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Could I have caused any liver damage from my Vicodin addiction?
So I have been off Vicodin for 8 days. I was taking 80mg of Hydrocodone everyday for 4 months straight. Could I have caused permanent Liver damage from that 4 month period? If I did do any damage, will it heal since I won't be taking ANY Vicodin anymore?
How do I get a Doctor who knows a lot about Aspergers? How the heck do I find one in my area? I really think I need to get a diagnosis for my aspergers because I want to be able to draw Social Security if I absolutely need to which looks like I'm going to have to because I can't function in a work place (Socially at least).
I used to attract girls a lot more when I wasn't so damn insecure. I use to not think about girls in public and was focused on whatever I was doing, and girls would just watch me like i was intriguing and they would smile at me a lot. At the time i just didn't care if girls noticed me.
Now all i think about in public is if girls are looking at me and i always look at every attractive girl that walks by hoping I'll be noticed, and it's like I'm invisible. I feel like i try really hard and force things like that now. It's almost as if my insecurities are being projected through my actions and behaviors.
It's like when I'm happy and content, and don't care whether I'm noticed, i GET noticed. Like wtf??
I started getting insecure like this at 17 when my hormones kicked into overdrive. I'm 20 and still growing/developing. I have really long legs, arms, and big hands and head BUT i got a little short torso. My doctor says my torso will grow longer to match my other limbs, which will put me over 6' if it does. I honestly think I'm just going through an awkward phase.
Now all i think about in public is if girls are looking at me and i always look at every attractive girl that walks by hoping I'll be noticed, and it's like I'm invisible. I feel like i try really hard and force things like that now. It's almost as if my insecurities are being projected through my actions and behaviors.
It's like when I'm happy and content, and don't care whether I'm noticed, i GET noticed. Like wtf??
I started getting insecure like this at 17 when my hormones kicked into overdrive. I'm 20 and still growing/developing. I have really long legs, arms, and big hands and head BUT i got a little short torso. My doctor says my torso will grow longer to match my other limbs, which will put me over 6' if it does. I honestly think I'm just going through an awkward phase.
AHA!...see, there is something! GIRLS!..........now we're on to something...that's an interest of yours.......this is one thing that should be worth sticking around for! Confidence is all you need to talk to girls.....how can we get you some confidence, young dude? What's your thoughts about this?
Have you ever been evaluated for Asperger's? If not, and you suspect you have it, I'd recommend you get that done. You can learn to catch social cues, you can learn what motivates normal humans, you can learn how to interact with them. In fact, you may find that you get so good at it that you have a natural advantage. But just trying to figure it out on your own takes forever and isn't very efficient. If you're diagnosed, you can work with an expert who will speed your learning along rapidly.
As far at wanting to attract pretty girls, the first thing to do is get yourself sorted out. Once you have your own game together, things like that fall into place.
As far at wanting to attract pretty girls, the first thing to do is get yourself sorted out. Once you have your own game together, things like that fall into place.
my suggestion is talking to a therapist or counselor that could give you guidance and exercises to practice, .
it almost sounds like gad (generalized anxiety disorder)which can really be helped by one on one therapy.
as far as talking, i really enjoy stimulating conversation, about alot of things from politics to computers to cars, & racing , fishing, boating etc, just start talking about whatever you are interested in, and remember most ppl really open up to a warm smile and friendliness, humans arent all that much different deep down IMO, only the evil ones :(. , you never know what people are going through so its good to be kind.
as far as girls, friend first love later = healthy relationship ....
it almost sounds like gad (generalized anxiety disorder)which can really be helped by one on one therapy.
as far as talking, i really enjoy stimulating conversation, about alot of things from politics to computers to cars, & racing , fishing, boating etc, just start talking about whatever you are interested in, and remember most ppl really open up to a warm smile and friendliness, humans arent all that much different deep down IMO, only the evil ones :(. , you never know what people are going through so its good to be kind.
as far as girls, friend first love later = healthy relationship ....
One thing I didn't mention is i have a lot of symptoms of a person with aspergers, and i only found out a couple of years ago. For instance, i don't have any interests like a normal person, i have a really hard time talking to people and understanding how to make a convo flow, people look at me like I'm weird in public and girls never make eye contact with me (I'm not ugly at all, the only thing I can think of is i give off a bad impression by my body language)
I think i was born with some sort of developmental disorder. I'm really physically weak and I'm not a normal person. I don't find any interest in talking to people, like what the h-e-l-l is so interesting to talk about? I just don't understand people.
