Coming out of lurking to ask for help

[TryingDaily]

Here I am, an addict.  Something I thought I would never become.  I mean, addicts were dirty and nasty, but here I am.  

That actually felt good to be able to tell someone.  Here's the story.  Started taking hydros and stadol nose spray for migraines, only when I needed them.  I started liking the way I felt when I took them when I really didn't need them, so I've found myself taking anywhere from 6-8 hydro 10's a day and going through a bottle of stadol n.s. in a week and a half.

Now, to where I am at.  Both of my scripts have run out, and I don't want to take a chance on my wife starting to suspect anything by going back to the dr.  So, over the last two weeks--I started the "taper" method that I've read about on here (by the way--you all are the bravest people in the WORLD!).  I took my last hydro on Mon. night. Now, I can't say that I don't want to go back to the dr. for another script, but I've decided that I am worth more and my family is worth more than that buzz.

Now, where do I go from here?  Will life return to normal at some point?  Help me see the light at the end of the tunnel, that I am sure will be there when I get there.

TD

[L's R Misery]

Yes man it will go back to normal if you allow it.  I was on and off of pills for a couple of years when i was a teenager i'm 24 now and i've been on them solid for 3 years about to detox myself so maybe we can keep each other posted man it's a bad feeling but it's well worth it. Plus i have close family who will give me pills any time i ask so it's extra hard for me i have to do it for myself even though they are very supportive in my decision i know there will be dinners where people are getting out their bottles after supper......ouch that's gonna hurt but i plan to stay in bed this wknd hopefully not see any of that if i can just make it through the wknd i'm telling myself i'll be ok and go back to work on monday and i believe anything can be achieved with enough endurance so that's what i'm gonna do  take care man gl with the family

good luck, B

[LIZZIE LOU]

i love it when someone comes on and says that they have been lurking...reading...and is ready to turn things around.   congratulations! ! ! !

i hope that you have been reading long enough to see that ppl are all different...and what works for one...doesn't necessarily work for the other...but there are many options to choose from...something will be "right" for you.   you have taken a powerful first step...admitting that you have a problem and wanting to do something about it.

as the mother of three addicted sons...let me tell you how much it means to me to hear you say that you don't want to do this to your wife...that is the one thing that addicts...blinded by their drug of choice...fail to see...what it does to their loved ones.   it may seem strange...but i must say thank you :)

you have come to a loving and supportive place...and i am sure that someone...many...will help you along your journey.   stay strong and do whatever it takes to reclaim your life...your sober life.   the journey...the long road ahead of you...will be worth every effort you make.

welcome...

kim

[beachtowel]

Welcome to the forum.....
I hear the words but actions are much harder but can be a reality if you do decide to work hard for you recovery...its not easy.......
First step is admitting that your powerless against your drug of choice sounds like narcotic pain pills and that your life has become unmanageable .........

This the first step but the hardest to achieve.........
You will need support, addicts think they can did there way out of addiction there self and that is a big problem......

I've said this before and it is very true to quit using is only the beginning and recovery is another ball game all together.......

you asked if getting back to normal is possible the answer is yes......

But are you willing to do the work?

[TryingDaily]

You all don't know what it means to me to be able to talk about this stuff to someone.  Any and all of my friends would've immediately told my wife--not because they wanted to hurt me but because they wanted to make sure I got the help that I needed.

I slept about 4 hrs last night.  My 3 yr old wanted to sleep with mommy, therefore I got to sleep in her bed.  While laying there and wondering if this was all worth the irritability, headache, and upset stomach--I realized that I could smell the lotion that my wife puts on my daughter after a bath, on my daughter's comforter.

It really is worth it, isn't it?  I can do this.  I've read on here that this has been beat by others, and that lets me know that I am bigger than those blue pills.  

Thanks so much for the support.  Believe me, you'll be seeing me around for a while :)

TD

[tnbrowneyes]

Each day will seem to be harder..but..trust me on day 5 here with no hydro's and loving myself for stopping them. Its great that you are willing to admit and take the next step to being clean. im glad your here and glad you see your not alone and that alot of these ppl are further along than others and they have made great changes in their lives. Thats my goal..to get clean and begin the rest of my drug free life.
be strong !!

[TryingDaily]

A clean drug free life.  That's where I want to be also.  I'm just wondering if I should let my wife know what's going on.  I know that she'll be very disappointed and I know that she'll be one notch higher than mad.

I think I'll see how things are going doing this on my own.  I'm sure I'll tell her at some point, but I don't think I could deal with the way I am feel from the WD and deal with the emotions from family.

TD