Hi Bo:
You're not crazy; people change, relationships change all the time.
I would strongly recommend that you make NO big changes to important relationships while you are getting clean. Divorce is very stressful and could trigger you to relapse.
Lots of long-term marriages involve no sex...as we get older, other things become more important. Have you thought about a marriage counselor?
Your brain is healing and going thru tremendous changes; re-wiring itself. That's why "no big decisions" for the first year of recovery is strongly recommended.
Keep going you are doing great...the best is yet to come!
Well here it goes. I am still very strong and not taking them. It's a really long hard process at first now it seems to get easier everyday. I am overall in a very dark place with my current relationship and that's why I strongly believe I started taking more as I would use to feel the pain go away. After we would fight I would pop. I have flushed anything that is left tossed everything out and taking a daily vitamin to help keep my energy level up.
I recently had a really good and close friend, that was my best friend; stop communicating with me. Never heard from him again. I am so deeply hurt by it that if I was still on them, I would sure be using. I was very close with him and his wife before they got married. Now this is such a deep thing I don't know what to do. The falling out was because I used to work with his wife and it was at the retail store she works for. Bad customer and friend experience. Now to where we aren't friends. Not how it was ever planned.
Not really any improvement on my relationship it has maybe inched better but I never get anything back when I communicate to her. A year ago this time I was the happiest guy ever. Had some really close friends, had a wonderful relationship, I was never happy at my job but I was doing good and paying better on all the bills. Now, a year later? I am much further from that guy I knew in the picture. I honestly don't know who he is. There is absolutely no sex life in my relationship. Before yes. Now it's as if we're married with kids and don't ever have enough time to try. I am on the edge of calling it quits. I don't want to because I honestly love having someone here with me at nights. I can lay next to a body. I don't want to be in a house alone.
That should be in for now. What do y'all think? Am I crazy? Lol
Thank you so much. I really appreciate those kind words you have for me. I am still going strong. I'll post below.
Thank you :)
Congrats on Day 4!!! You are doing it!!! Just a few more days and you should be feeling better physically...it is different for all of us but for me within a week I was back at work and except for some nausea and restlessness I was feeling OK. SO just keep hanging on! Krissy gave you some great suggestions so stay busy, hydrated etc.... You CAN do this! Just don't listen to your brain when it tries to trick you into taking just "one more".... Keep on posting when you get those thoughts! And look into aftercare! Aftercare is what saved me from myself and it has saved most of us on here! Keep on posting and let us know how you are getting on!
Good,that's the first step. Eliminate all the drugs,delete all your contacts. If you want to do this you can't have any access to the pills. And helplessangel is right,you'll never be able to take just one "ones to many,a thousand isn't enough". And yes you will feel yucky for a bit. Make sure you're staying hydrated,hot baths,little walks if you can. Try not to lay around,you'll heal quicker the more you get up and fight the urge to lay around. I love that you're talking to loved ones,this will help you a lot!! Along with this site plus some aftercare you're on your way to a clean life!!
I hear what you're saying about taking them in 2 weeks time. Remember, it only takes one and you're back in the cycle. I'm on my 33rd day. All I can do is say, "I wont use today." One more thing. My brother did that after almost a year clean and od'ed. Now, he has renal failure and can't walk. It was heroin but I don't see the difference btw any opiates. Get yourself to a meeting. They've been a godsend to me! Keep us updated. I'm in your corner!