CHANCES OF RELAPSE

[passenbyhubby]

I usually go by passenby but I'm away now for my CT trip.I'm on my 5th day. Everything is about like everyone said it would be but less terrifying than what I imagined.I started using vicodins 19mos ago after my son died. He was 25 and it was a shock and a pain I had never felt before. I had vicodins for headache for years never did I abuse them. I used them for a headaches and found they help numb the pain in my heart. my dose climb to 6to8 a day.I thought it was time to stop only to find out I couldn't, I was hooked. My questions. Am I just has likely to have a relapse as anyone that has struggle with this for many years? Will I never be able to take vicodin again for what it was prescribed for? My depression is bad It has always been.Have I delayed my grieving? The last couple of days I have strongly remember why it all began? I need to know about my chance of relapse under these circumstances.

[RCG]

I am very sorry to hear about your son dying, Vicodin is something that helps to numb the pain and is very easy to turn to! I am very proud of your strength, it seems you have gone through quite a bit and you are fully aware of what needs to be done to stay healthy. I dont know if you believe in heaven but just keep in mind that your son is watching you and he is supporting everything you are going through right now. He is rooting for you just like we all are here! Good luck and you will be in my prayers!

[rodewc]

Scary part is a (CHANCE OF) relapse is always lurking, but friends, lit, humor and willpower help, some helped me a little, some a lot.

I see from reading  another addiction board, that you (DANCIN-JUDY) received, enjoyed, have red/ and began a re-ead, after receiving free from me, "A Million Litttle Pieces," by Frey.

I am sorry you neglected to let me know you received the book. That was all I had asked you do, confirm your receipt of Frey's biography. I took time and $ from mu purse, specifically for you. Hope all else is well and on the up and up.

rwc~

[rodewc]

I read it thrice, rwc~

[NEW ORLEANS LADY]

I just wanted to check in a see how everyone is doing and I need to VENT--The "Beast" (part of my brain trying to lead me back to hydro-hell) has been rearing its ugly head for the past few days.  It's been 25 days and for some reason the "cravings" are especially tough this time-So far with the help of Rational Recovery and this board I have managed to keep the "Beast" at bay. My right arm and neck pain (I had an Anterior Cervical Fusion several years ago) has come back with a vengance and my stomach is messed up because of all of the Advil I'm taking.  I know this is no excuse to try and get a refill of the hydrocodone--The "Beast" keeps whispering in my ear---"All of your discomfort can disappear with just one little hydro--No one will know"----Wait a minute I'll KNOW--Take Care Everyone--Keep up the fight--Peace/Prayers N.O. Lady AKA Mystere

Anne

[Hopefulone]

Way to go Anne...day 25 is the day my cravings started after I last had gotten clean. I gave in at day 30, telling myself "just this once for the pain"....then it only took a few months for my abuse to be double what it used to be.

You are three weeks clean, you are on the other side! I'm proud (and envious) of you, so hang in there and keep the beast at bay.

Karen

[peaz]

Hi guys-- I am not quite halfway thru the Frey book and it is AWESOME!   His description is so stark and potent: I just cannot imagine such an experience.  How did he ever survive???!!
   Anne, honey--you recognize those "false voices", so  give 'em the gate and  quit entertaining them in your mind...Is the IBU working except for the stomach ****? I mean, does it take care of the pain?  What has your doc suggested that would be non-narcotic?  Anything?
    Try to re-focus and get your determination front and center again, because it soulnds like you're struggling a bit....Don't get scared--get MAD!! Look at that little angel your husband (does HE have a name, too???LOL)  gave you and think of how proud you have made him and how much you want to do the right thing  for the two of you and your lives together.  The damn cravings will pass and if you can wait it out just a BIT more--you will be on a more even keel and it will be a little easier. So--HANG IN THERE>  DON'T USE>>>> Write me if you want--I am a good venting apparatus......LOL take care, sweets--Love, Peazy

[Kritty]

Hi everyone-
    
     I have not posted on this forum in quite a few months. I went to rehab in January and I am 5 months clean from a 20 a day lortab addiction. I go to NA meetings and I have a sponsor but something happened today. The first time in 5 months I had severe pain and I took a lortab and absolutely hated every minute. I cannot believe the amount of pills I use to take. I have been exercising, eating right, acupuncture, massage....the whole nine yards and after I did this today to relieve the pain I was upset and couldn't wait for the **** to get out of my system. Does this mean I relapsed? I went to a meeting tonight and didn't share about what I did. I know because I know me that I will never touch that **** again. I have had the best 5 months and I think i ruined my clean time. I need advice about this. Please give your opinions. Thank you

