Back again to say hi

[Nez37]

I haven't been here for a while. Things haven't been too good lately as i'm still w/d from my large amount of medication for back pain. I take 360mg morphine s/r pills, ( reduced by 1 x 60mg pill per day ), 8 x dihydrocodeine, 4 x zydol ( tramadol ), 4 x baclofen, 2 x diclofenic, 100ml oramorph solution, 1 x pantoprazole & 2 x adcal for osteoporosis. Its been 10 days of sweats, stomach pain, sick feeling, headaches etc but most of all is my bad mood towards my wife & kids. I'll have a go at the kids over breakfast for the slightest little thing. They are son 15, & two girls 13 & 5. I haven't told the kids i'm starting to w/d from my pills or explained to them what i'm going through. My wife has been great & said I should go to a place called detox 5 for a professional detox even though it costs £3100.00 for 5 days. We are waiting to hear what the hospital have to say about my latest MRI scan, x-rays & blood tests as to what can be done to help me with the pain. I have osteoporosis & I keep breaking my vertebrae by simply knocking my back or not concentrating as I step off the curb & jar my back. Does anybody have any comments on how to cope with the ratty moods & aggressive attitude? All suggestions welcome & good luck to all going through w/d.

[Nez37]

I've started to see a new doctor & when I said I need a repeat prescription she looked at the amount i'm  taking & said it's really high & that I need to reduce it. She said that my other doctor has just kept putting the dose up everytime i've said i'm still in pain & that this was the wrong thing to do. She knows it's not my fault. When I was first given oramorph I was prescribed a 500ml bottle & told to take what I need.

[avisg]

Thats a whole lot of diffrent meds to be on .Are you wanting to get off them or is this what your doctor wants ?

[Nez37]

I take an adcal lozenge twice a day which is a vitamin supplement but that's all i've been given for the osteoporosis. I was basically diagnosed with it & told I need to drink milk, eat yoghurts & certain foods & that's all that's happened regarding it. I'm not really a talking my problems out sort of guy & I know this website is really good but I never know what to write. I try to stay happy & smile but I think i've started to get deppression as I find it hard to be in a good mood even when I know everything around me is ok. I used to be a very happy laughing & joking person but I just feel so guilty that my wife is doing so much for me, the kids & the family I struggle to smile.

[10356]

I understand this but you know many have become addicted through medical pain.. My children know of my addictions and think no less of me. they have even been a tremendous support.. it is of course your decision but I can imagen he feels very confused to who you truly are.. this is what drugs do to us. they rob of us truly feeling and robs those we love and leaves them confused.. In your situation I would honestly seek out another Dr. and Opinion.. You do sound fragile but the meds you are on is tremendous and the support you need from a Dr. not there.. I'm so glad your wife is behind you as this makes it a lil easier to relive the feeling of aloneness.. you are not alone that you can be assured of we just have to learn to adjust our attitudes and to think out side of the box.. is there anyway way you can go into a longer detox program.. just because we have the drugs out of our symptoms does not mean we are done dealing with the effects.. you are on a lot of different meds.. this has to be taken into consideration..

[Nez37]

All my dr has said is to start by not taking 1 x 60mg morphine pill & that's it. She didn't say anything about how i'd feel. I feel telling the kids wouldn't do any good. I've been like this for 5 years & they've had to put up with my pain & lack of energy & moods this long. I feel if I tell them they'll look up on the internet & start to worry about me. My dr is totally useless so I don't have much confidence in her. I feel I can't feel like this for the length of time the dr said it'd take to come off the pills completely & that detox would be better. I try to stay happy but snap over the slightest thing.

[10356]

Hello and welcome to the forum.. I'm very sorry to read of your physical problems.. are you trying to come off these all at once ? and is this through your Dr. that you are tapering ? a 5 day detox I have no recommendations for as I think it is to short for what you are going through.. but I may be able to help with your attitude.. To be completely honest it is up to you how to react to things.. a bad attitude a bad day.. You have to dig deep inside and embrace the changes you are going through Having in mind the benefit of your family and their feelings.. being honest with them would be a great start.. not only is it educational but it shows you can trust and depend on your 15 year old to help.. in other words stop fighting the process and change up the attitude  I do not mean this to sound harsh it just is the way it is,, tramadol wd can cause depression and seizures so I hope you are close in touch with your dr. I wish you well lesa

[Mom4Peace]

Hi Nez! There are alternative ways to deal with pain and I'm sure you have much pain with osteoporosis. Also sounds like you're experiencing. 'fragility fractures'. Did your doctor prescribe a nutritional regimen? Or Calcium and Vit D to increase bone density?
Get more support for the w/d you're going through.
I don't know about being addicted but I do know that you can meditate for 30 minutes a day to relax. Also exercise of sorts helps with the aggression. Good nutrition, warm baths, stay away from too many caffeine products, decrease caffeine intake gradually, avoid too much sugar, B-vitamins are excellent. Ask your wife to give you a massage everyday, that helps relax you too. When you feel this anxiety, take a time out for yourself and a few long deep inhalation breaths. Try to laugh more and love yourself as much as you love your family. Talk to someone in NA if you can't talk to anyone else. We're here for you, keep in touch and let us know how it's going.