Counselor, wants me to stop going on this forum? Why?

Today, I went to speak with my counselor who has recomended to me to stop going onto this forum & reading & replying to others who are detoxing off methadone or any other drug, as she feels it may set me up for failure, she claims that the horror stories Im reading about are mostly people who are jumping off to fast or simply may have other demons learking in their closets, Im partial to detoxing off at 4mgs & she claims that it is not a right choice, as I will be another sad statistic of the readers I hear about becoming so ill that they must go to a ER for help, while she may be correct on jumping off at 4mgs, I dont feel that she is correct about this site, as I told her that I get only positive responses from people on the forum. She wants me to join a group in which I can comunicate one on one, which I understand, but what I dont get is why she thinks this is a negative forum?

[cathy5841]

ummm penelope, no one here would ever intentionally steer you in the wrong direction.  we are here to support you and give advice on the things we have been through.  there are some horror stories here, but they are the reality of ppl who have done the drugs.  i think she is wrong, but, that is just my opinion.  i would not be 70+ days clean without this forum.  i think it is great lol
cathy

[oxyaddict420]

She has her reasons, and I am sure that she just wants the best for you.. It isn't like she has anything to gain from you not coming here.. I think the main thing is that she is a licensed counsler that has her ways of trying to do things, and by you coming on here sharing with everyone here about what she tells you, or suggests for you, maybe she feels that people will disagree with what she has to say, and who are they compared to her right? Sounds like a counslers thinking to me. Worried about how others are trying to help and with what methods?  She might feel that it is a negative thing to get to mnay opinions and it will just confuse you about who and what is right.. So I would just try it her way, or just dont tell her you are on here anymroe.. it is up to you!

[gizzy32]

what a joke. since i came on this forum, i have stayed clean. N/A didn;'t work, almost dying didn't work, but talking on here and reading the horror stories and being able to relate with almost everyone has been more than i could have imagined and it has kept me clean.

it that were me i would find a new counselor, but that is only me. has this forum helped you, or do you find it tough to read posts on here. i understand some may, but this place has been a blessing. i don't get why he would tell you not to come on here unless you said it was hard.

[skoochie]

hmm,  when you find out why let me know, for me this forum helped me not jump off at 30mg and that it is differn't for everyone.  The horror stories are bad but the good ones give you hope and the support is priceless....how much does a counsler cost, anyway I don't see the hurt

[gizzy32]

or maybe she feels like she will lose business cause this place may help you. just a thought.

[CGR76]

Im sure she means well. But I think a good mix of both is probubly a better idea. If you feel comfurtable with the things that are said on this site, then by all means, you are a grown up and can deciede for your self. As for the taper plan, well being monitored is usually better than just jumping off by yourself. So I would probubly go with what a dr. recommends.

Just my thoughts....

[confused456]

I think its a money thing......if we all have found help here, we may not need counseling.....just a thought!

[Sophie20]

I'm not surprised that she said that
First off, this is free and she's not....That is my off the cuff thinking, but I'm sure she has her good reasons.
Thing is, I've checked out this forum when it's midnight. There are times people need someone to talk to at midnight. Unless you have a tremendous support system of people to call that late, and I know I don't, I have read many things on here that has helped me not feel so alone.
Again, I'm sure she has her good reasons.
Good luck with your decision!

[Lotsatrout]

Or maybe.... just maybe, she has visited this forum and has seen first hand that we are smarter than her?  :)  I'm only kidding of course but I'll tell ya.... there's nothing like advice from someone who has been through the same thing as you.  That is where we aquire wisdom and wisdom is essential to leading a clean and sober life.  Proverbs makes that very clear.  :)

Trout

[Flutterby111]

I've said it before, I'll say it again, You are my NA....I'm so busy in my daily life, work, motherhood, and everything else, that it's easy to have acces to a computer, much easier than getting to a meeting on their schedule...bless you all....I think it's up to you Penelope....I think on one side of it, if you think it's emotionally draining to you to hear the horror stories, you might limit your time online here, or limit what you read---just a thought, but you know in your heart we're here for the right reasons....to stay or get clean and for support.  It's important to focus on #1 and that's you....but if this place is helping you...than wtf?  keep posting, because you know we love ya!  

[lostmarbles]

ditto to everyones post

[jafro]

Has she ever actually visited this board or any other ? I did visit another board once just to read and it seemed like folks were more interested in exchanging stories that glorified drugs and folks looking to get them. They were even posting their addresses. If she hasn't visited the board I don't know how she could evaluate it properly. I've seen nothing but positive, sensitive and heartfelt advice given here.

[Avalancheblanche]

The world wide web is so vast and there are people out there who do not have good intentions.  I am not talking about here, but, I  think your counselor is putting that out there for you to at least be careful.  You are an adult, and you know what a wonderful place this is.  You do what feels healthy for you.  

[jafro]

Oh - and rereading your post, I don't see a lot of 'sad statistics' either - sure, WD is hell - but the end results are positive (and that's what helps me - seeing folks in the same boat making it).