[passenbyhubby]

I wished I could answer that question thats kind of why I posted this question about relapse so some of us greenhorns could understand just what relapse is but all the doc said was I answered my own question so then I would say no you didn't relapse you used it for what it was for and you have no intentions of trying that again so if I'm answering my own questions here then let me give you what I think .You haven't relapse pass it off for a try for the right reasons. You didn't like it so don't beat yourself up about and consider your clean time for what it is and I say CONGRATULAIONS you've done well.passenby

[peaz]

In my opinion, NO you did not relapse.  Lortab is intended to relieve pain. You had pain; you tried to get rid of it.  If you had taken a handful w/ no regard to how much or lost sight of just WHY you were taking it, then it would be different.
   Look: you have been clean for FIVE months!!  That is AWESOME!!! One stinkin' pill that's taken for pain DOES NOT preclude your time of sobriety and DON'T you let any of the NA people tell you differently. You are DOING GREAT!!!  You still have your five months (but may I suggest that you quit counting??  Really--what does it matter?? The important thing is that you're sober TODAY. So many get caught up in that fricken" number "and forget what's actually important)  Anyway---it's good to have you back and keep up the good work!!!  Peazy

[passenbyhubby]

PEAZ YOU ARE JUST TO COOL.

[passenbyhubby]

Thank you for your condolences and prayers. You ask me how I felt about heaven. well normally I wouldn't post this story I don't think to many people like you talking about GOD but since I posted this question I think I'll tell it.I almost lost Jeremy about three times before this. Once he was beaten so badly and left in the snow to die but someone he knew found him and brought him home to me.another time he was drunk and he plowed in to the back of a car going about 45mpr. he had passed out at the wheel. That time they flew him by helocopper to a near by hospital.Then right after I had surgery on my shoulder about the 1st of Aug he had taken so much drugs he was found on the side of a highway.Jeremy was raised in church and to believe in the love of GOD but at this time he wasn't sure anymore he had tried and tried to stop the drugs,vicodin was his DOC and he just couldn't stop this I didn't understand I thought if you put your mind to it you could do anything.I left the next day with my mother just to get away from all the trouble and my shoulder was giving me fits. It was his 25th birthday the first time in his life I had never been with him on that day. Needless to say he was upset and so was I. I prayed for him that day like I had never prayed before and I told God that day if he would just give my son a chance to get things straight with him and believe again and then if he wanted to take I would make myself live with it and be thankful he made his peace.well three weeks later another incident with drugs and this time he came to me crying saying he needed help we had a long talk and he went into rehab he was happier than I had ever heard him when he got out all my kids were together for one of the childrens birthday he had ask for forgiviness from them for all he had put all of us through and he got it from everyone but my youngest son with whom he was the closest. He had pushed him away and told him to stay away from him.my son said thats okay bro I understand, see he had stolen from him and the rest of us to get his vikes. He had been to church that day and told me everything was ok now between him and God.The following week he got a tooth ache his face was swollen and he was in pain the dentist said he couldn't see him for 9 days but gave him 60 vicodins for the pain. I seen him on Sat I could tell he was high and I started to cry he said mom don't worry when I get in to the dentist I swear this will be the last time I ask him if he was going to church in the morning and he said yes. I told him to be ready by 9:30 he hug me, said I love you and I'll be ready. I said goodbye and please slack off the pills.The next morning I woke up late which I never do and my huband said just finish breakfast I'll go get Jeremy.Five mins. later I sat in a kitchen chair and totally Zoned my daughter ask what was wrong I said he's went up to get Jeremy and no telling what he is going to find and she said mom why do you say that he's doing so good?I stayed in that seat without a word until my mother walked in to my kitchen took one look at me and said you already know don't you? my Jeremy was gone and God had given him that chance.So do I believe in heaven? YOU BET I DO. Do I believe my son is looking down at me with love? YES SIR I DO. Am I ashamed? YES I am but he understands. He's wore these shoes before.

