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I am a 40 year mom of 2. Happily married and I stay up at least a few nights a week doing coke alone. I usually do it and then lie there totally still on the couch and try to act like I'm sleeping. WTF? What am I doing? I'm doing at least an eight ball a week.how do I just break the habit of.calling "my friend"? I feel myself changing and I am really scared. I just can't tell my husband though. He has so much stress at work. I can't add this to him as well. No one knows I am doing this.uuugghhf
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1283286 tn?1312915566
Not too good..Years ago I was in a similar position with my "best friend",,Always there to perk me up when things were ...?  boring?..

Hard call on stopping the cravings. It takes a restructuring of one's lifestyle and finding good feelings naturally without that added boost and be happy with them..Busy things. things to keep the mind occupied in anything other than that escape we so called "used" as our safety net when life seemed to be lifeless around us..When in fact it wasn't lifeless or without warmth, we just didn't acknowledge to ourselve's it never went anywhere, was still there, and the drug led us to believe differently..

Find a counselor, addiction specialist, anybody you can talk to on a daily basis to help your reinforce your resolve to be free of it..Hardly anyone walks from that stuff without some sort of help..I can see you are ready, but are short on tools..Thats where a counselor or therapist familar in the addiction world comes in..They give you the tools and help you learn how to use them..Eventually, the use will be a distant memory as it is with me now, but it took a number of years of hard work before the mental part finally stopped...It did stop though..It does go away...Dav
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1563533 tn?1345369896
Be honest with your partner, if your bond is strong he can help give you the support you need.  It isnt easy to stop using on your own, and you already see yourself changing, the drug is changing you.  Dont let something like that take over, because you cant just use a few nights aweek, it will began to get more and more, because that is what coke does.  YOU KNOW THIS AND I KNOW THIS.  Get your support system together, have a different routine at night so your cravings wont be so strong, and first before any of it PRAY!  I feel for you, I know how this kind of life can slip into a all out disaster.  SLowly but surely you will start to loose control of yourself, real it back in before it is too late, and this time next year you'll no longer be a happily married woman with two kids.... U need to tell someone so you can have someone to go to to talk about this.  I think your husband needs to be on board with you.
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205111 tn?1224643354
i tried to hide my 8-ball a week habit from my husband but it became an 8-ball a day habit very quickly and even though he knew i was doing something i continued to lie about it until i had been up for 5 days straight and then i passed out and he found my stash which was laying right next to me on the bed...by this time i had taken out a $20,000 home equity loan and spent it all in less than 3 months on coke...you need to be honest and get help now or it will get to a point that you cannot recover from.  you have one thing going for you...you will not get physical withdrawal symptoms from coke, consider yourself lucky. i have been off coke for a couple years but am now coming off methadone and it ***** way worse
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