Cold Turkey or Taper?

[rekluse2011]

Hi. I'm new to all of this, as in expressing my thoughts and fears, especially to complete strangers. But here it goes...  I am a 35yr old male, and I started taking opiate/pain killers nearly 7yrs ago.  I was introduced to them by my on and off again girlfriend. 7yrs ago I was in a band (garage band, nothing huge) but I was happy. I had plenty of music gear, was writing, playing, and as most tell me had a promising road ahead of me in music. I met "Mya" out drinking one night at the local topless bar. We hit it off right away. Within a month we were living together, making good money together, living the rock n roll lifestyle.  Bars, partying, etc...  then it all started to go downhill...
Mya had been taken these pills before she met me, usually 2-3 a day, and as she would put it - to get through work, and to deal with the bumps and bruises associated with "dancing". One night we were being intimate for hrs, and when I finally began to tire, she suggested i try a pill.  I was tired, and my back was killing me, and so i did it. I opened that door, that eventually would grow and take over my life. 7yrs later, I have nothing. I have a broke down truck, with everything i have left that i own, in the truck, consisting mostly of clothes. I've been living wherever I can, mostly from woman to woman, sleeping with them, or on their couches, even ruining marriages...  it's horrible.  This has been going on basically for 2 yrs, the bouncing around from woman to woman, place to place. Mya is still around, but our addiction runs our lives, and we found that being apart serves each of our own problem better.  We both find partners to basically take care of us, so we can focus on our habit.  I'm actually writing this from one of the womens laptops.  She is an angel, and deserves someone better than me, but that's neither here nor there.  And enough of the life story.....
My question:  Is it better to cold turkey or to taper off?  (burn out or fade away...)
I have been taking any type of opiate, up to 10 - 10s a day, but lately whatever i can manage to get, usually 5-6 a day, and mostly from the street, with an occasional script here and there.  I recently was put on supervised probation, and have to attend classes 3xs a week. 8wks ago i tore ligaments in my foot and ankle, so as long as i have a valid script, i get in no trouble.  BUT - I'm tired. I'm sick of letting this addiction run EVERY aspect of my life. I feel like an empty shell, even wrote a song about it...  I NEED to quit.  And I don't scare easily, but quitting this scares the sh!t out of me.  Not only the fear of WD's - but life in general, without the pills. SO...
Do I CT it, or taper off?  I really don't want to try subox or m-done, knowing my addictive lifestyle.  Ive read ALOT of posts on here, and the Thomas recipe sounds promising, but I really don't know what to do. I need your input on this, and any encouragement would be greatly appreciated.  I truly admire all of you, from people like me that have enough guts to post on here that they are going to quit, to the people that HAVE quit...   please, any suggestions on how, what to do, how long will the WDs last, all of it.  I want to know what to expect...   Thanks so much.

[Baker3336]

No problem, it sounds like you really want to be done. Stay active on this site it will help more than you think. It helped me tremendously. I still check it everyday and will continue to do so. I know the first week will be tough but stick with it. It will feel almost impossible to do but try to get a little exercise if ya can. Don't over do it but just little walks with iPod or something will help. Hot baths as hot as you can handle kinda takes the edge off for a while. Another thing that I'm surprised no one really mentions is having sex (when your not feeling at your worst) if ya have the means anyway. It gets your endorphins going. Anything that feels good that isn't your meds helps. I wish ya the best of luck and I'm sure you can do it. Look at how many success stories there are. You can be one of them. Just get through those first few days and try not to think too much about the future without pills. Check ya later..