[passenbyhubby]

Thank you for your condolences and prayers. You ask me how I felt about heaven. well normally I wouldn't post this story I don't think to many people like you talking about GOD but since I posted this question I think I'll tell it.I almost lost Jeremy about three times before this. Once he was beaten so badly and left in the snow to die but someone he knew found him and brought him home to me.another time he was drunk and he plowed in to the back of a car going about 45mpr. he had passed out at the wheel. That time they flew him by helocopper to a near by hospital.Then right after I had surgery on my shoulder about the 1st of Aug he had taken so much drugs he was found on the side of a highway.Jeremy was raised in church and to believe in the love of GOD but at this time he wasn't sure anymore he had tried and tried to stop the drugs,vicodin was his DOC and he just couldn't stop this I didn't understand I thought if you put your mind to it you could do anything.I left the next day with my mother just to get away from all the trouble and my shoulder was giving me fits. It was his 25th birthday the first time in his life I had never been with him on that day. Needless to say he was upset and so was I. I prayed for him that day like I had never prayed before and I told God that day if he would just give my son a chance to get things straight with him and believe again and then if he wanted to take I would make myself live with it and be thankful he made his peace.well three weeks later another incident with drugs and this time he came to me crying saying he needed help we had a long talk and he went into rehab he was happier than I had ever heard him when he got out all my kids were together for one of the childrens birthday he had ask for forgiviness from them for all he had put all of us through and he got it from everyone but my youngest son with whom he was the closest. He had pushed him away and told him to stay away from him.my son said thats okay bro I understand, see he had stolen from him and the rest of us to get his vikes. He had been to church that day and told me everything was ok now between him and God.The following week he got a tooth ache his face was swollen and he was in pain the dentist said he couldn't see him for 9 days but gave him 60 vicodins for the pain. I seen him on Sat I could tell he was high and I started to cry he said mom don't worry when I get in to the dentist I swear this will be the last time I ask him if he was going to church in the morning and he said yes. I told him to be ready by 9:30 he hug me, said I love you and I'll be ready. I said goodbye and please slack off the pills.The next morning I woke up late which I never do and my huband said just finish breakfast I'll go get Jeremy.Five mins. later I sat in a kitchen chair and totally Zoned my daughter ask what was wrong I said he's went up to get Jeremy and no telling what he is going to find and she said mom why do you say that he's doing so good?I stayed in that seat without a word until my mother walked in to my kitchen took one look at me and said you already know don't you? my Jeremy was gone and God had given him that chance.So do I believe in heaven? YOU BET I DO. Do I believe my son is looking down at me with love? YES SIR I DO. Am I ashamed? YES I am but he understands. He's wore these shoes before.

[passenbyhubby]

So sorry didn't mean to post twice it was bad enough I used that much space to begin with

[mrmichael67]

Actually, everyone can get takehomes.

[mrmichael67]

I am the only one?  Well, you must not be looking in the right place.  Also, I take it for a different reason than a lot do.

[mrmichael67]

Actually, myself included, there are two here.

[rodewc]

Glad you are enjoying the book. I am sorry Fyah, DANCIN' didn't let me know the book had been received. I only had a quick look-see, due to time constraints, at the posts today (this thread only) and noticed one that seems hard-core sad. You can do it! Recover.. tho' I must be honest and say that I have had more than passing thoughts of using again, it doesnt really seem to matter what I use. I'd even take Xanax or pot to satisfy the cravings.. Got get off that thought train and go for a run with the mutt, DDTD, before it gets too buggy and muggy.

rwc~

[mrmichael67]

Of course, their are cons to mmt.  I don't like going to the clinic every day.  Who the hell would?  I just don't like when non-truths and general, sweeping statments are made.  Generally, for every 90 days clean urines, you get a take home.  If you were to go to www.atwatchdog.org, you would find more who have a positive opinion of mmt.  We were just discussing addiction vs physical dependence, so I don't know why we have to be back on this.  Due to myths and flat out false statements, many are needlessly scared away from a treatment that could save their lives.  That goes for addict and pain patient.  As far as the addict goes, I firmly believe all attempts should be made to get clean first.  MMT is the final option, in my opinion.  And, it certainly isn't something one should blindly go into in haste.  It isn't the nightmare a lot of people make it out to be, though.  But, I don't think mmt is wonderful or anything like that.  I think people should be informed, that's all.