[dove3053]

Would this same counselor tell you not to go to an NA meeting. I can only speak for myself when I say this forum has helped me. If not for the great people here I would still be using.  

I agree with Gizzy--maybe she will lose business.

Dove

[mimi1313]

Only you can decide what is best for you. A counselor is for guidance, but it still comes down to what you want and what you think is best for you.

[dove3053]

I don't like the sound of that. This forum has helped me greatly. It's a money thing.

Dove

[GoingToMakeIt]

You have your own mind to think. Unless this makes you always think about doing drugs. This place can really help you stay off of them. Phooey to the counselor.

Now, I would agree about the methadone. The slower you taper the better!

[cathy5841]

you always say it the best...phooey on the counselor.  i like that.
cathy

[johnnykelly]

Penelope,you seem to be tapering from 4mgs forever!!! I remember 2-months ago the same story,you asking for taper information and receiving plenty and appearing to go nowwhere with-it.Why dont you stay on the methadone,if it keeps you straight.the bottom line is harm-reduction,not all people need to be opiate free,you seem okay on a lillle-dose,a dose that is relatively harmless.As for that therapist telling you that youll be sick coming -off 4mgs, I DONT THINK SO.Look inward instead of always on other peoples advice john

[toxictome]

MY counselor thinks this forum is a good thing for me...she recommended i journal...and she said there are many ways to do that...with this forum being one of them.

I think she may be referring to the safety of detoxing w/o supervision of a Dr....because I told my friend who is a dr. (and a fromer vic user) after i was 2 wks. clean..and she said this forum is a good thing...but i really should have been under a DR.'s care for safety...well...i made it, so....oh well...  :P

Keep posting.....phooey on her!!!  LOL

[Penelope14]

John Kelly, I,ve researched my journal & when I joined the forum it was December 2,2007, I was at 30mgs, I am currently on 8mgs & by early next week I shall be at 4mgs, so where you came up with the idea that I have been on 4mgs for the last few months puzzles me, but thats ok, as I do believe that many people misunderstand things when not speaking one on one, who knows maybe even I may have made a mistake in my typing? Trust me when I say, I want off this methadone & I will get off of it!! I see no future for myself on methadone or any other form of drugs. & Thanks everyone for the encouragement & feedback, as I am on your side when I say, this forum has helped me out big time! & I can always find someone to talk to anytime, day or night! & Over the next month Im not gonna have the counselor around, so you will all be hearing from me, as I will really need your support more then ever!   Penelope

[lostsoul2]

In my opinion it may be that she is afraid that if you continue reading others' stories it will be a constant reminder of your own.  We all need to move past our addictions and maybe she thinks this will make you think about yours more instead of moving past.  Just a thought.  Money is always a deciding factor in everthing as well.  You will just have to point blank ask her.

[cocobeanlisa]

I am new to this forum, but I have been off norocs for about a year..and I stumbled onto this forum when I was having a bad day..My pain Level was at a 8/9 and I wanted to pick up a norco JUST TO MAKE THE PAIN STOP.   but with my habit it would have been
20 or more norcos.  So this site/forum saved my butt....The support is great and the
suggestions are right on..

I hope to make new friends that share my experience and hope and understand what it's
like up againist the pills...

I think you have done a great job and that is a great amount to taper in a short amount of time.....you'll be drug free before you know it...........


cocobean lisa

[johnnykelly]

Penelope aside from the symantics,the bottom line is your at 4mgs,Thats nothing to get ancy about.I am more concerned with the staying-off part.penelope im on methadone and find in my case it detours me from the odd oxycontin or perk.I was only trying to have you look at things from another prospective.Remember all of us are on the same team.trying to get better.One thing i came to terms with,was my relationship with meth.Like you i was always tapering off,and then id re-lapse and back id go.Its easy to go-off opiates,but staying-off is the hard part. all the best john

[swtbreezie]

WoW, I'd find a new councellor!  I find this forum to have very REAL people with real problems just like me who can relate and has been through similar experiences.  I would NOT take all the gold in Fort Knox for all the wonderful friends I have found here, they are priceless to me.  I came here in the wee hours of the morning and doubt I would have lived had I not found my angels here.  WHERE will you find people to listen at that time of morning and hold on to you until you can get help?  NO WHERE, they will tell you to wait until the office opens and come in.  BS, you need someone immediately to listen and empathize if nothing else and NOT leave you alone.  Anyway, obviously the councellor is not a people person and has not been on drugs she is a book taught person to understand w/d and detox, that cannot replace the fact you have someone to talk to that has actually experienced this.  Anyway this is my two cents worth and I am a nurse by trade and been through all the clinicals for recovery, I didnt learn anything till I came here and read what people wih real problems feel and do.
swtbreezie

[NautyOne]

