CLEAN

I havent posted in about 2 weeks I have been thru w/d (tapering is the only way with my type of drug) I was given good and solid advice here not to c/t so I was evaluated and doctor monitered and went to counseling due to the fact I have no health ins and no one to watch my daughter rehab was out (tho there is a waiting list here and I didnt have the money to pay for it) it has been an awful time up till about 3 or 4 days ago. I was soooooooooooo sick I hated those pills for doing this and hated myself for not even noticing how they ran my life. Towards the end of tapering the pills made me nausous they kept me from a seizure taking them hours apart even but they did nothing but make my stomach sick no good feelings from them. Do I miss being high? Sometimes not often but sometimes I need to be busier I need meetings now!!! I have located and contacted Narcotics Anymous. I sat in my room for hours calling rehabs, the hospital, NA, lots of people got all the info and lots of it then after that I called my oldest daughter to hold me accountable shes miles away but this no one knew then I told my husband the next day. I was very sick let me say its like my life shut down for the time I went thru this I was thankful to have the time NOW to do it. I love the being clear headed GOD thank you its been soooooo long i am not in a fog I can function and write and remember things and have more energy daily. My house is in order again I am cooking and baking things I quit a year ago!!!! Now is recovery I need to gain weight, exercise, ask for help when needed etc. I have purchased vitamins and milk thistle (cleans out the liver). I feel good now but I know this isnt a 24/7 promised feeling. Pray for and advice me when I need it I wouldnt be here probably if not for your all support and advice. Its been 15 days I believe since my journey I am so determined I need you all hold me up that I dont fall. I hate drug addiction I hate what it does to people and their bodies and minds. Thank you.

[worried878]

glad to see you again...I go to NA meetings and find strength there...the forum is my main support system...use it..it is free...we love seeing you post again...u should be sooooooooo proud of yourself!   keep posting

[newmanagment]

i have said that last sentence at least twice a day since i found this forum!! i hate everything about  drugs. they just plain suk!! but it is so great to read this post, you will be an inspiration to many on here, so stick around , we need ya.   I love my NA, i found one that fits me purrrfectly!! sounds like you know what ya need to do, so do it all the way!! much love, and keep posting

[cathy5841]

congrats...2 weeks i huge...you are breaking free...it is wonderful, and it gets so much better...i have my 90 days today and i am lovin it.  keep us posted
cathy

[worried878]

yey...I had to go to a few to find the one that fit me...NA I mean.....found a home group...it may not be the first group u go 2...or then again it might be....God will lead u there

[newmanagment]

worried, i had to NA hop too, but i did find "mine" on the third one. i figure i spent alot of years bar hopping, so a few weeks of NA hopping wouldnt hurt me none....

[toxictome]

CONGRATS ON 15 DAYS!!! WOOHOO!!! it's great to see you return to the forum..i was wondering about you today...glad things are going well.

NA mtgs are a great idea..shop around until you find one you feel comfortable at...

Keep going girl!! You've come a long way!!!

Keep posting.

[Flutterby111]

Congrats indeed!!!  You survived it!  It's hell! but you did it!