Crack Addiction

I am engaged to someone i thought was a wonderful man and father...About 3 months ago he came to me and told me that he was addicted to crack and that he needed help...We tried to get him into rehab, but there were no beds available...He then went out of state to visit his family and is not coming home until he feels he is ready...My family is saying that if i stay with him, they are going to disown me and take my kids away from me...I love this man and he is trying to get better...I don't feel that i should turn my back on him now...The first step is admitting you have a problem and he did...What do you think i should do???

[feelinglostandhelpless]

I truely believe that your family should be supporting you in this decision. If you do not have him around the kids when he is cracked out and there are no drugs in the house I don't think that anyone can take your kids away from you, check into though cuz some laws are kind of tricky when it comes to kids being involved. If you love this man and you know he could change...then stand by him. My aunt tells me all the time that those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Live your life the way YOU want to live it and who cares what other people think. I am going threw some stuff with my boyfriend right now too but we don't have kids. He is addicted to pain killers and has taken bill money to go buy pills. He has been detoxing for the past 6 days. He got so sick that I had to take him to the hospital and what do you think they gave him for the pain, of course pain killers. They gave him 30 pills and they were all gone within 24 hours, the good thing is that he is still doing okay with out them and is still going threw detox. It is very hard to watch someone you love go threw what your man is going threw right now, but if he WANTS to change then he is going to need you.

[dominosarah]

Your family can disown you if that is what they choose to do but they cant take away your kids cuz of an addiction by one parent.  As long as you are clean and the babies are being taken care of dont worry about that.  Is your fiance in a treatment facility now or just staying with his family?  Is it a healthy family?  Educate yourself on addiction, check out Alanon also as addiction does affect all family members.  Only you will know if you want to stand by him.  His actions will speak louder than words.  Hopefully he is getting the help that he needs.  Keep us posted on how you both are doing       sara

[imrprod]

Go to alanon which is a support group for people with addicts for partners..it really helps.  Be careful to take care of yourself and your children and make sure you don't get sucked into his addiction issues.  He needs to get help and continue to get help to stay sober.  Crack is a bit** and not easy to kick.  He may need rehab or outpatient care.  You need to be very careful and don't do anything until you feel very sure he is clean and planning to try and stay that way.

[gizzy32]

Did he tell you how long he has been using? I agree with the others, alanon could benefit you to go. Crack is a monster to kick and usually takes some help to do so. I agree, admitting he has a problem is a big step, but the 2nd and most important I think is asking for help which you said he also did. That is what he needs, help. What does he mean he's not coming home till he's ready? Is he doing anything about this out of state with his family?

I was around crack a lot during my cocaine use and smoked it only a couple times, whew. The mental part is something most will never comprehend, it's so powerful and I watched friends chose it over everything, including their kids. I hope he gets the help he needs and sorry your going through this also, addiction is a family disease too:( Good luck to both of you