I totally understand what your counselor is saying. But, the choice is yours.  In many situations I think this forum has done wonders for people, but I know it has scared many off also, because of the horror stories.  This is he internet and people can say what they want.  I was so suprised to find out recently how many people out here were actually using Krantom.  I don't think people always tell the whole truth, so their accounts of withdrawal can be frightening.  When I hear people say I take 4 to 20 pills a day.....come on .....or 2-10....in other words.....these dramatic diffencenses in their daily intake is suspicious to me, and we really don't know what people are doing .....only what they tell us.....i knew what i took on a daily basis....give or take a couple, but no less.  My withdrawals were absolutely nothing compared to anyone's out here.......a few similarities, but we are different.  My point being.  We really don't know what any of us are really doing........This forum has given me so much insight into the world of addiction, but I think professional counseling would have been more beneficial to me in the long run ,but the forum gave me my start.  N/A I have heard a lot of bad things about it.  There are also P/A meetings. Which I hear are very good.  You can call you local hospital and ask if there are any in your area.  There aren't as many but It can't hurt to check or go to their website  just google pills anonymous and you might find info there.  Stay away from their message boards if you are not a 12 step---higher power person.

[sterling_silver]

Hey Penelope, I love this forum, and I am not offended by your counselor's comments.
Her not wanting you to jump off at 4mg makes perfect sense to me.
You are getting Professional help with your problem. I would not give that up.
The one on one groups are going to help you. It took you a long time to get where you are. It is going to take time to get better. You need to stop the methadone at the lowest possible dose. Stick with the counselor.......
As far as not reading this forum. Thats for you to decide.You have obviously said something about this forum that disturbed her. If it were all about the money, she would not be tapering you. You have to read this forum with an open mind. If I went to a drug counselor and told him I was 8  months clean from pills, and I read on this forum that people are getting clean from pills and still drinking,can I drink? What do you think he would say? There are proven methods that have worked to help people get and stay sober. You need to listen to those people. Your counselor is one of those people.
Best of luck

[flmagi]

I myself feel this forum is so much better than N/A. I feel I am totally honest about my addiction etc. here on the forum, where as I don't think I would be as comfortable talking like I do here, in an N/A meeting. I've only been to one so far...didn't care for it, but thats just me. I am still willing to try it again. Just don't think it can come close to the forum.
I'm prone to think your counselor is afraid she'll loose your business to the forum or she's afraid you'll get discouraged by some of the relapse stories.  You should do what you feel most comfortable doing....other than continueing useing..lol, of course.

[NautyOne]

That's the problem with this forum.  It's not about all the great friends you've made. You can't even look into the eyes of these people and even know if they are being truthful......THIS IS THE INTERNET  I think this counselor possibly checked out this forum or possibly aware of them.  they are not always in the best interest of everybody.  Last I thought.......it was about sobriety......not making friends.  The friends I make are the one's I can look in the eyes, as they are the windows of the soul.  Telling her to change counselors because of all the wonderful friends you made is really irresponsible.

Nauty...............

[allaboutmary]

The only thing I can say negative about this forum is.......sometimes we become too preoccupied with it, and put off getting back out in the world.  I found that one of the downfalls of my addiction is I became anti-social.  I hope someday that I don't get up everymorning and come on this forum and then as soon as I get home from work.
But for right now I'm just tapering off .  lol   I hope to spend more time with friends and get back to some hobbies.  I think I will always check back in here from time to time.  I never want to forget how this forum got me through and the wonderful people I met here. This forum is an addiction in itself. lol   You all are the greatest !

[NautyOne]

Amen!   Keyword:  Friend are in the Real World.  Not Cyberspace.

[marcatj]

i think she simply doesn't have all the facts..

you are doing just great from what i've read..

i believe she meant well, just really didn't have enough information to make that kind of statement.

it is just a narrowminded viewpoint - that's all.

stay the course, babe.  YOU know what's working. if it's here - stay! and if she is helping as well, take the good (as with here too) and leave behind what in your gut you know does not feel right.

you will be just fine...
:-)
mj

[newgirl2708]

I'm new here. I need anonymity. I work and have kids. I just started counseling and I couldn't do it without this forum. I have never met a group of people in which I can identify with or who have made me feel less a loser. Some I don't agree with, but for the most part, I do. I get an education from these people no counselor in the world would give me. I would be too self concious at a meeting. Too close for comfort to really open up. I think with counseling and this forum they make a good combination. I agree your counselor is a professional, however, you should pay attention to your gut. It will never steer you wrong. You know what you need best. Just like I do with these posts..take a little here take a little there, add a little of my own thinking and come up with something I can live with...
Good Luck. We're here for you.

