My husband and I are seperated right now but part of the seperation was because he was addicted to downers. He would take hydrocodone, xanax, and even oxycotin (when he could get a hold of it) on a daily basis by the handfulls. Then he would drink a six pack of smirinoffs everynight. He would get so messed up he wouldn't be able to stand straight. His words would be slurred and he would fall asleep in mid sentence.
He is now clean and still fighting the want, but he has absolutely no sex drive. We are considering getting back together but I see his no sex drive as being a problem. Can he has lost his sex drive because of the addiction?? If so is there anything we can do to bring it back??
We are working on our problems and looking for help with this one. It may not seem like a major problem to some but it hurts me to be rejected by the one man I want to want me the most.
Your sex drive is very much affected by pill addiction. During our using it is usually non existant. Give it some time and it will come back. Usually it comes back in overdrive!!!! Glad to hear he is clean. Tell him to keep fighting as it is so worth it. Make sure you take care of yourself too. Addiction affects the whole family. sara
Yes you will loose your sex drive on pills but have faith it will come back like sara said but it will take time,it is not your man rejecting you it is the addiction,please be patient and good luck to you.
YES, YES, YES, What Sara said is absolutely right on. It does come back and when it does it will probably be with a vengeance. I would also warn him that ALL of his appetites will return -- many people report this along with things like weight gain -- food tastes so much better -- also, like Sars mentioned, sex. Family time becomes more important that it ever was - lots of fun things in store - count on it. Don't leave just when the fun is about to start. All the best.
Thanks so much for the fast response!! I have posted on other forums and it can take up to two days to get a response. Y'all are quick!
I reposted that post to this forum because someone in the sexual health site told me that yall could help me better with understanding what he is going through then what they could. We are back together and I should mention he is the one that moved out not me. I was a party pooper in his eyes because I was fighting him so hard to give it all up if not for me then for his children. I couldn't sleep for fear he would die in his sleep because of a dangerous mixture of pills and alcohol. He had a seizure first one in his life the other day and they are blaming it on withdrawal and low blood sugar.
His appetite isn't back yet but I do see an increase in his eating. He doesn't hang with anyone any more which is a good thing because all of his friends where either alcoholics or drug user's of some sort.
What else can I expect from his withdrawal's?? How can I help him?
Depends on what stage he is in; If he is already detoxed, then he will just need time to get his energy level back. The Amino Acids help a lot - also The Thomas Recipe (both are at the bottom right of this screen). The biggest thing he can do is give it time -- hope he is totally off of ALL opiates -- if so then he will recover and you will have a new man chasing your around the bedroom each evening :). The only other thing you can do is encourage him to go to an AA or NA meeting each week (or more often) that also will help. Then listen when he needs to talk. Things will get better as long as he doesn't use again. All the best. Please keep posting - and let him read this site - it is very very good for him to also post and read -- it really does help.
Seizures are probably from the alcohol w/d is he being monitered by the DR.? you can also expect extreme fatigue,depression (please use the amino acid protocol ) at the bottom of this page on the right hand side,also nausea sleeplessness,anxiety ,thoes seem to be the most common but everyone is different,but don't give up he can beat this and you both will be so much happier and stronger for it.Merry Christmas what a great present,clean and sober! snowflake
I would like to add wd is a emotional time as he may display emotions that are not normal for him such as being weepy.. This will pass.. You may want to get him out and walking seeing the sights when time permits the change of scenery and exercise go a long way into helping us deal with the anxiety associated with wd.. I wish you both a long and happy marriage.. lesa
I am not sure if he is completely through the detox. I think he is still taking pain pills on occasions. He says he has to because he hurts. I am not for sure what he is taking because he won't tell me but he isn't drinking any more and he isn't getting as messed up. I figure give it a little time without the alcohol and I will push to eliminate all pills as well.
He will not post on here but does read them because I print them out and give them to him. He hates computers! Mainly because he doesn't understand them and doesnt want to learn.
snowflake: Yes he is being monitored by the Dr. for his seizures. I am praying that won't ever happen again. Luckily I was home when it happened. As far as the fatigue he stays tired. He has missed some work lately because he says he is sick. Will have diarhea and nauseau perioditically. I am thinking this is because of the pills. He refuses to go to AA/NA.
Please keep posting advice on here. He is receiving the advice.
If he is still using the pills even in small amounts then he is prolonging the agony so to speak,as long as he is on the pills he will feel like he does he hurts because his brain is telling him it needs more drugs that is also a part of withdrawal, the longer away from the pills the better his pain perception will become,get off the pills and try hot baths wit epsom salts and exercise even when he does not want to exercis releases endorphins in our brains which in turn makes us feel better.Flush the pills for a truley sound recovery or else it will all be for nothing.Clean is so much better.
