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Avatar universal

Cannot do alone, please help with advice and support

Ok I have written on here before, and did not disclose my entire story. I will tell the truth now because I don’t know what else to do. I have served the last 4 years in the army, and recently got out. I am a 24 year old female. I served my last tour in Afghanistan and suffered a serious back injury due to an IED. I got out in June of this year about 2 weeks after getting back from deployment. The army gave me Percocet to help with the pain, but when I got out they cut off my prescriptions saying I needed to go to the VA now. It took me a month to get an appointment.

With no prescription I started buying perc off the street, but not only for my back pain, but to numb me to the huge changes in my life. Even after my back healed I still took it all the time. It has cost me a lot of money, but to be honest that does not matter now.

I re injured my back a month ago which resulted in 2 herniated discs and a displaced nerve root. I have a prescription now, but it was not enough, and I still buy them off the street. I feel that my pain has gone down to the point I no longer need pain meds.
Now I am up to 4-6 30mg tabs a day, some times more on the rough days. I am in school full time, and cannot take time off. I suffer from some pretty serious PTSD, which is not easy to admit. The care provided by the VA has not been great, and everything ends in another pill. I lost my relationship of 2 years 2 weeks ago to the only person I ever truly loved. No one knows about my addiction. I tried to quit 3 days ago, but the withdrawals were too much, and now I’m back where I was. Now that my fiancé has left I have no support where I live, no one knows I take the pills to the point I do. I have 3 30mg pills left, and pick up my normal prescription of 60 X 5 mg perc in 4 days. I don’t think I am strong enough to quit cold turkey, I need help tapering down the dose, and I DO NOT want to refill my script. If anyone knows how I can make these 60 X 5mg pills last to get this crap out of my system please let me know. I have just been prescribed anti depressants for my PTSD and take Ambien for sleep. I have 60 pills in 4 days to pick up and need a remedy to avoid another withdrawal. I will be with my family out of state for 3 weeks, and will not have access to street pills. This is my break from school, and I need to kick it now. I am very thankful for any advice people can give. I have never felt so alone in my life, and until how I have had too much pride to ask for help. I am a strong person, and have fought for my life, and now I feel like this is a battle I cannot do alone. Thank you.  

12 Responses
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Avatar universal
HI Keri.....pick up some imodium your going to need it  they also make some stuff cal highlands restful legs its great if you get hit with rls  you can find it at walmart in the vitamin dept also pick up a 3 in one vitamin calcium/magnesium/zinc I took 4 with breakfast and 4 with dinner but other members say tyhats to much so go 2 and 2 it will cut down on the withdrawal you feel....other then that keep posting for support....did you read your e/mail??
anyways good luck and God bless......Gnarly
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was just writing in for a status update. I started the tapering yesterday, and have been feeling ok. I cut my normal dose down by one pill and have set a schedule so that I cut down one pill everyday until I am down to nothing. I proportioned out the pills remaining on my prescription and am confident that I can do this. I will kick this even if it means going through rough times, which I’m sure are ahead. I think the worst part is over, I wasted 6 months of my life with this stuff, and lost the most important person in my life. I have admitted guilt, and hope that I can forgive myself someday. I started taking antidepressants, and have not noticed much. I am taking a daily multi vitamin, and will start running again tomorrow (first time in 3 months  ). I finally told my best friend everything that has been going on, and it felt really good to get if off my chest. She lives very far away, and cannot be here, but I will make it. I have started keeping a log of how much I take, and the reactions my body is having to tapering. I think this will be useful in helping people in the future. Thanks to everyone for their help. If anyone has any more ideas on anything over the counter I can take, I would be more than thankful to hear them.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Keri, really go the cold turkey route. It is hard, but over with much quicker than tapering. Like I said, I tried tapering... had my hubby hold the pills and such, only to find myself already feeling the withdrawal crap and wanting to get it over with. If you have any of the following, I recommend using them... You said you have muscle relaxers, I have robaxin and it helps immensely with muscle cramps and the restless leg syndrome you will feel, especially at night. You will have diarrhea, so get some immodium if it gets super bad and drink lots of gatorade. Take lots of hot baths or showers with epsom salt. Opiates leave through your skin too, so baths are beyond helpful. It is going to feel like the worst case of the flu you ever had, so treat as such. Like I said before, try the Thomas recipe for a list of all the supplements and other things to do. I am due for my refill tomorrow and am fighting the urge to fill it... I will be on here frequently to check for support for me and to check on you. You can do it girl. The mind plays a giant part in this. If you have something to help with anxiety, it will come in super helpful. I know you don't want to leave one addiction only to start another, but valium or something used only for a few days to get you through this would really help.  A lot of the detox with pain killers is the anxiety part of stopping them. Keep us posted please. You are in my prayers.
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Avatar universal
sorry... I posted the above to the wrong name!! Sorry, so sleep deprived with my newborn I can't think or see straight!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thanks for all you do for our country first and foremost. I am a new mom and am struggling to get off lortab. I have been on the percs too, and know addiction wise, what you are feeling. I have lupus and fibromyalgia and take my meds way more for the high and numbing effect they give me rather than for pain help. My advice on kicking the habit... be honest with someone you can trust, such as a doctor, etc that you can tell everything to like you did on here. Trust me, I have a super doctor who is helping me and I was so afraid to admit that I had a problem that I almost didn't say anything. There is a medicine called suboxene that helped me in the past to get off of vicodin. Maybe you could inquire about that and see if that is a route you would like to go. I don't know about the tapering thing. I tried it and it just seemed to me like I was dragging it out, so I am now on day three of the Thomas recipe. If you can, try and do that. Detox is rough no matter which way you do it, but if you are tough enough to serve this country, you are sure tough enough to conquer this. We are here for you and you can do it. I am sorry I don't have much more than just support for you, but like I said, I am in day three of detox myself. I honestly don't know how I am going to STAY off of them when I love how they help me emotionally and stuff. They are like my antidepressant and I know that is wrong. I am on Medicaid for a few more weeks and have refills as well for a while and am hoping I will be strong enough, with support with my friends on here. You can do it. Everyone on here is behind you.
Helpful - 0
82861 tn?1333453911
Thank you so much for your service!

