Can I find quality of life after opiate addiction? I just want to be "normal" again plz...

Hi everyone of my fellow opiate strugglers,
  My husband and I both have become addicts to any kind of narcotic painkillers that we can get ahold of... Sad to say that it all started with me and my rx's. I was given several prescriptions over the years for vicodin or perc's. I used to be able to take just one 5/500 vic and it would mess me up for a few hours... Now I can take 6 of them at a time and I literally feel nothing but nauseous from all the Tylenol in them. I secretly had a rx for them about 5 years ago when we had me and I would take them just when I had them and no more than 1-2 a day. No big deal, right? Well as time went on I realized that I needed more, and did some things to get more from doctors. My husband asked me what they were like and why everyone was taking them and so I gave him a few to try... HUGE mistake! We casually took them just when I had them for about 6 months until I got scheduled for some cosmetic surgery that they gave me 90 perk's for 2 weeks on advance and then got more.  By the time my surgery went down my husband and I had taken all of my pain pills and I had to deal with augmentation (under the muscle) with nothing more than advil... It was pure painful hell to say the least. That was in October 2008' and things have spiraled out of control... I had a child in June 06' adding to my already 4 1/2 year old boy at the time and let's just say he was the hardest child ever to raise, still is but I love him. I thought that if I took pills then I could clean my house, take great care of my boys, get tons of energy, cook large meals for my family, basically be super mom and super wife... Now without them I can't even muster up enough energy to get out of bed and I am SO depressed that life just isn't worth living without them. I, my husband and I actually, have a HUGE problem here and I so need some support /advice! Things have gotten so bad that I was stealing 60/month from a man that I was care giving for... Not that he even needed them. I convinced the VA that he was in pain so I could feed the monkey on my back. Then I get the 30/7.5/750 vic ES from one of my dr's, 52 every 2 weeks of the Norco 5/325 (104 month) and my husband gets 30 5/500 vic every 2-3 weeks from his dr. I get Tramadol in between lately just because I had to go tell one of my dr's that I thought I may have a mild issue w/ opiates... My withdrawals were SO severe OMG... I really thought I was going to die. Oh and the best part is that if that wasn't enough drugs we are also have recently been spending over $1,000/month. This is so scary to even write this down. I guess it's time to come clean to somebody and if you are reading this then you're it:) I am frightened for my life right now... My addiction is much worse than my husbands even. He weighs about 220 and I am about 120 yet I can tollerate so many more than him. I am taking around 10-25 of whatever I have at the time to take. Last Sun. I took 7 10/325 Norcos then followed that up w/ 24 5/500 vics 'in one day. I basically took way too much tylenol and I have been vomiting since then. Sat-present I haven't though so I hope the worst part of that is over now. I have about 20 vic, 2 perk and appx 5 methadone at my disposal right now but my rx's are due next week... I want to GET OFF THIS S**T!!! Please please help me! I don't know how to live without it now... I started on Celexa (anti depressant) and Xanax (anti- anxiety) back in Feb. because I thought if I could deal with my severe depression then I could finally break this cycle but I am still depressed- now with or without the pills. The xanax helps me sleep at night because I can barely cope with all the racing thoughts that pour through my brain when I lay in bed at night. I feel so much guilt for being a mom like this. I know that my 8 year old has caught on and I finally had a talk with him about it because he wanted to know why I always go to the pharmacy and why when I dont I get really "sick"... It was a horrible talk for me. My own mom is in prision for events that have occured due to her drug/alcohol addiction that started when I was just 3. I love my kids and family and I know that I am living a lie. No one would ever suspect that my husband and I are addicts and we have to keep it that way! This is the only forum I have read or posted to because I feel like I have to share this with someone... I am really just hoping someone can tell me that my energy will return and eventually I will be able to get out of bed in the morning without wanting to cry my eyes out without the pills. I can't even take my kids to the park unless I am high, this is pathetic. How did I do this to myself and my family?: I swore I would never be like my mom and now unless I make huge changes I will be. I am a good mom and most wouldn't know I have to be high to even take a shower and put clothes on in the morning but it's all true... It's so hard trying to quit too since my husband and I are never on the same page and wanna quit at the same time... My time is now though. I want to use the few m I have to help me get off the V= trust me, it does help a lot w wd's! I am ready to do this but please tell me how long until I am ok??? I just need anything positive that says that I am going to make it and live a clean and sober life for my family,,, Thanks for reading my rant and rave and any advise is so appreciated:) God bless, C

[LeaAnn807]

Hi!  If you want to hear someone say that your life and energy will return after you stop drugs, then I am here to say YES it will.  It won't happen overnight, but it will happen!  There is no quick fix...just like your addiction did not happen quickly.  It takes time and patience, and you have to want it more than anything else.  You have to put your sobriety before anything else in your life.  And you have to make recovery a top priority, or it won't work!

It seems like you are tired of living this way.  I don't blame you!  There are things you can do to lessen the WDs.  Just go for it!!!  It just takes a few days, and you get a lifetime of payoff!!!

Good luck!  Keep posting!

[mellie4]

You know, you and I are not that different.  Though I take my medicine as prescribed for extremely bad chronic pain, the outcomes are the same.  I'm dependent on my medications and if I run out, then I will go into withdrawal.  (This almost happened to me this weekend when my prescription didn't come on Friday like it was supposed to.  I started withdrawals on Saturday and then the script came in the mail.)

But I'm at a point after being on these meds for 3 years and the dosage going up that I am not the mother I want to be.  The oxycodone has stolen my personality.  Right now I'm looking into alternative methods to treat my pain because I know I can't function with the pain.  But I am also not functioning with the medication anymore.  