The weird thing is you would never think i have aspergers. I look completely normal, people just tell me I don't look like i want to talk to anybody and that i look really uncomfortable around people, which i really am. I've never had any female friends because it takes me a long time get comfortable talking normal with another person and girls won't give a guy like me that much time to get comfortable around them, thus never getting a girlfriend either. To be honest, I hate myself and wish i could die right now. The reason why this feels so hopeless is because i have ABSOLUTELY NO control over my life.
I just want to be able to attract the girls i see and find really pretty, like other guys. The worst part about it is I know i would be able to if I wasn't held back by my mind, i know i have potential. I've had some really good looking girls giving me the eye in public, but it only happens occasionally and it makes me feel like crap because i know i would be able to get that more often if only i was normal or had confidence and didn't worry about girls.
I think i was born with some sort of developmental disorder. I'm really physically weak and I'm not a normal person. I don't find any interest in talking to people, like what the h-e-l-l is so interesting to talk about? I just don't understand people.
The weird thing is you would never think i have aspergers. I look completely normal, people just tell me I don't look like i want to talk to anybody and that i look really uncomfortable around people, which i really am. I've never had any female friends because it takes me a long time get comfortable talking normal with another person and girls won't give a guy like me that much time to get comfortable around them, thus never getting a girlfriend either. To be honest, I hate myself and wish i could die right now. The reason why this feels so hopeless is because i have ABSOLUTELY NO control over my life.
I just want to be able to attract the girls i see and find really pretty, like other guys. The worst part about it is I know i would be able to if I wasn't held back by my mind, i know i have potential. I've had some really good looking girls giving me the eye in public, but it only happens occasionally and it makes me feel like crap because i know i would be able to get that more often if only i was normal or had confidence and didn't worry about girls.
Hi again ;)
No One is judging You!
In fact, it's understandable from what you're describing that you find yourself using. There's a void in your life that needs filling. Please, don't be so quick to dismiss your potential & your possible future! There are so many areas to look into -- possibilities to check out that might not be the usual conventional fare. I promise you one thing,: everyone has talents & abilities. Most people need to search for what they're good at & to develop them. (Few are just born with them :) What really matters is whether or not you're willing to take a chance & dare to believe in yourself. It sounds like you may have had some disappointments or that someone, somewhere along the line discouraged you. Is this the case?
So, what kind of jobs have you had so far? What is it that you're studying in school that you don't care for? Is there anything that you admire out there? A friend maybe that does something that you think is cool but you feel might be out of your grasp?
There are all sorts of cool things to do. I'm just going to throw a few out there (and if they're not up your alley -- if they sound silly -- there are many others! You just gotta' explore a little):
For instance: Do you like animals? How about learning to train guide dogs or working for a rescue center? Do you like music? How about studying to be a recording tech? You're a gamer. How about a video game tester? Do you like the outdoors? How about Forestry? There are all kinds of possibilities when you start exploring. All it takes is a little motivation & curiosity.
You're worth it! :)
You may not have anyone to talk to right now but that can change! For now, you're totally welcome here :)
No One is judging You!
In fact, it's understandable from what you're describing that you find yourself using. There's a void in your life that needs filling. Please, don't be so quick to dismiss your potential & your possible future! There are so many areas to look into -- possibilities to check out that might not be the usual conventional fare. I promise you one thing,: everyone has talents & abilities. Most people need to search for what they're good at & to develop them. (Few are just born with them :) What really matters is whether or not you're willing to take a chance & dare to believe in yourself. It sounds like you may have had some disappointments or that someone, somewhere along the line discouraged you. Is this the case?
So, what kind of jobs have you had so far? What is it that you're studying in school that you don't care for? Is there anything that you admire out there? A friend maybe that does something that you think is cool but you feel might be out of your grasp?
There are all sorts of cool things to do. I'm just going to throw a few out there (and if they're not up your alley -- if they sound silly -- there are many others! You just gotta' explore a little):
For instance: Do you like animals? How about learning to train guide dogs or working for a rescue center? Do you like music? How about studying to be a recording tech? You're a gamer. How about a video game tester? Do you like the outdoors? How about Forestry? There are all kinds of possibilities when you start exploring. All it takes is a little motivation & curiosity.
