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now this is just regarding myself... for me, i have to be really careful what meds i take esp. narcotics... i will manufacture pain to give myself a free high here and there... by no means am i a martyr... i had kidney stones a few weeks ago and i had to take pain meds... but it is scary every time i need to take narcotics... to easy to mess up...
in your case you may really need to take something stonger for your cough, i don't know... i am sure the doc will be around soon to tell you if you CAN take that tussionex with the bup! good luck either way and i hope you feel better soon!
amber
Thanks
-Cold..
Burn
This was supposed to be day #1 for me. I hit snooze on my alarm clock and apparently slept through it the second time, so I didn't go to work this morning. Must have been the 2.5 mg of xanax it took to get me to sleep last night (since I tapered to about 20 mg snorting oxycontin). Well I am out of OC and don't have anymore lortab either...I had 3 lortabs 7.5 for when things got really bad, and I couldn't help myself this morning after my shower. I was just sooooooo drained feeling. ANyway, one good thought is that now (35 min after taking the three lortabs) I feel like superman again... Usually 20mg of hydro wouldn't affect me this much.
SO, here I go...cold turkey... =(
Anne
Anne
N.O. Lady AKA Mystere
Anne
Does anyone every have "yawning attacks" when you come off opiates? It no big deal, but it always happens to me. Kinda embarassing when you're in a meeting or talking to a co-worker. Does anyone know why this happens? Just curious.
Anne
Can anyone tell me how long it is safe to take Rx sleep aides during, and after detox? I'm doing pretty well, only w/d symptoms I have are freezing during the day, then hot, hot heat at night (I have to sleep w/o anything on, open the window, and turn my ceiling fan on, and it's still very chilly where I am), and of course the not sleeping thing.
Of course I do not want to get addicted to Rx sleep aides, but right now, I really need my sleep.
Thanks much for any info.
Burn
Anne
Gracie97--How are you doing? day 8 and going strong I hope!
I think the AA gods are on my case for spouting off AA heresies, because my sponsor wants to meet w/ me before my mtg tomorrow.....About something she'd "rather not discuss on the phone". ???? Sex? Drugs? Rock and roll?? LOLOL No, I don't think so, either.....I think she's sensing that my heart isn't in the program, and she's concerned that I might "GO BACK OUT" one of their favorite slogans....First of all, she needs to work HER own program, and I'll work MINE......Secondly, what happened to the famous slogan," Take what you want and leave the rest?" Or were they just kidding?? Because I DON'T believe everything she does, and I'm NOT madly in love w/ AA and will not make it my second addiction!! Let's see, now---I've been sober 16 months, quit smoking for 4, lost 30 pounds or more, got in the best, most fit shape of my life, attend mtgs and go to my professional group therapy, and see my drug counselor regularly. Yep----I'm on a CRASH course, I see that plainly.....I'm headed for TROUBLE!!!!
Well, I'll get back to you on that.
But!! Look at you, Missy!!! You are just an awesome example of motivation and determination and I am so proud of you!!! There is a WORLD of difference in you as a person between last week and this one. Incredible!! And I see you posting to others to help them as much as you can, and it doesn't get any better than that.....What goes around, comes around, for certain. God bless you, Anne--hats off to ya!! Love, Peazy
Anne
Anne
Hope you have access to a puter, Steve. Hippee and others saved me my 1st WD weekend.
The Frey book: I agree. Unorthodox style, but it grows on the reader. I had mean to photocopy one pg. (2nd graph and pg 141 and one other pg. prior), but I never got @ to it.
So the book is in the mail, Dancin', as of yesterday. I sent in the cheapest way possible (I might be able to get the dope outta my system, but the bargain hunter's gotta stay.) (IE: I mailed it in the cheapest way)
Anyhoo, I had to fill outta ass of info as it was going across the border to Canada. For a book. The P.O. guys looked in pkg, flipped through the book, etc. I felt like a criminal (similar to waiting for the pharmacist to fill a legal script).
The P.O. guy said maybe 5 days 'fore the book arrives in Canada, unless it gets humg up in Customs. Doubtful, as there is nothing for the dogs to sniff, not even a drop of residue.
I decided not to copy to 2 Frey pages I wanted: 1. They would Just get lost in the myriad piles of Junk I already save. 2. Not many (none) of my friends or famBly know of this dirty laundry anyway. (Years ago, 10, I claimed "alcoholism", long story- but it saved my ass; although alcohol, in truth, bores me)
I did, however, at first ask my hubby if he would mail the book for me. He asked why I was sending it to a girl in Canada. I told her I had met/read her words on an addiction board. That piqued his curiosity. (He writes for a living. I can definitely mail you some of his work if you wish, e-mail) I replied to him that peeps here, and other recovery boards, were sooo nice, not dregs of Earth as the GP (general population) thinks.