I find I'm depressed on the meds as well as off them.  I'm a single mom of 4.  My oldest, who I depend on a lot, is heading off to college in August.  They've seen all the surgeries I've been through, but the bottom line is mom doesn't do what she used to.  I was very social both with my own social circle and with the kids'.  No more.  I isolate.  

Good for you for being so honest.  That's the first step.  You will find so much help on this site.  Can you go to a detox?  Can you talk to your doctor for help getting you off?  It seems like you're on a lot of medications and high doses.

Do you remember your life before the medication?  I do.  And I want it back.  Good luck with everything.  Don't give up and just take a minute at a time.  Keep posting here and reading other's comments and posts.

[happypill]

Hi.... i am new here too, just wanted to say hi, becuase i am in the same situation as you. I have a young family, and I need to stop taking Vicodin. My problem, like yours, started with a vike "once in a while"... then once a week... now its 4 per day or I cant function. They give me optimism, motivation, and energy, FOUR TIMES A DAY, and right now I am literally pissed off that i have to stop....how sad is that?  I have had a steady constant legal supply from my primary care doc, so I have never had to go without them, get double rx's, buy them illegally, etc.... i have borrowed more than a few from my mothers bottle.....
my best friend of 25 years asked me: "what is it about these pills that makes your life so much better?"   I told her, that with them, its the difference of me being able to have the energy to cleam  my house, cook dinner, work 12 hour shifts instead of just 8, thus making more money...etc..... she said: "can you just have a cup of coffee for energy?" I feel pathetic, because people do all these things and MORE and they dont need vicodin to do it.....
anyways, i moved to another state and had to get another doctor...surprise surprise, he balked at my current vicodin dosages.... and he gave me a rx for ultracet..... and I am not going down that road....(besides, I tried THREE of those lil red devils, and I felt NOTHING)
i never had to go without the vicodin, they were free flowing, until now and I am working off my last rx of 100, my absolute minimum is 4 per day. My husband holds the bottle.
I know I need to stop, as I dont have pain anymore, i just use them to feel energized and motivated. But I havent had to go through withdrawals yet, I have never had to buy pills, never had any "rock bottom" epiphany--- yet---so basically, the very fact that I have to stop takiing them scares the **** out of me..... its so hard. because I rationalize to myself... I take 4 pills per day, and I get so much accomplished, whats the harm? I can stay at 4 per day, no problem. I have been up to at least 10 per day , last summer, and even I know that was too much, so i tapered down to 4 per day, that my husband "dispenses" to me every morning.... how sad.....but i have been at 4 per day for over 6 months.....I dont require more, but I cant take one less either. and quite frankly, I dont have  A desire to......because they havent caused me any problems in my life, IE: i function better when i have them, not worse, i dont steal them, i dont do illegal things to get them....and i appear to be a normal suburban professional mom....but I have come accustomed to 4 vicodins per day. and now I have to stop. I come here several times a day for encourgement, dont post all the time , because I feeel like a hypocrite.. for the most part it seems everyone here has the DESIRE to quit taking pills....I have no desire to stop, I am pissed off that i have to stop taking them, and I am anxious at the thought of how I am going to feel without them...... i am social, optimistic, happy, etc when I take them, and when i dont I am the complete opposite....
i just wish there was another way to feel what vicodin gives me , in a natural way...
anyways, I am rambling now. So I will stop....

[happypill]

see mellie, thats exactly what i mean--- my life BEFORE vicodin was not good.... i dont have a before and after horror story to cling to.....thats why its so hard for me....because, for the first time in my life, i can work 60 hours per week at a high stress job, feel optimistic, social and have energy to want to do things. BEFORE i had NONE of those things....this is why i became hooked on them......uggghhhhh this is so freakin hard.....

[happypill]

oh btw, luckygirl, i dont know HOW you went through a submuscular augmentation with just advil..... if you can do that, you can do anything!!!

[mellie4]

It can't continue though.  At some point, you could end up where I am, depressed, isolating, and apathetic.  The false energy you get goes away eventually.

You say you didn't have a good life before Vicodin.  What about your children?  Isn't there something that was good with them?  Something that would be better without the Vicodin?

Where's your husband at with his pill use?  Are you two going to do this together?  Maybe that will help, having someone going through this at the same time and you both knowing what the other is going through.  

All the best to you.  

[banana911]

Wow - I came on here this morning to beg for directions on what to do after week 1.  And reading these stories make me teary eyed because the addiction, no matter what walk of life, is so incidious (sp?) - and all consuming.  And I sooooo understand how the pills help make you super-mom-wife-person.  And the withdrawl (withdrawal) and the body recovery after the initial worst of the withdrawl (withdrawal) is such a shock to the life you were leading.  I don't have the magic answer.  The hardest thing for me to accept now (I am just now in the begining here myself) is putting the time aside to get it done!  There are so many ways to do it:  and many here in this forum more qualified to lay them all out for you.  But if you are serious and you decide to make the jump I would say one of the things you have to do is decide WHEN to do it.  Can you take any time off?  Fain a "flu" for 4-5 days???  Or there is getting an addiction specialist doctor - - but I have done that before and just ended up addicted to suboxone rather than other pills.  I think you need a plan of attack.  Also, you will probably need to tell on yourself to all your doctors that you get prescriptions from.