You're worth it! :)
You may not have anyone to talk to right now but that can change! For now, you're totally welcome here :)
You can learn any skill you want. You aren't limited by how you were born.
Sounds to me like you're angry at everything. I agree that seeking some professional help for the way you feel is a good idea. From what I remember in the depression forum, you never gave any treatment any real try.
Sounds to me like you're angry at everything. I agree that seeking some professional help for the way you feel is a good idea. From what I remember in the depression forum, you never gave any treatment any real try.
Nobody is judging you. You're young with your whole life ahead of you. Something will interest you. What class do you take at the community college? If you hate it why don't you drop it. Maybe spend some time looking through other courses that might interest you? You said you like video games? Maybe something in graphics? Like I said you're young,something one day will interest you.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Are you on any antidepressants right now? I have a feeling you have many more skills than you give yourself credit for. I know you dont see that right now so hopefully in time you will.
I have no ******* goals, i have no idea what i want to do with my life, i take one class at a community college, i don't have a job, and i don't have any hobbies, and don't talk to anybody. Literally NOBODY
I can't do anything in school because I'm not interested in any subject and HATE being there. I have no choice but to work a minimum wage job for the rest of my life because that's all I can do. **** anyone who decides to judge me on that because it's not my fault I was born with the skills I have.
I can't do anything in school because I'm not interested in any subject and HATE being there. I have no choice but to work a minimum wage job for the rest of my life because that's all I can do. **** anyone who decides to judge me on that because it's not my fault I was born with the skills I have.
You didn't answer my questions earlier...what are your goals for the future? Are you in school of any kind? Do you work? Any hobbies, exercise?
Hon, at your young age, you should have a life full of challenges, plans and work! I think that in itself may be an issue for you. If you had more of a sense of growth or accomplishment, that would help you all around, your anxiety, self esteem, self worth, etc.
You're at home living with your parents, which may be fine for now....but it sounds like you aren't very proactive about getting out there and seeking things to do, or planning your future. The only person that can do those things is you. Take the bull by the horns!
Hon, at your young age, you should have a life full of challenges, plans and work! I think that in itself may be an issue for you. If you had more of a sense of growth or accomplishment, that would help you all around, your anxiety, self esteem, self worth, etc.
You're at home living with your parents, which may be fine for now....but it sounds like you aren't very proactive about getting out there and seeking things to do, or planning your future. The only person that can do those things is you. Take the bull by the horns!
Damn, so if an older person took opiates for awhile then their brain and body will never heal? That *****. I always thought healing was possible if you just stop taking them.
I understand what you mean by the mental challenge of staying away from them in 6 months, 1 year etc. I get that the whole point is to not get back in the trap people fall into.
I'm not sure on what to do to keep me entertained. I'm not interested in sports, school, or reading. I like energetic fun things like hanging out with friends, playing video games, and I'm not sure what else i like. I get bored sitting still on a couch watching people throw a freakin ball.
I understand what you mean by the mental challenge of staying away from them in 6 months, 1 year etc. I get that the whole point is to not get back in the trap people fall into.
I'm not sure on what to do to keep me entertained. I'm not interested in sports, school, or reading. I like energetic fun things like hanging out with friends, playing video games, and I'm not sure what else i like. I get bored sitting still on a couch watching people throw a freakin ball.
Hi there :)
You've got age on your side! If you truly never pick up again (& also stay away from other mind-altering chemicals), you'll heal. It takes time though. I mean, consider the fact that we didn't become dependent in a day or a month. It takes a while to bounce back but the brain in 'plastic'.
What you describe re: your emotions is very common & I think that your instincts that it's attributable to your feelings returning full-force is on the money. In short, yes, it's the Vikes. Most people are on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for a few weeks while our systems struggle to adjust & begin the gradual process of healing neurally. I understand your concern with the physical (it's very important) but the most important part of this whole thing will be how you're doing in 3 mos., 6 mos. -- a year, etc. That turns out to be the challenge.
I'm glad the depression passed. Hang in there. Any thoughts on how to keep yourself busy -- how to address that boredom of yours? :)
You've got age on your side! If you truly never pick up again (& also stay away from other mind-altering chemicals), you'll heal. It takes time though. I mean, consider the fact that we didn't become dependent in a day or a month. It takes a while to bounce back but the brain in 'plastic'.
