Any suggestions on stopping almost 2 yrs vicodin usage?

[chicagoan90]

So August 13th of 2010 I was walking back to my "friend's" (I'll get to the reason why its in quotations in a bit)

[sandstone27]

Hey Chicago,

It's been a while since you've posted...How are you doing?
Are you still planning on getting back into rehab?  I really hope so.  It's time to get your life back, my friend.  

Drop us a note so we know you're OK, or just if you need a sympathetic ear. We're always here to listen.  

Looking forward to hearing from you...

Sandy :)

[lulu747]

Chicago...
I think your idea to check in to detox is awesome.  Please do it.  You need and deserve support.  As for your parents...I understand the not wanting to let them down-it was the hardest part for me in admitting I had a problem.  My family has been amazing and they are so happy to have ME back!  It is truly a personal thing...However, the more support you have and the more honest you are with those that love you, the greater chance you have at staying clean.  I commend you for your brave step towards reclaiming your life.  Please go easy on yourself and just take it one moment at a time.

Take care of yourself and the rest takes care of itself.
Please post and let us know how you make out.
Proud of you...
Lu

[chicagoan90]

Hey all,

Just thinkin about what I need to do and how to do it. I've wasted thousands of dollars and probably thousands of hours all because of this drug. I've lost many close friends(non drug users) because its not the norm. Its time for a change, its been time for a change. I want to tell my parents but am scared to let them down yet again. People just don't know how this addiction tears u apart unless they been through it and that makes it so much harder to tell ppl.
Maybe I shouldn't tell my parents and go check back in somwhere better this time, I have the insurance. And when I'm better then tell them what happened?

[lulu747]

Chicago...
Good morning.
Thinking of you....  Please do check in and let us know how you are...
Here to support..
Lu

[sandstone27]

Morning Chicago,

We'd really like to hear from you today;
Drop us a note and let us know how you're doing...

Well wishes..

Sandy

[lulu747]

Chicago...
My heart goes out to you....
Please reconsider telling your parents...We try so hard to pretend we are alright for those that love us.. when really we are falling apart.
As Sandy mentioned-you are on a very high dosage and C/T on your own can be dangerous.  Please seek medical care.  You survived a terrible trauma, and you need and deserve support and time in order to heal.  I hear your pain and know it must feel insurmountable... With the proper care and a safe environment you can work through the pain and fear and begin the healing process...There is no shame in your addiction.  It is NOT your fault this happened to you, and you DO have a choice now.  
No one does this alone.  The people that love you would rather have you alive...Please give yourself a fighting chance.  Your life is worth it.  
Sending support...
Lu

[all_alone1]

Chicagoan90......when you say it is like you are dead already.....you have a valid reason for feeling this way....I haven't eperienced anything close to what happen to you and my brother by the hands of someone else.....but I do know what tramatic episodes do to someone...they are forever changed and are never the same person they were before....just know you are not being judged for feeling the way you feel...how could you not after living not just through one but...you know what I mean....

I feel the pain in your words and it touches me deeply.....and i sencerly hope that someday soon you can start living again....it will be a hard road no dought.....but you are such a strong person inside and out..

Please know I am here for you.....we are all here for you honey

Angel

[sandstone27]

Good for you for checking into rehab.  I don't know what's more surprising, that your test for opiates came back negative, or that your liver panel was completely normal.  I suppose it's possible that they mixed up your results with someone else's, otherwise I'm at a loss for words regarding the test results.  

You need to explain this to your parents.  Through no fault of your own, you've been given an incorrect diagnosis.  I understand you wanting them to believe you haven't been taking the pills, but you were never given a real opportunity to get off of them.  You deserve that opportunity.  And I really believe that getting into a different facility - is the best and safest way to treat your addiction.  

You've already indicated that you have no control over the pills.  Which is far from uncommon by the way - most people here on the forum prefer Cold turkey for that very reason.  But your dose is too high for that, in my opinion.  

Please take the next step  -  I know it's a LOT easier for me to write this than it will be for you to have to do it; but Chicago, we're talking about saving your life here!

Please post back and let us know your plans, and just to let us know how you're doing.  

We're always here to listen and to help.