And as far as your husband is concerned - I guess you can urge him to do the same - but I found  that once you are through the worst of it you are not even attracted to cheating because the withdrawl (withdrawal) process is so hard.  But me just this past week cheated on day 5 when I found 4 pills.  For that first week or two you must find a way to have NO access to pills - it is just too easy if you are in the middle of withdrawls to say "just one"...  

It is possible.  I have done it before - all on my own - no meds - just this forum - and lots and lots of ups & downs.  And I am here again - - so there is a lot to be said for the need for "after care" that all the long-termers will be so quickly to point out :)

Good Luck - really.  Your story really sank into my bones & I feel for you.  :)

[happypill]

Mellie- my husband never took a pain pill in his life, an alcoholic beverage, nothing--- he had siblings who had addiction issues and he was determined he was not going down that road. So, in that regard, he is completely, I wouldnt say unsympathetic, but he doesnt really get it..... he holds the bottle, gives me 4 per day, thinking thats how he can control things in his own way I guess. he never was ok with me taking them...ever...it is a source of us arguing. and really, can i blame him? what am I going to do, argue with the guy because he didnt want me to get hooked on pain pills? but thats exactly what I am.....
as far as my kids.....maybe I cant see it right now--- but, no, their life is no different from me taking the vicodin..... I have always had issues with depression, but to be honest, the vicodins actually HELPED my mood, rather than take things away from my life. does this make sense?

[Hate_my_life]

Right now you need 4 a day to function but eventually you'll need more as your tolerance builds up. Have you thought about tapering down to 3 or 2?

I was up to 6-7 at one point but now have tapered down to one 10 mg pill cut in 1/4s that I take 4 times a day. It's very hard but I'm doing it very slowly.

[mellie4]

It does make sense.  When I first went on narcotics for my pain and surgeries, initially it seemed like I was able to cope better.  I've had bouts with both depression and anxiety.  I can remember being 8 years old and feeling anxious, though I didn't know what it was at the time.

Maybe you can see someone and get an antidepressant to help with the depression?  Have you ever tried that route before?

As for your husband, I'm sorry, I confused you with another poster who's husband was addicted as well.  It could be that if your husband sees you're serious that he will become your biggest ally.  I know when my ex-husband got sober I did everything I could to help him stay that way.  I was encouraging and supportive, and I educated myself on his addictions.  I'm not saying it was easy; it wasn't.  There were times I was frustrated with his recovery.  

I feel bad in that I'm trying to see something in your posts where you feel hopeful.  Have you ever made a list of pros and cons of you taking these pills?  Maybe it doesn't seem like such a big deal to have to take 4 pills a day.  And I guess compared to a lot of people (myself included) that it doesn't seem like much.  But addiction is a progressive disease.  Eventually it catches up to you.  And it's sneaky.  Things can get out of control overnight.

I'm sure there are many, many people on here that have personal, first-hand experience on how bad things can get.  I can only speak from two angles:  first, my personal experience with narcotics, though they are under medical supervision, and second, my experience of living for 18 years with an addict.

The road I went down with him was terrible.  Eventually it led to legal problems, OUIs, financial trouble, infidelity, all kinds of abuse, physical problems and the list goes on.  Now is the time for you to get your life under control, not when things are spiraling out of control.

What would happen if you were to get in an accident and you got an OUI?  Driving on narcotics is the same as driving drunk and the same penalties apply.  (Personally, I won't drive on narcotics, even though I'm at a point where no one would know that I'm on them, though a blood test would reveal it.  I believe that even though I feel "normal" on my medications that my reflexes are just not what they would be if I was on nothing.  They can't be.  And I won't take a chance of harming someone else or myself by driving while I'm on meds.)

I hope you can find something positive about quitting.  I mean, you say you don't have a before and after story.  But one thing is that before taking the Vicodin you didn't argue with your husband about it.  If you stop taking them, those arguments will cease.  There's one positive thing.  There have to be more.

[happypill]

mellie-- thank you... I am on antidepressants  have been for years. and you know what? your exactly right-  I am NOT hopeful. But, that is unfortunately a trend in my life about mostly everything--- I know, thats a problem too....lol I am just a mess......and I really need to get some therapy--- for all these issues....
I just got rx'd on the vikes for legitimate medical issues, a few surgeries, many many kidney stones....(omg thats was the worst) and I soon realized they had the effect of well being amd euphoria that NO antidepressant could rival....and here I am....
I know this is rationalizing here so bare with me--- doesnt the fact that i am maintaining on 4 per day for ,at least 7 months now, a sign that thats all i need, and I wont require more and more?
and I have been thinking of the pros of quitting.... first and foremost is my LIVER, and how I would like to save it!!! but again, my addicted , rationalizing self tell me i am not at the max 4000mg per  day.

[Luckygirl05]

