Could this be any harder...un real...

[liscamdave]

So, I am looking through my purse to find my gum, and low and behold what do I find. An 80mg Oxy.. I am now on day 31 of my sobriety and can't believe what I am seeing. When I was going throught the worst of my w/d I went through my house and ransaked it for an Oxy, and NOW I find one. Is this a test? I am holding on to it, or should I chuck it? I think I have to chuck it. What I have to do is throw it is a glass of water, or in the toilet, so I won't go looking for it later....UGHHH>....I hate this...this is hard...

Just needed to vent...so angry now...

Lisa

[justlikeyou]

chuck it,

congrats on your 30+ days

it gets easier :)

[secret girl]

CHUCK IT - Remember the hold it had on you before....you are stronger then that lil thing in your hand...
It's a test...this is a real test for you too!!!!

[tztlady]

Flush, baby, flush!

[marcatj]

Lis, after reading your earlier post, you CAN'T take that.  go reread it again if you need to.

PLEASE go right now into the bathroom and flush it down the toilet.

[Yoda99]

Lisa please run, don't walk, to the bathroom and flush that evil little pill.  One 80 mg oxy won't do you any good and will only cause more cravings.  I know you don't want to ruin your sobriety, so flush that pill immediately.  You know you'll be glad you did.
Love,
Yoda

[liscamdave]

Ok, I walked it to the bathroom, performed a memorial and flushed it.....OMG...one month ago, I would be sick if I lost 1 whole 80mg oxy..Now, it made me sick to think about what would happen if I took it. I know I DO NOT want to go back to that place. Nor do I have the means to..I have to admit, seeing it, made me want that first rush you get when it hits you. I know no one wants to hear this, I am so sorry. Just need to vent. It would figure that after a whole month of NOT wanted them, now that I actually see one and it is in my hand, I want it.,.Fully knowing the dreadful outcome..

Oh well, not too worry, its gone..That took balls, for me to do...

Thanks guys, for all the love and support...I truly would not be where I am if it werent for you all...

Many hugs...to you all...

Lisa

[oneway]

wow if that were me that would have been loaded up in a needle in seconds.  you got crazy willpower.  read your email.

[liscamdave]

I am not sure what helped me flush that. Believe me, I was talking myself into it. I was like, well...31 days clean, if I eat this, then I can't go through withdrawal cause it is all out of my system anyway...But I know as soon as I would have eaten it. then I would have been on the phone to get more....

UGHHHHHH...unrealll....

Lisa

[secret girl]

CONGRATS!!! :)

The roles have been reversed......you are in control now!!
You are a true inspiration....keep it up!

[marcatj]

SO proud of you.... good job!

and again, that rush you think it's gonna be.. it ain't. i did it.  we remember the rush of oh, 8 or 10.

but that really is besides the point.  feel good about what you just did...

[liscamdave]

ughg,,I know...I just can't help but miss it...This is really, the hardest thing ever...And I feel so good now, better than I have in years....WHY ON EARTH would I EVER want to do that to myself again....

Anyway, thanks sweetie, you are ALWAYS there when one of us need you....Always...

xoxo, Lisa

[invincible]

Another woman with more balls than I have, I don't think I could have flushed it.  Way to go girl!!

[liscamdave]

Thank you so much. That is so sweet. I am trying the best I can, it seems to get harder, mentally, by the day. I was in a great frame of mind like two weeks ago, but not physically...I was so weak and sick, but knew I was gonna quit...Now, at day 31, I feel GREAT...I mean..friggin Tony the tiger great,..but am feeling the cravings....Its a life long battle....ugh...

Thank u again...

Lisa

[liscamdave]

lolol...you are too funny. I am not sure what made me get up and flush it...Believe me, I contempalted eating it as I sat there and gave its proper memorial before flushing...but something in me dropped it into the water...Maybe because knowing what I went through and seeing how I affected those around me and what I have done to my life...That is what stopped me, I think...who knows..

It was probably my husband, from heaven, making me do it....lol...

The point is, its gone, whether or not I am happy about that, its gone...lol..

xoxo, Lisa

[helpwanted1972]

i hope i have that kind of will power... i still have a while handful waiting on me. i havent flushed them yet. but perhaps you were the inspiration i needed to do so :). congrats on your 31 days and flushing the evil.

[RRivers]

Great will power, glad you made the right decision, you are well on the path you wanted to be on. Congratulations on Day 31.  Things always get better after we put willpower into our actions, so I believe you will see some good things coming your way, but most all you are beginning to realize how strong you are and can be.  

Never look back with fondness to what you fought to hard to escape.

as always,
best of luck and keep the faith
Ren
      

[liscamdave]

Thank you so very much for the advice..I too, hope that this is the beginning of a good future. I would have never thought myself capable of chucking that, but I did it, in one quick movement, and flushed...cause I knew if I held it, it would be in my belly...lol...

Well, thanks again...

Lisa

[Stephen823]

HEllo,

Wow! do you remember the pain and complete powerlessness you had when you were unable to control your withdrawel.

Get rid of it !

So happy that I am not alone in this terrible terrible addiction.
Steve

[fishmeal]

One pill wouldn't do anything but make you want more... YOU KNOW THAT!