I need some serious help here, my husband is recovering from being an alcoholic, he's gone 8 months without a drink. He's on several medications including adderall and klonipin. He sees a psych doc along with a substance abuse counselor. But he lies to all of us. I'm the only one who has found him out. He takes opiates every few weeeks or so, he snorts his adderall, crushes his extended release xanax..he's moody,cold,aloof...except when opiated and then I get to enjoy the phony love so common with being high. Last week he relapsed and drank for two days..he takes antabuse but I had forgotten it for a few days so he of course drank as soon as he could. Well, he pulls his back out on Friday,goes to the emergency room, procures 30 Percocet which he takes in 2 days..5 mg strength. I told him yesterday I'm thinking of committing him to a drug treatment program because I've reached the end of my rope..he promptly said he would divorce me. His drug counselor said the next time he relapses he needs to go to treatment but I'm not sure the drug counselor can forcibly make him do so..but his recovery seems a sham anyway since he's been lying about snorting adderall and crushing his benzos anyway ,plus drinking poppy tea..Can I have him forcibly sent to drug treatment? I know he may divorce me but I can't go on like this..i'm a wreck.
Have you tried codependents anonymous meetings? It sounds like he is just scared. You shouldn't have to pay the price for his fear though. I don't know about forcible drug treatment. I do know that if the person doesn't have a desire to get clean it isn't likely that they will.
Best of luck to you and I hope you start focusing more on yourself. There is help and hints out there with groups like naranon and alanon also. THese are people who have loved ones addicted to druga and/or alcohol. You can google it and find local meetings virtually everywhere.
Sorry to hear about the troubles with your husband....it is horrible to watch another distroy their life and yours while they are at it and then to just not care as they tend to tell us. I have been through something very similar with my father....this is the thing...you must first evaluate yourself. No I am not crazy! You have to figure out how you are going to get the messgae across to your husband that this is not ok. You ahev to decide is it fight or flight with the relationship....you have to decide if you can be the cold and tough bytch because this is what he needs at this point.
if you can then this is what you could consider....this is what I have done with my father...
When out on a crack binge that lasted 5 days, nothing unusual for my dad, and having taken all of his disability check, the only source of income ha and my mother have, i finally called the cops on my dad and spoke to an officer that I had went to high school with. I told him the situation and explained how my dad was a street smart guy who knew the ins and outs of the community, where to buy, where to hide, where to blend in etc.....I explained what he was driving, wearing,, where he could be, and what he was doing....I ultimately had him arrested for possesion. He recieved probation, some out patient classes and meetings and 10 months later was arrested in another county and is now on probation in two counties. He found a lawyer who will get him off and is enrolled in an outpatient program and attends classes. The problem is he has figured out the ins and outs of the program and has continued to participate in his irresponsible actions.
I have inquired about forcing him into rehab. You can do one of two things...either you can have him arrested and don't bail him out, and when he sees the judge explain your situtaion and his need, or you can have him arrested and show evidence of how hos addiciton has ruined your life...example being you are in dab=nger of loosing your home, you have been behind on bills, your childern are going without, etc....and petition for a temporay lose of his rights with you being declared his guardain over all medical and financial matters therefore you being able to have him commited.....
hope this helps, and sorry to babble about my dad........
I do agree with taking care of yourself and getting the support from other families who are going through this. As a recovering addict I was told at the rehab that addicts are master self centered manipulators, and will say or do anything to feed the addiction (which I did). I have also heard that even in a locked facility they do need to give their consent, but I wonder if talking to the drug counselor would help. I know they can't talk to you about things that have been said in the sessions but perhaps can direct you on what to do.
I would ask Duchess Golden about being committed to rehab against his will...she is prob your best bet for the most accurate answer...I've read her posts and I think she is a psych doc, husband an addiction doc, so maybe she knows??
plz listen to tzt, this is about YOUR life to. Find a support group for yourself and get involved. This will let him know that you love him and are willing to support him in RECOVERY but it will also tell him that you are aware of his addiction and your support group serves 2 purposes, 1 - to understand his addiction and support him in any way possible in his recovery and a new life for you both,,2 - to understand his addiction and not be his co dependant and let him know that YOUR life is moving forward and youd like to do this together but you WILL NOT live in his addiction. This is an action move,the arguments are over ( they probably werent productive anyway ) and its time to start living the life every family deserves. Hard decisions will have to be made and at some point even ultimatums but you can say that YOU gave it your all. gl and everyone in this forum is praying for you I"m sure
thanks everyone for the insight and support. I won't be having him sent to treatment against his will. i realize that even if were possible it wouldn't be the right answer. I just brought him lunch and I expressed my hurt at him taking all the percocet this weekend. he just started yelling and said I needed to quit being mad at him, I said I was hurt but not angry..(of course I'm angry) but I wasn't yelling I was talkning calmly. then he says "i"m just a piece of ****" meaning him..and I said I wasn't assessing his character just reacting to this weekend's events. He then just kept reiterating that I need to stop being mad at him..I asked if I should just turn a blind eye to all of this..to which he said no, but then started ranting and left me in a huff.. oh, and demanded some of my lorazapam because of course he's already out of his xanax.. this happens every month.. Trust me, I'm so used to this behavior that I manage to block a lot of it out..but if I want to go spend the night with a friend or get some time away from him number one there won't be anyone to give him antabuse and number two, he will end up threatening suicide..or at least there's a very good chance of that.. so this is why I'm at the end of my rope... When I'm at work I feel ok..have some peace and calm, when I'm home I feel like my world is caving in on me..sorry for ranting here.. i just have no idea what to do..
Do you have children? If you do you really need to think about them and how your husbands behavior is affecting them. You may not have children and even still you need to see how this affecting you. It is great that you are loyal but by giving him your medicine (the lorazepam) you are enabling him. Have you thought about telling his doctors who prescribe his medications (the adderall and such) that he abuses them?
You are really is a tough situation. What about his family, can you get any assistance from his parents or a good friend he has or something?
Alcohol is a depressant, which means it slows the function of the central nervous system..........
Alcohol actually blocks some of the messages trying to get to the brain...........
So you are dont use the alcohol.............
As a friend i would say you "dont use alcohol"........
I think you are all accept my thought..........
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