CAN YOU EVER APPRECIATE LIFE AGAIN?

[EnigmaticBelle]

HAS ANYONE KEPT 'CLEAN' LONG ENOUGH, SO THAT ALL THE FATIGUE, DEPRESSION, AND SUICIDAL IDEAS WAS WORTH THE WAIT? IS THERE HOPE? I JUST CANNOT SEE IT FROM HERE. {4-YR ADDERALL ADDICT}.

[hollydolly4485]

Clean 9 months after a 4 year fight of opiate addiction. The first 4 months was a roller coaster ride from hell. I went on a suboxone program and it saved my life. I never thought I was going to feel normal again. Today I have so much energy I am out lasting my three year old. I actually laugh. Like really laugh. I never thought I was going to laugh again. Listen, there will be days where you just want to give up were you feel like you can't take any of it anymore, but, the longer you go on the less that those days come along and the more better ones do.

P.S. It's easy to quit the ****, it's hard to stay quit, but you can  do it.

[10356]

Hello EnigmaticBelle.. with speed it is a different ball game.. I was slamming crank for a few years and running on high speed for long periods of time... then when I would come down life was boring black and white sort of.. depression would set in and I had No idea what to do with myself.. this was many years ago but I still remember.. I went on to become addicted to outer drugs after crank.. you can not wait around to feel better.. You have to force yourself to get out of the house.. into nature the gym school.. anything that takes you out of yourself.. also you need to exercise.. again forcing yourself. it gets easier after time :) your brain has been getting massive doses of feel good endorphin from a outside source.. now it is trying to produce them on it's own.. exercising will speed up this process. also eating No fast food you have depleted your body by not eating regularly.. fresh fruit veggies.. you may also want to check out the amino acid protocol bottom right of this page.. beneficial for energy sleep and just all around feel good.. it would not hurt to check into a meeting like aa na our speaking with your Dr. and lastly.. Yes there is Hope.. before crank I was a Heroin addict after that alcohol them moved on to prescription drugs... this has been over 4 decades.. I have been clean a lil over a year and a half.. I can say my life is good :) I'm happy.. I'm comfortable in my own skin.. it took a lot.. counseling for my past.. acceptance of my wrongs and letting go of a lot of useless guilt.. It is possible for anyone of use if we take the steps to accomplish it.. so in a nut shell. yes there is hope.. there is joy... through acceptance there is peace.. keep reaching out for support as we all need it.. lesa

[tellit2her]

I know that for once that I had patience during my recovery to actually work at staying honestly abstinent for 5 months and yes it does have some great benefits. I cannot explain the profound freedom that I feel deep inside of me to know that I do not have to put any substance down my throat just to make it throughout the day. I find that its great just to take a good dose of patience and tolerance during the wee months of recovery. We still have our days and just short bouts of wanting to use, but they go away so fast now. I am understanding more and more of myself as I walk slowly and tread softly in recovery. I have the desire and I want it to work for me and for those that I love so dearly. But I have to practice my new life each and every day by appreciating it and the desire to stay clean. New friends, new playgrounds, new approaches, understanding, love and kindness come into place slowly but surely. Recovery will come and I was one of those who thought that it would never come into place because I wanted it right then and now, but it does happen and it can. God bless you all, mike in nc

[goodbyemethadone]

YES!!! I had been clean for a little over two years from A LOT of Oxycontin and I can tell you that those two years were the BEST time of my life!!!!!!!!! PLEASE hang in there and you will see!!!!!

[chemister]

I was clean aboat 5 years, never had it better, now I am Back to benzo and methadone. I start to tapering now....... :)

[mikilynn]

krissy,
I feel your pain. I am an addict too and for more times than I like to admit. It's so very hard. I am currently withdrawing from subs. It's as hard as the opiates! I thought I had it under control cuz I was learning how by drs and counselors...when I just figured it out...they wanted me to stay on those things since they get paid very well to keep me on them. I wish for the easy path but there is not one out there. I am alone too. My husband. Well, he doesn't fully understand the withdraw issues. I just say I am sick. But I have to he normal since I have 2 kids to watch and take full care of everyday. I am so sick of being sick. I have been trying to get something to help me, but I know where that leads too. So I know what its like I can't seem to see the light yet. I wish I could take it all away for you and I both. Sorry that I don't have all answers. Just wanted you to know your not alone. Mikilynn

[krissy30]

I know exactly how you feel, I have had a severe opiate addiction (Heroin, Methadone, Pharmaceuticals) for about 14 years.  Almost half of my life.....Talk about a brain's chemistry being out of whack!!!  I don't know what it is like to be sober, I don't know what is normal for me any more.....And the worst thing is I don't ever want to go back to the Heroin addiction but I feel (more often than not) that I just don't want to live without opiates!  I know that sounds terrible....I can't live with them, but I don't want to live without them....My brain is sooooo screwed up now, that I don't think the chemicals are ever going to be right again!  I think I have some permanent damage to my psych now.  I don't miss the high per say, but I just want to feel normal....I struggle with this everyday....And if I didn't move out of state with my family (yes back with mom and dad at 30-talk about sucky) I would still be getting high to attain normalcy.  I try to discourage people all the time from using opiates of any kind....They are just too addictive.

