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Bad Cravings...

Okay so I got out today, went shopping and bought nothing but healthy food like a good girl, and I realized why I was taking so many vic's I am tired of "feeling". I am not a happy person. All I do is think about my ex and it is driving me nuts. If I had any vic's right now I would probably take a handful.
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149087 tn?1258453820
Hey there. How long were you and your ex together and how long have you been broken up? Sorry the brain fog really has me good tonight and I forgot. It is hard to let go of someone that you truely love, even if you arent sure why you love them. Trust me I know from experience. Just read some of my older posts, that will explain it all. In my case the sad part is that now when I am having problems with my man, no one wants to hear about it. They have heard me complain and have watched me hurt for too long by this man, but I just keep on taking him back. Its hard to put into words, but I do love him. Hes done burnt all ties with my family though, none of them like him and me going to them and trying to talk about it is like the little boy who cried wolf.

I dont really have an answer for you on how to get over your ex because I dont know how to do it myself. I do however want to tell you that you are doing a great job on your recovery. How many days do you have clean now? Please dont let this man ruin it for you. Hes already broken your heart and stomped it into a mud hole, dont let him bury you further into the mud.

I know its hard but you need to pull yourself up out of the mud and maybe try going out with some friends, or meet some new people to hang out with. You never know, maybe you will find another man that you are compatible with. If you ever feel like chatting I have yahoo messenger. I use this same screen name, its not hard to find me and you are welcome to add me if you want. Just hang in there ok, you know we are there for you 100% and we will not walk out on you like your ex did.
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Avatar universal
No don't do that!! Won't help, and ya just feel worse later and even more tomorrow anyhow. Right? :)

Glad you came here instead!!!

Tracy
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Avatar universal
Thanks Tracy, ya not fun being hung over : )
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Avatar universal
Oh boy I know that is right! Your welcome hun. I hope you are feeling better soon. It gets better. Takes time, but it does get better.

I am thinking of you!

Tracy
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Avatar universal
I understand where you are coming from, that's exactly how I felt yesterday (i ended up taking a methadone to stop the craving, and i hear that their worse then percs)!!! Some people may think I am crazy, but I've always been like the self-motivator type person! If you try to think as positve as possible, it really helps! I'll sit and write inspirational poems to myself, it helps alot! It makes me realize I can do what I want to do, life is what you make it, as long as you put your heart and soul into it! You were the first one to send me words of support, and as you were there for me, i'm here for you! i'll write you a poem and post it in a little bit 4 u! Don't let it get the best of yourself,you can do it!! Get the best of yourself honey!! I know you can do it, I dwell on alot of things, today for some reason i was super happy(kind of scary) Your better then any ex, remember your a wonderful human being and you can do what you put your mind too!!!
Sincerely, strictly me...
P.S. KEEP FAITH IN YOURSELF!!
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Avatar universal
Would going back to your boyfriend really make thing "great" in your life?

Would going back to your pills make things great in your life.

I'm sure you've been down both roads before?  

get yourself straigthend out and I know you 'tude towards the whole thing will be a lot clearer.

Can't promise the sun will be brighter, can't promise a new boyfriend... I can say though that perpespctive about stuff turns a corner once we stop using.    It might just do you good to get your own new perspective about how to change EVERYTHING for the better.

I'm tired ... so for tonight I'm going to try to sleep only taking 1/2 of xanax instead of my .50 alloted to me each night;;

Tomorrow is another day;

Take care of you first, all the rest will eventually fall into place.

