Can I become addicted to painkillers at this rate of use?

[easyone]

I have had to take vicoprofen for back and knee pain since August, 2001.  I have taken one pill 4-5 times weekly.  In September of this year, I had a total knee replacement.  Since that time I have taken first percocet, and then lortab for pain.  I currently have to take one lortab-10 almost daily.  On very bad days I have to take two pills.  I am concerned about becoming addicted not due to the amount of medication that I have to take, but due to the amount of time that I have been taking them.  I am very careful not to take the medication until the pain is such that it occupies my entire focus.  Since September, I have had a few days where I could manage the pain without any medication.  I guess my question is, am I at risk of becoming addicted when I only take the medication as described?  When I am able to go a day or two without the meds, I feel better overall so I am not experiencing any withdrawal symptoms without the medication.  When the pain gets so severe, I have to take the meds to take the edge off the pain to function.  Unfortunately, the pain medication also affects how I feel overall and while it does provide some relief for the pain, it makes me feel generally bad otherwise.  I have been taking prescription pain medication for 16 months now, and don't know how much longer I'll need it.  I just don't want to create a bigger problem than what I'm already trying to manage.

[Bodymechanic]

I do not think you will get addicted at your dose and frequency.  Research has consistently shown that addiction is fairly uncommon.  We here are the acceptions to the rule.

[teeitup]

I have been on Vicoden ES for 6 years due to a rare vascular disorder and sports injuries. As you I only took 2-3 a day and no more. I recently had hand surgery and was taking 6-8 a day for three weeks, probably only needed 3-4. Guess what, when I tried to cut back, bam withdrawals.

As you read through all the post and see stories of how many some people take you might think well I'm not addicted I don't take that many. For me there was a fine line I crossed and it cost me. I will have to take something as you or I can't function. So I made myself a promise I will not take more than 1 a day unless something is bad wrong. So far its day 7 and I've stuck to it and not taken any extra just because I hurt a little.

I wish I could not even take 1 but for me that's no option. Read the forum, make yourself a commintment and stick to it.

I played golf today for the first time in 5 weeks after my surgery and shot a 77 and did not take an ES. It was the first time in my 17 years of playing I did it without smoking, drinking or taking something. I'm not going to lie, after nine holes I was suck'n egg's and if I had brought one I would have taken it.

Without this forum I would not have had this minor accomplishment. Thank you all!

Teeitup!

[thankyou]

I feel I have finally found a place to feel safe to talk about my problem.  Thank you for having this forum to talk.  I have been reading statements for hours.  My life has been filled with on rx after another.... it is time to stop.... I thought dying was the only answer until I looked into my son's face.  No one in my family knows my secret..... thats all I can talk about today...

[Rex1]

Everyone here was where you are now at one time. You have taken the first step.

We will be here when you are ready.

Rex

[teeitup]

Welcome, when you feel comfortable find as many friends and family as you can trust and tell them you need their help. You'll be surprised at how many all ready know you have a problem and don't know how to confront you about it. I thought I was keeping a secret too, wrong they new.

Read the forum when you can and it will help give strength you did not think you had!

Many people here are willing to give you personal email addresses if you'd like. Just ask and you'll be suprised how many are willing to help.

Good luck!
Teeitup!

[lifeisbetter]

Thankyou and Pillhell, believe it or not you help me. I remember feeling like I had nothing to say and that nobody wanted to hear about my problems. I felt worthless and humiliated all the time. If your feeling that way don't. The concept of one addict helping another is a brilliant one. When you post about your life every word you say could have come from my mouth. You help me remember where I was. In return I hope that I can help give you a little bit of peace. I know how hard it is to believe that life is livable without these pills. I just knew that I was condemned to a life of misery with or without the pills. I look back now and see how much time I wasted due to the fear of withdrawel and then living without them. I detoxed sooo many times off of vic's then percs and Oxy's. I always went back because the chemical depression that comes after you stop felt so overwhelming I had no choice but to use. THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE I NEVER GAVE IT ENOUGH TIME! I started to feel "normal" after 3 weeks and really good by 5 weeks. Where your standing that seems like forever but from where I'm standing it is only a second in time. Don't get defeated, when they say don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle happens, you have no idea how profound that statement is. How many miracles have you let go by? I'm going home to 3 miracles right now, my children.