[rekluse2011]

Thanks Baker.  I guess the only thing left to do, is to just do it.  I do have some-what of a support system, and the woman i'm staying with right now says she will help every way she can. I just need to do it. I have a couple left, no money left, and no job to worry about taking time off.  So I guess it's time to quit all the talking and do it.  Scared big time, and somewhat excited.  But it's got to be done, or I WILL end up in jail or worse.  I have to go to my class soon, so I will getting off of here, but I will let everyone know when I start to go cold turkey. I have to ask the woman I'm with to go to store and get the things I'll need for the Thomas recipe, and make sure I'll be able to stay here for at least a week more. I appreciate you and the advice. thanks again

[sudie58]

the length of withdrawals varies from person to person, days 5/6 was when i started to feel a little better, and a lot of folk say day4 is the worst, (i felt the same), most stuff in the thomas recipe does help , and its important to keep your fluid intake up.
the way i looked at it was every bad feeling etc in withdrawal was my body getting well again, you may feel a bit emotional as the drug leaves your system, this is normal as your brain gets used to being without pills, go for it, stay strong and get on with it, its really worth it, and we are here for you,  

[rekluse2011]

Thank you.
And I do know of an N/A meeting site, I just haven't made it to any of the meetings, yet. So 4-5 days til the worst is past...   ok.  Thanks for answering my question.

[Baker3336]

I was taking norco 10/325 anywhere from 6-12 a day depending on how many I had. I was able to do a short 1 week taper and I didn't enjoy it. It just seemed to prolong the inevitable. I think it would be hard to do a taper if your getting most of your meds off the street, you'll just keep getting more and it will have no real structure. I had a script waiting for me for 120 and just said screw it I'm done so it was kinda cold turkey. My last day I took 3. I'm on day 40 something(can't remember exactly) but I'm so glad I quit. I'll give ya a little run down of what I went through. I had every withdrawal symptom except vomiting. The first 3 days were the worst, aches, cramps, sweats restlessness, didn't sleep more than a few hours total in the first 3-4 days. The worst part in the first few days was the feeling that my heart was gonna explode in my chest. I was terrified. I had access to a few Xanax but I don't really like them, tried them anyway and they didn't help much. I used some of the stuff on Thomas recipe but not to a tee. It didn't seem like anything was helping so I figured I just had to wait it out and take it like a man. I can go on and on about how miserable it was the first week but now I want to tell ya some positives.. At the three week point I finally started sleeping regularly everyday just got better and better I have more energy now than I've had in a while I've had a couple rough days but tolerable. I'm waking up and not thinking about pills all day long. I'm having fun with my family again and it's great. I'll write a little more of the positives later. I have to go now but u can quit cold turkey you were on them for a long time but not an insane dose like 30 a day. Be strong and think positive. Check ya later..

[petroglyph54]

It doesn't really look like tapering is going to work for ya. Did you know Eric Clapton started a re-hab clinic on some carribean island just for musicians? Don't know if it's still going but it was/is a great thing to do. When you/we get to a certain point with the drugs it's either the hospital, jail or death. That is the places narcotics takes us. You seem ready for a change, and it just won't happen unless you do it. Cold turkey isn't fun but will get this mostly over for you as far as the physical symptoms go in 4-5 days. I sincerely recommend you look for the local n/a meeting and try it, there are no fees and nothing to sign, walk out anytime. No one understands wd's like someone who's come out the other side or in the middle of them. So no explanations necessary, I always feel better after a meeting. There's tons of advice here about how to alleviate your wd symptom's, so read and help yourself know what the real deal is. You can get your life back and your music. Post when you can and best of luck to you.

[rekluse2011]

Thank you, sudie
Can you tell me how long the physical symptoms will last? I realize everyone is different, but from what I've gathered on here, and others, the worst is the first week?  Some say that after about a week, it's like a light goes on and the physical stuff is gone, and you will feel great.  I honestly have my doubts on that, and i don't want to expect to feel "great" in case i don't - and then get discouraged, and do something stupid.
Rekluse

[sudie58]

i think it is down to personal choice in this, its very good you want to quit, and get your life back.you do need a strong will to taper,  i found it too difficult and wanted it over with,if you do taper, its a good idea to let someone have your pills and then give them to you as you lower the dose, in my opinion there is no avoiding the physical symptoms, either way, so i would just get on with it, get the stuff in from the thomas recipe, it really does help, its good to prepare, and try and have a positive mindset, as thats half the battle, keep posting, we can help you, i wish you well , god bless.  sudie