He agreed. "Recovering addicts are." He has been through Al-Anon (for me) some decade ago see above^), so he knows all the phrases. Prolly agrees w/ them for that matter. He is wayyyyy religious, not that I couldn't bone up on my secular knowledge, but I am not he in my views at all.
All that ramblin' was to prove, or say, that Peaz, you have a great life, certainly a great aspect/outlook. I wouldn't weigh 2 cents on a pro-advocate lecture you +may+ be about to receive @ A/A. A friend who has embraced A/A for years told me that asking an A/A convert if meetings were important was like asking a cowboy w/ hemmrhoids (sp) if he should still ride.
Mystere: you are doing great. Though I may be farther in my recovery (time wise) than you, I don't feel so far maturity wise. IE: I still have myriad thoughts of using. I even cashed the script for the Vikes. DUMB. I had thought I was holding on to a script for 18, but it was filled for fifteen VikeES. Now I want to call the oral surgeon, or the pharmacist, and ask who was wrong: he or I?
Now. That is the epitomy of a setback. What difference does it make (15 vs. 18) if I am not planning to take them?
As an aside to a possible setback, my hubby has left town for the weekend, leaving me to care for things, including the puppy who is a mixture of sooo many dogs, perhaps even YIKES.. Pit Bull!
I, as a reward, for having the hovel to myself, decided to cash the script in case something happened. I can't believe how dumb that sounds, kinda like I am soo prescient that I can predict a broken/sprained ankle.
The other reason I took the day off (unpaid; I am out of sick days) is that I am generally up 4-6 night a week w/ one of my errant (almost adult) kids who frequently spends the entire night out (w/o caling) while I lie in bed listening to sirens and rehashing horror stories accompanying same.
Ah, for the years the kids were two, and all I worried about was the constant bickering and kiddy illnesses.
I have rambled about here. I follow all the stories on this board, though, and admire the courage, advice and strengths through your (all of you) struggles.
Time to enjoy this stolen day off by watching TV trash, visiting Lacy Petersen and Elizabeth Smart boards, checking in the myriad addiction boards, reading, playing Yahoo Bridge and Spades, and taking the hyper Pit Bull/Chow/Lab (mix) to the beach, hunting for sharks' teeth, and hopefully refraining from yammering here.
I worry now, tho, that hubby will visit these same boards now that he knows I do. I hope not. He quit snooping years ago when he saw that he had to live his life, not mine.
rwc~
Anyway, I actually slept well last night even though I had to get up three times to use the bathrrom. Thats a very awkward experience mind you...waking up at 1 AM with the xanax still blazing, having to dash/crash/stumble to the bathroom still half way asleep... =)
But I was able to go back to sleep pretty easily. Well, it's time for me to go to work. This is going to be interesting...at least it's Friday.
steve, i hope you are doing okay, don't let your age or how young you are or any of that outside **** make you feel different from anyone on this board, you are not any different! just a pill head (addict) whatever term you are most comfortable with (for me "junkie" does just fine!) i can relate to the pills helping social phobia b/c they really do, for a minute at least! lol!! the trade off is just not worth it though...
anne, hey girl!!! i love seeing you post here, you remind me of a lady i was in treatment with four years ago whos hubby was a physician!
and peaz, YOU ARE DOING GREAT, OMG!!! your sponsor is just trying to "do her job" that is how some of them are! and sponsors can be laid off, fired, or just talked to and set straight! maybe she isn't the one for you... you will know more after you hear her out, let us know how it goes!!
looked up a book site and read up a little bit on james freys book! i asked my husband to get me four books for mother's day: james frey "a million little pieces", william burroughs "junky", kurt cobains "journal" and to round it all off "rational recovery" anyhow, that is my wish list, don't bore me with diamonds!!
and delsym cough syrup is the **** as far as cough syrup goes, it does work great so that was a great suggestion, forgot about that one! that explain why it tastes so much like tussionex, minus the nasty little addition of hydrocodone!
i have still been having using dreams... if i ever get to post a question here LOL, i would ask the doc about that but it is really not that big of a deal, more of a curiosity!
peace ya'll,
amber
Don't recall speaking to either of you in the past and I haven't posted in about a week or so (here in South East corner of Michigan
Anycase my comment is to Steve. Buddy, don't I know where you are coming from! I have a two year old daughter, work full time (Mechanical Engineer) and go to school a couple nights a week for my MSME. Since Katelyn's been alive, I was high everyday, always energetic, always ready to be her play toy...Had no problems handling work and school (though it was hard to think out some of my thermo assignments)
I worked my way up to taking 20 10mg Vicodon HP's everyday for 4 years. My withdrawl was HELL...It lasted a good two weeks. But I went to my doctor, told him what was up and on top of giving me some valume to help me sleep, he gave me an anti-depressant to keep me from crawling out of my skin.