What you describe re: your emotions is very common & I think that your instincts that it's attributable to your feelings returning full-force is on the money. In short, yes, it's the Vikes. Most people are on a bit of an emotional roller-coaster for a few weeks while our systems struggle to adjust & begin the gradual process of healing neurally. I understand your concern with the physical (it's very important) but the most important part of this whole thing will be how you're doing in 3 mos., 6 mos. -- a year, etc. That turns out to be the challenge.
I'm glad the depression passed. Hang in there. Any thoughts on how to keep yourself busy -- how to address that boredom of yours? :)
You say opiates change the way we experience pleasure in our brains, and also block our emotions. Are these changes permanent? I mean is my brain permanently damaged or is it gonna heal since I'm not going to be taking any more pills?
When I came off Vicodin 12 days ago, I experienced a really bleak depression about 3 days after stopping them. I think it was my emotions coming back full force. It was the worst depression i have ever felt, but thankfully it only lasted like 8 hours. Was that from the withdrawal from the Vicodin?
When I came off Vicodin 12 days ago, I experienced a really bleak depression about 3 days after stopping them. I think it was my emotions coming back full force. It was the worst depression i have ever felt, but thankfully it only lasted like 8 hours. Was that from the withdrawal from the Vicodin?
Hi there :)
'No I don't need help. Earlier I didn't WANT to get off, that was my problem. Now I DO want to, so it's been really easy.'
First, congrats on your 10 Days! Second, I hear you. I too didn't get off until I Really, really wanted to but then I understood full well @ that point that I was an addict & what that would mean for me going forward. The thing is, that it's not really about getting the substance out of your body but about never again reaching for something when we feel bored, restless, depressed, etc. There's an old sardonic expression: 'I can kick anytime. It's easy. I've done it a million times' :)
I looked back into your posts & you sound like an intelligent guy. You mentioned @ one point that you stopped the SSRI's because you didn't like the way they blocked access to your emotions. Again, I hear you (they did the same to me). Unfortunately, opiates are a little trickier. In the first years (or whatever) they work. They give us 'energy', make it easier to deal with social situations, etc. & yeah, we do 'em for 'fun'. With continued use (even on & off), we start to see a slow decline in our lives. They affect our relationships with others, we start to lose interest in certain pursuits & plans & eventually change the way we think about & do for ourselves. They actually change the reward pathways in our brains. The healthier things that used to give us pleasure are pushed to the side or blotted out altogether till we finally realize one day that we're no longer in the driver's seat -- that these pills are & that they're no longer a tool for enjoyment but a necessity for a diminished existence. I think that maybe this is what Clean_In_KS was talking about above. A lot of folks, (me included), are really startled to discover after months clean (not days) the degree to which opiates were masking our ability to access & handle our own emotions (which is a clue to why we continued to use in the first place). They tend to keep us at arms length from them.
You're very young & you have so much to live for -- so much in front of you if you stay the course you've initiated! You mentioned that you're not a 'denial' type person -- that you look @ the facts. That's great. In order to follow through with this & never look back (i.e. not go back for another stint down the line [cause each time it gets a little harder to come off & to not go back]) it's key that you @ least try to examine the reasons that you reach for Vikes. Boredom & apathy are two common reasons that people initially do this. It becomes a habit in and of itself & tends to sap your will -- your ability to exercise your 'go-get-'em'/I-believe-in-myself/I've got a practical plan for myself & there's cool stuff I want to do with my life' chops. Does that make any sense? (Chronic pot-smoking can do the same thing -- I'm sure you've seen the phenomenon). As stated above, there's so much to do & see 'clean' @ your age that won't be as enjoyable or perhaps possible @ a later age.
I'm posting this on the tail end of the many accurate things my friends above have mentioned in the hopes that some small part of it might resonate with you -- that it will turn the tumblers of your mind & heart & open you to Truly consider how sneaky this drug can be & that you'll consider the possibility that there might be a little more work to be done in order to leave this whole thing behind you.
Congrats again on coming off. Let's make it the last time, eh? :)
'No I don't need help. Earlier I didn't WANT to get off, that was my problem. Now I DO want to, so it's been really easy.'