[AmberHunter]

i read your story about your son. i don't ususally read something that has alot of "god talk" in it but i decided to read yours...

if there is a heaven then that is where he is... i believe he made his peace. and that is what counts.

and for the girl who took one lortab for pain, you know deep down in your heart of hearts whether you took to for pain or to get high. it gets very confusing for us sometimes, taking medication for pain or drugs to get high because our bodies don't know WHY we are taking them, it just knows that we ARE taking them...

i recently had to take lortab for pain and i am ok with it! i know why i took it so i am comfortable with that decision. but i am not going to NA anymore so i am not as hung up on "losing my clean time" and thank god/dess for that. i know i will have five months off of narcotics on the 24th and i am grateful for that period of time clean but i am not real hung up thinking "oh goody, i can go get my six month chip next month" and don't get me wrong, i did my time in NA, i aquired 8 years clean and sober in NA, and i learned SO SO much from the fellowship. i just disagree with some aspects of the fellowship so i have taken the good with me and am leaving the rest behind. one of the things i am leaving behind is that ongoing quest for more clean time! how many days, how many weeks, how many months... who cares? each and every day is a gift, that is the way i look at it...

everybody have a great weekend!!!

amber

[peaz]

Dear One:  Your post was gut-wrenching.  Now I realize that all my gripes, all my problems, all my crises are absolute **** and I need to grow the **** up.  How you have endured and over-come such heart ache is a testimonial to your inner strength and fortitude. You are amazing, and I hope you can someday grow to rely on that fact; rely on those very things to help you get a grip on your addiction.  
    You are a survivor, and a wonderful, loving mother. Your son IS seeing you with nothing but love  and devotion in his heart.  You have NOTHING to be ashamed about. Hold your head high, Missy.  Love, Peazy

[theGolden1]

Hey Lady .... I know what you mean about the "whispers" I have stashed a few vikes from my husbands script and although I haven't taken them .... pain would be a legitimate excuse. Try extra strength tylenol instead of the IBprofen. I screwed up my gut using that stuff. It will do more than you think .... mixes with everything. Moist heat or heating pad ... just baby yourself for a day or two and it will pass .... pain is what got most of us here, so we need "other ways" of coping ... good luck, Goldie

[passenbyhubby]

Thank you for taking the time to read my story as I said I normally wouldn't have done that but last night I felt like I just needed to put it in print. I'm doing great with my CT and we are heading home tonight. AMBER you finally answered my guestions about relapse.I needed that.Peaz as always you have the sweetest things to say and I thank you ,you give me comfortand strength.

[passenbyhubby]

One more thing I wanted to say about your post. You refered to your problems as being **** compared to mine. I wished my problems could ease yours but like I posted before no one as the market on problems,depression or pain. Each and everyone of you have your on depression and problems that are just as real and as painful as mine so don't put yourself down for what you feel.I believe in you and you will deal with it and I will pray.






                                passenby

[mystere]

Good afternoon my Guardian Angel!--And I do mean I have a Guardian Angel looking out for me--As you know I have been on the verge of relapse--The "Beast" has not given me one minutes peace today--soooo I called the pharmacist (I thought for sure I had a refill on one of my Hydrocodone Rx's) and GUESS WHAT--The refills had been cancelled--I guess my husband didn't want to take any chances after my last escapade--At first I was angry but now I am sooo relieved!--Now that I have absolutely no access to any pills I can Now focus on my recovery--I wasted a beautiful day obsessing about that damn refill--Go Figure--I guess that's why they call it addiction--Thanks again Peazy for all of your love and support---26 days and now really standing strong! Take care Hon--Peace/Prayers-Mystere/AKA N.O. Lady

Anne

[gracie97]

Everybody, Congrats on TODAY! Damn, the posts out here seem so meaningful and relative. You guys are absolutely the BEST! To each and everyone of you, I want to say "THANK YOU".
Anne, I know "someone" is on your side! Our "script filler" just called, and I DID NOT EVEN recognize the voice on the ANSWERING machine, yeah, we did not PICK UP, nor will I!

I do believe, today is a gift, that is why it is called "the present"......Just a great tab free day!

[dancinginthedark]

Just noticed your recent posts about Frey's terrific book.

