My brother is 22 (still living at home), former alcoholic, gambling addiction, used cocaine even after his girlfriend broke up with him because of it, used Oxycotton for almost a year until he OD'd with about 320mg in him, has been on Methadone for a year and is now at 100mg, and recently started on Lithium, clonazepam, Risperdal, and Adderall (not allowed to take Ritalin anymore, got caught snorting it on multiple occasions). His worst addiction is lying, no matter what situation, no matter how serious, he will lie to any extent. He even plead innocent in court (stole little keychains and stickers from a store), but his lawyer asked the judge to let him change his plea, and the lawyer basically told him he must be retarded if he doesn't plea "no contest".... He steals very frequently, random items from stores, money from my parents, anything he likes from my room, even my christmas money when I was 13.
I'm only 17, but being robbed by my 22 year old brother, the meds I have/had are:
On 5 occasions, he's broken into the safe I keep in my bedroom, and stole whatever meds I had at the time, over the course of about a year. He broke my first key-pad safe with a crowbar and took all the Ritalin and Klonopin I had... Then I got a keyed-entry safe, with only 1 key that I take with me when I leave the house (occasionally forget), and hide in very hard-to-find places when I'm asleep. Whenever I'm asleep or not home (and forget to take my key with me) he's searching my room from when I leave till when I get back... No joke. And he's found it several times, and cleaned me out each time. Just today when I was at school, he physically broke the lock on my safe, so now it opens without a key in it...
What aggravates me even more is that he lies, even after he's caught in the lie... 2 weeks ago he broke in and stole just about everything, and did the same today (because he knew I got all of my meds refilled this morning), but after threats from my parents, he gives back SOME of what he took, but I see no point in hassling him for the rest because he won't stop lying about it. And that's what he does every single time, just denies it, even after he's caught. And he uses such dumb alibis/excuses, I swear a 5 year old could cover his tracks better.
He is genetically my brother, but I honestly see him as a heartless *******. He often talks about how we don't "hang out" enough, and I just tell him "You really wonder why?". I'm guessing when he says that he's just high off the Klonopin, it does make you feel very talkative/outgoing.
But I really am just looking for advice I guess, or something... I have counseling, but he just tells me I "play victim too often", I get what he means but this isn't like that. Sometimes I try to feel sympathy for him, but later that day I just see things in my room missing, hell, I can't even leave out loose change, I have a double-shot glass in my safe where I keep loose change, no joke.
He went to rehab for the Oxycotton overdose, but refuses to go now, saying he's "not ready" but I don't see how he could be in any more of a need for it. I mean 5 years ago, he was my brother, but he's changed into something awful with no future in sight. He's never had a job, and doesn't go to the college classes OR counseling appointments that my parents pay for. And I don't think he's trying to kill himself, if he wanted to he could, he has several guns and theres tons of non-narcotic pills around the house. It just seems like he's trying to take enough to get as high as he was on oxycotton, but I don't know, I don't talk to him anymore because I really can't...
Another option I've taken into consideration is just to call the cops next time he steals my meds.... But I don't know if they will even arrest him because he's good at hiding things, and I don't know if that's a misdemeanor, felony, or would just be considered a domestic feud kind of thing...
Man it really sucks that you can't keep your meds somewhere thats not in your house. DO you have a car? Calling the police they probably wont do anything because he is allowed to be in the house so he is not tresspassing and even though you know he did it, it would be purely speculation to them.
I bet it would scare him to death though. I might try it once just so he thinks when he does that your calling the cops again. That may make him stop, I doubt it though. I feel bad for you. I wish you could hide them somewhere thats not in your room. Any ideas?
I've definitely thought about alternative places to hide them, but it would be pretty annoying to have to go dig them out of wherever everyday, twice a day... I mean we have a big house and theres tons of places to hide it in the garage, but I probably wouldn't feel like adventuring through my garage when I wake up, and again when I go to bed (usually pretty late)...
I am sorry you are going threw this, My first thought is what are your parents doing to protect you from this ,these are your meds I am sure you NEED them. Does he steal from them as well? Have you sat down with them and talked about what you can do? I would think this is stealing and you have the right to file a report if you would like ...If nothing else seems to be helping maybe you should .He has to learn there are consequences to taking things that do not belong to you ..PLus two or three of the drugs are controlled substances...... PlZ keep in touch and let us know what is happening.
You know what.... avisg is right. Duhhhh... stupid me. Some are controlled substances. I would call the police and report him stealing your controlled substances. See if that does not change anything. You could try hiding them behind the light switch plate but he may look there.
This behavior from a member of your own family is no longer acceptable, He will continue to do this as long as he knows there are no consequences for his actions. Have you told your M.D. that your brother continues to steal your medications which are controlled substances. Because you must run out early. Do you call the Dr. each time he pulls this stuff! You know your brother is suffering from a chronic treatable disease of the brain. But has anybody really tried to get this guy help for his disease. He doesn't do it because he hates you or thinks you are weak. He is just sick and needs help. I suppose he does not have any health insurance. Has he tried to get on SSI which would qualify him for medicaid on most states, At which time he could get himself some much needed help before he goes to bed one night and does not get up ever again.