I just read all of your replies and I am SO thankful that you all are out there going through the same thing... I think as far as it goes with my husband that he really does want to stop too but we feed off each other and when I am at home going through w/d's he is the first person I beg to get me something, even one or two so I can get out of bed, take a shower and try to be a good interactive Mom that my boys deserve. Addiction runs in my family but generally to alcohol... I never thought that I would become addicted to anything but alas, here I am. I work my husband over and make him feel bad for me until he buys me some more pills from a source at his work. I have become very good at manipulating my situation to where he probably fears that I won't be able to run the household or care for the boys unless he gives me what I want. Just one more little fix so I can get out of bed and get housework done... I really don't want to quit either but I am SO scared at how deep I am in my addiction. My husband is pretty deep too but he has no idea how many pills I take at once or he would have financially cut it off long ago. I really think I might die if I continue on this path to destruction. I didn't have the best role models and I think my coping mechanisms really suck. I feel like I can do anything when I take pills but in reality they don't even affect me anymore. They just take the edge off.I do recall being happy before taking this crap but i don't know how to get back to that point. I just want to be able to get out of bed in the morning, make my kids and husband a big breakfast, get ready, clean the house and take the kids to the park or on a walk or something without feeling like I am going to die. I get in total panic mode where I try to rack my brain on how to come up with more. I have stolen pills from so many people! I even had a housekeeping business for 7 years and I would take out what I wanted and replace it with generic tylenol so no one noticed. I think I fly below the radar... I do not look like a pill popper nor does my husband. Addiction takes many forms I guess and you never can tell at first glance. I am wasting my life and youth waiting for my pills to kick in, hunting them down, laying in bed till my rx is ready for pick up then getting bare minimum ready till I can get to the pharmacy. My life is on stand by and so is my marriage. We have fought so much over the last 3 years that it's a miracle that we are still married! I thank god for him everyday and for my kids who love me no matter how "sick" I may be. I frequently can't sleep from the guilt or w/d's from running out and I lay in my master bathroom on the floor with my pillow and blankie and the blow dryer running... Some sort of nastalgic thing that I do for comfort. I can lay there all night, sometimes into the next day even. I can't believe I am finally opening up to someone (or several ppl) about my problems with addiction. I haven't been able to tell anyone because I have stolen them from so many ppl that I fear that they will be mad at me and judge me or abandon me... My mom is actually in Prision on several DUII charges and I don't have too many ppl that I feel really care and won't cast me out. I have the will to make changes and I hope that everyone sees that it is such a huge problem and you can't do this on your own. If you are on this forum it is because you have the will to change... You just have to make up your mind and we can all beat this together. I am sick of these little white pills controlling my and my family's life. I can't wait till Thursday when I can try again to stop with the support of others on here! God bless you all and I will be praying for each of you that you can find the happiness and health that you deserve, Stay strong friends, we WILL make it through this! XOXO, Christina

[Luckygirl05]

Oh and yes, going through my breast submuscular augmentation without any pain meds was a total nightmare that I never will forget... I still can't believe that I made it through that on Advil! I also had 2 natural childbirths as I didn't want my kids to come out with any drugs in their little systems. I never used back then and thank god that I am getting off this crazy path while I still have my health! Thanks for the support:) Christina

[grace1208]

Hi, I just read through your posts and wanted to write to give you some hope. I am in a 3 year relationship with an opiate addict. He has been sober now for 6 months after he relapsed after a 2 year sobriety. Although it seems incredibly difficult right now, your life does hold the happiness and energy you are looking for, without drugs. My fiance is living a happy productive drug-free life. He's a wonderful father to our 1 year old daughter and a great partner. His road to recovery was difficult. He spent  30 days in rehab and was on a suboxin treatment for months. But with support, and the belief that you CAN do it (for your kids and husband, but ultimately for you), a drug free life is possible. If you can make it through that surgery on only Advil- sweetie, you can get through this. Be positive and believe in yourself.

A little advice from what I've learned through my experience and Nar anon, you need to be away from your husband and anyone who enables your addiction while you are gettting clean and after you have detoxed. Look into some rehab facilities you can go to and encourage your husband to do the same. You both have to be in this or you will have a much longer and more difficult road to travel.

Good luck to you! The quality of life you are looking for IS attainable drug free and my fiance is a testament to it. :) You can do it.

[Luckygirl05]

Thank you so much for your kind words of encouragement! I really appreciate all the support I have received on here... I think that my husband can be my biggest support through all of this as long as he puts his foot down if I get weak. I can't imagine rehab for either of us as I have no ins. and it is so costly and he works full time at a great job to support us. My recovery is something I believe that I can do on my own for now, or should I say without inpatient. I have begun an anti depressant as stated above and also counseling. I am really going to do this on my own with the love and support of my family. We no longer want to live like this and if it means I have to go through 2 weeks of h**l to get clean then so be it. I have had w/d's before several time when I ran out of pills so I know what to expect and it won't be pleasant to say the least... I can do this though, I know I can! I will keep you all posted if you care to hear about my progress. Thursday is my last day and Friday is the beginning of a better life for my family and I! Blessings to all of you, Christina

[gnarly_1]

HI Christina I just wanted to take a minute to encourage you to go thew with this..I was addicted to both pills for 10yrs then methadone for 6 1/2 yrs...being it was methadone at the end it took a grueling 8 1/2 mo to taper off of it going in and out of withdrawals thew out...I know what withdrawals are all about and there no fun...but they are doable ...you have to really want it bad...and it sounds like your ready for this madness to end...the first thing I tell most people is "you just got to be ok without being ok for a wile" it is only a temporary situation you will get thew it in about a week...use the time now to start preparing for your detox...look on the right hand side of the screen and go to the health pages and look up the Thomas recipe...there are things you can get that will help with your withdrawals..also I have found a few....go to walmart and pick up a 3 in one calcium/magnesium/zinc supplement its 6 bucks for 250...start taking 4 in the morning and 4 at dinner time right now it takes a couple of days for it to build up in your system but I found it cut down on the withdrawals considerabley my withdrawals where long and drawn out over months of time I wish I had found this sooner it really seamed to make a difference...try not to let the fear of the withdrawals into the equation ...its always worst in our minds then it actually is...my final withdrawal lasted a 7 day week it was no fun but it was doable I had been thew so much just getting there..remember this is 1/3 physical and 2/3 physiological so go into it with a win win attitude this is a battle one or lost in ones own mind...It would be a good idea to get all the pills out of reach..it is far to ez to slip up and take one when your miserable with withdrawals and this will only set you back to day 1..you must purge all of the narcotics out of your system you cant cheat and take a few to try and ez the withdrawals...YOU CAN DO THIS ..many here are exactly where your at so you willl have company doing this..many people buddy up with someone on here wile going thew it and do it together and support one another ...you will have plenty of support here we all want you to succeed ...the best 1 thing that I have found wile going thew this is a long hot bath ...dont under estimate how well this sooths the symptoms of withdrawal ...keep posting on here we all want to help...try not to have to much anxiety going into this..I know that part is hard but it dosent do any good ...I look forward to helping you thew this good luck and God bless......Gnarly              

