Cant Seem To Stop

Hey everyone... My names Caleb.. I broke both of my wrists about 2 years ago and I got perscribed 90 percocets for the pain. I had taken them prior to my accident for recreation, but never got addicted. Well, How that changed. Slowly but surely I developed a pretty bad habit. DISEASE. I am taking anywhere from 5 to 8 perc 10s a day. It is the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I close my eyes. I even freakin dream about it!!!!!! Im a bartender so its bad enough that I leave with cash to buy them every night. I find myself needing them to perform my job and be sociable. I can even tell the difference in my tips when im on them and when im not. Can ANYONE give me any kind of remedies or advice of how to get off these things and be able to be myself again without popping a pill the second i wake up? Should I ween myself off being that I have to be sociable for my job?

[spanky595]

   I dont think you can do this by your self you will need slow your pills taking down.   You need to see your doc. and tell him what you are trying to do.  You will need detox to ween off.   A good doc. will no what to do for you so go see your DOC. it will save you a lot of pain.

[donewitis]

Well, you've come to the right place...and the first step is admitting you have a problem. There are many ways to go..as an inpatient rehab or outpatient. If that's not possible, w/opiates u you can go c/t..and for 5-7 days feel like you have the worst flu imaginable..with anxiety. As many of us found out it's 2/3 mental and 1/2 physical. The taper process is not for everybody..if you have someone to hold your meds, that may be the way to go or if you can be extremely careful holding them yourself..which is what I did. Many here will tell you, bite the bullet and accept what comes..you can do it..It is so worth it to get your life back!! I know many will come here to advise and support you...and you can hear many success stories. I am now 18 days opiate free. I too was prescribed 90 oxys a month for the past 4 years...and I didnt miss a day. Now I'm just grateful they are out of my life.

[donewitis]

Scroll down to bottom of page..see health pages..then read Thomas's recipe also Amino Acid Protocol...there are supplements, vitamins, immodium, and more... to alieve some of the w/d symptoms. PS. Drink Lots of fluids...gatorade, water
Keep posting
God Bless

[donewitis]

2/3 mental and 1/3 physical pain....excuse moi

[usedtobefunny]

Actually, it will be the hardest thing you will ever do, but you can do it by yourself. Lots of people on this site have done it by "ourselves" with a lot of support and motivation from the good folks here and na/aa (yeah, I know that isn't technically by yourself, but you know what I mean)

I am sorry the first thing you heard from this site is that you can't do it by yourself. Normally comments like that are not tolerated here as this is supposed to be a site about addicts helping addicts, not people lecturing you about how you can't do it, which is what has been happening a lot lately. You can. You can really do it!

You have got to reach a point where you want to quit more than you want to use, and as wise member always says here "you just have to ok without being ok for a while."

Tapering is good, but us addicts have a really hard time with that. I know when they were around I just had to take them.

Please look into the Thomas Recipe. Those supplements will help you tremendously.

[donewitis]

I totally agree. I did this alone in my home but yet not alone. I was glued to this site, getting so much support and guidance and PRAYER. I am most grateful. Being sick and tired of being sick and tired..I wanted/hoped that my life would mean more than getting the next pill. Today it is..much more.

AtlDrinkSlinger: This IS all about one addict helping another..this forum saved my life. Please let us know how we can help, know we are here and know that everyone has or is going through the same thing..fighting to get there lives back.

[AtlDrinkSlinger]

I really appreciate you guys responding... See the thing now is that im not even prescribed them anymore. Havent been for 2 years now. Theyre just so easy to get for me that its just a phone call away. I think thats what makes it so hard bc the second i start hurting or i even take my last pill I just make that phone call and theyre right there again. It really has taken over my life and I am the only one who knows it besides the one person i get them from. Im almost afraid that i dont even know who i will be if i get off them. Ya know? I havent looked at that Thomas thing yet but I definitely will..... Anything that will help me at this point I will be so grateful for.

[AtlDrinkSlinger]

I really appreciate you guys responding... See the thing now is that im not even prescribed them anymore. Havent been for 2 years now. Theyre just so easy to get for me that its just a phone call away. I think thats what makes it so hard bc the second i start hurting or i even take my last pill I just make that phone call and theyre right there again. It really has taken over my life and I am the only one who knows it besides the one person i get them from. Im almost afraid that i dont even know who i will be if i get off them. Ya know? I havent looked at that Thomas thing yet but I definitely will..... Anything that will help me at this point I will be so grateful for.

[AtlDrinkSlinger]

I really appreciate you guys responding... See the thing now is that im not even prescribed them anymore. Havent been for 2 years now. Theyre just so easy to get for me that its just a phone call away. I think thats what makes it so hard bc the second i start hurting or i even take my last pill I just make that phone call and theyre right there again. It really has taken over my life and I am the only one who knows it besides the one person i get them from. Im almost afraid that i dont even know who i will be if i get off them. Ya know? I havent looked at that Thomas thing yet but I definitely will..... Anything that will help me at this point I will be so grateful for

[donewitis]

Like many here who have gotten opiates from other 'sources'..you HAVE to get rid of that phone #.(People, places, and Things)  Recently a guy here who was trying to get clean was constantly having his source call him. He turned off his phone. Period. It was really no different than me calling my Dr. and saying I'm addicted..can't prescribe these to me anymore. See, I was at the point of no return.I felt like I was losing my mind, I knew that it had to end..and I had to be done with this. Many advised me..get to a meeting, find some aftercare, flush the rest of the pills...I did it. I Had to..ya know enough is enough. I hope you read the archives here..the many who know your pain..and are now living large, really enjoying life one day at a time. I'm not there yet..I'll repeat what was wisely stated above: "you just have to ok without being ok for a while." (Author Gnarly). I acccept that..and it's ok..everyday is better than a day of narcotics. that's the truth. SO whatever it takes, just be willing...one day at a time.

