Back to klonopin?

[Coperniki]

Ok so I used to take klonopin illegally for about 8 years, been off for 4 months. I'm still having urges to go out and get some (no connections where I'm at). But wouldn't mind taking risks to get some benzos. When I was taking klonopin I was much happier, I got out and swam everyday I could, played basketball etc... I could think clearer and concentrate better. I'm having a hard time feeling comfortable in my body and my mind. I am seeing a counselor and doctor(part of my plan to get well). At this point I really wouldn't mind going back to taking the benzos so I feel good again and I can get working again. I guess I'm just having a hard time, any help would be appreciated. I'm thinking of asking the doctor if I can atleast be on something similar so I can get back to my accustomed feelings. What should I do?

[meegWpaw]

during the time i was trying to get off benzos, i sometimes found one or two in odd places around the house.  i would take that one that I found and i felt great!  my anxiety was gone ... i felt 'normal' ... i felt like myself again!  i could move better and function so much better in the world.  but it always came back to bite me in the azz.  the rebound effect, the insomnia, and all the side effects of detox were eventually back--and worse--and for longer.  what i discovered after many 'go-rounds' was that i had to get off all benzos, for good.  as ike said, i still deal with anxiety and it is often not easy!!!  but i would rather keep working at it without meds (through things like breathing, yoga, etc) than have the illusory 'help' of benzos ...

[refills]

I'm a life long anxiety sufferer. This kind of problem is not discussed or talked out loud about in most environments. Home or work alike. People are embarrassed to show this side of perceived weakness. I would say the the percentages of addicts with an underlying anxiety/depression/emotional issue is much higher than the average person would understand. So now what do we do? Suffer is basically the answer. That's how I really feel. I also have strong feelings why this should be discussed right here in this community. I believe anxiety plays that big of a role in addiction.

Back to benzo's. Of course you want to take them again. They can give immediate help and bring peace to one's troubled soul and brain. I started taking Xanax 15 years ago for aiding sleep. Just like snapping my fingers I was taking 8, 9 mgs of Xanax a day while drinking at least 24 beers a day. Benzo's IMO are not to be taken as a life long problem solver. They will turn on you and cause more anxiety of a different kind. Depersonalization being one of the more serious symptoms. Very scarey. This type of anxiety med can be very effective for a shorter time frame and I do know that there are longer acting benzo's, I just can't see taking this type of medicine as an addict for any great length of time.

What I am saying is Benzo's can bring short term relief and may be a short term answer when there is no other type of help within reach. IMO taking any benzo will reach it's peak of effectiveness and MAY turn on the user causing more problems. At least in my experience. I Wish You the Best of Luck. Peace of mind can be very fleeting for some and I hope you can find your piece of mind........ike

I won't proof read this, I'm too tired after that, plus this is where my brain is at right now. Hopping all over the place. Another sign of how long the withdrawals of this medicine takes.

[jaztulip]

Using anything to feel happier is risky since eventually like all addictions it will stop working as well and you will need more, then you will have withdrawal from it once you stop. I agree with msdelight, it sounds like you are just still in withdrawal as it can take time and you will most likely feel a lot better once you get through this all. A doctor would know best but I think you'll be very grateful to yourself if you just stop all medications and experience what it is truly like to be free.

[msdelight]

From the answers I received to my klonopin question, I would guess you are still withdrawing from it. Please don't go back to benzos. I'm not going to take any and neither should you. Hang in there and keep healing.