Gip
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Avatar universal
Wow, thanks for writing, I had no idea that my words were having any affect on anyone here. You really touched me. Thanks for the words of support!
Jennifer
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Avatar universal
All I can tell you is my experience. I was married to an alcoholic. I left him, but it was really lonely for quite a while. Even though I left him, I missed having him around the house. I hated being alone. Thought I was the only person in the world single, at home alone. It took a long time. I still was not comfortable with myself. I called my freinds constantly. I'm sure they cringed when I called. I got into another relationship after the divorce. I was head over heels in LOVE. I ended that one after about 2 years. I was crazy about him and his children. But, I found out that he was using cocaine (snorting). I had no clue before that, I had never been around a coke user. I could not go through another relationship with an addict. I spent another 2 years greiving for him. Horrible pain, missed him soooo much. I went to divorced and separated support group, mostly to fill a night of the week. This was a no dating allowed group, which was good. It took a few years. During that time I got really comfortable with myself. I realize that most couples don't have the fantasy I thought they had and wanted. Now I'm in a relationship for almost 7 years. The reality is that my boyfriend went to sleep at about 8pm. and I'm on the computer at 11:12 pm. I am away from home alot and so is he. We don't have the romantic fantasy that I envied when I saw a couple together when I was alone,they probably didn't either. We do however have a good solid relationship most of the time. But if for some reason this relationship doesn't work for us. I can tell you that I'd be OK alone. Yes, I would miss him terribly,but I've got the valuble lesson of loving myself and being comfortable with myself. So try to find out what you really like and nuture yourself. It does take alot of time. IT IS A GREAT FREEING FEELING TO BE ABLE TO BE CONTENT ALONE. Warning : no instant gratification. instant gratification doesn't work in any area that I know of, it does not have staying power. Remember there are lots and lots of single people,. You are not alone.
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Avatar universal
no problem, hey the truth does feel good sometimes(outside of taking pills) I always used to be the type of person that tried to make friends and was out-going and happy, today is the first day in a long time i have felt that way almost completely "normal" you were the first to write me and really make me feel welcomed here, so why not let ya know it, i have always been the one to really appreciate friendship (though since the whole pill thing, i've realized SOOO many people weren't my friends at all) Thank you, it makes me smile to know I made someones day today LOL did you read the pogo post? we can all get together and play sometime :) join in!!
Sincerely, strictly me
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Avatar universal
Hey hun;
I feel ya. But one thing I had to come to realize about my ex is that I was much better off without him. AS much as that hurt...It just had to be. Of course it was not I that broke it off, but after so long I was glad that he did. I know our situations are different hwoever you have to think about you right now. That is the main concern. WHo knows what may happen down the road, specially if he sees your clean. But you don't do this for him, you do this for you. And worry about only you for now sweety.

One day at a time.

Thinking of you..

Tracy
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Avatar universal
Thanks for the response. I guess it's harder because my feelings have been on hold for so long while I was medicated. I just can't seem to get over all the good time we had before I had surgery and he got tired me not getting any better. GOD, is this ever going to flippin end.! Sorry for ranting but I don't even have any friends anymore. It does feel good to get out but when I come home alone and see people together, that is the hardest.
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Avatar universal
Ohh I know that feeling all to well too hun. It is really hard. But you aren't alone really hun...we are all here for you. I know sometimes that just does not cut it and is not the same. But if you have to type every 5 minutes just to get it out, girl then you do that.

We are here for you!
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Avatar universal
Thanks for being here for me and it does make a difference. That is why I came here and vented. It was either this or run out and get some tequlia! ;)
Jennifer
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Avatar universal
One more thing, don't worry about no man right now, get back to doing yourself, before you bring someone back into your life that could potentionally make you run to pills! For the longest time that's why I was taking them, my boyfriend is just as bad as an addict as me if not worse but with video games, he ignores me all the time (XBOX 350 LIVE, errrr...hate that thing sometimes) and it hurt me really bad, the way he treated me had a tremendous effect on me taking pills (i know that i am grown and make my own decisions, but it took away the hurt from the neglection)Just my opinion, if i'm being to opinionated, let me know, don't want to upset anyone here, but you should really get back to truly loving your self before you go back to an ex, theres a reason he's an ex right LoL!!!! Tryin' 2 make ya smile:)
Peace.....strictly me
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