Are/Were you THIS bad off?

[troubleinohio]

Im wondering how many of you got to the point I was at before I quit again. I was taking so many damn pills a day and my addiction had gotten so bad that i was having WD symptoms IN BETWEEN DOSES even! it wouldnt even be 2 hours since my last dose and I would start getting leg pains and diarrhea. Seriously. Years ago, i used to not even get the diarrhea when i quit...then later on, it would take 5-7 days before it set it in...then a few months later by day 3 it would come and pretty soon it would be less than 24 hours since last dose and Id be running for the bathroom. Unbelievable. The progression of addiction is crazy and I hope to those of you reading this that are still actively using and are not wearing a heavy weight belt yet will heed the warning about this. Quit now before you get so bad off that youre not playing Russian Roulette with your life every day. Before you constantly worry if your liver is going to fail you, or wonder if you will wake up the next morning after having your respiration depressed so much from too much opiate. Before you find yourself spending money you dont have to get more just to keep yourself from going into WD because the high you've been chasing has been gone a long time. Before you lose your family's trust and support. Before you lose a loved one , before you lose your life... Im sorry to be so dramatic this morning.. I am really struggling today though. Im entering 2 weeks clean now and still I hurt so bad I cant stand it. The muggy weather combined with low pressure coming in later is killing my back and joints that have arthritis in them. I STILL have diarrhea too btw. Its ridiculous.  I hate that its come to this.  I have one refill left on my script that i was too scared to cancel but I have not called it in, nor will I. I have to suffer this out. But I just wanted to warn some of you who are still using and are not quite that bad off yet...get off them before you do get this bad or worse...

[LoveMyKids1]

Very good post- THANK YOU

[gizzy32]

Eagle, I can relate to the lines. As you know, coke is not satisfying, I did lines every few minutes sometimes, my past year of use i could not leave the house without bringing my bag of coke. I needed it every minute of everyday, there were no breaks in between, coke high last 20 min max. I look back now and don't understand how I needed something that bad, but glad those days are over.

Trouble, I am happy your hanging tough this time, you are gonna be fine, just never ever let your guard down. The couple times I have let my guard down since I have been on Medhelp was a disaster. We are addicts and need help and support even after significant clean time. Congrats on your clean time again:)

[whitie]

mine started off just doing a few norcos, then that turned into 6-10 a day. well after 4 years of that, i was just doing them to feel normal. then I discovered methadone, and started mixing them for a year and a half, and I liked it better..........until I found out what a mistake it was.

the 'done last along time, so I dont think my body got to the stage yours did.  but I remember a few times waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air!!!! then when I was having an emergency appendectomy, and the nurse kept shooting me up with dilaudid and it did not even phase me, and final gave me morphine that barely worked...the nurse said"I am surprised your even breathing right now, you got a very unusually high tolerance level" well then I realized, that I must have been close to death, those nights I woke up gasping.  OMG how stupid is that?????

then in the morning while in a complete burned out haze, I would start out searching for the two 'done and two norcos, to get me back to normal,just so I could make it to work 15 minutes late.


I know its only been about 69 days for me, and more work needs to be done for me, given I was addicted for a long time,  but ......MAN IT SURE DOES FEEL GOOD TO BE BACK TO NORMAL !!!!!!

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

Boy, I know firsthand what both of you are saying.  I woke up in a hospital.....they had just finished removing a trach tube that had been breathing for me. My son had found me at a very critical moment and called the EMS....  It was a standard "miraculous" save. I had enough in me to fully depress respiration - - and I had taken a zanax also. Incredible that I was rescued. And as far as I was concerned, I wasnt even high!  

[leeisgettingclean]

lord your story is my story ! I have been right there, still trying to make up for the money i spent that wasnt there, i got loans, maxed out my overdraft pay at bank, pay day loans, i maxed out the money, yet always come up with something. Today is like day 10 for me, luckily i quit right before year 3, i know the lenght of time you use makes it that much worst.
I just pray to God that i never have to go back to that point in time, and thank him that today I wont let it happen. Using today is not going to help anything, only gona add to problems.
Thank you for sharing what you shared, it helped remind me today why i quit using.
Thank you, Lee

[troubleinohio]

eagle- i know what you mean. I never did coke, but there were plenty of times when i had to take a different pill (usually my back ups- darvocet or codeine) just so i could get to the doctors office to try and get another script. I remember once taking 3 tyel 3's and glugging straight from the bottle of Pepto just so i could crawl into the dr's without being too ill to get there. so pathetic..

[Tierre21]

Honestly what caused me to want to stop was the realization how easy it would be to accidently overdose.  I use to always think how could someone accidently overdose don't they realize what they are putting in their mouths.  The one day after I took 120mg of diladid, followed by about 60mg of oxycodene it just hit me how easy it would be to die from what I just did.  
It was a wake up call alright.
Mainly because I didn't even get a buzz from it and was seriously thinking about taking more..
That's what did it for me..

[dominosarah]

It was 24 hrs a day 7 days a week LIVING nightmare.

I hope you feel better trouble......the weather here has cooled again so hopefully that is headed your way...........sara

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

I hear and have lived every word that you wrote, trouble! It got to the point that I needed a line of coke to get to the drugstore (or wherever...) to pick up opiates!!!