Atypical addiction/mental health problem

[help4husband]

Hello.  I am a wife that is desperately trying to find help for my husband. We live in a small town with limited counseling resources.  My husband is not your stereotypical addict.  He does not actively seek or purchase them on the streets.  When they are available....like in a friend or family member's medicine cabinet or purse.  He takes them all, knowing at some point he will get caught.  Without going into the entire story, my question is this.  His desire to take the pills is the secondary problem.  I think he has something mentally going on that brings him to do this when the opportunity arises. Everything I read online or hear from other people just doesn't seem to apply to him.  I am certainly not in denial, excusing his actions, and realize that this is a major problem.  Our marriage is on the line and he knows I will leave with our 1 year old.  He's scared and we are seeking help at another counseling service and through our pastor.  I just want to know if anyone has been through this, or has dealt with a loved one this has happened to.  The one counselor even told us that he doesn't fit the textbook definition of what an addict is, so she did not help.  Can depression bring him to do this?  Bipolar? Any other mental health issue?  I know someone out there has been through this and really need to hear their experience.  Thank you for your time.  

[dominosarah]

Addiction affects all walks of life.  I am a mother and grandma and i am a recovering  addict.  You dont have to be buying on the streets either.  He is showing classic addict behavior by stealing them out of medicine cabinets and purses.  Yes usually we have underlying issues that need to be dealt with and i am glad to see you are doing that before this gets more out of hand.  What other things are you talking about that you dont feel applies to him?  I am just curious.         sara

[leeisgettingclean]

i agree with Sara on this..and I would only add ..."his actions are very much stereotypical of an addict", not buying on the streets means nothing...its not how you get your drugs..that makes no point in the real problem, and I am not saying that to belittle you or him, cause by reading your post I understand that you make no secret in the fact that he is an addict..So anyways, yes absolutly depression can add to addiction, i think all addicts have some underlaying condition, heck I think all people have a underlaying condition, as an addict we just deal with it by using..

[Evacrednow]

I'm sorry you are going through this, but I have to echo that your husband is displaying classic addict symptoms.  At this point in time, it might not be full blown (he's not trying to buy opiates from South America on the Internet or hit up the local drug park) but stealing other people's meds is how I first started abusing opiates.  I was stealing other people's meds for years, when I could get the chance, and only when I found a reliable source did I just get them for myself, but I took them from medicine cabinets for a long time before that.

The other issue to be worried about is that you are the one on this site looking for help and not him.  A user/addict will not get better unless they want to.  I'm sorry to say these things, but I know them to be universally true when it comes to addiction.

[Florida_Guy737]

I agree with you...something else is going on.  Most addicts will use the meds to cover some type of pain, emotional or physical, and escape into a non-retribution environment.  You have to find the issue....sounds like you are on the right track.

[ZJILLIAN]

Your husband IS an addict. He is engaging in irrational behavior to get drugs. You do not need to buy on the street etc. AND you don't need to use everyday. He is binge using--stealing when they are easily available although he knows this is crazy behavior and he will be caught, and using non-prescribed meds belonging to someone else as long as they last. This IS classic addict behavior. Your counselor probably knows very little about addiction.

A lot of us have behaved just like your husband for years and years and the behavior and tolerance for the drug just gets worse.

YOU DO NOT GET TO ANY UNDERLYING PROBLEMS UNTIL YOU STOP USING.
Absolutely!! I can't stress that enough. It is a rule of thumb. Stop the behavior first and then see what comes up. You use because you use; most of us don't have a real good reason but can come up with something if we want to feel more in control of what is irrational habit driven behavior. You use because you use--whatever--because you're sad today, or angry, or you're mother didn't like you the best, or guilt of using makes you use, or it is too cold today or too hot today and on and on.

Your husband doesn't know why he is doing this. It is because he is an addict. As a first step he needs to be really puzzled by his behavior. We like to think of ourselves as rational and in control and when we do irrational self-destructive things we need to become curious about it.

Ask him to read the posts and identify with what sounds familiar and not to focus on the differences. Tell him it is like when an alcoholic JUST gets blind drunk at parties or on weekends or only on beer and therefore tells him/herself that they aren't really' an alcoholic.

I would focus on the immediate behavior. Stealing drugs. And if he can't stop he is by definition an addict and needs help from other addicts to stop.