COUNILING FOR SEXUAL ABUSE & DRUGS

[stilltrying1965]

I would like to ask if anyone who went to counselling for sexual and physical abuse did they have to go into detail about what happened as im not sure if i could do that as it would be like reliving the whole nightmare again. Id be grateful on any advice on this. Im think im still stuck as that 12yr old boy and dont know if i could go through it all again. I want kim to come but she says she should wait outside as she doesnt think i would say everything if she was there. She will support me all the way she says but doesnt think its a good idea for her to come in. Kim found a counsellour at edinburgh university so we hope to get an appointment there soon. Any ideas would be grateful James

[avisg]

I think its good to bring up the past abuse just dont get stuck in it .I think some therapists
can dwell in the past way to much .They do need to know because it links
into the drug using .However then a good t
therapist should
be teaching you to live in the present and the future.Help you deal with your triggers and how do deal with them.How to live a clean life.Letting go of the past .It can be done .Do you want to know what my therapist taught me. How to solve my own problems and to take 100% responsibility for everything  I do in my life good and the bad .


This is a great step a big one you might just find out its a turning point for the better
xxxxxooooo avis

PS yes you need to do this on your own kim can be there but for now you need to do this on your own for you :)

[stilltrying1965]

a will hold you to that one Sarah lol

[dominosarah]

You keep clean and keep smiling and i will give you the biggest happy dance in just my nail polish!!!!!  LOL  

[stilltrying1965]

thanks all for your support and comments they mean so much to me you will never know just how much a think in taking the rightsteps now kim said there was a miricle in my house this morning i was actually smiling the first time in over a month so that one smile is the start of many many more and Sarah i can hear your feet tapping waiting on that happy dance just with the nail polish lol ah you minniesota girls...................

[10356]

Hey James.. I'm so Proud of you for taking the steps necessary to heal.. Kim should wait outside for you.. This is something that you should do for yourself and by yourself.. I had found before counseling I relied on gary to do everything with me. I did not have the confidence in myself Hell I barely left the house.. but seeing my counselor on my own gave me more then I could have imagined.. it gave me self empowerment. I was helping myself.. for so long I depending on everybody else to do for me.. Now I have the confidence to do for myself.. as Narla said it will take time but as you feel more comfortable it will come tumbling out as a river that has been held to long by a dam.. Everybody has given you great advice.. This will not happen over night and you will have to push yourself as I said before you are discussing the very things that produced a drug addict. but in the end so much will be lifted from you and so much will be made clear helping to put to rest your past and giving you the keys to living in the now.. Both you and Kim are such Beautiful People and I'm so grateful you will finally be giving yourself a chance to live a full rich life without the pain associated with your past.. warm hugs for both my brother and sister.. letakos

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

James... I as always found healing in my saying of: "When in Doubt... Write it Out"  

I keep a journal that just helps me to get my head thoughts down onto paper.. It's a mind/hand thing.. and what I have found is that it just helps to be able to GET IT OUT... Nobody has to read it... it's just for you to get thru it by expressing yourself...
If someone were to read my journal now... they would be blown away... lots of intense feelings and stuff in there.. but when I go back and read it.. it makes me see how far I've come  along this journey....Called LIFE 101!  

[gizzy32]

You have made a great choice here James. Quitting drugs is the first step, then the healing can start to begin after. Proud of you for going to see a counsellor, you can work through this:) Congrats to you also Kim, you have come a long way girl!

[dominosarah]

This will take time James.  Narla has a journal up about a little girl.......go and read it.  I think you may find you 2 have a lot in common.   sara

[desperatetostop]

Recovery of Your Inner Child: The Highly Acclaimed Method for Liberating Your Inner Self (Paperback)

the above is a great book to work with your counselor on...it will help and guide you in learning how to love yourself and the hurt little boy inside of you.

I wish you the best...sincerely I do. I'm sorry that you had to go through the hell and torment you went through. I am thankful that you are alive and here today...please love that little boy inside...

[narla]

I agree with Kim she should wait outside,I know if my husband was in the room I wouldn't be able to say a lot of what had to be said.  Denise

[narla]

In counselling you only talk about what your comfortable with.As you get trust in your counsellor you may find you say more than you  ever thought you would,I had a lot of therapy and counselling before I was Comfortable enough to tell my whole story.What I did was I told my counsellor I couldn't just blurt everything out so I started slow,I would write in a book some of what happened during the abuse each week then when I went to counselling I 'd let the counsellor read what I'd written and that would help to start us talking about my childhood.It's not easy I had a lot of tears a lot of anger and even rage,but eventually it has to come to the surface to be dealt with.No counsellor should try and force things it has to be at your pace-I found writing it down easier than saying what actually happened.Believe me counselling can be a great help eventually you probably will have to be honest about everything,but only at your pace and when your ready,It's okay to be angry,I told my counsellor I'd love to pay someone to kill my brother,they understand these emotions.and they will never judge you no matter what.I hope this has helped a little bit.Take Care thinking of you  Denise