I am not sure how much he takes. I only know he is on them because I know the signs. After 10 years of being with this man I can read him like a book and know when he is on something. He tries to hide it from me at first but I pressure him until he admits it to me.
Yes he is always sick in some sort. Runny nose, sneezing, coughing, chest congestion, upset stomach. He doesn't sleep well at all and he is twitching all night long.
I wish I could flush them but he gets them from people at work and even people bring it to him at work. I have gone off on everyone that he knows and told them I would turn them all in if they don't stop but it still happens.
Right now he is in a perpetual state of wd.. not getting enough med to make him feel normal.. If he were to stop taking any pills now he would be over the physical wd in a week with day 3 and 4 being the worst although it maybe shorter if he is wd now... If he is being monitored by a Dr. for seizures I would tell the Dr. as he may be able to give him meds that will make it a little easier..
Ultimately it is up to him to stop the cycle of addiction as much as you rally against his friends and fight his addiction if he is not willing to give it all up you are fighting a losing battle...
I'm afraid everyone is telling you the truth -- As long as he is using Opiates, all he is doing is prolonging the W/D process --- Yes, he is right when he says he is in pain -but it will be so much better when he quits. Many of us could go into detail about 'why' but there is not enough space or time -- lots of ways to deal with chronic pain other than opiates - the real reason he is using is because he is addicted - not because he is in pain. He may need in-patient treatment but first he has to really WANT to get clean - not just a little or to please you but realize that the road he is on is a dead end - literally and figuratively. If he ever decides to really get clean he will change is such amazing ways it will astonish even him. Wish you all the best.
Thank you both for your advice. I hope he does realize being clean isn't bad.
I used to smoke weed for many years. After having joint laced on me that nearly killed me because of my heart condition. I decided to give it up for good. To many that isn't an addiction or even a real drug, but to me it was a fight to walk away and become clean. I was mentally adicted to it. Having to face reality sober sucked but I did it.
Hopefully he will realize the same thing I realized. Being sober isn't all bad!
I have been a drug addict for well over 30 years.. My biggest fear it that I would not be happy straight. I can tell your husband that I'm very happy straight I'm the person I always dreamed of being in my most private thoughts.. I laugh more.. I'm more expressive.. I want to be with my hubby all the time instead of being alone.. I remember small details of conversation that shows people I care for what they say.. My eyes see beauty in the world.. Lastly I like myself and em content with who I ended up being.. Husband I wish these things for you and in extension you wife will have back the Man she married.. I wish you well on your journey.. lesa
my husband lost his leg in a hunting accident & has been on pain pills ever since. He functions just fine with his prosthetic but he is strung out on the pills. I think a lot of it has to do with his prior addiction to meth, its like he thinks he cant live without it like he has no get up & go. Needless to say we have NO sex life. I am 27 & in my prime & here i am commited & faithfull to someone who has no intrest in me what so ever. Its painfull & the stress is making me gain weight I run & run & i cant get passed 136 bcuz of the level of stress in my life there is absolutley no release its just an on-going pressure cooker.Most of the time he passes out in mid-sentence or he bables on & doesnt make ne sence I cant understand him or even have a conversation with him i go off on him throw him out take all the credit cards its like a never ending hell hole & all the while i am completley sober & living in real life & it BLOWS A FAT ONE!! I just wanna know if i cant get him to stop is there ne thing he can take safley with the meds to increase the sex drive?
sorry you're having a hard time . . . the best thing you can do for him is to take really good care of yourself, mentally, spiritually and physically. Give yourself a break on the physical . . . being stuck at 136 is a "problem" many would love to have. for the mental/spiritual part, try Al-Anon (just Google it for your area) . . . it is full of people who have made it past the place that seems so hopless to you right now and they can show you the way.
that being said, i will tell you that when i was in active addiction i was just stuck there until i was forced out of it against my will. if people had waited for me to "want to get better," they would have been coming to my funeral. addiction is a relentlessly progressive disease that is ultimately fatal if it's not arrested. addicts tend to stay in addiction until the pain of staying there clearly exceeds the perceived pain of getting (and staying) clean.
at least initially, the desire to live a clean life is far less important than effective treatment for the disease of addiction. if a strong desire to get off the merry-go-round was the ticket, most addicts would hop off much, much sooner. i'm a good example of that . . . my very strong desire to stop the madness brought me to this site in march of 2002. i can remember reading the posts with tears flowing down my face and vowing that i would really stop this time. by the time i actually stopped for good it was june of 2005 and the addiction and my life had gone to lows that i wouldn't have dreamed possible a few years before.
what works is treatment, especially long-term, in-patient treatment.
take care . . . i'll pray for you and your husband
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