Cant get off the pain pills!!!!!

[flycastingnut]

I have been abusing "Opiates" ie- Lortabs, Percocet, and Oxycontin HEAVILY for nearly 2 years now, mostly Lortabs, Lately ive been "crushing" them up and snorting them!!! And it is not at all unusaull for me to go through 8 or 10- 10Mg. Lortabs in 1 day!! I have totally lost my life because of the pills!! EVERYDAY its ALL I think about- where im going to get some, when am i going to runout etc. They have just consumed my life and I HATE them!!! I want so badly to get off of these pills and get my life back!! But I cannot afford a rehab/treatment center, I am quickly finding out that help is VERY expensive!!
         I've tried "weaning" off of them under my Dr.'s care, but that didnt work. Because I have NO willpower when it comes to pills! I might also mention that I have Bipolar/ Manic Depressive disorder, and SEVERE Anxiety disorder!! I see my Pscychiatrist once a month and im on 3 differant meds for my 'Pscychiatric" problems. I started taking Lortabs 2 years ago because they really helped with my Anxiety issue. Now they are adding to my anxiety!!! They are getting harder and harder to get, and I truley, honestly want off the pills!!! But If I go even 1 day without them I have tremors, cold sweats, I shake so bad I cant even type on here, I Hallucinate and hear voices!!! And I feel like im am going to go literally insane!!
           Anyway I am sure you have all been through it. How long do these unGodly withdrawls last if I stop cold turkey?? Also are there any medications out there that my Family Dr. could prescribe me to ease the withdrawls? I was thinking about Librium, but I dont know if thats a good idea? I would really like to hear youre stories of how you got off the pills!!! And especially how long the Horrible withdrawls lasted, because tommorrow I am DONE, no more Pain Pills!!! I took my last one tonight, I dont have anymore, and im not getting anymore!! God Bless you all! And I hope to hear back from some of you!! THANK YOU!!

[flycastingnut]

Hi All, I am overwhelmed at all the posts I have recieved!! Thank you ALL so much!! I read all of them and thought id post some more.  What "Jacqui805" posted REALLY hit home, and described me exactley!! I think my Pscycological "Issues" are making it even harder to quit. I have had a horrible Anxiety disorder since I was around 15 or 16, but I wasn't diagnosed and didnt get help until I was 25. Ive been on Antidepressants and anti-anxiety medication ie: Valium, Xanax, Klonopin etc. Right now I am on 2 antidepressents and valium (diazepam). But I have developed a tolerance to Valium,and it doesn't help me like it used to. Because of my Anxiety problem it is REALLY hard for me to be around groups of people, like the grocery store, shopping etc. Somedays my anxiety is so bad I just simply cannot even leave the house!!
               I hurt my back several years ago at work and was given Lortabs. And I immediatley loved them!!! They took away 99% of my anxiety, and I could go out and do things without the nasty anxiety!! But like ALL addictions my pain pill addiction went from 2 a day, to as many as I possibley could get, somedays 10+ 10Mg Lortabs. So I have horrible anxiety to begin with, and add the withdrawl symptoms on top of that and it is HELL!!! I am not making excuses, or saying im worse than anyone else!! I am just saying I have been dealing with some terrible Psychiatric problems for over 20 years, and throw in pain pill withdrawls on top of that and it is undescribeable Hell!!
      I am doing what -Jacqui805- posted, I am seeing my Medical Dr. and I was totally honest with him about how out of control my Pain pill use was. But he tried to "wean" me off of them WAY to fast!! So I ended up going to another one of my Dr's to get more. You all know how it is, getting pills from several differant Dr's!! And my Psych. doctor also knows about my addiction issue, but he doesnt want to deal with it, he told me that my Medical Dr. needed to treat me for that, which doesnt make much sense to me?? I am going to go see my Medical Dr. again and see what he suggests, I dont think he fully understood just how bad I am/was abusing the pain meds, when I saw him last time. I know this is going to be one of the hardest things Ive ever done, but I know I need to be under a Dr's care, and maybe there is a medication to ease the withdrawls??
       I am also a "recovering" Alcoholic, I self medicated with alcohol for a long time, and I drank a LOT of Hard liquor, Vodka, Whiskey etc. Getting off the alcohol was easy compared to this!! Like "babydoll23" posted I cannot do this alone, I have a sister that I am very close to and I see her or talk to her daily. She has Lupis and several other chronic illness's, She is on Percocets and Oxycontins and she would give me some if I ran out!! We talked today and she WILL NOT give me anymore pills EVER!! But she is there for me to help me and talk to me, but I made her promise not to give me anymore pills no matter how bad I begged!!
      Anyway I think I am going about this the right way?? I am under a Dr's care, I have cut off ALL my "suppliers" Now I just have to get through the next few weeks, which I know are going to be bad!! I really want my life back, and not have to wake up every morning, and the First thought I have is do I have enough to get me through the day? If not where am I going to get some??? And spending basically my life chasing pills!!! Today was my first "attempt" at quiting, I made it until 7pm and I couldnt stand it anymore, and I ended up getting a Percocet. I feel like a failure for doing that!!! I just Hope I do better tomorrow!! Thank You ALL for youre help!! I think this forum is going to be a LOT of help in getting through this!! God Bless, Brian  

[Jacqui805]

Alot of what you were experiencing sounded to me to be a little more than w/d.  It sounds like you were in a manic state as well.  Your mania may not be adequately controlled with the same dosages of meds you were on before going through w/d.  w/d could exacerbate any mania, or induce it.  You need to be honest with the psych doc to get that under control, if that's the issue, talk about it.  Also, talk to your other doc about weaning again another way.  It may have been too fast for you, or done without assistance.  Everyone's different, and I think ideally, if both docs talked, it might yield what'll work for you.  Good luck.