[Luckygirl05]

Thank you so much for the good advise... I plan on going cold turkey as of Friday with Thursday being my last day. I am going to call my Dr. and let them know that I no longer wish to be prescribed narcotics. For now I got some tramadol that I think will help ease my pain yet it is not a narcotic in my state, synthetic opiate though so I hope to have comfort in that. I will be taking it 4x a day at 50 mg. I know I can do this and I am ready! I have to for my health and family who should always be first instead of my addiction... I am just going to try to give myself some time and rest. I don't seem to want to go out of the house like this but I will try to at least take a walk or something to get some sunshine. I am getting all the things I need for Thomas recipe tomorrow just to prepare. I may start taking them early?? What do you think? I am so happy that I am finally making this decision. I know it won't be easy but nothing worth doing in life is:) I hope you are well and that things are getting easier for you! Take care, Christina

[IBKleen]

Hi,

Glad to see you have a plan in place, however; are you aware that Tramadol is very addictive? Are you aware that it can be a serious health risk to come off of? So many people, including doctors, dismiss it as a "synthetic" and assume it is not harmful. Not so.

Please talk with the members here and ask questions before going that route.

Best of luck.

[Luckygirl05]

I do know that it is addictive yet I have taken over the prescribed amount before and with my tollerance it does absolutley nothing for me. When you are used to taking 6 vic or 4 perks then the Tramadol just doesn't do anything euphorically speaking. I have had it before and besides that one time I have never misused it. I know that I could always get other pills but that is what I am going to try just for the first little bit to get me through, It is certinally not something that I want to stay on but it should help ease my symptoms. My dr said it should be a good transition for me and I am hopeful:) I am happy to hear any suggestions? Let me know, Thanks

[avisg]

Tramadol is highly addictive and the wd is Hell .I strongly suggest you  stop .asap

[Luckygirl05]

I don't abuse Tramadol at all... I just wanted to use that to trasition out of the more heavy opiates that I have been on... To ease my w/d symptoms... Is that a bad idea??? I can't see myself becoming addicted to them as they do not create any euphoria for me but I am getting scared now that 2 ppl. have advised against me taking that to try to help with w/d's... Any more advise?? Isn't it better to take them to help me taper off the others? I have been taking 15-20 a day of vic, norco or oxy. I think that is a way lesser evil as it is not even a narcotic in Oregon? Please respond:) Thank you, C

[avisg]

I will tell you this I have wd off hydro oxy and tramadol tram was by far the worst I never took more the the max dose but the WD we soooooo bad I would get off that first .

[Luckygirl05]

That isn't one that I am currently taking. I called it in today at my pharmacy... I was just going to get 20 to help with the other symptoms as my other pills are nearly out. That was the advise of my dr but if you've done it and had bad symptoms I'm not sure if I should?

[Luckygirl05]

I didn't really know that Tramadol was even addictive since it is not a narcotic? Maybe I am ignorant to this drug? I just know that I have taken it before at 50 mg and it subsided my symptoms... I once took 5 of them and felt nothing. I am comparing that to what I usually take which is vic or perks at 5-6 each dose several times a day. I want to hear more about it since I was told this could be used to taper me off the narcotic pills I am addicted to. Is that a bad idea? Help:)

[avisg]

If you have been taking 15 to 20 pills a day of hydro ,and oxy I dont think that tramadol is going to do much to help you if anything it may end up prolonging your wd and when you stop the tram you will still have to go threw it .Now colondine its a blood pressure med would help your wd and its not addicting .I would talk to you doctor about it .

[avisg]

here is some info on tram

BTW its a synthetic opiate taking 5 or 6 at a time can also set you into sezuires ...


SOME INFO ON TRAMADOL  
I have seen alot of info latley on tramadol some every incorrect .So I thought I would put some infromation together so everyone will have a better understanding of it .

It is addicting
You do have ephoria
It should NOT be used by ANYONE with addiction issues.

What is the most important information I should know about tramadol?
Physical Dependence and Abuse

ULTRAM may induce psychic and physical dependence of the morphine-type (μ-opioid) (see DRUG
ABUSE AND DEPENDENCE). ULTRAM should not be used in opioid-dependent patients. ULTRAM
has been shown to reinitiate physical dependence in some patients that have been previously dependent on
other opioids. Dependence and abuse, including drug-seeking behavior and taking illicit actions to obtain
the drug, are not limited to those patients with prior history of opioid dependence

You should not take tramadol if you have ever been addicted to drugs or alcohol.
Seizures (convulsions) have occurred in some people taking tramadol. You may be more likely to have a seizure while taking tramadol if you have a history of seizures or head injury, a metabolic disorder, or if you are taking certain medicines such as antidepressants, muscle relaxers, or medicine for nausea and vomiting.