I got past it dude...I'm 6weeks clean, without a setback, I still crave but, remembering my daughter's face when daddy said he was too sick to play with her???? That is enough of a deterrant for me to stay clean.
Do the same man, it sounds like you are going strong! Keep it up! REMEMBER THE TIME DAD COULDN'T TAKE HIS KID TO THE BEACH BECAUSE OF THE {cough} FLU...That will help. Believe me. Through this whole ordeal, the person I cared about hurting the most wasn't me or my wife...It was my little girl.
All my best, Rob
I live in Huntsville, AL... I was refering to Birmingham, AL earlier, sorry, I hope this doesn't make everyone ignore me now...we're not as redneck as everyone thinks. =)
I AM taking my son to the beach this weekend, I just meant that I might have to get my brother to play with him if the WD get bad. The Imodium (immodium) isn't working 100%...I almost shat myself at work a few times...my legs feel like I need to stretch them constantly and I have a constant urge to kick something really hard. I'm fully of energy but at the same time I caught myself leaning over my car as I fill it up with gas a few minutes ago. My stomach feels like a boiling mess, I get dizzy when I stand up, but I feel better than I expected thanks to the meds I'm taking. Plus I tapered considerably before quitting.
The cravings are getting worse. I know that with every hour that goes by that I haven't taken anything, (26), the more effect a few precious hydros would have on me. One call and within an hour I'd be floating...sigh....I'm not going to though, I'm going to beat this and hopefully never go back to them. I'm leaving in a few hours, I might post a few more before I leave, but if not, see you Sunday night.
Steve
Anne
My son is here now watching a movie. It's not so bad, with the right meds/knowledge/support. When I feel like I can't take it anymore, I just tell myself I deserve it and I shouldn't have gotten addictted again because I knew better. In rehab they told us it is a disease, which I believe, but at the same time it gave me the feeling of "well if it's a disease then I can't help, it's not my fault" then people end up going right back to their drug of choice and Bradford gets rich. Sorry, I had a bad experience with Bradford...but that's a long story.
I'm leaving in about three hours (around 8:30 C.S.T) I'll check in when I get back Sunday night.
Stephen
I'm new at posting...should I keep posting on this question, the top one, or what? I can't ever ask my own question because it's always full.
You guys have a great weekend, I'll write when I get back!
RStew, how old are you? My son just turned 3, I'm 22, getting my B.S.E. in mechanical engineering next summer. I might go for my MS degree in propulsion since I work with missiles (co-op student). I think I scared someone yesterday when they heard a missile engineer was snorting oxys and poppin' hydros and percs. Don't worry, no errant missiles have go over in farmer bubba's barn and killed any cows yet... =)
Anyway, we seem to be in very similar situations. Ever aced a test after studying on those vikes? For me, it clears my head of everything bothering and gives me a TON of energy to study/raise my son/etc/etc/etc--
How did you get 20 Vicoden per day??? I bought 10mg hydros for 4-6 dollars each and an 80 mg oxy cost me 60-75 dollars. I could never get a script and I was always the lowest on the totem poll in the street market.
Pain pills get everyone don't they, especially the well to do, geniouses, football players, cheerleaders, rich, etc. Wonder why? If someone had told me oxycontin was like heroin, I never would have touched it. But I guess once it's in your body, all opiates are about the same.
there is a good one called SAINT MARY BLUE, about
a write er experence in rehab by barry longyear.
then there is one addiction, a banquit to the grave
by welsh , you might like them.
steve, i was reading your post, i hope all is well.
you can get a question in between 8 am and 11 am.
if not just ask away
seems like i was a single father with a 6 year old daughter and a 3 year old son just the other day.
but my son just finished his 1st year at sarycuse, 4.0
and my daughters son will be 5 years old on sunday.
i just got her husband in the carpnter union,
life go's by so fast.
i grew up , in the hood as child, a few foster homes,
my mother came from a wealthy quaker famly who wanted her to be a doctor, like my grandmother, but she married my father a irish
alcoholic and they cut her out of the famly.
