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BEING NORMAL
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This community is a place to share information and support with others who are trying to stop using drugs, prescription drugs, alcohol, tobacco or other addictive substances. Discuss with others, the symptoms of addiction, addiction recovery, ways to quit like tapering and cold turkey, and withdrawal symptoms. If you are interested in general "chat", please visit our Addiction Social Community.

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BEING NORMAL

I HAVE BEEN ON EVERY KIND OF PAIN MEDS THATS OUT THERE,BEEN IN REHAB TWICE DETOX A THOUSAND OF TIME. AS IAM WRITING THIS AS IAM DETOXING MY SELF RIGHT NOW 2 DAYS IN WITH THE HELP OF A LOW DOSE ADAVAN  I NEVER STAY CLEAN LONG ENOUGH TO FEEL NORMAL I HAVE LOST A LOT AND I DONT WANT TO LOSE WHAT I HAVE NOW AND THAT IS MY GIRL AND MY DAUGHTER I LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART ! WHEN DO YOU START FEELING NORMAL ? THAT IS MY QUESTION,I NEED THAT AT LEAST THATS WHAT I THINK I NEED PLEASE HELP
15 Comments Post a Comment
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495284_tn?1333897642
Sounds like this isnt your 1st rodeo so you know that the getting clean is the easy part, staying clean is the hard one.  Using is only a symptom of this addiction.  There is something that drives us to use.  We bury many demons along the way and we have to get to the bottom of it.  Have you thought about any type of aftercare?  You can break this cycle and you are worth fighting for~
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4341997_tn?1380655144
i know it's hard but it does get better....as you know the first few days are rough.....but the longer you stay in the fight the better it gets......you will have good and bad days but the outcome is so worth it!!  just keep posting.....we are here for you!!  
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Avatar_f_tn
It would help us help you if you could let us know what you are currently detoxing from? There are many different types of drugs with different lengths and severity of withdrawal. I don't want to give any suggestions without knowing what you were taking and how much. Congrats on making the decision to quit whatever it is you were taking because it is a HARD thing to do!
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Avatar_m_tn
10mg oxy 20 a day
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Avatar_m_tn
Is it possible for you to go into rehab? One thing I know for sure, its hard or almost impossible to get clean on our own. I understand how you feel and hear you. I have 14 yrs clean and am a recovering addict and an certified addiction treatment counselor. I used heroin for over 25 years. Do you have a support group? Have you gone to any NA meetings? Sounds like the best chace for you is to consider a medical detox, followed by some addiction treatment, possibly residential treatment. The things you want to keep such as family and a life will be hard to hold on to unless you are willing to go to any lengths. I dont want to sound discouraging, but our addictions never get better and always get worse if were not willing to go to any lengths in order to get clean. I have seen very few addicts who are capible of tapering a habit on thier own. I know you have tried what I have suggested, but sometimes a new experience and a willingness and taking the appropriate ACTION will make the difference. As they say, u cant think yourself in to acting better, but u can act ur way into different thinking. The fact that ur reaching out on this site is good and I support you in ur effort.
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Avatar_m_tn
rehab !    i dont have ins. and i dont want my love one knowing anything. iam like 4 days in detox, iam already searching for a quick buzz just to get rid of cramps. my younger brother just stop by has no idea about my problem. blurts out and asked me if i want to buy any perc. thank god he didnt pick them up yet but i was willing.
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Avatar_m_tn
Congrats on not taking the percs from ur brother, but what I hear you saying is that you are craving relief!! and rehab is a safe place with support and counseling & with the desire you express, it just might work for you this time. First of all, most rehabs have county beds for people who dont have insurance, sometimes this involves a waiting list, and sometimes u can find one with an available bed. Even if theres a waiting list, i wud suggest you get yourself on it. If you can stay clean and dont need it when a bed opens up, then you dont have to go. U refer to your wife as your love, and u might be surprised to find she will support you in your effort if you are honest with her. There are no easy answers. If you cont to use, u will probably loose her anyway. I dont know ur area, or I wud suggest a facility that could help. We sometimes find out the secrets we are keeping are the thing that will keep us sick. The other option is a 21 day out patient detox with methadone or suboxin. Excuse the spelling. The problem there is we stay in our addiction and clinics tend to suggest a maintenence program. This works for some people, but never did for me. Congats on ur 4 days, I know that wasnt easy. Are u open to 12 step mtgs? There are a lot of people who have gone through what ur going through, and u wud at least find some support and maybe some suggestions that wud help you get through this. Detox is just the beggining, Staying clean is the hard part and this is what u might find in treatment. I hope you find a soulution. I support you in ur effort. I doubt u like my suggestions, but I cud not comment without being honest. This is just my oppinion, but its based on working with many addicts over many years. I wish you the best.