[broknbck]

hey Rich i know what you are talking about. i feel that it has made me a better person and stronger and wiser and everything. i am clean for a couple years and doing great.

[backtomyselfoneday]

Ugh. I am really trying to stay off of the pain pills. I have been addicted o them for years and its gotten me into some real trouble in my life. I am past the physical withdrawals now, but I'm only about 4 days or so without them. My doctor put me on Paxil because I was hoping to get off the pain pills and I knew how depressed I get when I don't have pills. I know I shouldn't do this alone, but I kinda have to. My question is, will these awful feelings of fatigue and depression ever go away? Will I start to feel like myself again in time? Anything I can do to speed it up or help?! Please, I need some advice! Thanks, Meg

[Rich99]

""""""" I'm very grateful to have become a drug addict.""""""

I saw that comment and I know it was made in jest (and I understand the context it was written in) BUT no one should ever,  even for a moment,  feel this way.    The world of a drug addict is pure hell and can have a terrible outcome.    

[merrymaria]

oh yes...life beyond is so right...no pressures...no worries...just waking up everyday without a crutch living life like life should be lived....it takes some time but so worth it...as kajama said...hang in there...it s going to happen...maria

[kajama]

I know with me it took a few months before I really felt like I can do this. Now I am almost 10mth clean and feel like I have a whole new like to look forward too. Just be patience it will happen

[avisg]

There sure is I am far happier now that i EVER was using.as everyone has said recoverycare plays a big roll in it because exspecially when you first get clean and your still dealing with the mental and physcal hardship is think it is almost impossable to make it threw without the help of recovery care. When addicts dont get it they tend to relapse and trust me you only want to do it once. It took 2 times for me first time no recoverycare.  Second recoverycare now I have over 2 and a half years .You can do it too !!!!

[EnigmaticBelle]

Wow, these comments are REALLY helpful. I see that aftercare is a must. I've been addicted (well, psychologically and mentally) to adderall for about 3 or 4 years and the last I had was about 5 days ago. And they were binges--about 6 day binges out of every thirty days. I do have easy access, and like all of you know, is a major hindrance to recovery. I am sick and tired of adderall, but we know that we can still give our drug the control despite the negative consequences. I've never gotten to this particular point, where just the thought of the drug makes me sick. I want a real life. Thanks again for your input.

[AKAmildred]

Yes, life can be good!  just like others have said it just takes time. I was clean for along time and life really took on a normal routine and everything was great.
but work out why you resort to drugs . for me I used drugs to avoid my problems so when life was troublesome and I got tired of dealig with the issues, what did I do? went back to the needle and the spoon, After 10 yrs of being clean ! I so everyone take heed... Never forget, and don't take your sobriety for granted. We are addicts for life.

but yes Life will be good for you and you will feel so proud of yourself and so strong that you will feel like you can deal with anything!
good luck

[beatingthis]

I have. A lot of people on here have done it. The best advise I can give you is stay calm and
1 day you will be through all of it.

Aftercare is really important in this.

Terry

[CATUF]

Yes. In fact, most addicts that make it into sustained recovery find that they appreciate and enjoy life more than ever before. Not just more than when they were in active addiction, but more than EVER before.

I know that recovery brought me into a world, filled with wonderful people, that I never knew existed. At this point, having made it to the other side, I'm very grateful to have become a drug addict. If I hadn't, I would have missed all this.

CATUF

[Rich99]

Yes I have and yes you will.    I was addicted to benzos and feel so much better after weeks away from them.     Your drug is of a different class so I can't speak on that.   But these meds take over some of your own body's chemistry.     When your brain senses that your body has enough of certain chemicals,  the meds,   it shuts down the production of its own chemicals.    Withdrawl means you are leaving behind the addicting meds but it takes the brain a while to once again start producing its own chemicals.    The time inbetween can be an awful rough time but you can ride it out with the proper help from your doctor.    I wish you best of luck.

[cleanmom]

Where are you at in your addiction or recovery?

It takes some time. Time is what will really heal this. I know that is not what you want to hear, i didn't either. But it is the truth.

The best thing you can do for yourself to speed up your recovery is to get all the outside support you can. This is almost impossible to do alone. Do you see a counselor? Go to meetings? Check them out. It helps tremendously. If you have these things in place for yourself you can really work on it and get to the bottom of your addiction. The sooner you do this the sooner your healing process will truly begin and the sooner you will feel better.

Keep posting. We are here for you...........


Jacky

[addicted32]

i can't stay clean enough to know