Gnarly makes a great point.  Attitude is everything where detox concerned.  If you go into it "knowing" you can't tough it out, you won't.  Try to remember that's just the addiction talking to and saying, "You can't leave me after all our good times!"  Yes, you can.  My husband detoxed from Subutex a couple months ago.  Thirty years ago he detoxed from a heavy heroin and opiate habit - in jail.  I'm glad I didn't know him back then and have to witness it.  The Sub detox was plenty awful.  He has also lived with PTSD for most of his life and only this year began therapy for it.  Had he not finally decided to deal with it in therapy, I'm convinced he would still be using.  

Anyway, it's the mind games during and after withdrawal that cause people to relapse, particularly where home detoxes are concerned.  Sure, you can stop taking the pills, get through the few days of physical withdrawal he-ll, but most folks aren't in any way prepared for the mental part of withdrawal.  If you've read through some posts here, you've probably seen a heavy emphasis on aftercare in the form of AA, NA or with a private addictionologist.  The people who detox with a doctor and also combine the mental therapy are the ones who have higher success rates.  You have to treat both the mind and the body to truly heal.  You've already fought for us.  Now you have to fight for yourself.  We're ready and willing to help.  :-)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
HI  thanks for serving all of us and our country so sorry to here you got hurt over there
I was ginog to offer you a taper plan but if your doing 3 to 4 30s a day.....your going to blow threw those 60 5mg in no time I think your only option here is going to be C/T your habit exceeds your supply you did a tour of duty you can get threw a week of withdrawals
go into it with a win win attitude look up the thomas recipe on the lower right hand side of the screen and pick up the stuff.....hot baths help the symptoms you can post here for support
If you insist on tapering your going to have to tell your doctor so he can give you enough pills to do it be honest with him he might just help otherwise its C/T to break free
good luck and God bless....Gnarly......check your e/mail
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi, thank you for responding to me so quickly. I am seeing someone for the PTSD, and I know that I should have done it as soon as I got back. I’m sure that the pain pills have only been masking the other problems in my life. I would prefer to taper off, I tried the cold turkey and was fairly unsuccessful. This is the only drug I have taken in my life, because of the Army I was always drug tested and never tried anything else. When I was doing research I saw that antidepressants can help a little. I do have a prescription that I was waiting to take for this reason. I have muscle relaxers if you think those would help a little. How should I handle the doses? Should I got ¾ what I normally take and maybe try adding an hour or two in between doses? If so how long should I do it for before I go down to 1/2? My other question is will my depression get better when I get off of the pain killers? I really do hope so, before all of this I was a very happy outgoing person, and now I am just sad and kind of a home body. Any ideas?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Goodness, I'm sorry!  Drug addiction unfortunately doesn't discriminate.  It can take down the toughest people in the world.  I know that you do need to talk to someone about your issues, or the pills will always seem like a way out.  

Going cold turkey gets it over the fastest, without a doubt.  Plus, if you taper, you will feel WDs pretty much constantly the entire time you taper IF you are able to maintain the discipline to do it.  I'd just stop them, and be done with it once and for all.  There are OTC things you can get to help!

Good luck! : )  You can do this.  Thank you for serving!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey Sweetie~  You've got some stuff going on,huh?    You should get the PTSD under control either through the VA or privately. You are most likely self medicating that with the Percs.

As IBK said,tapering is very difficult,especially if you're alone. If someone was with you to hand out the pills each day that would help you. But,really,going cold turkey is the best and fastest way.

We'll support you all the way. It can be done and you're very strong. I know you can do it!!

Keep posting to us. We have tons of suggestions to help things go a little easier so you came to right place!
Helpful - 0
1331115 tn?1536362140
Welcome Home and thank you for putting your life on the line for our freedom.

As IB told you you could try the VA clinic but I know how they just treat what you put down on the paper that day. So I would suggest going to an addiction specialist that may be  able to give you greater help. I personally would just go CT and get it overwith, but thats your choice. As with anything you do  wish you luck and I am praying for you. God Bless---Rick
Helpful - 0
271792 tn?1334979657
Hi & Welcome,

Welcome Home and thank you for serving our country and our freedom.

First things first, do they offer counseling at the VA? Silly question, I know they do.I think that is something you should look into. You are not alone and you will find people there just like you who can help you.

Secondly, you have admitted that you no longer need the pills so it is time to make a change and get off of them. There are two ways to go, you can either taper or go ct. If you taper, I suggest that you do that along with your doctor who can put you on a plan and I also suggest that you have someone whom you trust hold the pills and hand them out to you per the plan. Tapering is tricky business and most of us are not successful.

Either way you are going to have withdrawal..sorry I can't sugar coat that. The good news is that it will last 5 or so days and you will be done. We can help you here with support and suggest some natural supplements and home remedies to get you through this.

So what were you thinking is the best way to go?
Helpful - 0
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