What is that medication you mentioned? Is that prescribed? I think im just going to have to start 100% fresh and just find a whole new dr and have them ACTUALLY get me OFF opioids instead of replacing them with an even more powerful/harder to get off opioid. Do you think ill be ok by 1/1/10? That looks like thatll be my clean year. Ive never been so ready to quit this ****
Ok ill start my search first thing Monday morning. Thank you for your help tonight. I think ill be sleeping a little easier now :) Have a wonderful night. Ill let you know how it goes
-Kelly
Welllll since you ask......lol....... Look for a new doctor, on Monday. You don't owe the current doc any explanation, perhaps when you are stronger write a letter and tell her exactly why you decided to go with a different physician, I wouldn't worry about the insurance, if they do happen to question you, be honest.
Hunker up with your husband, get a good night's sleep and have a great day tomorrow at DisneyLand!! And for now that is all you have to do..... love your husband, sleep well, and get Goofy's autograph tomorrow!!!
Please let me know how you are doing on Monday. Good night sweetie....Jeanette
(ps a good boo hoo always makes one feel better)
Every action I do shes in my mind. Im lucky to have the memory of the love my mom gave me. She took care of me and I took care of her. She was not just my mom but my bestfriend. I wish every girl was as lucky as me or your daughter.
I know im looking way too far into this whole withdrawal thing and scaring myself, only making it worse. My job is already hanging by a thread, if im going through withdrawal dragging my body around for a month ill be out in a second.. At this point ive just put it all in Gods hands and just taper myself off the vicodin since it gives me no real feeling and just focus on being normal. Maybe that light at the end of the tunnel will stop looking like a train soon?
And yes, I am very lucky to have a husband. Its harder cause im off weekends and he works them but hes home right now and making me crack up. He kinda understands whats going on. All he really knew was that it was very expensive and didnt know why cause he doesnt see me as a strung out addict. But hes happy im off and just keeps pushing me forward. We're actually going to Disneyland tomorrow so im sure that can be nothing but great for my recovery. Just have to get through the night :-/
Thank you for giving me hope. You speak like my mom and keep me in tears through the whole thing. I guess thats the great thing about moms. They can make the biggest boo-boos feel better lol
Do you think I should go to the same Dr or should I look for a new one? I just feel so betrayed I cant even bring myself to call to tell her what I think of her practices.. I have a PPO so it shouldnt be too hard but its new insurance so I dont want them thinking im this big addict trying to get prescription pills and dr hopping. I cant wait til im back to normal and can go about my life.
I am so sorry, I am sure you must miss your mom so very much.... but you know all those sayings, they are true.... she is in your heart and your mind and no one can ever take the memories or her love away from you.... as you think of her, she is with you, you are an integral part of her and you always and forever ever will be, as she is with you.
Honey, please, you have insurance don't be embarrassed, this is your life and you need and deserve the best medical help that is available to you, please commit to changing doctors and finding one that will help you in your goals and ease your apprehension and fears, I am not saying it will be easy, you know it will take alot of hard work and some pain..... but please make it as tolerable as possible and with someone you have confidence in and feel comfortable and included in the decisions for your treatment. Perhaps stop reading the scary stories or article for the rest of the weekend, find a good book, distract your mind on something more pleasant or entertaining while you worry :) try to ease you mind, even if it is just for a few hours. Watch a good movie. Call a friend, or family member, ask them to come over... do you have someone you trust that you can reach out to? I know it's late but perhaps tomorrow you could go to an AA meeting, or to church in the morning....
Your post touches my heart, all I can say is I care, I will pray for you and please keep posting.... there are others here that know your pain of w/d and they will have some great advise for you.... take good care of you, and please know you are loved.
Your words give me hope.. I lost my mom to cancer 2 years ago and have been on a downward spiral ever since... Ive been taking care of her since I was 11 years old and when hospice took her from me, thats when I got addicted to Vicodin. I had so much weight on my shoulders that it was the most intense amount of pain ive ever endoured.. The past hour has been absolutly miserable. I took a hot shower in hopes of feeling better and it took everything in me to get out of that shower and dry off but I kept hearing my mom say "Your almost done.. just keep pushing youself.." The thought of feeling like this everyday is so scary to me. Your daughter is lucky to have a mom to help her though her struggle and shes also lucky she got a good dr. All I did was hear a bunch of commercials about turntohelp.com and got a random dr off there, being too ashamed to go through my insurance to admit a problem. Im def. not wanting to go back to the doctor that started me on this. The fact that she would increase my dose for pain blows my mind. Thats not what its for and now im suffering because of it. But I am checking my liver. I got it checked a few months ago and it was fine since I was only addicted for about a year or 2,never got anything on the street and never strayed from my prescription.. addicted for 2 weeks, wd 2 weeks lol its a weird story but after reading everything im getting more and more scared and frustrated cause i should have never been on this. Had i researched this a year ago or had the right information given to me at the dr I would never be in this situation. Im going to have to go cold turkey in about a week anyway cause im almost out of my prescription.. Please pray.. this is miserable :(
I want to share a different experience with you, I am the mom of an oxy addict that was using at her "prime" smoking 6 to 8 80mgs of oxy per day.. throw in some meth, coke a joint or any other drug she could get her hands on... truly a miracle she didn't die. 3 times thru rehab finally after the last relapse she went on Suboxone with a very good doctor that held her to a contract of responsibility for getting clean. Using the Suboxone to facilitate her chance of living sober, to allow her mind to truly grasp and follow thru in a responsible manner for treatment of sobriety. I am sorry I will tell you right now I do not agree with the "trading one drug for another" Suboxone debate, if that were the case she would still be lying stealing manipulating etc etc rather she has completed in treatment, and intensive out patient, goes to NA or AA on a weekly basis.. and sober living (still in sober living).... I was with her thru multiple oxy w/d's and it scared the heck out of me to see her so sick, but she could handle the physical, the mental a few weeks after the physical w/d always bit her in the uh-huh, and she would relapse. She was on Sub for approx 4 to 5 months, and taken off with a taper and her w/d was minimal at best. She is still sober and has been since February of 2009.... amazing.
I hope you want to get sober more so than the fear of w/d.... and I hope you are getting your liver checked as the amount of Tylenol you are taking is as concerning as your hydro addiction.... I don't know hun, I can only share what my daughter went thru and I have been there with her all the way..... the Suboxone w/d horror stories were NOT what she experienced in quitting Sub, but again she had a good doc and it was used as a tool in conjunction with extensive treatment, not a magic wand to erase her addiction to the oxy, so it was an all encompassing plan...
I can hear the fear in your words and I hope you will talk with your doctor about your concerns or if you do have insurance check into some other doctors that will help you thru this journey. Trust me, we did a whole lot of investigating before going the Suboxone route and then checking out those doctors, please educate yourself on getting the best treatment available to you.
I hope you will find some peace soon, and a healthy mind body and soul.....
Welcome,
I agree doctors need to be informing to there patients about what they are really getting themselves into. In some cases for longtime hard core users it can be a good tool towards soberity or in cases when we people are taking like huge amounts of tylenol that can cause liver toxicity when the benefits out weight risks .
You have done great tapering down the sub but the taking vics again to get off the sub it just going to keep you on this roller coaster it time to jump off .Talk to you doctor about some meds to help the WD clonidine is a blood pressure med that can help alot something for nausea and muscle relaxant .All could make WD easier for you and so you can get off the roller coster once and for all.