[nuredshuz]

I know its hard for some to admit, but Nauty is right.  I lurk around here now and then and Im always kinda courious when I see on here how "good" and "great" friends people say they find here, this is cyber space!  How can you consider someone a great friend that you have never even seen, let alone, as Nauty said, looked into their eyes? This forum is helpful for soberiety and is fun to chat, but hopefully not the only source of social contact.  We all need "real" friends; people who truely know us and who we truely know.  Cyber relationships are a few dementions shy of real relationships.  This is not ment to offend anyone, just hopefully shed some light.   I really doubt a counsler is  concerned about loosing business to a cyber forum.  There are other reasons she suggested this.  I think you should ask her what they are.  She WILL tell you.  I've been to counseling before and you need to ask questions.  You sometimes need some explainations and obviously this is one of those times.  Your counslor isnt going to get irritated or upset if you ask her why she is recommending what she is recommending.  My advice is to ask her why she said what she said.  I bet she will be more than happy to tell  you why. Let us know what she said.

[Jacqui805]

I'm guessing several things here:  the medical professionals don't take to kindly to any sorts of alternative medicine (what this is) in the first place, but more than that, I think she may be concerned that you may become obsessed with all that is drugs.  She may be concerned that the "horror" stories  will freak you out and you'll run and go do drugs, she may be even concerned about bad information.  There can be bad information, but it's never meant to be, and someone usually corrects it.  I don't ever find anything to out of whack.  What your bone-head counselor doesn't get, and it's a huge part of her field not to get, is that you need support.  She may think everyone here's a co-dependent person, or addictive personality and whatnot, but I think her opinion is mostly consisting of ignorance and lack of empathy.  When someone has a death in the family, the grieving one finds the most solace and strength from someone who has already been there, done that.  They feel less alone, and find strength, etc.  I cannot even begin to tell you how many people find answers here, help here, support here, sobriety here, and friendship here.  It's invaluable.  You do need to find what works for you though.  I know that even horror stories can be helpful to someone else going through them, for that not being alone fact.  Even to the person about to go through it, they see someone who had a horror story and made it through.  There are tons of happy stories here, and they serve as inspiration, and strength.  There are non-judgemental shoulders to lean on here.  Just being here alone serves as a distraction, a reminder why not to use, information, etc.  People, at least most of us humans, tend to bond with people who've gone through the big deals in our own lives (either positive or negative).  Friendship ain't a bad thing, and this is free, and it's here 24/7.  Remember too, that a counselor's a person, you need to find the right match for you if at all possible.  You'd probably not be getting your hair cut by someone who was your total antithesis.  Same here.  Trust your gut.  It'll tell you what to do.  

Jacqui    - Good luck.

[flmagi]

Jacqui.  Good post

[girlybuff]

When you go to AA or NA you have no choice but to sit there and listen and be present.  That's the beauty of it.  For the first time in many of our lives we are forced to be in the moment, to listen, to share in person.  It's a lot harder to lie in front of a room full of people who are in the same boat as you when you can clearly see their emotions on their faces and hear the anguish in their voices.  
It's a program of attraction.  There is no better feeling then sitting in a room hearing your story being told by someone else whilst looking into their eyes and seeing the honesty radiate from them.  You realize in that split second that you're not special, not unique and that if this person can get through it, then so can you.  The pure ugly unabashed honesty that you cannot and will never get from your chair in front of a screen is priceless and I pity those who feel it's "not for them".  If you wish to remain clean and live a sober life rather than just a life filled with abstinence, then how can that pure honesty NOT be for you?
I'm not saying that this forum doesn't have its plus sides BUT if you are truly serious about getting honest with yourself, another human being and God, go IN PERSON to a meeting where people get to know you, the REAL you and can see just by looking at you or hearing your voice that something is wrong or off.  It's quite easy to be anyone you want on the internet.  Now, there are many people who are painfully honest on here but there are many people who are full of **** because they are inconstitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves nevermind someone else.
Anyone who has gone to 1 NA meeting and has therefore decided that it wasn't for them is being close minded and in my opinion is not ready to be 100% forthright and upfront with who they were and who they are and who they are becoming.

[Marce4]

AMEN!!! Great post!  
Peace!

[girlybuff]

Great to see you.......
:)

[swtbreezie]

I understand where you are coming from.  YES I know this is cyberspace.  BUT you know I have been on cyber space for the last 14 years and met many people from here in real life.  I run a site on here no not putting in the url.  BUT we became friends on here and that friendship only grew when we met in real life.  You get to know the inner person on here first then you get to know them in person.  I have met people from all over the world.  You tend to tell people on here what is really in your heart, because you think chances are you will never see this person, things you can't tell someone in real life, this creates a bond for when you DO meet them in person.  My Fiancee is one of them we were frineds from my site before we met in person, and we knew all about each other from the inside out, the outside appearence really doesnt matter when you know they have a kind heart and are loving people, I don't know about you but I read people well and have never been dissapointed when I did meet the friends I have met here, not on the forum, I have yet to meet anyone from here, BUT I'm looking forward to it because I'd like to give them a HUGE hug for being here when I needed them most.
swtbreezie.

[swtbreezie]

and YES I know not everyone is truthful on here.  As I said I read people well after 14 years and so I would NOT meet even in a public place.  I'm a caring loving person NOT a stupid one.

