Chef....LOL...that is here also. I do not even have a traffic light!!! LOL
Persnick, thank you. Yes, I know how to contact you and thanks.
I have looked into my options and at the moment none of them seem feasible, but I am not giving up.
ahh small town we dont have those in southern cali I understand! my hubby is from kentucky his town is so small if you fart the whole town knows!!!! lol
How about journaling privately - just in a notebook - but not on the forum?
Is there a town somewhat close you could travel to for NA?
Have you checked with any counselors or a community mental health center to determine payment options? A lot of counselors and most state/county funded mental health centers will offer reduced fees based on income.
I am learning that digging down to the root of the addiction issue is going to be key for me. Otherwise, I am afraid that I will end up continually substituting one substance for another.
By the way, you know how to contact me and I hope you know that you can do that anytime you need to talk.
I'll be thinking about you.
Thank you Chef, it is not really the fact of being found out, it is the fact that if I was to get into very personal things, I am afraid the entire town would hear it in less than 24 hours. Maybe I am paranoid, but this is a VERY small town and I love it here, but everyone knows everyone else's business. There are things from my past that I just can't speak of hardly to one person, let alone a room full of people. I will try something though. I have got some great options from you all and I am going to hit this head on somehow! Thanks everyone.
can you try a N.A meeting in a diffrent town? they are a great source of support find a sponser you trust sooner or later we have to deal with being "found out" and we should be proud of ourselves for changing and the ppl the judge who needs them anyway!!! you will be suprised at ppl I told some church ppl they were amazing and embraced me and our very supportive
I agree. Talking is so helpful.
gtm...so true....sometimes tho this is something we need to work on within ourselves...talking to someone on the outside of the situation can add alot of clear advice...even a friend....meetings are great...and posting is so helpful as well..just gotta get to the root of the problem and than at least we know the problem!
GTMI and R2R......THANK YOU BOTH SOOOOOO MUCH!!!
R2R....IT ABSOLUTELY MADE PERFECT SENSE TO ME. I HAVE THE FEELING THAT YOU TOTALLY UNDERSTAND. THANK YOU.
There is wisdom in a multitude of counselors. If your church has counseling, go there. Use all the resources available to you. You have come so far and you are now on one of the biggest pivotal points in your recovery. When you face you're demons head on they will lose. The only way they succeed is to stay in the shadows.
I understand exactly what you are saying.....I am not sure about your religion., and try not to speak of it much here....But for me i have talk to a pastor too, and gosh what a great feeling i had from that...Also if there is one person here that you totally trust, and can talk to them that might help....When we open up old wounds we really need someone we can trust, either to not tell someone, or just not to judge us...hope this made sense? because i think i just confused my da mn self....LOL
r2r
Worried, I am glad that you know your triggers. Yes, sometimes just knowing does help. Other times, it is much deeper than just knowing unfortunately. I am glad to hear that you can move forward. That is great and you are doing an awesome job!!
after i quit, my triggers started slapping me in the face hard! I knew almost immediately what my main problem is when i did not instantaneously take a pill to erase it...it is my x-husband and regrets....should have dealt with this a long time ago but have been running ever since...running where?...i have no idea...obviously i have been running nowhere...i cant really go to a counseler either...i could i guess but isexpensive...i know i need to let it go and i think perhaps now that it has dawned on me what the issue is...i can move forward...just knowing helps i think
Thank you sweetie!! Yes, I know you are here, and thank you.
Well....you know where I'm at. ;) Whatever, Whenever...like Mike said...we're here for each other and we really care, as you do for us. I know you have a physician, ask him for suggestions on counciling. Did I spell that right? anyhow, you know what I mean...check the colleges for interns needing new clients...or...like usarmy said churches and meetings...
anyhow $.02 worth
NG
Lisa....thank you. You know I appreciate that, and I know you are here for me!! Love you too.
I just want you to know i love you so much and i AM here for you..We have had some rough times...LOL ti say the least,,but you know what...thats why we are friends..Please don't keep your pain bottled up..You are such a good person..What can i say..i love the hell out of you..LOL
Thank you, seriously. That made me have a huge smile. I appreciate it!!
It has been gloomy and rainy and blah, but I managed to drag my butt to the yard and get my bird feeders ready, and some of my bulbs have sprouted up!!! Sure sign that Spring has sprung finally!! Yeah!!
P.S. My family will meet yours there!!
Think of all those good memories. You have many many more to come.
I knew I would get you to smile on that. The weather has been pretty ****** here. But its getting better. Once that sun comes out It is gonna be beutiful and uplifting here before ya know it and the Dog Patch will be calling.
Army....LMAO at your title to me!! Thank you, I really needed that smile.
Mike....thank you! You made me cry!!!!!!!
where did i get that from? LOL see find your close friend you can trust.
IF YOU EVER NEED ME:
If you ever need me,
I am right here,
To help you through the sadness,
And wipe away a tear.
If you ever need me,
I am only a phone call away,
Ready to listen,
And ease your pain away.
If you ever need me,
I will always be around,
To bring you laughter,
Whenever you are down.
If you ever need me,
Don’t hesitate to ask,
I’ll help with anything,
Even the smallest task.
If you ever need me,
Just picture my face,
I am with you always,
Anytime……Anyplace
I would definitely not open up all in a meeting setting. People talk to much find someone you know you can trust and start there with sharing as much as you feel comfortable with . I don't care about saying anything on here as no one knows me but I choose not to think or express alot thats all so as far as you guys knowing info it is no big deal.