i got clean at 24 and raised my kids in the suburbs, they grew up normal. because i satyed clean for 16 years.
then pain meds took over my life, but did not stop me from
quater million dollar home further out in the burbs
with my wife i met in na. her parents left us the money
to pay for it cash. after 3 years of vikkes and some oxys,
im clean agian for a year,
ive been going to na meeting for 26 years now , and have seen
the damage of addiction up close and personal, watched my younger brother o.d after being clean for many years,
the moral to the story is get clean if ya want to have a life for yourself and kids.
well its 4 in the morning and im just reading all the post,
could not sleep. so im just rambling.
i hope all go's well for you, sounds like you have a shot at a bright future for yourself and famly.
addiction can steal all that away, so never underestamte it ,
and do what ever it takes to get clean,
being clean with you kids is a much better high then any drug.
forgive my rambling
peace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hipy
When I got out of high school I wanted to be a rock star. I've been playing guitar since I've been 8 and without trying to sound too cocky, I am exceptionally good (I am trained in most styles of music; classic, jazz, blues and I tought myself how to jam out to my favorite type of music (80's METAL/ 90's alternative) Didn't get serious and go to college until I got married in '90. (Met my wife in one of the bars we played in so I guess it wasn't all bad!)
I'm 35 now. Lori and I wanted to wait to be sure we would actually stay together before we raised a family (we waited 9 years) We Got to do a lot of traveling. But I don't miss it. Katie is my pride and joy!
Yea, I never really had problems with the Math. Diff Eq's, Calc, I blew through that stuff 20 minutes after my 50mg dose.
Steve I'm not trying to put ideas into your head dude but you can always find a doctor that will fake documents and prescribe meds for you (if the price is right) I started taking Darvon given to me by my doc and they worked fine...But a buddy of mine told me about a doctor that would give me the "good stuff" for 40 buck a visit. He'd write me a script for 60 Vicodon HP's and I'd go back and see him in 3 more days...He'd do it again (Hell he even told me how to switch up pharmacies and pay w/o insurance at some so they could never track the scripts between)
So for anywhere between 60 bucks and 120 bucks a pop I got 60 pills...It got very costly but I had the money so...No harm / no foul!
I've rattled on long enough man, STAY CLEAR of the launch button on those missles you are working on, and I'll talk to you soon.
Rob
Hippee,
Thanks for the "rambling" it made me think about things I hadn't considered. Although, I'd have to disagree about one thing...Playing with your kids WHILE on drugs is better than wither of the two alone...heh heh just kinding, kind of. =)
as far as the children thing,
love is the drug that im looking for,
when you lose your kids , then get them back
it puts a whole new perspestive on having them.
last night i spent a few hours with my daughter and grandson,
it was his birthday, so i took him shopping and got him some hulk stuff.
im glad i am clean and have the love and time and money to offer them.
so many of us have been to hell and back, we are all very blessed here at this fourm. to even have found this place for some of us , is a small miricle.
it is always a pleasure to share experence, our daily ups and downs, one addict helpiong another is with out parallel,
keep posting and sharing , we need ya
peace!!!!!hippy
These Ultracets are definetly not complete non-narcotics...I had a 101.9 ºF temperature this morning and was aching bad so I took twice the dosage. The pain went away and I felt a little bit euphoric, but nothing like hydro or oxy. I just hope I don't have any withdrawals from them. I'm only about 3 pills short of what I should have left in the bottle, they'd all be gone if this were a few weeks ago, so I think I'm doing good.
As for you, you didn't intentionally break your neck, right? So, don't act like you put yourself in this situation. I would consider telling your doctor about your addicition problems...well, maybe at least tell him that you are much more sensitive to wothdrawals than most people you've talked to. Hopefully he'll allow you to come down slowly. Switching to Lortabs or Vikes is a lot easier than trying to go off them without! I would recommend tapering down off the OC as much as possible, add some ibuprofen in between doses to see if that can get you to prolong the length of time between ther OC doses. You can also use your addiction to your benefit in doing this alos...just think "I wanna take some now, but if I wait another 3 hours, it'll feel much better!" This helped me eventually get where was waiting also a full day between doses, and the amounts went down too. When ou get down to about 30mg OC per day, if you can, switch to hydrocodone...The best would be Vicoprofen (hydro and ibuprofen) ask your doc if he will give you that when you're ready to switch.
Just remember that you had an accident and take it slow. Your doctor might take it easier on you if you tell him more about how the withdrawals effect you. Good Luck!!!