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Avatar_m_tn
THERE ARE LOTS OF REASONS FOR ME TO USE. 1ST I HAVE A REALLY BAD BACK FROM AN ACCIDENT. I ALSO HAVE ULCERTIVE COLLITIS WHICH IS A F-UP COLAN WHEN IAM ON THE PAIN MEDS I HAVE NO PAIN MY COLITIS IS GONE, BUT USING UP MY 120ct - 10MG PERCS IN JUST 2 WEEKS IS JUST CRAZY.AND THEN TRYING TO FIND SOME ON THE STREET FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS, CAN A PERSON LIKE ME JUST TAKE 1 PILL EVERY 4 HOURS AS NEEDED, I HAVE BUSTED UP MY BODY NOW FOR 50 YEARS  COUNTLESS KNEE SUGERIES BROKEN BONES EVERYTIME SOMETHING STARTS TO GO RIGHT LIKE BEING CLEAN FROM THIS CRAP I TAKE SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS AND THE DOCTORS SAY TAKE THESE FOR PAIN AND THAT VISIOUS CYCLE STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN I HATE THIS **** !!!
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495284_tn?1333897642
Once we cross that line into addiction it is almost impossible to go back and be responsible.  Your tolerance is way up too so taking 1 every 4 hrs would be pointless at this time.  Once some time has passed you may find out your pain will lessen.  Have you thought about talking with your doctor and telling him about this?
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Avatar_m_tn
THERE ARE LOTS OF REASONS FOR ME TO USE. 1ST I HAVE A REALLY BAD BACK FROM AN ACCIDENT. I ALSO HAVE ULCERTIVE COLLITIS WHICH IS A F-UP COLAN WHEN IAM ON THE PAIN MEDS I HAVE NO PAIN MY COLITIS IS GONE, BUT USING UP MY 120ct - 10MG PERCS IN JUST 2 WEEKS IS JUST CRAZY.AND THEN TRYING TO FIND SOME ON THE STREET FOR THE NEXT 2 WEEKS, CAN A PERSON LIKE ME JUST TAKE 1 PILL EVERY 4 HOURS AS NEEDED, I HAVE BUSTED UP MY BODY NOW FOR 50 YEARS  COUNTLESS KNEE SUGERIES BROKEN BONES EVERYTIME SOMETHING STARTS TO GO RIGHT LIKE BEING CLEAN FROM THIS CRAP I TAKE SOMETHING ELSE HAPPENS AND THE DOCTORS SAY TAKE THESE FOR PAIN AND THAT VISIOUS CYCLE STARTS ALL OVER AGAIN I HATE THIS **** !!!
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Avatar_m_tn
AT THIS TIME CANT NO INS. IAM LOSING MY MIND !
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495284_tn?1333897642
I know it feels like you are losing your mind but you wont.  This is tough and i so remember feeling like you do but we will do whatever we can to make this easier for you.
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Avatar_f_tn
Normal is a month most likely , but buy a cheap bottle of l-tyrosine $7.99 and it will help u think a bit better,   I believe normal is what I was before I began pills, so that's ur normal too,     You'll feel better in a week and half way normal in a month. Lets keep u off the crap. It robs us of everything, money .....friends,  bad choices, risky moves.  It's not worth it, keep coming back, expect to hang tuff for a week more and please never go back to them. U've reached out and the people here will embrace that and now u know we are looking for u to succeed. So come post daily or a few times a day, just don't turn back to the pill hell.  We are rig there with u, day 4 off, tapering was 23 days,  the leap and a few nights of hard sleep and legs moving.   Just walk thru the fire with us, ok,,,,,, stay strong, report back.  Ull be the dad u want to be when ur over this hump.   It's time ! NOW
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Avatar_f_tn
With all due respect,   U don't need money to detox, ok, so don't let that make u give up or give in.   Actually some vitamins and turfing it out is ok.  Rehabs tons of money and our friends here provide a great tool,  they're watching u and ur watching them and we get clean and stay clean together.  With medical and rehab, it's not a choice for many,   So no worries, do it how we are, at home, with hopefully people who support ur detox and friends here.   It's free to come clean and really we end up with more because we aren't paying for those toxic pills anymore, stay in it, for good. U can do it !!!!!!
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Avatar_m_tn
DAY 5 AND ALL THE REASONS I HAVE BEEN TAKING THOSE PILLS ARE COMING BACK, PAIN EVERYTHING HURTS VERY TIRED CANT SLEEP BUT THEY SEEM 100 TIMES WORST CANT THINK STRAIGHT MY DAUGHTER AND GIRLFRIEND ARE SICK WITH SOME KIND OF BUG AND IT IS REALLY TUFF FOR ME TO TAKE CARE OF THEM LIKE I SHOULD BE,
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