Take tramadol exactly as it was prescribed for you. Do not take it in larger doses or for longer than recommended by your doctor. Do not take more than 300 milligrams of tramadol in one day.

Seek emergency medical attention if you think you have used too much of this medicine. A tramadol overdose can be fatal. Overdose symptoms of a tramadol overdose may include drowsiness, shallow breathing, slow heartbeat, extreme weakness, cold or clammy skin, feeling light-headed, fainting, or coma. Tramadol may be habit-forming and should be used only by the person it was prescribed for. Tramadol should never be given to another person, especially someone who has a history of drug abuse or addiction. Keep the medication in a secure place where others cannot get to it. Tramadol can cause side effects that may impair your thinking or reactions. Be careful if you drive or do anything that requires you to be awake and alert. Do not stop using tramadol suddenly, or you could have unpleasant withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety, sweating, nausea, diarrhea, tremors, chills, hallucinations, trouble sleeping, or breathing problems. Talk to your doctor about how to avoid withdrawal symptoms when stopping the medication. Do not crush the tramadol tablet. This medicine is for oral (by mouth) use only. Powder from a crushed tablet should not be inhaled or diluted with liquid and injected into the body. Using this medicine by inhalation or injection can cause life-threatening side effects, overdose, or death.

What is tramadol?

Tramadol is a narcotic-like pain reliever.

Tramadol is used to treat moderate to severe pain. Tramadol extended-release is used to treat moderate to severe chronic pain when treatment is needed around the clock.

Tramadol may also be used for other purposes not listed in this medication guide.


What should I discuss with my healthcare provider before taking tramadol?

You should not take tramadol if you have ever been addicted to drugs or alcohol, if you are currently intoxicated (drunk), or if you have recently used any of the following drugs:
alcohol;

narcotic pain medicine;

sedatives or tranquilizers (such as Valium);

medicine for depression or anxiety;

medicine for mental illness (such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia); or

street drugs.

Seizures have occurred in some people taking tramadol. Your risk of a seizure may be higher if you have any of these conditions:

a history of drug or alcohol addiction;

a history of epilepsy or other seizure disorder;

a history of head injury;

a metabolic disorder; or

if you are also taking an antidepressant, muscle relaxer, or medicine for nausea and vomiting.

Talk with your doctor about your individual risk of having a seizure while taking tramadol.

Before taking tramadol, tell your doctor if you are allergic to any drugs, or if you have:

kidney disease;

liver disease;

a stomach disorder; or

a history of depression, mental illness, or suicide attempt.

If you have any of these conditions, you may need a dose adjustment or special tests to safely take tramadol.

FDA pregnancy category C. This medication may be harmful to an unborn baby. Tramadol may also cause serious or fatal side effects in a newborn if the mother uses the medication during pregnancy or labor. Tell your doctor if you are pregnant or plan to become pregnant during treatment. Tramadol can pass into breast milk and may harm a nursing baby. Do not use this medication without telling your doctor if you are breast-feeding a baby. Tramadol should not be given to a child younger than 18 years of age.
Tramadol may be habit-forming. Tell your doctor if you feel the medicine is not working as well in relieving your pain. Do not change your dose without talking to your doctor. Do not stop using tramadol suddenly, or you could have unpleasant withdrawal symptoms such as anxiety, sweating, nausea, diarrhea, tremors, chills, hallucinations, trouble sleeping, or breathing problems. Talk to your doctor about how to avoid withdrawal symptoms when stopping the medication. Store tramadol at room temperature away from moisture and heat. Keep track of how many pills have been used from each new bottle of this medicine. Tramadol is a drug of abuse and you should be aware if any person in the household is using this medicine improperly or without a prescription
Seizure Risk
Seizures have been reported in patients receiving tramadol within the recommended dosage range. Spontaneous post-marketing reports indicate that seizure risk is increased with doses of tramadol above the recommended range. Concomitant use of tramadol increases the seizure risk in patients taking:

•Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRI antidepressants or anorectics),
•Tricyclic antidepressants (TCAs), and other tricyclic compounds (e.g., cyclobenzaprine, promethazine, etc.), or
•Other opioids.
Administration of tramadol may enhance the seizure risk in patients taking:

•MAO inhibitors (see also WARNINGS - Use with MAO Inhibitors),
•Neuroleptics, or
•Other drugs that reduce the seizure threshold.
Risk of convulsions may also increase in patients with epilepsy, those with a history of seizures, or in patients with a recognized risk for seizure (such as head trauma, metabolic disorders, alcohol and drug withdrawal, CNS infections). In tramadol overdose, naloxone administration may increase the risk of seizure.


Serotonin Syndrome Risk

The development of a potentially life-threatening serotonin syndrome may occur with use of tramadol products, including ULTRAM ER, particularly with concomitant use of serotonergic drugs such as SSRIs, SNRIs, TCAs, MAOIs and triptans, with drugs which impair metabolism of serotonin (including MAOIs) and with drugs which impair metabolism of tramadol (CYP2D6 and CYP3A4 inhibitors). This may occur within the recommended dose. (See CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY-Pharmacokinetics).