First, congrats on your 10 Days! Second, I hear you. I too didn't get off until I Really, really wanted to but then I understood full well @ that point that I was an addict & what that would mean for me going forward. The thing is, that it's not really about getting the substance out of your body but about never again reaching for something when we feel bored, restless, depressed, etc. There's an old sardonic expression: 'I can kick anytime. It's easy. I've done it a million times' :)
I looked back into your posts & you sound like an intelligent guy. You mentioned @ one point that you stopped the SSRI's because you didn't like the way they blocked access to your emotions. Again, I hear you (they did the same to me). Unfortunately, opiates are a little trickier. In the first years (or whatever) they work. They give us 'energy', make it easier to deal with social situations, etc. & yeah, we do 'em for 'fun'. With continued use (even on & off), we start to see a slow decline in our lives. They affect our relationships with others, we start to lose interest in certain pursuits & plans & eventually change the way we think about & do for ourselves. They actually change the reward pathways in our brains. The healthier things that used to give us pleasure are pushed to the side or blotted out altogether till we finally realize one day that we're no longer in the driver's seat -- that these pills are & that they're no longer a tool for enjoyment but a necessity for a diminished existence. I think that maybe this is what Clean_In_KS was talking about above. A lot of folks, (me included), are really startled to discover after months clean (not days) the degree to which opiates were masking our ability to access & handle our own emotions (which is a clue to why we continued to use in the first place). They tend to keep us at arms length from them.
You're very young & you have so much to live for -- so much in front of you if you stay the course you've initiated! You mentioned that you're not a 'denial' type person -- that you look @ the facts. That's great. In order to follow through with this & never look back (i.e. not go back for another stint down the line [cause each time it gets a little harder to come off & to not go back]) it's key that you @ least try to examine the reasons that you reach for Vikes. Boredom & apathy are two common reasons that people initially do this. It becomes a habit in and of itself & tends to sap your will -- your ability to exercise your 'go-get-'em'/I-believe-in-myself/I've got a practical plan for myself & there's cool stuff I want to do with my life' chops. Does that make any sense? (Chronic pot-smoking can do the same thing -- I'm sure you've seen the phenomenon). As stated above, there's so much to do & see 'clean' @ your age that won't be as enjoyable or perhaps possible @ a later age.
I'm posting this on the tail end of the many accurate things my friends above have mentioned in the hopes that some small part of it might resonate with you -- that it will turn the tumblers of your mind & heart & open you to Truly consider how sneaky this drug can be & that you'll consider the possibility that there might be a little more work to be done in order to leave this whole thing behind you.
Congrats again on coming off. Let's make it the last time, eh? :)
I would be inclined to somewhat agree with you that this is no big deal, if you partied once, and then stopped. Your history is a pattern of abusing several different addictive medications, whether you're able to easily "stop" is irrelevant. Also, you may be able to stop, but it's never long before you turn to another substance. That is addiction, whether you want to admit it or not.
The people here would be more than willing to help you, but until you recognize that what you've been doing is putting you on a very slippery slope, nothing anyone says will impact you. You're worried about the wrong things....the possibilities of liver damage, etc. There is a much bigger risk here than that....but the issue is that you simply don't see it as a problem.
Good luck to you.
The people here would be more than willing to help you, but until you recognize that what you've been doing is putting you on a very slippery slope, nothing anyone says will impact you. You're worried about the wrong things....the possibilities of liver damage, etc. There is a much bigger risk here than that....but the issue is that you simply don't see it as a problem.
Good luck to you.
The answer will depend on your individual situation. I graduated HS at 17, did a year of college, then decided to travel for a year. Took a Greyhound to CA and spent a year bouncing around various SoCal beach communities. Made lots of friends, worked odd jobs, surfed, had crazy adventures, then went back to school after a year and finished college at 22. I smoked weed if someone had it and drank beer if it was around, but drugs were not a big part of my life back then. I developed an opiate habit in my 30's, and I can say for sure that I never would have done what I did in my 20's if I'd started using earlier. I grew from those experiences and would have missed them if I were addicted to opiates. Hopefully that makes sense.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm not sure if you are just messing with us or you are totally serious thinking you can be bored, take some pills and stop whenever. Do you realize you are on a Substance Abuse forum? We have all danced with the devil, seen friends and family die from this addiction. Guess what? We all started out thinking just like you are right now.
You said there is nothing to do at home......do your parents do everything for you?
You said there is nothing to do at home......do your parents do everything for you?
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