[10356]

not everyone has friends outside of cyber space in my life I have isolated myself far and away, Addiction is a lonely life style, if not for stumbling on you guys this site I would be sitting alone with my thoughts, although my family knows about my situation I have not shared openly with them as I have you guys for fear of hurting them, or them not understanding and taking it wrong, na aa god is not for everyone although it has its place for many, limbo

[addictedme]

Thnx for the post, I see people say all the time (someone in a post said it yesterday) that they tried na and it didnt work. N A is a very simple program that gives clear suggestions on what may work,90 mtings in 90 days,a sponser,useing a phone list and of course the steps but someone will go to 1 meeting,feel uncomfortable and say its not for them. Thats like going to a dr,,the dr tells you 5 things to do to get well,,you do 2 of them,,dont get well then call the dr a quack.I think the forum is great for people trying to quit or going thru wds but theres very little recovery spoken here. I"ve been in the program about 8 yrs and go to meetings several times a week and see many,many people at meetings that were there when I got there 8 yrs ago. I really dont think ANYONE on this forum today including all the great friends will still be here in a year much less 5,10 or more. Bottom line though,,anythings better then nothing

[catmagnet]

I personally never had any real results with counselors or psychiatrists, it's too hard for me to talk to someone I don't know face-to-face. I would suggest you do whatever makes YOU feel better and not worry about what your doc thinks. Maybe they're afraid of losing you as a client and won't get $$$ from you anymore.

[spacecadette]

sounds like eveyone on here is trying to give you a reason....i think it would be wise to ask your counselor yourself...I"m sure she'd be more than willing to venture a reason, and i'm sure she has nothing against this forum....good luck to you

[Flutterby111]

Wow, This is quite the controversial topic isn't it?!?!  I like all of the opinions on it!  

[Jacqui805]

I really think the key here is to do what works for you.  Everybody works differently, but I don't see how getting support here can hurt anyone.  I can speak only for myself when I say that I'm as real as real can be, couldn't be any other way.  You may ask, "How the he** am I supposed to know what works for me when I'm so f'd up?"  I have said this before, and I'll say it again, I think we all do know most of the answers to our own tough questions and dilemmas.  We don't always like what we "know" to be true or right, sometimes we don't have the courage to listen, sometimes chose not to listen, but our guts are usually right on the money.

I am so thankful for this site and the many opinions and bits of help and wisdom I have received here.  I would not be so fortunate without it, and might not even be "around" without having found this place.

Jacqui

[toxictome]

I hear you both...and totally agree..i've been in the program 17 yrs..and w/o it i would be DEAD!!!! I also agree...people need to shop around..if one mtg. doesn't work...try another...I've been to alot  of mtgs. in many different cities...and every single one of them has a little different flavor...but they ALL live the simple program.......
Take what you need...and leave the rest!  Thanks!!

[Jacqui805]

Absolutely, amen.  People often think when they go see a counselor that counselors don't work for 'em, not having considered the fact that it may have been THE counselor, or their counseling STYLE.  We all are different and we're not all gonna be diggin' on the same kinda cake, if you get me.

Jacqui

[addictedme]

I agree with flutter and respect everyones opinion about a person needing support and suggestions,,Theres a saying that goes " MY best thinking got me here",,people need people,,

[Flutterby111]

I agree....I used to go to meetings and I shopped around for the right one...It took me weeks of going right on down the list until I found one I was comfortable with and fell in love with....but ...sobriety is the goal!  

[gizzy32]

this turned into a great post and everyone that responded is right. although we need real friends, i don't think there is nothing wrong with having a few close friends on here. in fact i have talked to a couple on the phone and plan on meeting one. i support n/a 100% and it is a wonderful program and it helped me for sure. but for me i relapsed while i was going. ya see, i found out that half the people there were there under court order so they were forced to attend and then as i got to know some people i learned quick they were still using and some were going to score drugs the second that meeting was done. i found that tough to know about and although 90% of people in my group were trying to get clean, there we a few that had no desire. i relapsed and found this forum and since then i am clean the longest in quite some time. this forum is here 24 hours and although there are a few negatives in here, it's just like anywhere else, but for the most part this place is amazing. just like anywhere you go, there is always someone that likes to bring people down because they are unhappy with themselves and i feel sorry for them. once again i fully support N/A and tell everyone wanting to get clean that is the best way to start, but it is not for everyone and that is why some feel comfortable here.