First off, I'd like to say how very grateful I am that you LOANED me your copy.  You wrote here that I'd rec'd it FREE, which comes across as you bought me a copy  well, yes, I expect that was true but here, several x, you offered to send it to me as you were done with it.  Here, as well as to you in person, I offered to mail it back to you as I was very grateful for your loaning it to me.  But you *did* offer to send it to me, on this very brd. You did not buy me one & send it. We were all talking about the book club & this book in particular & I said it was not yet available in Cda & I didn't have the funding to buy it on US sites at the moment.  That's when you very kindly offered to send me your copy that you insisted you were quite finished with & didn't want back because you had too much mess to sort through. However, I insisted I would indeed send it back.

Could you please tell me where you asked for confirmation of receipt?  I don't have it in my records & as I recall, there was a most untoward exchange btwn us going on at the time I rec'd it & I felt any contact btwn us was most inappropriate.  And for the record & in lieu of all you said, pertaining not wanting it back & what a heathen wench I was:  Why would you have cared if I had rec'd it?  If you say you asked for confirmation, I'll take your word for it if you can tell me where you asked for this & if I am wrong, I WILL apologize for that on this & any other brd.  In the early part of the brouhaha, when I again assured you I'd be sending it back (with a book I thought you'd like) you wrote back a very rude email saying you'd hate for the postage to stand btwn me & a can of tuna...

C18 - You mention to peazy (I believe) how glad you are she's enjoying it & AGAIN express your dismay over the fact that I didn't tell you I'd rec'd it.  What was the pt. of reiterating this unnecessary info?

Most everyone knows about you anyway so....whatever.  Whatever your needs & requirements, make them public & make it quick because I and many others, will have absolutely nothing more to do with you.

Judy

[dancinginthedark]

Hi Anne -

Just wanted to comment on a post you wrote about increased pain.

I don't know if this will help much but *about* a mo. after I quit a 10 a day Tylenol 3 habit, my worst aches & pains came back to me with a vengeance.  Specifically, I recall my tailbone which I'd broken over a yr. before which hadn't even twinged in a yr.  Anne, when the pain came back it was *unbelievable*.  Another, was damage to the C3-C4 when I blacked out in the showerfrom my hypotension. OO, that too was nasty. Those two in particular almost drove me nuts for wks. & re-using was SUCH a temptation.  But much to my complete surprise both disappeared.  Yes, sometimes when I sit back I get a minor "owwy" & my neck/shoulder will flare up if I sit too long at the computer but it's not that big a deal.

I know when I was doing research on post-opiate "syndrome",  I discovered our bodies become increasingly sensitized for pain.  You already have these injuries/pains & they were masked by the vikes so...perhaps, this is to be expected, or at an incr. intensity.

Hang in there, Anne.  *I* just stood up & cheered for your 25 days of sobriety.  Remember:  You are stronger than the pain.  That much is obvious!

All the best,
Dancin' a.k.a. Judy

[SarpyJesse]

Hey....

What is the deal with "Frey" anyway?

And why the jabs at Judy? It seems to me that you are looking to create conflict and animosity. Something that a "Cured" addict tends to do so very well. You sound curiously familiar to me, "Rodewc." You're generally very good at stirring up the coals.... I've heard some people use the term, "Bent".

settle down.

JP

[dancinginthedark]

Thank you for your support.  Christ, that sounds like a brassiere ad!  No, seriously, this has been a rather ugly affair & for whatever my transgressions, I'm well at peace knowing I can't even find a match, let alone hold a candlestick next to someone who chooses to reject outright rejection & in fact attack THEM, fighting like some unneutered cat let loose in horncat season.

I dbl-checked both her emails to me & msgs on this thread.  Most were in the Vicodin & Dramamine Thread below.  In 1 msg she says, it would be nice to hear when Judy receives book.  It was part of a long paragraph & while I intended always to tell her when I rec'd, thank her & send it back, when I did receive it, things were very very ugly & no, I didn't remember her request.

However, further in the same thread she says twice in the same msg, "I don't save books, trash it or keep it.  I have enuf stuff lying around here".

Ironically, on same thread she posts a URL, attributed to DA for us all.  If she finds DA so disgusting, why even go there, let alone PR & all the lurking?  Hey, maybe it's just me but if I felt it such a disgusting site, I wouldn't go near it.