Sandy :)

[chicagoan90]

I'm sorry to hear about your brother, somehow I managed to survive but its pretty much like I am dead with the state I am in now. I know I should be grateful for another chance at life but I'm about at the point where I feel hopeless and like a slave to these pills, I think about them all day long, try to get them however I can, its pathetic and disgraceful. I did try aa/na but just couldn't grasp it, all I heard was stories of how ppl went to rehab multiple times and ended up using again and again.

[chicagoan90]

I've tried tapering but when I get that many pills I end up just takin all of them within a couple days I have horrible self control when it comes to the little yellow demon

[chicagoan90]

I recently had appointments with a counsler/therapist but didn't go because I was to scared to actually talk about what happened face to face because it brings me to a really dark place.

Regaurding the dose I know it is extemely high especially for the acteominphen. The time I checked myself into rehab a couple months ago they did liver test and said I was prefectly healthy even with this dangerous amounts daily. Suprisingly they did a drug test and it came back negative for opiates even though I used that day twice and the previous 3 days everyday, weird if u ask me. But since it came back negative they didn't believe I was taking anything and the detox they did was horrible and I was in pain and discomfort because I was not given the correct doses of withdrawl meds.

My parents think I am clean and have been clean since a couple months ago. I hate lying to them and everyone else. I know I need to go somewhere and stay there for awhile, just can't bring myself to let my parents be dissapointed in me yet again after gaining their trust back but I guess its false trust anyway

[all_alone1]

Chicagoan90.......I just finished reading your post and my heart goes out to you.....you have endured sooo much.....am glad you have come here and shared your very painful experiences with us

My brother was attacked by a group of individuals in 97 for no apparennt reason as well.....unfortunatly he did not survive the attack..... we beilieve he was mistaken for someone else because of who he was with.

Although I haven't read of anyone else on here who has gone through what you have experienced....I myself can only speack from the other point of view....that is loosing someone I loved to a violent crime..it was very hard and painful to go through...

just know there are sooo many caring people on this forum and we are all here to support you and encourage you through your detoxing process...


Angel

[sandstone27]

Hey there,

If immediate medical detox is not an option for you, I would recommend tapering down your medication until you're either at 0, or at a much lower dose where you can just quit altogether at that point. But 300 mgs in my opinion is way too high to just cold turkey from.  

We can't give specific tapering advice here at Medhelp, but I can tell you that you just need to keep reducing the amount of pills you take each day, wait for your body to adjust to the drop, and then reduce again.  

There are some things you can read on this forum that will help you while you detox - even though you're tapering, you will go through withdrawal.

If you look to the bottom of your screen, there is the Thomas recipe and the amino acid protocol.  Alot of the items there will help you tremendously when the withdrawals hit.  Immodium is a must.  Opiates supress just about every area of the body, including the intestines,  so you will have the runs.  Taking a good multi vitamin along with B12 and a calcium/magnesium/zinc supplement will also help.  

Make sure you stay hydrated - this is SO important.  Drinks like gatorade with electrolytes are best.  Eat when  you can, even if you don't feel like it.
It will help.  Moving around and keeping busy will help keep your mind off of your discomfort.

AGAIN Chicago, if you can get some type of immediate care where you can detox under medical supervision, this would be much better than doing it on your own.  I included the above information if this is your only option.

We are here to help and support you whenever you need it, so please post often.  

Will be thinking of you and sending well wishes....

Sandy :)

[sandstone27]

My heart goes out to you Chicago.   You've been through alot in your life, and I'm so glad that you can are reaching out for help.  You mentioned that you were seeing an Addictions counselor - and yes, it was unconscionable that she in effect became your supplier.  Have you been in any other type of therapy for anxiety or possibly PTSD?   I'm not a medical professional, but I believe you could really benefit from seeing a doctor with a background in this area.

Regarding your drug addiction, I'm sure you know the dose is really high. Not just for the hydrocodone, but the acetominophen is well past the 4000 mg dose considered to be safe in a 24 hour period.

We can offer you all kinds of support here at Medhelp;  I'm concerned though, that since your dose is so high right now, going through medical detox might be the best option ASAP.  Is this possible for you?
If it's not, please post back right away so we can further advise you.  
Also, how long have you been at this high a dose?

Post back, OK?

Sandy...

[chicagoan90]

And currently hydrocodone is all I'm taking but I have taken oxy,morphine,tramadol,methadone just to answer ur question.

Another thing that has messed with me a lot is the lady who I have gotten most of my stuff from turned out to be an Addictions counsler how messed up is that?

