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Hi All, Well, I finally think my head is feeling a tad bit better, heart & mind not so much but I will take what I can. I have been on sub since Tues. evening. My doc wanted me on 16 mg a day. I tried that the fist day and thought I was going to have a heart attack!! For real! Yesterday & today I would say I took about 6 mg. It's hard to tell since its a film strip anyhootie all this doesn't really matter the point is that I am not taking the amount the doc wants and I'm taking I guess what my body needs to stay out of withdrawl. I have made an appointment with a therapist for this Monday and I see the Physc again on Tues. I really want off of everything!! For good and for real but I guess I will get my ducks in a row first this time ( as far as aftercare) and then plunge off the bridge into hell one last time. I wish I could find a doc that would want me on only a short time!! Mine wants me to use the subs as a maintainance. I will say that they sure work as far as making you not crave!!!! or cave!! So that is unbelievably AWESOME.. I was finally able to sleep last night so that was awesome too! What a mess. I am just so mad at myself such a great life I could have if I just weren't so freaking self destructive!! Thanks for letting me ramble and thanks for the support. Love to all of you !!!
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2120911 tn?1350926261
Sounds like a plan...good for you !
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u will hav a great life u just hit a road block. a big 1.there r two reasons a sub dr wants u on maintanance 1 they want u to keep paying them,(the bad drs) 2 they dont want u to relaspse til u get aftercare.(the good 1s) my dr will start my taper when I AM READY. u need to do whats best for u. im happy ur getn ur ducks in a row lol -crystal-
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Thanks you two! @ pittbullmom. I need to send you a PM. You have been such a huge support and I do have a gazillion questions about sub. So as soon as I get a sec I will. Thank you so much!!
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ur welcome sweetie. im here for u. i had su1 here for me when i was inducted on sub. and u will b here for sum1 else when they need u. this site is all about paying it foward. just about any drugu can think of there is some1 who has expirience here to help sum1. i wont b on during the weekends i only have access at work but i will check on u monday morning hav a nice weekend and enjoy urself not looking for pills.
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also the above poster is right about skippinfg day and getn to the lowest dose possable b4 u jump off the w/d can b ruff if u dont. stay on as long as u need to so u dont go back
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480448 tn?1426952138
JUST an FYI...we're not permitted to give specific dosing advice.

Go back and read what I wrote about sub and finding a good clinic.  I TOTALLY agree you need to find a sub doc that knows their stuff, one who insists on a holistic plan that includes therapy of some sort, and who understands how to taper, who will make you be accountable with tox screens at every visit.  You don't have to be in a RUSH, but certainly you don't have to stay on Sub forever.  An average length of time to be on sub, in a good program, to allow for stabilization, a slow and proper taper, and the start of aftercare would be about 6 months to a year.  Due to its long half life, the slower the taper, the more successful the patient usually is.  Just because a sub taper may take longer doesn't mean that's somehow bad.  Also, a long sub taper isn't the same thing as being in w/d's for a long time.  If the taper is done properly, there should to VERY minimal to NO w/d during the step downs in dosages.  The only time you can expect to feel a little lousy is when you jump all together at the end, and again, if it's done correctly, it should be very tolerable.

My advice is the same, stay on your lowest dose (w/ this doc) while you look for another Sub doctor.  You don't have to leave this clinic until you find a new and better sub program.  It will actually be easier for you to transition.

The IMPORTANT thing to hold onto here is, you're not using, you're not in w/d's, and you're not craving, so even though your sub doc is not a good one, its working.  So, TRY not to overthink everything, stop worrying about how long you will be on it, and put your energy torward finding a good clinic, and start looking into aftercare, NA/AA, etc.  Also, pat yourself on the back, because you recognized the dose was too high.  With sub, even very heavy users can be comfortable on a pretty low dose.

You're being very hard on yourself for no reason.  You're actually doing just fine.
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2218783 tn?1357574681
great advice :) Nursegirl and Pitbulmom
and I am also glad you are doing good and getting ducks in a row Tavia
I have never been on Subs but I have a close friend on them and she is doing great and is getting her life together
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Hi All, Just wanted to check in..Going on almost 2 weeks of subs. feeling OK. I had a VERY DEEP therapy session last week whcih was actually quite wonderful. I don't think I have ever cried soooo hard ever. I reaaly wish I could just stop all now immediately but I think I really need to work through some things while under a so called "protected environment" so I dont relapse for the 90 millionth time. Thank you all for your support and for all those struggling I sure understand and send love and encouragement your way! Thanks all!
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good to hear ur stickin with the program nothing else worked for u. good job
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2120911 tn?1350926261
Glad to hear you're taking your life back...
You will do just fine,
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2218783 tn?1357574681
thanks for the update keep at it you sound like you are pulling it all together very happy for you :))
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1742220 tn?1331360327
glad to hear you're doing well, Tavia!!!

mp
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