Strange, none of us at DA have heard from Motz lately.  Could it be he was looking so far into the water, she fell in?  The evidence would suggest thus.

I apologize to all.  I'd just like to continue to post here as there are so many ppl I simply adore but I'd like to do so w/out being attacked.

Thanks again, Jesse.

Judes

[mystere]

Thank you for all your words of encouragement--I must say yesterday was a close call--I thank God that I was able to wake up this morning clean & sober-I write a note to my husband every morning and leave it on his paper--I usually sign it "your pill free wife"--I'm not sure how I would have felt if I couldn't have written that with a clean conscience this morning!
Gracie--How are you? You sound great!  Thanks so much for the words of encouragement--You and I embarked on this journey about the same time so I guess we're kindred spirits---Dancing--I always enjoy your posts and to be quite honest my pain has subsided quite a bit!  To everyone Thank-you for all of your prayers--I would have never made it without this board!  Take care--Peace/Prayers Mystere-AKA N.O. Lady

Anne

P.S.--My husband and I are headed for the coast and I'll check on everyone when I return tomorrow

[rodewc]

Yes, it was free book. A recept? Huh? Whoosh. I told you to keep the FREY book, twice. I have a mountain of junk in this place and give all my books away.

I asked you to tell me when you received it via mail. You didn't. I am hope that wasn't a burden. I had spent 25. on the book and 6. postage. Therefore, I wanted to hear from you that it had made it safely.

I am glad you chose to tell me yesterday that you did receive it. Thx.

I had read last week on another board that you were enjoying Frey's book, reading it a 2nd time. However, that post didnt mention where you had gotten the book.

As the customs slip said, and as I said: It was a gift.

Enjoy

~rwc

[dancinginthedark]

Well, I hadn't thought I need credit the sender of a GIFT, especially when the GIFTER, or LOANER made it abundantly clear to all on said site, being DA - duh - how loathsome she finds them all.

You should have told me you needed full credit!

I will post all over DA that you sent me the book as a GIFT, tho I'd fully planned to return it as I've demonstrated in this exchange.  

Oddly, where I wuz raised weez tawt to enjoy both loans & gifts & was never advised to credit the loaner/gifter. Just be grayshus, return in same condition, or if a gift, thank, wull, always thank.  I think of borrowing friend's clothes & sure, sometimes if asked, I'd say who it belonged to but it wasn't considered de rigeur.  But hey, bein' raised in sum part of the deep south, I've been lookin' for ma front teeth since I wuz born so yu gotta fergive ma parents, HUH?

As to the rest of your entirely indiscernible drivel, well, my inability to made head nor tails of it is clearly the problem of my inept mind.

And thank goodness for small miracles!

I'm glad this matter is finally closed.  Consider this the FINAL conclusion of all matters between you, me, Motz & Sarah.

This grp deserves better & I won't waste any more of their time.  If you want to, go thru a 3rd party or go to DA.  But not this forum.  Believe me, I'll take you on with 1 of my toes against all 9 of yours!  

And have the grace to show some kind of class twd this forum since you ain't got no other kinda class.

Judy
(Oh, sorry, you renamed me DARK!!!OOOOOHHHHHH!)

[passenby]

You know when I posted this question I really didn't expect much reply, but at least it would give people a chance to talk to each other about there problems with there addiction and help one and the other to incourage each other.I really didn't intend for a dispute no one learns anything from that so please this is not the place.

[nwbeachin]

Hi.....
   Being three years clean, I have received so many gifts for others...in advice, support, encouragement, literature, etc. When someone gives a "gift", most people accept it accordingly. Once in a GREAT while, you realize the so-called "gift" is actually a means for attention. "Look what I gave you, look what I did, look at how giving I am." No gift graciously given has aftermath. When you give...you let it go.
   Some people really don't know how to "give"...there are strings tied to the gift. A simple...Thank you should be adequate....for most people.
   Nice to see ya at "that other board".
jan

[rodewc]

Sorry @ Dark (name).. I am slow typist, so I chose a short word as the heading for your name. (10 wpm) I am not looking for thx, simply wanted to know that the book arrived. If my meessage was interpreted differently by you, apologies. Same w/ your name. My intent was to know that the book had arrived and was not waylayed in Siberia. I don't get your diatribe previously, but pls. disregard any further explnations. I am sure it is just that the written word doesn't clearly convey what we wish.