Part of the blame is your parents part for them not putting their foot down and telling where it is he is living. And if he wants to continue to live there he will have to make some serious changes, otherwise for the sake of sanity he will be asked to leave. As they cannot put up with his lies and stealing from his loved ones again and again. With little remorse for what he has done, I'm sure if the shoe were on the other foot and it was you stealing from him that you would never hear the end of it?
They should throw him out even if it is only for a couple of days he may change his actions real quick and ask for the help he needs. He suffers from poly-substance abuse which means he will take whatever it is in an attempt to get high!
The other thing that concerns me is the fact that you are on an amphetamines as well as a benzo and a sleeping medication. This is not your every day mixture of medications and have serious interactions as I just ran them through the drug interaction checker. I can not believe all these meds are prescribed by the same M.D., it just does not make sense unless you suffer from narcolepsy, It is obvious that you have a genetic link to substance abuse. What about the parents any drinking involved in the past or even now? But if you do not make some serious life style Changes I see you headed down the same road your brother is traveling today.
If your parents will not make an attempt at tough love with your brother perhaps the best thing you could do for yourself and your brother would be move out for a short time, This would take away one of his connections and may give your parents the push they need to finally do something about your brother, It could be getting him on a suboxone treatment program, or an inpatient detox or your parents could threaten to have him held for observation for 72 hours under the Baker Act, if he shows any sign of mental illness. This may scare him into realizing that he needs professional help and will do what ever it takes to save his relationship with the people that truly care about him, but are at the end of their rope, That they love him but do not know how to help him. Therefore they are going to Baker Act, him because at this point they do not know how to help him. They can no longer live in a fantasy world pretending everything is going to work out. Because it is not. Either your brother is going to lose it completely and pull a nutty on you or your parents or everyone in the house . Or he may end up being arrested and then incarcerated. Let me ask you this, what do you want to happen to your Brother? Does he hold down a job? Best of Luck you will need it!------------------NOAH
Well first things first, as I know it is a very important matter... No, neither of my parents had any bad habits, and never drank any form of alcohol just to get drunk... They're both religious with extremely high morals, so as you can imagine, my brother's situation is very disturbing, even though it is much more common then they think. But as I was saying, no alcoholism, no cigarette smoking, no addictions whatsoever. And from what I've been told, my mom never used any drugs in her life and my dad smoked pot a couple of times when he was in college, but I do mean a couple, as in maybe 2 or 3 times.
As for my meds, I wasn't aware of a possible interaction, I haven't noticed anything out of the ordinary... I take the Adderall when I wake up, or most of the time at about noon. The clonazepam is prescribed to be taken twice a day, but I don't always need 2 a day since my anxiety is specifically social anxiety, in other words, I take it before going to school, but after that if I'm just gonna stay home and do homework then I don't really need it. I've discussed that with my doctor and she said its perfectly fine and the less I take it, the less likely I am to build a tolerance. As for the Ambien, I take that around midnight or later, so mostly everything has worn off by then. Hah, its actually pretty unusual that I'm even prescribed a benzo considering I'm in the age group thats most likely to abuse it.
But on that note, no, I don't abuse my meds although I easily could get high off any of them, or even sell them. It makes perfect sense to me, but from a 3rd party perspective, this may seem weird, but I honestly don't think I'm capable of becoming addicted to anything. And the reason is simply because of my brother, I look at what he's become, and I tell myself that I would probably follow the same path if I start using any drug on a regular basis. Pot is fun and all, but I really only use it when I'm with friends... And about half the time that my friends wanna get high, I just tell them I don't want to. And I've used hard drugs also... Cocaine once, Vicodin/Percocet a couple times, some random benzos and muscle relaxants, and heroin twice (once was because I broke my wrist and it hurt ALOT). But with all those I keep the same mentality.
Okay so onto the subject of my brother.... Our whole family is like 99% covered by insurance, my dad has a VERY well paying job and tons of benefits. I probably wouldn't be on meds if we had to pay for them out-of-pocket... Our average co-pay on generic prescriptions is about 50 cents. I have told my doctor about a couple of the times he's stolen my meds, and it honestly isn't my fault... I mean a hefty safe with an 9 pin lock (impossible for a non-professional to pick that) is definitely proof that I'm doing all I can to prevent it. She has authorized me to get refills a few weeks ahead of time (pharmacy wont refill until something like 28 days after prescription was picked up, assuming it's a 1 month supply) because my brother was also a patient of hers for a few months until he stopped going.