Serotonin syndrome may include mental-status changes (e.g., agitation, hallucinations, coma), autonomic instability (e.g., tachycardia, labile blood pressure, hyperthermia), neuromuscular aberrations (e.g., hyperreflexia, incoordination) and/or gastrointestinal symptoms (e.g., nausea, vomiting, diarrhea

[ready2enjoylife]

I have a high tolerance as well, but I quickly became addicted to Tramadol. In fact withdrawaling from the Tramadol was much worse for me that coming off off the Vikes. I know that you want to have as little pain as needed, but I wouldn't recommend using the Tram. Tramadol also helps with your seratonin which makes you happy, so it's like taking a really strong antidepressant, and then once you stop taking them all HE$$ breaks loose. I have been addicted to several opiates including Methadone, and it would be much more worth it to just tough it out without the use of the Trams. Also, I would tell any dr.s you have that you have become dependent on these opiates and under no circumstances give you refill, you have to be honest with everyone. I hope that you are able to get through this as painfree as possible. I am on Day 11 of being off pain meds. I've had numerous attempts at sobriety, my longest was several months while attending a Suboxone program. I am doing quite well as of now, some anxiety still but I have dealt with anxiety before my addiction. And I notice you said you Dr. thought taking the Tramadol while detoxing would be a good transition. NO WAY!!! I would stay away from that Dr. No offense towards you, but Dr.s just don't realize the abuse potential of Tramadol. I, too have two kids, and have had to go through this horrible thing while still caring for them. I am not married, although I have a wonderful boyfriend that has stuck by my side through it all. IT is difficult, there is no way around it. Now that I have some days of sobriety, I am thankful and look at the W/D's like this,. If you were able to get off your Drug Of Choice without any pain or consequences why stop?? Look at the pain as a positive thing, I know that if I were to relapse and go back on opiates I would have to restart all my hard work, and go through pure he!! every time I fall off the wagon. IT's just not worth it, and definitely not good on your body. If you have any questions or want to chat please send me a message, I know all too well of opiate addiction, and feel like it could help if we talked:) Take care!

[ready2enjoylife]

Thanks for all the Tramadol info! I first started on Tramadol about 4 years ago for a back injury, since then I have had many many difficult times coming off that devil of a pill. Your very right, in that it's JUST AS addictive as an opiate, and is REALLY hard to come off of, and yes it will prolong her W/D's without a doubt!!

[ready2enjoylife]

Also, I wanted to add that MOST DEFINITELY your life will get better after opiates. I also know about depression and anxiety,and thought that taking opiates was the best thing ever. I was able to do anything, for the first few months anyhow. I became so involved in my addiction that I really started slacking on all my duties, all I wanted to do was sleep or lay around. The uppity doesn't last forever. Remember that! AS time goes on, things WILL get worse if you stay in this addiction. I look at things day by day, you have to. Or else you become too overwhelmed. It's rough having kids, but I tell you from experience I have noticed that my kids have HELPED me to stay more focused, and having to stay busy and care for them, helps with cravings as well. There hasn't been a day yet that I haven't briefly though of a pill, but I'm not getting the super anxiety feeling when I do, and the cravings don't last. You do have to get everything that is a negative influence or a possible relapse far away. Use whatever support you can get.

[avisg]

ready,
Unforutly lots of people have to find out the hard way about tramadol.It is a nasty withdrwl .You gave some great info ...Welcome to the forum

[Luckygirl05]

Wow, I am shocked... I never thought of Tramadol as even being potentially misused. I have a bad addiction, not just to opiates but also stimulants... I have misused most anything that comes in pill form. If it says that may cause dizziness/drowsiness of euphic effects then down the shoot it went. I see exactly where you all are coming from. The effects when I have taken it have however not been euphoric in the least. It surprises me that after telling my dr. that I had a problem with narcotics that he would prescribe me Tramadol to help me off? He said that it was not a narcotic and I could use as many as I need until I break the addiction from my other meds. I guess he must think that because it is not a narcotic that I wouldn't get addicted? I don't know... He is a great Dr. but I have to take it from other ppl in my situation and ppl that have been there. I doubt my dr is taking pills hand over fist like I do. Tram does seem like a lesser evil to be but sounds still evil none the less. I appreciate the information very much!

[ready2enjoylife]

No problem! I wish I had known all of this before I started using the Trams, but I had a part of me that didn't care at the time of any form of addiction. Again, I've had issues with other drugs so I have a huge addictive personality. And it's really not surprising that your Dr. assumes that Tramadol isn't addictive, it's just sad how one doesn't know!! How are you feeling today? Are you off the opiates completely yet? Anything can become an easy addiction if you are an addict, just remember that.

[ready2enjoylife]

Just stopping through to see how your doing?!?

[Shanncan]

I was coming on here for support on How long does it take to feel normal again was? I am on day 17 and it hasn't gotten easier, even though my sickness is gone I still don't sleep good, wake up sweating, still sneezing and get chills, but worse of all I have have absolutely NO energy and my brain just won't function, every thing is so hard to do, but I have 3 kids and 1 step child all ranging from 2 yrs to 12 yrs old that I have to take care of, so more than anything I just want to feel normal and be able to do for them. That's what makes it so hard, but I have to remind myself all day to look at this as long term because short term would be to take a pill and feel better but that would only be for that day and then what about tomorrow, so that has helped because I know that my daily pill use got me no where but here even though then I thought it made me super mom, more outgoing, happy, able to do everything I needed and now look I am more miserable, unmotivated, lost, confused than ever before. I have never experienced dipression or so unhappy with myself ever in my whole 30 years of living!!         But back to you, already you have done the most important and first step you have admitted you have a problem and even more you were open and honest about it and your reaching out for help, so really your already in step 4 in the 12 step program so you should definitely be proud of that!! I wish I could tell you more but I'm only on day 17 but I will definitely keep you posted as I progress because if anything this was my first time ever posting or writing about my recovery and I must admit this is the first time today of feeling any relief, so thank you for your honesty it really helped me.  Thanks and we can do this!!  