rwc~

[suzieneedshelp]

Wut i have heard a thousand times is if I take narcotics not as prescribed..as in.. more than prescribed or not for legitimate severe pain that i have tried to resolve in non narcotic ways, it is considered a relapse no matter wut the rationalizations my sick mind convinces me of.
Hope that helps!
Peace...and congrats on workin your recovery!
Suzie

[bmac]

I got into this conversation a little late but what if you take your meds the right way well you know I am a druggie for sure and I sruggled with keeping my addiction under control. Of course I failed miserably. Of course who in the hell I am to say anything I am in withdrawals from Morphine! You Nut!  Bill

[peaz]

You seem to be in W/D from your lobotomy, Doll.....:-)  You are doing great and I hope your appt goes well today.  Tell me the gory details later.  And give me Mike H's address......LOL

[bmac]

No Peazy, I wanna get back to the Pammy and Peazy show here. Did I read that right that you and her both want me? OH MY GOD! This isn't a sex chatroom, calm down.JK  What's your number? LOL
(private joke guys sorry)!
OK Peazy I am on Oramorph SR and in 90 days or so I will switch to Oxy contin then in another 90 days he is switching me back to Kadian. He explained this to me and I know it sounds strange but remember he is my friend first and my pain doc second. He is concerned about controlling my addiction as well as my pain. If I screw up one time I am out. He did make me pee in a cup and God the person reading the test is gonna say Jesus this guy is a druggie. LOL
I told the nurse as I was leaving: Hey you want me to go ahead and just tell you what is in my urine? She laughed but I could tell she was thinking the Doc is giving this idiot morphine. I also was talking to him in his office and I told him to kiss my ass and his staff thought we were fighting in there. I can see it now, Drug addict kills Pain doc in office.
Ain't Life Grand? ( Michael Houser, WSP)

[peaz]

It's a good thing your DR. and his staff know you or the men in white ( AND BLUE AHAHHA) would be on their way....You'll get the med thang worked out.
    The only way you'll get your KVIK t-shirt is to get me a WSP one......So get busy.  That was a cool drawing of Mike Houser you sent BTW.  
    Your initial question re: Pammy and I needs to be addressed (or undressed, as the case may be) at great length somewhere else.  How about my house??

[bmac]

I'll be on a flight at your beckon call.
***@****. Pam stop it! Hippy Chic!
WSP TEEshirt. Nothing but Big ones!K?

[peaz]

Northwest Flt. 455 Lvs Bham 9:45 PM  May 27, open return..........;-)

[pammy0690]

Yo!  Did someone say threesome?  I want a kvike T-Shirt and a WSP t-shirt.  I guess I will have to get my own WSP shirt when I see them in August.  For the Kvike shirt I will have to get one when I go to Rehab in Minn!  Remember Peazy you offered to take my rehab money and clean me up?  

Bill do not worry what that stupid nirse thinks.  In fact that goes for everyone on this forum STOP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK!  Be true to yourself and you can't go wrong!  Peace Pammy

[peaz]

Well, school is about out and my rehab slots are filling up quickly, so you  and mrRip need to make your reservations.......It's first-come, first-serve for the fire pit and deck lounge chairs.  LOL  For a small fee I will let you smoke in  the kitchen w/ a window wide open...:-)  otherwise, it is an outdoor activity.  Emma can stay in Maggie's kennel since the gender jives.  May I suggest July??  Bring your truck and I can paint the Dead logo on the hood.....(again, for a SMALL fee...:-)  Hell---just bring your credit cards...LOL       Love  and Pilates--- Peazy June

[athena]

You and Pam are too damn easy. Leave my man alone!

[peaz]

You don't fool me for a MINUTE, "girl"!!!!!!!!!!LOL

[athena]

Well, one will never know will they. You gotta problem witt it!

[bmac]

Pix, Pam and Peazy, what is the problem here? I am man enough for all three of youz guyz. I thought we had this all worked out babes. Rotation is the key! Let me know, I am waiting with baited breath! LOL
Sorry Cindy, this all wasn't my idea, it was Peazy's, blame her!

[pixi39]

You three are nuts! Well, especially Bill! You two are great, he is a nutcase!