[Oxy2]

Taking meds as directed should not get a person addicted...correct? I have been taking the pain meds the doctor has been prescribing for almost 5 years. Started with Hydro 7.5s then progressed to Oxycontin 40 mg 3X a day. Now 5 yrs. later I am taking 80mg 3X a day with 10mg IR as needed. (20 or 30 mg a day) So now I take over 250 mg of Oxy a day or in percocet terms 50 5mg percocets a day! I hold down a great job and only one person at work knows about the meds I take. Of corse everyone knows I have medical problems and have trouble walking... The point of my post is that even those of us that take our meds as directed will have to face the overwhelming pain of withdrawl!! So call it dependent or call it addicted, a person in withdrawl from 250mg oxy a day will care little about lables! I do not know if I will ever pain free enough to stop the meds but I hope the doctor will plan a long slow taper! When I read how some of the people on the site have the strength to go CT I have to admire their will power and resolve! I have only posted here a few times but when I do I almost always have someone tell me that because I use my meds as directed that maybe I do not belong here on this forum. Maybe I dont understand addiction like many here do but I do understand what it is like to have my life ruled by drug!

[Nod]

Like that name!  Your on track when you talk about secrets.  That's our (addicts) downfall.  Our secret little pill world where we can get away from "it" for a while.  Unfortunately its a spiral downward as we sink deeper and deeper into it's grasp.

I have gone from heavy use to clean for months, then back again, on and on.  For me it will be a lifetime battle. But this forum has helped me 1) realize I'm not alone 2) People do care 3) There is a way to fight and win your life back  4) Never give up!

Right now I'm on the use after 5 months of clean.  My world is go to work with 1 pill in my pocket and struggle through the day (need my wits about me at work,) then as soon as I get home - bamm --- 70-100mg hydro and I'm away from "it."  Away from what I don't know, that's my struggle.  I hate me right now.  Like most I'm trying to figure out what "it" is.  I pray I will someday figure it out before it does me in.

Anyway, welcome! Your amoungst people who understand.
Nod

[galawyer]

Hello all

This is Day 3 of no oxycontin.  I was taking 160mg since August of last year.  My doctor decided, suddenly to discontine writing prescriptions for me.  I was frantic - especially reading all the post about how painful withdrawal can be.

The first day after the ANOUNCEMENT from the doc, I tapered down to 80mg.   Then 60 mg.  Then 20mg.

I feel pretty good, expect its hard to go to sleep.  I haven't had any problems.  

There is hope and the angels watch over all of us.

Peace

[teeitup]

Oxy2 - As you I use hydro for medical reasons and will for life. Yes you do belong here, call us long term low dose users what you will but I need this forum to help me "use" not "abuse".

Nod - I like the term "it". Keep riding the roller coaster, I think it will be a lifetime battle for most of use.

Lostinga - Good job on cutting back!

Teeitup!

[hippy]

nod , your post touched my soul.
i can relate to everything  you wrote.
all i can say is never give up hope.
we have all been through hell and more.
but life is always renewing itself.
things change. it will get better.


peace

[pillhell]

Like many others already stated-YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!I completely understand about your family.My family doesn't know either.I've been trying to get clean for years now.My family definately would NOT be supportive.I have two miracles(my kids)who are the reason i go on.Who are also the reason I have to get clean.I have been using this forum for months now.It really does help!There are so many caring people who definately been in your shoes,and still are.Sometimes I write,sometimes I just read.When your ready to post you will.Until then keep reading it will help.Good luck to you.god bless.

[hippy]

hey there, very nice to see you writeing ,
mentioning your child shows you are doing
better than you give yourself credit for.
caring about another human being is love.
by the way i love you handle  -thank you-
that is my daily mantra it reverberates
in my mind all day long.
im sure reading all the post is helping
more then you know.

peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[thankyou]

THANK YOU GUYS!!! I DIDNT THINK TO READ IN THE OTHER AREAS OF THIS FORUM.  I ONLY READ FROM WHERE I POSTED... I HAVE BEEN JUST TALKING TO REX... NOW I KNOW HOW THIS WORKS..  MY BRAIN AND BODY FEELS LIKE MUSHED OATMEAL..... I KEEP TRIPPING DROPPING THINGS AND I DONT KNOW HOW I AM GOING TO MAKE IT THROUGH CHRISTMAS... ALL I KNOW IS I HAVE SUPPORT HERE, THE LOVE OF MY SON AND I NOW KNOW THE ONLY WAY MY LIFE WOULD OF TURNED OUT IS JAIL OR DEATH.  I HAVE READ SOME THINGS ABOUT PEOPLE BEING CAUGHT WITH FAKE SCRIPTS AND OTHER STUFF.... BETWEEN*^%##$^&*(* MY BODY AND THE POSSIBILITY OF GOING TO JAIL... IT AINT WORTH IT...DRUGGEN HAS @@#$%^&*() UP MORE LIVES.  I WISH EVERYONE A GREAT CHRISTMAS AND HAVE MADE A COMMITMENT TO BE HERE EVERYDAY..  I WOULD APPREICATE IT IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK ON EMAIL... I NEED A PERSON TO BE ACCOUNTABLE TOO... THANKS MY EMAIL IS ***@****  EVERYONE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!! KIM

[teeitup]

I sent you an email! Stay strong, contact me if you'd like and like most people here I'll try and help you, because that help's me!