[Jacqui805]

I was reading and re-reading some stuff on here and had to post this.  I may not make a friend to say this, but I'm saying it nonetheless.  It is my true, honest, opinion.  As a nurse, we are trained not to judge people.  Judging comes in all forms.  It can be not necessarily trusting someone when they say they have pain for example.  We are trained, and given rationale that is not appropriate or helpful in any way to anyone.  If someone here tells us they're on whatever, we've got to give them the benefit of the doubt.  I have no idea if someone's bulls****ing me, but it's not my place to figure this out.  All I can do is help when I can.  If I really think someone's not being upfront, I always have the option to not respond.  We can't even judge someone based on what we'd do or what we've experienced and then compare, because we all can be so different.  While this is not the social forum, we are humans, and therefore, very social.  We deal with grief, death, tragedy, ups, downs, joys, thrills, celebrations, all with people.  We all go through this journey down different paths, many different ways, but we all want to meet up with someone who can share in our experiences.  We all want to know we're "normal" and not alone in life or in our situations.  A lot of folks think there's no one left that's good in the world, or that they're few and far between.  Not so.  I can recount inumerable tales of kindness that not only I have witnessed, but have had personal experience with.  It is entirely possible to "meet" someone here and develop a friendship with them.  It all depends on who you are.  I have met some folks here, that I wold definitely consider friends, and plan to meet some and have spoken on the phone with two.  What time frame is it supposed to take in order to friendship to "really" happen?  What locale is this "suposed" to take place in?  I think there is more honesty here since they don't have to look into someone's eyes, and that part can come later.  People here are pouring out their hearts here, and as for those who may have been "scared off"...they weren't ready to be here.  There are some ugly truths to addiction, dependency, etc., and sugar coating it isn't gonna help anyone.  In fact, it helped me more to read some of the "horror" stories because I knew my own deal wasn't so freakishly bizzare, and had I not been to the stage to quit, I would have because I read how badly things were for some folks who were on stuff longer.  I'm really not trying to ream anyone out here, really...I'm just trying to put my point of view up here.  I don't have all the answers, but I do have an opinion, and I felt it needed to be voiced.  

[NautyOne]

My personal opinion regarding your comment to me.  If this is what you told your counselor I would have suggested the same thing.  What you said really kinda scared me.  Please don't take what I am saying the wrong way, but being in the internet meeting greeting for 14 years.  You post sounded very naive to me.  Regardless, the choice is yours, and I agree with the other poster that .......ask her why she does not want you out here.......we can only speculate at this point unless we know what her reasons are.

Nauty...........

[jim811]

Hi Everyone...one thing that I didn't see discussed was the choice for anonymity.  As a young professional, I'm working hard on the career, well most days, and if an issue about meds came out, the disclosure could be damaging.  I'm not shy about recovering in the least bit but counseling, NA mtgs, etc are not an option for me at this point. Why...information has a way of coming out....background checks can be very detailed; this is only my opinion...to each his own.  

I think I'm at 37 or 38 days and feel really good....this forum, the people, the feedback and just being able to share the experiences has been vey theraputic (med term :-)). I agree with other posters, most people are honest...I mean why would anyone lie in a forum where noone knows you...

I can honestly say drugs are not an issue; oh.I know I can't take any but I definitlty don't have any cravings...now those cigs...day 12 on those and those cravings are driving me crazy...had a few beers with friends last night and so wanted one, two, three LOL...i stayed on target...

Please Keep Posting....I always apperciate the exchanges here...

Nick

[swtbreezie]

That was NOT my councellor, I don't have one, you musthave read someone else about councellor not wanting them to come here..  My NA is here on the forum, and with my wonder Fiancee who supports me unconditionally and God of course..  I may sound niave BUT I read people well, you cannot be in tech support that long without being able to know BS when you see it.  Yes I reply but there are some I would NOT meet in church.  I said I am not a stupid person, I am very educated, an a nurse along with that.  I am a very easy person to get along with until my toes are stepped on, and you can't know how niave I am unless you know me in person.  I just am a people person, and the post was just my opinion, of counellors, you can't call in the middle of the night when things are tough, but you can find a friend to share with here.  I don't know where you got that I had a councellor but I never had one.  I went for bereavement councelling a month after I lost hubby and babygirl.  AND you know what they said, it was just after hurricane rita.  "I'm sorry but you do not qualify for assistance, you have NOT been bereaved long enough"  HOW LONG is long enough to be bereaved after you lose 2 loved ones in immediate family and go through devastation of hurricane and losing your home all in a few short months?  NIAVE NO I am not niave.  HA  needless to say I begain looking for support other places, it was a money thing 2 deaths in a month and a half and I was about crazy, and I didnt qualify.  hummmmmmmm  I do not have much faith in paid councellors.  I didnt have mega bucks to pay him, so convieniently I did not qualify.  I looked at him and said well I thought you would say that, BUT if I jumped from a bridge tomorrow bwcause I cannot cope you would say I wish I had helped that lady, I turned and said I am NOT going to give you the satifaction, and walked out and preceeded to go get my baby girl burried 2 months after she passes, I feel that's a pretty strong person to do this all on my own, certainly NOT niave.  SO unless you know just what makes me tick, I am NOT as niave as I sound, easy going yes, make friends easily yes, BUT can hold my own with the toughest ones, and toughest situations.