:

[stilltrying123]

Reading this is helping me as well. You guys have a lot of heart. I have been off perks and OCs for a year and a half now. I did it with help from suboxone. It helped me tremendously but I got addicted to it. Bottom line is one way or another you end up going thru some form of WDs or another. One day at a time we can all do it.

[snakejones]

Hi there---welcome! This is a really good forum with nice people that have just about seen it all! We all look forward to helping you and getting to know you, too.
Most folks aren't strong enough to wean themselves off. It can be done, but it requires a special personality type. You'll have to figure out whether you want to wean off or just jump in with all four feet into withdrawal and get it over with. Either way, you'll need help, whether from your family, non-drug-using friends, doctor or other health professionals---and us! Stay close to the forum and post often. Everyone will talk you through! Again, welcome!

[littlebit010101]

Oh man do u have to want it....the desire to quit has to be stronger than the desire to take again....I really feel sorry for u.....I had to depend on my Dr for mine.. I would not want to be able to pick up a phone and say hey I need them....oh man I would be in trouble....I can't taper so I had to do ct not easy but can b done....but u will need some help and bout a week to get over the wds but so worth it... I thought the same thing about who would I be..and guess what I'm still me..  and I love this me and so does my family and friends they missed me just like I missed me....keep posting and good luck.....

[pillfree21]

You are taking a huge step by admitting to yourself that you have a problem and reaching out to other addicts for help, but that is only the beginning.  I think one of the most important next steps to begin to actually believe that it is possible, I remember in my early stages of trying to get clean, it just did not seem possible for me, but the more I read others post and stories, the more I believed it was possible.  Then I began to experiment with WDs, going a day or two here and there, then 4 or 5 days, it was very rough and the WDs scared me back into relapse time and time again, but I began to gain more and more strength and belief in the possibility.  Ultimately, I wound up on methadone, which was a huge mistake, but I was able to get off last summer and although I experience a relapse here and there, the past few months I have been clean.  I never would have beleived that this was possible when I first considered getting clean after 5+ years of abuse.  I am by no means 100% cured and it is a daily walk to stay clean, but I am in the fight...and it is literally for my life.

This will be the ultimate test for you which will most likely define you as the ultimate warrior.  There are several different paths toward recovery, you just have to start seeking and travel down the one that beckons you.  This site is a very valuable resource, I have not been on lately, but from time to time I come and just read to remind myself of where i was and were I need to go.  Best of luck my fellow Georgian (is that a word?) and keep posting.

[littlebit010101]

Oh I just noticed that I'm a georgian and yes as far as I'm concerned that's a very good word...lol....hang in there....good luck...

[AtlDrinkSlinger]

Thanx Guys.......

[donewitis]

So how are you doing? what's happening with you?

[AtlDrinkSlinger]

Honestly???

[AtlDrinkSlinger]

I woke up this morning and took the 3 perc 10s i had left....... Its bad. I know. That was at 9:30 this morning b4 I went to work. So..... Of course work went great, but right now at this point I'm already getting the chills. On a positive note though. I hit the FU button on my guy when he called me  today. SOOOOOOO HARD to do. If you only knew how much I thought about everything you wrote me last night today you'd think I was lying. Its so weird that there is a select few ppl in my life that knew or know about my "Habit" , granted they have no idea what its like, never, not once had they had a positive effect on me quitting like yall have. In all honesty, my mind raced more today in a clear way than it has in 2 years. This is after 1pm when the percs had worn off and my shift was almost over.

                   Remember when you used to take them and you get that sudden rush of straight bliss.... "Is that spelled right?" Well, anyway........ Thats why we took them remember? They would make you sociable, happy, care free. Problems just seemed to work themselves out. When in all reality thats just you being doped up and ***** actually just getting worse before your eyes but youre too doped up to realize it.

                  I dont know if I just realized this today bc I talked to someone last night who has or is goin through the same **** I am. But you have no idea how much I appreciate you talking with me about this. I know its bad that I took those this morning but I am about to go through 10 days of sneezing, ********, puking, yelling, bitching, sweating, and so much more. So Im asking you to please keep in touch with me through this. I really want it so freakin bad...... SOOOO BAD

[littlebit010101]

Good morning Atlanta....u made me laugh...oh yeah I remember why I took them... They FIX it all don't they...lol....I'm just now getting the fog out my head...and I feel so much better... But I wouldn't trade places with u...but do want u to know that it can b done...and its worth it...u rediscover who u r....and I really like me now...how could I not..I had become someone I didn't even know...or like....so hang in there...post often...there is hope I promise...

[donewitis]

It's 20 days since I took an opiate and I remember well. Just going to the grocery store..and thinking people are looking at me strange...is it me? or am I just being paranoid. With family..though I don't see them all that much..I also wondered...do they have a clue? Having my best (clean/sober for 19 yrs) friend calling and saying my voice sounds so much deeper..how tired I sound..etc...
To this day I don't know...what they think.I also recall that momentary synthetic bliss, euphoria...that everything's okay..that nothing can really touch me. Well, that's a LIE.It's time to live life on lifes terms, that I can choose to be alone and withdraw from the world, or figure out how to contribute, (once again) and believe that my life does matter.
I'm just relieved that I can think more clearly..that I now know I don't need oxycodone for pain..that the pain is there but narco's need not be. That they do not help.I am still struggling, but it sure beats living for the little blue pill. I also know that I am not doing this alone..God is with me, my Lord and Savior has carried me this far...I just have to keep surrendering my will..and seek His...so much better..so much easier...