Teeitup!

[Vincer]

Would your first name be Casey? If so please e-mail me ***@****
The vascular condition you spoke of is my point of interest.

[hippy]

hey , if you need someone , i read my email everyday.
***@****
peace  hippy/  michael

merry x mas

[teeitup]

No I'm not Casey, I sent you an email. Feel free to contact me!

Teeitup!

[coswathy]

Just found the site today..thanx for being available..hope honesty with meds can bring comfort...I've been taking vic5's for years(5-6)..but not sure about starting date...they fit well with my life...can work great without nods...take 8-12 per day depending on doctor's allowance...got plenty of neck & back pain...a few over 50 years young..try to exercise/stretch daily..but not all works out....have noticed the downs of it..the mood swings....sweet binges....weight yeah ok.but 30-40 over...wife and two teens...successful Christian lifestyle...hard to get up in the morning...don't exactly like knowing I might have to do this forever.........more later

[FaraBell]

C96 FaraBell
(27-Dec-02)  . Hello To All- First, I just want to say what a terrific site this is. It really allows people with Vicodin addictions to express themselves and allow others in, whereas in "the real world", that can not easily be done. Others who do not struggle with this just don't understand it. People who have an addiction such as this one NEED to talk about it because nobody really likes who they are while they are doing this. Maybe they do in the beginning (remember when it used to be fun once?!) but as they continue on that bumpy road, surely that will change. I mean, who ENJOYS downing 30-40 pills a day or MORE? I certainly didn't. Well, in the beginning, it was great. Here is a pill that allows me to be a Social Superwoman. I can do anything AT ALL....just as long as I have a few extra pills in my pocket. I started taking hydrocodone 7.5 for herniated disks in my lower back. Then, I just damn well enjoyed the way they made me feel. And so I graduated. I moved onto the 10/325mg. That was good for a little while UNTIL I discovered they make 15/325mg. I was taking about 20 a day-7 just to get out of bed and start my day. Finally, when I went to the island of Jamaica and, instead of enjoying the fun and sun, I was worried about my pill supply running out and I could not get out of bed before taking 6 pills to remove the withdrawl symptoms that were there lingering, waiting to attack me within the hour, I finally HAD IT with these "white devils". I got home from Jamaica on a Saturday and I checked into a 7 day inpatient detox on that Monday. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. They had me on a methadone detox which helped me somewhat. I was still sick for the first 3 days but NOTHING compared to what I would have been like had I done it alone at home. I know this from prior attempts on my own. I went into the detox on 11/11/02, got out on 11/19/02 and started outpatient groups 5 days a week on 11/22/02. I am currently in the outpatient group but now I go 3 days a week so that I can work a few days a week as I get to know the "me without pills". I haven't known that side of myself in a loooonnng time. And more importantly, I AM CLEAN and FREE. Because as long as you continue to take these pills, you are never free, never your own person. You make no decisions, the pills decide everything in your life for you. Everything! There are now some days I feel good and others I feel really bad. And it's on those bad days I hear my addiction calling me to it, trying to entice me back in. Those days are some of the hardest I have ever had to deal with. I never thought I would be able to get off of the Vic's in the first place and now here I am, clean for over a month. So, what keeps me from succumbing when those pills scream my name, you ask? Here's my secret: think of the things in your life that you want to happen and think of the things that are really and truly reachable and tangible. Think about the way you want to be towards your family and friends. Think about what you'd like to bring to the table in the relationships in your life. What do you want to offer to them? What would you like to be able to give back to these people? Well, once you stop taking those pills, you will be able to do the things you want to do, be the way you want to be, give back to others what they give to you, and aboveall, you will actually be pleasant to be around. Even-tempered! Imagine that one?! It will not happen overnight, it will happen slowly but SURELY. Hey, you didn't start out popping 20-30+ pills a day, did you? You had to work up to it. And if you committ yourself to this, you will work up to the point you want to be at. And with each passing day, you will feel better and better. Some days might feel like the end of the world, but that's life. THIS IS WHAT LIFE IS LIKE when you live it normally, without any mood-altering substances. And although sometimes it sucks, it still feels great...to FEEL again. I will be more than happy to help anyone of you and to answer any questions you may have, whether it's about addiction OR recovery. It all goes hand in hand. And remember, the only way you can successfully quit is if YOU want to do it and YOU-yourself- have had enough of living in hell. You cannot "do it for" your wife, husband, kids, sister, nephew, mother, etc...it is ALL ABOUT YOU!! Thank you for reading about my experience. Remember that every day is a journey...and a gift. Stick around and see what's in store for you!!