Well my parents are also getting a bit tired of the same old BS, and they have been getting a little more serious. My dad is pretty pissed about it all, he makes roughly $140,000 a year, but because of my brother's constant f*ck-ups, we have very limited disposable income. Things like posting bail, getting his car out of the impound lot, paying for speeding tickets, paying for car repair, hiring lawyers, paying his ridiculous car insurance bill (he's been in tons of accidents, and the cops don't realize it, but most of those times he's high on something), and even once they had to pay $8000 to a bookie to basically save my brother's ***. He also tried faking that gambling-bookie thing once, and my parents gave him $4000 cash (he said the "bookie" wanted cash, and that only he could come)... later that night he OD'd on Oxycotton, had a wad of cash and about $500 worth of OC's. And no, he's never held a job, except at a grocery store for 2 weeks until they told him they needed a urine sample, and he just quit.
I try to talk to my parents sometimes about it, and they agree that this probably will never end if they don't take some kind of action, but they are very nice and loving parents so they sometimes give my brother the benefit of the doubt. But I mean he's 22, I know some of his friends have apartments, so kicking him out for a few days won't do too much. But I'm not sure who I or my parents can talk to about this, no local psychiatrist/therapist is going to know what to do. I think they need a real professional who's had a case like this before, and knows exactly how to handle it. Most doctors just keep throwing him on/off different meds.
-- Just a tidbit, but when my brother was checked into the hospital last week for passing out and being unconscious for a while, they ran a blood test and he had a lethal dose of methadone in his bloodstream... He takes 100mg/day (now cut to 50mg) of methadone, and apparently that much couldn't be absorbed at once, so part of it would just linger in his system, and everyday it would keep building up more and more. He also drinks occasionally, which is 110% retarded since his liver is already working overtime to handle the methadone....
What that really indicates is the fact that his liver could not process the Methadone as it would have been broken down by a normal liver, If I were to guess I'd say your brother has some type of liver disease. Has he been checked for hepatitis C as this is a symptom. Was he tested for hepatitis? It's a good thing that your parents make a good income, Because if I were you I would try and get into a University somewhere out of state. I am assuming that you are still in High School. Do you have the grades to get into a good College out of state somewhere, The other option would be for your parents to get him into an inpatient detox somewhere, or throw him out and have the locks changed until his friends get sick of him and they will trust me. I'm sorry to say I don't believe it when he told the er all he took that day was his usual dose. People at the methadone clinic that get take outs and they sell one or two. 1 take out off 100mg goes for about $40-$50 per bottle. If the College thing is not an option and your parents won't have him baker acted for 72 hours. Then as a last resort have a floor safe installed, there's no way he could get into that, or how about a dead bolt lock on your bedroom door. Have your parents tell him he even tries to break into the room. They will have no choice but to call the law. You could also hide a video camera in your room where he does not notice it and you can catch him in the act and turn to tape over to the authorities, I would just tell him that as he won't learn any kind of drug rehab in jail. Unless part of his probation required clean urine's. One dirty as he goes to jail. Or the old family intervention were everyone sits down and tell him what his options are. If he does not agree tell him to move along as he is driving you all to the point of insanity-------------------------NOAH
Um I'm not exactly sure about hep-c, I doubt he's had that tested, but the doc at the ICU said it was fairly common with methadone....
Yeah I asked for a deadbolt about 4 months ago and still nothing, I don't know what bit I'd have to use to bore a hole that big through my door, so doing it myself isn't really an option, but that would save me so much time/effort if I had one.
And yeah I'm in high school, junior year, but I definitely plan on going to college after I graduate.... Where I go depends on what I decide I want to do, at this point I'm not quite sure, obviously I have some ideas but I haven't narrowed it down to 1 yet. And my grades are fine, it does show on my transcript that I didn't complete 2nd semester sophomore year but there were like 3 doctors that wrote to my counselor explaining that I had a legitimate medical reason (sleep apnea), so the counselor withdrew me from my classes and they didn't count against my GPA... My test scores are incredible though, those will get me anywhere
I dont have much to add that hasnt already been said..
I just wanted to say after reading your posts you seem Extremely smart with an amazing head on your shoulders!! Good luck to you with your brother .. You seem like you already know what really needs to happen.
Take care of you! You are well beyond your years already! You have a bright future!!
I wanted to add one thing I forgot. If you bro gets methadone from a clinic they usually do a hep test along with others.. I wouldnt just assume he has some type of desease......That's just an added stress I dont think you need right now!
sorry to hear to hear about what your brother is doing to you, but I have to ask, what is such a inyelligent 17 year old doing taking all these drugs for to begin with??? And why is your parents letting the doctors write you all these precriptions for?????? Please help me understand. Your brother would notbe stealing anything if you yourself was not given all these drugs. Dont get me wrong,certain drugs are helping thousands of people, but sometimes we as humans just dont need alot ot this junk. Its all about money my friend.
Well the ambien is for sleep, if I don't take it I wake up alot and have very poor quality sleep, I've had 2 sleep studies and both showed the same thing.
I might be able to go without Adderall, it would be kinda hard but its possible... I just can't concentrate very well in school, with the Adderall I can get my work done alot faster...
I don't take the clonazepam everyday, but if I'm going somewhere that I might have bad anxiety I do take one... I got started on it because I used to have anxiety attacks alot, I'm still not exactly sure what triggers it though.
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