[babydoll23]

Hey there!  Ummm... believe me U R NOT ALONE! My husband and I have been on Methadone , lortab, any other pain pill. I'm new here but I can tell u I know what ur going through. It sucks wakeing up and the first thing u ask ur self is "Do I have enough for today"? I can't afford rehab either and that's why I'm here. Just remember ur not alone.  I know some people say they can do it alone, and maybe they can. All I know is it will be much easier if u have someone to talk to that knows what ur going through. So, GOOD LUCK I hope u can find some great advice here!

[verdigo]

Hi I'm in the same boat as you. I'm sorry to say but I crush and snort also. I do it because it seems to help get more of the drug in your blood than when you take them orally and it helps the meds to stretch further because you are wasting less of them that way. On the other hand I'm absolutely ashamed of it and looking very hard of trying to get on the suboxone program. It may work for you as well. naabt.com helped me learn alot about the drug and I ordered a resource kit and trying to get an appointment with a local doc that can get me on the program. I have had bad withdraws as well not quite what you have mentioned but the sweats,leg sensations, sleeplessnes,mood,hyper sensitivity to touch and so on. I've tried many times to quit and I just can't do it on my own. I am the only income for my family of 6 and can't just stop my life to detox and lose all my income and finacial support for my family so I really really think that suboxone will work for me...maybe for you too.
Respectfully
Verdigo

[NautyOne]

I am by far a doctor, but in my opinion, I don't know if you should try to detox on your own.  If you have a psyc. condition and have hallucinations and hearing voices and some of the other things you mentioned---I don't think you should do this without medical supervision.  Please talk to your Psychiatrist about this.....Please come clean with him or her because the mixture of the psyc. drugs and the opiates......who knows if there could be more serious issues than the "normal" detox.  I'm not trying to scare you.  I talked to my sister who is a nurse, and of course they are going to say that it is not safe and to talk to your doc.  Detox is not only physical, but it can also be a very emotional process too.  Detox for the most part is safe, but if there are any underlying medical/psychiatric issues it becomes a little more complicated.  Something maybe to think about?  Does anyone else agree?

Nauty...............

Nauty..................

[BigWill79]

The truth is you can do it.  I have gone through detox two and a half times with the first being the worst because of how much I was using.  12-15 10's a day for about six months.  Anyway, you have the power to do it.  I suggest lots of water, and I mean lots, immodium, and if you can take klonipin for the first 10-14 days.  This will a lot with the anxiety and will help you sleep a little.  Don't take them more than that because they can become addicting, according the folks here and my Doctor.  I would also suggest therapy/counseling and start asap.  it helps with all aspects of withdrawal and addiction.  

[liscamdave]

Um, I have been through some aweful w.d's. I used to take about 15-20 80mg Oxy's a day. Yes, a DAY. And my w.d was fierce and lasted almost two months. Everyone is different. And the bad w.d's were about a week for me then got better each day. You were taking alot, but that is about normal. The worst should subside within 5-7 days then get better with each day. I can honestly say that maybe you should be under a dr's care or a good friend or spouse/partner? As you are halucinating and stuff, that is pretty bad. I never did that with the amount I was taking and I was taking a butt load of stuff. I would really be careful. But, welcome and we are all here for you...all day, everyday...

Lisa

[oto]

I am on day 8 and i feel much better, much better..i was doing 200 mg of oxi a day and when i coudnt get  them i would do about 35 vic or perks per day. i was bad i mean real bad.8 days ago i woke up and said enough!!!!!!!the first 5 days are the hardest but i promise it gets better. u have a tuff road but u can do it i know u can !!!

[toxictome]

Welcome to the forum. This is a great place for help and support.

Look in GoingToMakeIt 's journals..check out the Thomas Recipe..that will give you a lot of ideas to help you thru wd's . Check w/ your Dr. about which meds you can use, as you are on some meds that may interact w/ things in the recipe.

God luck and Keep posting!!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Withdrawals last about a week. Usually by day 5 you are feeling better. It is a long road to stay clean, but it is doable. First thing is to STOP crushing or snorting your pills.
     If you quit cold turkey. Throw all of the pills away. Look for your stashes and chuck them too. I did this 72 days ago and have not looked back. You can too. I was just a bit less than you 8-10 7.5s a day Hydros. Good Luck.
Welcome to the forum.