[mrLing]

I am almost the same like you. Just that i am not married and have no child. Addicted to codeine. Depressed till not even getting out of bed for couple of days. Helpless. Thoughts of when i am getting the next fix keeps bombing inside my head. Knew it is totally wrong yet can't stop cause of the withdrawals. Until one day i summoned the courage to tell my mum about it. Told her frankly whats happening to me, why the sudden changes in personality etc. Immediately, make a call and got an appointment with a detox specialist. Now under detox treatments. You are not alone. Hope you and your husband overcome the problems. May we succeed in the war against opiates.

[mrLing]

Share your problems with someone you loved. He/she must be clean tho. Supports from loved ones definitely helps you in some ways.

[mrLing]

I agree with grace1208 that you need to cut of contacts with anyone who is also addicted and is not trying to quit.

[Mukinnut]

Wow, these write ups totally scream out everything I've gone thru, going thru and want to kno. I m recovering from opiate dependency for chronic pain n disease conditions. I've been off hydromorph for 2wks now n would give almost anything to have my energy back. I cannot accomplish much n what i do is done thru pushing myself extremely hard n it is hard. When does the energy come back? When do u feel "normal" again? Its awful, so hard to care for my children n husband, i want the old, me back, baaaaad!

[mamachels86]

I'm on week 6 of my sobriety after being hooked on painpills and adderal and I'm doing much better. I have a 4 yr old son and 6 yr old daughter. I never had a problem with pills until I came home from the hospital with my 2nd child and realized after the pain was gone that HEY these pain pills give me energy to clean house, get up with a baby, & take care of my 2 yr old. Just like you I found myself taking more and more to feel the same effect. Then I made the mistake of going to a methadone clinic for 2 years which is much worse believe it or not to come off of not to mention I gained 30lbs. I eventually weaned off it but still felt like HELL for the first week. I feel much better but am still kinda depressed trying to learn all over again how to live without being dependant on meds.

[Ronin0204]

I'm have been clean from opiates for 24 days now, I used daily for 6 years and after loosing everything I had I finally decided to make a change. So I checked my self into a detox/treatment facility, first 2 weeks were hell, all I wanted to do was die, eventually I started feeling better physically, but emotionally I'm still damaged.  I had dealt with or felt any emotion in so long from opiates, so it hit me all at once and I'm still trying to deal with it all.  After I left the treatment program (successfully) I returned home, then the depression and overwhelming anxiety set in and from what I'm being told by doctors and such this may continue for a year or so.  This makes recovery a hitch for sure, I figured I would detox and bounce back,  not the case !!!! Best advice I can give is get involves with aa or na, get a sponser and work this steps, so far this is my only savior.  Structure is good too, the more time u spend sitting around isolating the more you wanna relapse, for me that's not an option...as bad as I feel now doesn't even compare to how bad I felt using drugs everyday just to get outta bed and function. When the pain to stay the same is worse than the pain to change, we will change!!!  My life is in gods hands now, I just take it day my day and try to stay busy and out of my own head, and in time hopfully ill be restored to sanity and be able to live a normal life soon.  It's Sux but there is no easy way out of opiate addiction it's a long hard road but if u want it bad enough and are willing to ask for help it can be done.  The disease of addiction is powerful and beyond doctors and medicine, it's proven that the wisdom and knowledge and help of other recovering addicts  has the highest success rate for recovery so I can't stress enough to ask for help

[Lizzzylou]

I am actually now starting the painful process of withdrawal! I hate myself! I hate my life the way it is right now! I feel like crap and don't have the energy to do anything nor the desire ! The even bigger pro Len is that NO ONE know! I am living this hell by myself! I don't want anyone to know! I am too ashamed and embarrassed to admit what I am!!!!  I am not sure I'm strong enough to do this because the real truth is that if I had a pain pull right now I would have taken it with out a second thought !

[selfinduced]

Oh Dear, I could have written this post. Chin up. Your in the acute phase of w/d and all your emotions are running wild. Is there someone you can confide in to help you shoulder the burden? Were you getting your pills from a Dr. that you could talk to about giving you meds to soften things? This is not hopeless and you'll get thru. Are you taking supplements? Tell us what your symptoms are and how much of what you were taking and others will chime in with help. Your not alone. Just don't use, you'll only prolong this pain.

[selfinduced]

Hey Lizzy, You may want to start a new thread as this is a bit old and may get overlooked. Good luck......keep posting.

[Baydesmommy]

Hi,
I just want to start of by saying that everything everyone is saying is pretty much the same thing I went through for 2 years I'm a young mother of two! Today I am 21 days into being clean off of norcos I was up to 11 a day not all at once in the am I would take 4 and the rest through out the day it took about a week to go threw WD which was the worse week of my life today at 3 weeks clean I feel better but i still have 0 energy everyone keeps telling me I will get it back and I keep fighting but at the same time I think to myself is this ever going to end and its hard knowing that all I have to do to get that energy is just take a couple but honestly it's not worth it cause of the WD I went threw to get to here so I guess my ? Is when will I get my natural energy back cause I'm tired of this!

[gnarly_1]

HI  I realy hate to see people so hopeless with drug addiction  it dosent have to be this way  after 35 yrs as an addict on and off I finely found solitude in the rooms of N/A....it is time for you to start living your life again and you can as I have by going to meetings treating your addictin and I found after much trial and error  this works if you work it  please take time to check it out  meanwil keep posting for support .......Gnarly