Athena

Hey sweetie, I just wanted you to know that I was thinking of you. I posted way down there, so please read it.  I luvs ya and thank you so much for all your support and want you to know that I'm always here for you girlie... luvs ya, Lil.

[athena-8]

Hey! You're right--so nice to log on and find a message to me! Thank you Love.
I will scroll down and read your other message. Hope you had a wonderful day fishing.
Heartfelt Regards,

--A
PS I slept 8 hours last night!!!!

[athena-8]

Lil!
I read your note from yesterday; thanks dear. yes, this forum is my rock right now. I do want him to come back, but I also supported him in leaving--no begging him to stay, etc. He has given me over 20 chances within the last 2 years and I never was able to stay clean longer than 2 months in a row. So really, he has tried to support me, but he also has his own well-being to think about--he's a recovering addict and is at risk when I bring the stuff in the house! One time he found an oxy, looked it up on-line, and almost took it! That's after 10 years clean. yikes. He also has to experience the "fallout" of every w/d and deal with me while I'm actively using, which is not pleasant. So it's truly insanatiy for him to stay around at this point in time.

anyway, we also both know that there's a possibility that this might just be the kick in the pants i need to stick with it this time. I did go through 3-4 days of being very. very angry with him for "abandoning" me...today I'm just a little sad--no anger right now, but that could change. my emotions are all over the place. I really love him and want it to work. We are going to revisit our relationship and consider permanent option on May 1. So I guess that's when I find out if he's going to leave me for good or not.
Thanks for the support!!!! You have no idea how much it means to me. I don't have to go through this alone.

--Athena

[lil_rab2005]

Yeah sweetie, I think that happening will definitely help you into not ever taking a pill again.  I truly hope everything works out ok.  My prayers are with you and I've been thinking about you all day.  You and a few others on here are so inspirational to me.  I know we can do this, it just takes alot of will power, support and understanding to do it.  I've slipped so many times but I think it's getting better and better for me thanks to all the support I get on here.  You make so many people feel good about theirselves.  You are truly an inspiration to all.  You are so sweet an refreshing to everyone.  I am so proud of you.  Is it day 8 today?  Wow, wish I could say the same.  I agree with you also on the crystal ball thing lol... it's nice to know what people are going through a couple of days ahead of you lol.  I hope you have a wonderful restful nite and god bless you sweetie!!!  Luvs ya lots, Lil.  :)