Thanks Gizzy for your support and views on the friend thing.  hugz
swtbreezie

[swtbreezie]

All I did was give my views on the councelling thing as everyone else did, I didnt expect to be singled out and beat up for my view like everyone else had a view, I never told them to do it, I said what "I" would do!  The have a mind of their own to go or not to go, and I support them in any decision they make I just don;t have to go to councelling, and if I did it would be grief councelling, I have my NA here and with my wonderful guy, BUT obviously I struck a nerve with you.  I have no problems with you and I feel this thread of singling me out as others feel the friendships and love also is a done deal now!  Don't let the name fool you I am probably older and wiser than most, I can also be toughlovebreezie  BUT I choose to be,
swtbreezie

[Jacqui805]

I was just about to logoff and saw your posts here.  I thought I was gonna get reamed for what I wrote, especially my last post prior to this one on this thread.  I've got your back babe, and I'm sorry for all that's happened to you.  It's important that we all voice our opinions when we need to, and you've got to feel safe and unthreatened to do so.  I'm fairly naive about some stuff myself, but I also believe that most people are good, and honest people.  Like you, and can be like candy, but I can also be a formidable foe when I need to be, so, if we need to go into battle, we're unstoppable.  

[Flutterby111]

I've always wanted to say how sorry I am for all you've had to deal with.....I dont' think we've ever really crossed threads, but I just can't bear the thought....you're so tough for handling what you have....TO rise above the demons of this and find love again......and to try to heal and continue on!   a big ole hug to you!!!!

[swtbreezie]

awwwww thanks guys.  You got me in tears.  I love you to pieces.  I may be niave in somethings but I can spot a BSer in a heart beat, and you guys just made my day!  I don't understand why some seem to single out one person but it happens.  AND yes I still stick to my guns about making friends.  I look at it this way, "a stranger is only a friend I have NOT met yet"  and you can't have too many friends. Negativity has no place in here nor does singling out one person in particularly to make them feel bad, I have been to hell and back and NOTHING can bring me down certainly not a person who is oviously stuck in their own world and doesnt have an open mind to others. You two are "FRIENDS" who have been here from day one to support and recieve support, with me I appreciate you so very much I could not have done it with out you guys,and we all are worthy of both. Dove, Gizzy,Blance, r2r all the peole who have been so kind to me
I love ya
hugz (((((((((((MyAngels))))))))))))
swtbreezie

[swtbreezie]

You need to read the first post again, before singling one person out.  NO ONE said they did not want ME out here it was "penelope's" councellor not wanting penelope on the forum.  I don't have a clue why you chose to beat me up but you need to address the correct person.  I personally feel something is wrong when you begin picking on one person, BUT be sure you have the facts and of course the right person to reply too.My reading skills have yet to suffer from the w/d.  I have NEVER singled people out I think it is rude and crude to do it, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.  NOW, I am not leaving the forum, I have too many FRIENDS here I have made in a short time.  If you do not wish to comment on my posts by all means ignor them, they are not directed at you or anyone else to hurt.  I have lots of compassion and empathy and love and caring to give, no I'm not an expert by any means but I don't claim to be.  All I can do is offer support, and compassion, which is what I do.  I have been through more than you will ever go through in your lifetime and am probably a lot older and wiser for it than you think.  When you losea child which is the ultimate blow in life come talk to me, until then you would not understand.
no so niave breezie

[MikeWithFamily]

Hi Penelope, My name is Mike.
I read your post and tried to read all 64 responses, but honestly only got through 9 or 10 because they all said the same thing. Aside from one post relating to asking if anyone wnats to try and set up a meet and greet location which got over 100 replies; this post has received the most replies; and I think nearly every single one of them says the same thing....this site has been great for them, and has enabled them/convinced them/motivated them. etc... to get the treatment they deserve and routinely visit to share their progress. I think (overwhelmingly) that we all have the best intentions in mind. Your couneselor has her reasons...perhaps you should take time to ask and fully understand her motives. I would suggest that you print this entire log off and take it into your counselor to review. Perhaps she will see for herself that we self-assisting and reachable at times when she or anyone else may not be reachable....whether its 6am or 2am..someone is always on this site.
For me, God has been my strength, but this site sure did motivate me in the beginning to seek help. I do not believe I would have had the same desire going into my detox as what I did had it not been for this site. I am almost a month clean now and the Suboxone is working great for me. God has truly blessed myself and its carried over into my family and friends. Life is so freakin good now. Clean; clear minded; calmer; more energy; sleeping is fantastic!!!!!!!; friendlier; richer...lol; every facet of my life is so much better...and it all started with this site, which I believe God led me to in order to get started...truth, that is how I feel. Anyway, I wish you and everyone here the best of luck. Stay sober, trust in God and family will LOVE you!
Mikewithfamily

[Jeanne181]

You are weaning off methadone? I did that last summer, it was not very fun, but if you wean off slow enough it's not that bad. Good Luck!