[HydroGirl]

Hi there... I have only posted MAYBE 2 times.... and I havent gottan any better. here is a short rundown (as short as I can make it) since 1993 I have had ankle ligament/tendon problems.. first started in 1 ankle then in 1997 the left ankle started. I was going to the same docotr consistently and the first surgery in 1997 I had he gave me over 100 Vicoden's with 3 refils.. I went back for my second surgery in Oct and he didnt want to give me anything but Oxy 10's wich I turned down the day of my surgery and convinced him to give me Vicoden's ... a month before my surgery my family doctor gave me a 5 day supply and only would refil it every 2 weeks ... the 2nd week after my surgery in october my lovely compassionate doctor decided that I no longer needed any pain meds.. since the incission had healed up nicely and all looked well.. I was stil in severe pain ... he told me he thought I was addicted so he sent me to a 'Pain Mgt' and he said they would help me get off the pills  since I didnt need them anymore.. well. here comes the best part of all....... My Surgeon had played with my medical records and made it LOOK like I was addicted I took the papers I got from his office to the Pain Mgt center of my choice.. and found out my surgeon only diagnosed about 30% of my actual problems.l... I am only 25 and already have heel spurs on BOTH feet, and now they think I have some type of genectic ligament/tendon problem wich may go on forever... I am in worse shape since my last surgery ... I cant stand for more than 5 minutes or it feels like I am standing in fire.... but this Pain Mgt Doctor I see actually believes my pain... he believes I am in pain and he understands how I am feeling.... I get 40 Lotab 10's every 9-10 days and he has no problem with that... I am going through therapy and micro stimulation and also heat wax dipping... wich doesnt seem to be improving ... and I will be needing at LEAST 4-5 more surgeries on my ankles... I dont actually have a point here other than I was afraid to go to a pain mgt center because all I heard about them were that they wont help and they just give you pills like some type of sugar pills to get you off of Pain Killers... I am also on Soma .. and I switch between Soma and Flexeril ..
wich Soma helps me sleep so well... Im glad I could type this much , and I am VERY proud of myself this past 3 weeks of my scripts for Lortab's have lasted me through the whole time until my next refil .. wich never happened before... :-) sorry for blabbing !

[teeitup]

Good job on cutting back, I also have long term problems that require pain med. for life. Try and continue to taper and stretch doses as long as possible. Post at the top questions, more people will see them and it doesn't matter if the question doesn't directly relate. Good luck with your surgeries and keep posting!

teeitup!

[HydroGirl]

I dont know how to post at the top of questions.. gonna try this
thanks for the support

[daughterofaddict]

my mother has back problems that they cannot do surgery on. They have told her she needs to use pain management. This has turned to prescription drug addiction. She is taking Methadone and Oxycontin. She is now being told by her "doctor" that after having female bleeding for a month (she is 53), that she just needs to have a complete hysterectomy. I am concerned that she is not getting any health care. Her doctor is buddies with my mother's husband and he smokes pot and takes some of her pills too. He and the doctor decide what and when she is to take her pills. She walks around like a zombie, and now they are going to just cut her open. Will these pills effect her recovery? Will she even be able to feel anything if she overdoes it? I am really worried that with no prior female problems, that they have come to this decision.

[teeitup]

go to a top question and post comment like you did here, you'll get more response. good luck!

teeitup!

[thenavi]

I first took one Percocet for fun, and it didn't do anything so I stopped. My friend was taking anything he could get and he encouraged the use if I was angry. Whenever I was depressed or anything I would take a Merepedine/Promethazine, which calmed me down. I took two MP's at once a few times and stopped when they ran out. After about a week I discovered oxycodone when my back was hurting, so I took some. I kept taking them for about three weeks, two a day even after the back pain stopped after two days. I decided to stop today at school and my friend did also. This is an awful habit, and I just took two OC's and an MP. Will it be hard to quit? I thought yesterday was my last day, but around five o'clock I started getting really frustrated and agitated...so I took the three. I'm only seventeen and I don't wanna go down the wrong path, this is the worst thing I've ever done...Please Help