[chicagoan90]

I appreciate the comments. Hey ya it really is heart breaking and has changed my life drastically not only with the addiction but my fear of going out and enjoying myself not knowing if this could happen again.
And the fact that now I know you can't really trust anyone to have your back. I'm a pretty big guy but with the odds stacked against me or anyone for that fact not much u could do but try and survive I guess.

And yes sadly I meant 10 10/325 norcos 3x a day sometimes more but rarely less :(. It was not always this bad but it grows uncontrollably.

I have dealt with a lot besides this event recently of past childhood sexual assaults when I was 8 or 9 years old from my older brother. I have never used drugs before this but now I probably do use them in a way to mask the pain. I recently told my parents about what happened when I was younger and its like I need these pills to be able to live with myself now, I know that's not right and its not my fault what happend but I always get to thinking and use more and more. I have a lot on my plate and just want my life back like I said.

[sandstone27]

Hi there and Welcome to Medhelp.  I'm so sorry about the ordeal you've been through - being attacked like that without provocation is heartbreaking to read.  

You've come to the right place for help, or for a good start at least.  I say this because when you wrote that you take 10 - 3x a day, did you mean 10 pills 3 x a day, or 10mg pills 3 x a day?  If you meant 10 pills, what mg are they?  Is hydrocodone the only medication you're taking?

Please post back with this information so we can help you further.  I'm glad to see that  you're seeking help for your addiction.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Sandy :)

[GA_need_help]

Dear Friend,
It's 3 in the morning here, and I just woke to back pain to see your post.  Due to back pain that led to getting a new disc, I am also on prescription pain killers (Opana ER).  My story isn't nearly as horrible as yours, and I want to tell you I am very sorry. Very Sorry for what you have been through.  I have also been through 3 1/2 weeks of rehab--and started again bc of pain (but after the hell of the last 2 + years, I think I can deal with that pain now).  During this last 2 + years (especially the 10 months I have lived post Soma and Clonazapam), I have realized the havoc this drug has worked on my mind.  I am sure that since you have tried to quit so many times, you understand the mental hell too.  I am at the place that I HAVE to get on a drug that I can cut (Opana ER cannot be cut).  Then I plan to taper off the drug.  I get great support and information here.  I also go to AA face-to-face meetings (which help with sanity and give me community), NA phone meetings, and AA computer meetings.  I also have online chats that help.  I just want to tell you that I know we can find a great deal of loving support here.  Others will post their experience, strength and hope.  I felt it was so important I write immediately, in hopes that anything I share can give you hope too.  Don't give up.  I believe that God will do a major healing work in both you and me.
Your Friend, Marie

[chicagoan90]

I was attacked by a group of 7-10 ppl for no apparent reason, I believe they thought I was someone else. I was lucky to have survived this ordeal, sometimes I wish I didn't because of the shape I am in now and how I am addicted to this awful drug unitentionally. I never used drugs before this and wish I would have never taken a pain killer. I just want my life back

[chicagoan90]

My jaw was wired shut for 8 weeks and was prescribed liquid loratab(never took any sort of narcotics before this) on week 3 I was laying in bed and started getting horrific pains in my side. I ended up having punemonia in my left lung which transfered to my right lung and I was on the hospital for 15 days getting dilaudid every 6 hrs for those 15 days because of the pain. I truly believe this is where I became addicted. After I got my wires off I had reconstructive surgery on my torn tendon and was prescribed norcos for the pain for that. The hand surgeon gave me a new script every week I went in for a check-up without even asking for it, by now I was already addicted and didn't realize my body needed it to function. After a couple months I needed all 4 wisdom teeth pulled and was given another script for norcos.

I cannot believe how doctors just give this stuff out like its nothing serious. This whole ordeal was not my fault and now almost two years and probably over $15,000 later I am still taking norcos everyday all day long. I have tried to stop probably I don't know 30 different times, I went to rehab for 3 wks once. I've tried tapering, cold turkey, subutex.

I have gotten so bad that I am taking 10- 3x a day. I just want my life back. I used to go to the gym 6 days a week and live a healthy fit lifestyle. Now I go days without eating. Only worrying if I'm gonna have enough pills. I've stolen money from my family, I've sold my possesions.

Please anyone that can suggest anything id greatly appreciate it. I just want to stop and don't know what to do I've tried many