[NautyOne]

Yeah, you did strike a nerve with me.  I'm not saying its not impossible to meet or even have cyber friends.  The internet is loaded with good people, and loaded with Freaks! Pedophiles and predators of all kind, and if you for one minute think you can judge someones intentions or character by the font they use.........thats naive in my opinion.  Thats the kind of mentality that gets young children abused, abducted and dragged into human trafficking...... and I can go on, but I think you get the point. I know what I am talking about, because I work with this issue as a volunteer and feel strong enough that I can make theses statements by FACTS!  There are just as many of us that think we are a good judge of character that get scammed, raped, or married to someone you find on America's Most Wanted !!  I believe that I am a good judge of good character.......I know I am , but using the internet is dangerous......I don't care what you say.  It's a whole different world out here.  Maybe you have just been lucky so far.

Whenever you are dealing with the internet ........It Can BE Dangerous!  I will change my wording if it makes you feel better.  I will call you misinformed if that makes you feel better.  I can provide you with FACTS that may change your mind or may not.  I am speaking from my personal experience.....you can't argue with that

No disrespect.

Nauty.....................

[NautyOne]

I am also everything that you describe of yourself.  I had the same attitude.  We are so much alike you wouldn't know.  Thinking what a great judge of character I was......and thinking I was taking all precautions, I consider myself educated, and with all the knowledge regarding the internet.........I still became a victim. !!   I hope and wish that this will never happen to you.  But, your still playing with Russian Roulette.  I wish I could say more, but it would be too heavy for this forum and not really appropriate.  

nauty.........

[feohmoon]

I did not respond earlier because I did not have a positive answer for you...I only had a negative answer...and I do not like to be that way.  But...health care professionals would prefer us all to stay in the dark rather than find support here...how much money would all of us have spent at this point on the same therapy we get here...getting it through the medical field?  There are some people who still care but it is unfortunate that they seem few and far between.  I could go on and on which is why I elected not to post before - I get too lengthy sometimes!!!  Yes, I know.
How are things going with your taper now?  Do you have a problem with memory loss associated with methadone?  I might post that......

[avisg]

yes it can be very dangerous .......... I had not even thought of many of the things you just brought up ,and i think of myself as educated and street smart as well ,but you are right
you have to be soooooo careful,for your protection and the protection of our families

[feohmoon]

One thing that is awesome with the internet - which I have never before been a huge fan of aside from research...the nonprejudice love and support shown here.  That, to me, is the best thing the internet has going for it...you cannot be prejudice because you don't know enough to...I wish it were like that always..everywhere.

[swtbreezie]

Well you have your opinion I have mine.  Like I said I am NOT stupid.  When I meet folks from the net I use good judgement, never meet them alone, and in a very public place. You think you have cornered the market on the bad stuff on here NOT!  And maybe you did have a bad experience, BUT others have had wonderful experiences and made lifelong friends.  I met the most wonderful person in my life YES on the net, we became friends first.  I also know about all the Pedophiles and predators and all the gory stuff on the net like I said I am NOT stupid as you seem to like to make me out as.  I do however have an open mind, and get to know people before meeting them by phone, mail and any other way I can before meeting them friends of friends etc.  If you have a closed mind to the wonderful world of the net then that is what you will meet other close minded people.  Maybe you had a bad experience because you didn't take the proper precutions before meeting whom ever you met.  Sorry to hit a nerve but you have to use good judgement when meeting anyone, that goes for real life and dating and so forth you don't really know that person's past and he/she may live next door to you.  I am done with this now, YOU do NOT run my life and therefore I will thank you to mind your own life instead of mine, and find someone else you'd like to beatup on the net lolol because I dont take kindly to being singled out and have gone up against better adversaries than you in my years of tech support..    And NO I will NOT become another statistic you can take that to the bank!  GOODBYE Nauty, I think this thread is getting very OLD, and I feel you should mind your bussiness instead of MINE!.  
color me not arguing with you any longer  if you don't like me you do not need to respond to my posts BUT I am NOT leaving like others have that has had run in's with you.
SWTBREEZIE

[NautyOne]

I totally agree.  This thread should end here.  

1  I never called you stupid
2  book smarts and street smarts are two entire issues
3  I never said that there were not good people out here
4  Don't accuse me of saying something I did not say
5  We agree to disagree, and that's ok.

6 THE END.

[newmanagment]

Is this forum making you want to use? Is this site a trigger in any way? Im not trying to judge your drug counselor , but I agree with Giz, maybe she doesnt want to lose the patients money. for a few years  I sold cocaine to support my own habit, and one of my best customers would come over and we would smoke coke all night. When the sun come up she would get her bag, take a shower, grab a hundred and I would run her to work.The hundred got her thru the day, and she would have me pick her up and back to my house. This would go for 3 days , usually 2 or 3 times a month.Her job--COURT APPOINTED DRUG COUNSELOR. So I think you just need to feel whats right for you, and go with it. She can counsel, but i checked and your an adult so do what keeps you clean.