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Crack husband smokes in preggers presence

I am 4 months pregnant and my husband smokes crack cocaine in the apartment.  I need to know if this will affect my baby at all.  He smokes while I am home and I've talked to him about my concerns that it could affect the baby even if I am NOT the one smoking.  So my question is:  Can his smoking in the apartment lead to problems with the fetus, its development and motorskills while in the womb andonce born will the baby have signs of a "crack baby"?  We argue about this.  He claims he's going to stop at the end of this year.  My due date is May 25th.  Desperate for him to stop sooner.  
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Avatar universal
You can vent girl,thats good.I want you to KNOW that you are NOT stupid.Commming here for help was a very smart thing to do.

Your in my prayers
Jenn
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Jenn,

I am finding this out..that he only cares about himself.  The true colors shine through each and every day that passes.  I've voiced my concerns about the health of the baby and i'm a mother now.  This is how sick the man is:  He called me stupid for believing that the second hand crack smoke could potentially harm the fetus!  I explained I'm looking out for health and welfare of our unborn child.  He wouldn't hear it.  Continued to call me stupid and say, "Oh, so you're a doctor now."  At this point I can't stand the sight of this person whom I call my husband.  I honestly think he's clueless to everything...even me.  I have a feeling he thinks i'm going to stick around and take all the abuse he's throwing my way.....WRONG!  It might be tough for me getting out with all the legal stuff and debt, of course, all in my name.  Imagine him having bad credit??? Guess it goes with beingan irresponsbile overgrown baby who find joy in smoking his brains to oblivion.  I needed to vent.
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Avatar universal
I know it is easier said than done....been there and done that sweetie.
Crack addicts only care for them selfs.Maybe not right now,but there will come a point that he will do ANYTHING and hurt ANYONE to feed his habit/beast.Do you want to be around when that happends?Better question,do you want that baby around when that happends?Of course not...

Im still here for ya and you are in my thoughts and prayers
Jenn
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
He is the father of my unborn child.  I definitely don't want him raising my child with me if he can't clean himself up.  There are so many legal issues involved.  I need to consult a lawyer.  I don't want to get stuck living within a certain mileage of him IF i leave him AFTER the baby is born.  I believe if I leave him BEFORE the baby's born he has no legal right to keep me within a certain mileage of him.  
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Avatar universal
Thanks Jenn!  
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Avatar universal
I am here too preggers.Please PM me too if you need too.

Good luck and you are in my prayers
Jenn
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Avatar universal
Thanks Avis.  I appreciate the offer.  I may take you up on that!
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199177 tn?1490498534
hun dont beat yourself up over that you are about to have one of lifes best gifts a child ..... From what i have seen when it comes to crack yes addicts normally really have to hit rock bottom. If you are stay with him i dont think he will stop. Thats why i think you should just look after you and the baby if he desides to get help then you can make the decision as to whether you would like to work it out with him .....Unforunatly this may be a life long issue for him and you have to decided if you can live with that . I am here if you ever need to talk just click on my name in blue and you can PM me .
Avis
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Avis,

That's what I've been told...he needs to hit rock bottom and lose everything before he can start to recover.  It's so sad that someone can have everything and not have a problem jeopardizing all of it over drugs.  This is new to me.  I never even saw the stuff until I started dating him.  My number 1 mistake.  
Helpful - 0
199177 tn?1490498534
You are right it is not just you any more it is you and a brand new life. PLZ keep the both of you out of harms way care for yourslef and your baby . He may have to lose everything before he helps himself it is hitting rock bottom....You cant fix him or make him get clean ,but you can go on with your life and let him know you and your baby will be there when he gets better.
avis
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
At this point all I want is a happy healthy child.  Although, I think we're having a boy.  I'll know more in a few weeks when I have my amnio.  I'm one of the over 35 first time moms.  ;-)

I really want to support him, but at the cost of my child? (that was a rhetorical question.)  ;-) THAT doesn't make sense to me.  
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Avatar universal
I am glad to see you are serious.....Im sorry I got your post confused...I thought you had another child.Congrats on your first baby!!!Kids are amazing and also alot of fun.But the saying is true,to whom much is given,much is reqiured.Your life from here on out has to be about that baby!!!You now come second.I know it ay be hard to leave him if he doesnt quit,but think about whats best for the baby...nOt whats easy for you.You are worth more than to live that way too!

Are you hoping for a son or a daughter?
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Avatar universal
I'm having my first child.  I don't have any children.
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Avatar universal
You're absolutely right I am fighting for two.  I am a mother NOW not when i give birth.  It's becoming all too real and I do have to make a move.  Thank God for wonderful friends who have offered me a place to stay.  Yes, i've confided in some of them-this isn't something i can go through without some type of support system.  You don't even know how many conversations i've had with him/hubby about this.  Granted i don't want him doing it but I need to tell him every time he does it i'm leaving to stay overnight with friends.  I can't risk it.  I decided last week to give it thru year end since he claims he's going to quit cold turkey and then make my move-leave him until he cleans himself up-if he can clean himself up, and if he can 't then divorce.  But it seems i need to do something sooner.
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Avatar universal
ok I guess Im too into this topic because I have seen what drugs do to unborn babies.My sister did coke while pregnant.I dont know how much or for how long.She said she stopped at 7 months but who knows? I do know that I watched my nephew lay there in the neonatel ICU for 2 weeks withdrawling.To me she may as well have been shoving the coke up baby James nose.He is 2 today and still has a problem with light and loud noises.They ended up taking her other son away from her and I got custoday of both kids.
This is effecting you,your unborn baby and your poor child that is already in this.
Please do somthing,I am begging you.Dont let this go on in the house that your son calls home.
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
Take good care of your baby! AT ALL COSTS! I know there is a ton of literature on the ill affects of second hand smoke. It would only stand to reason that second hand CRACK smoke is bad for you and your precious baby inside of you.
Good luck with the new one! Stand strong and don't back down. Remember, You are fighting for two here.
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Avatar universal
your welcome i googled it, but seroiusly get you and your baby and your kid away from that smoke, let him know that his habit is not only effecting him but you all
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Avatar universal
Thanks BlotOutTheSun
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Avatar universal
Clinical features:
Respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) is the most common cause of bronchiolitis and pneumonia among infants and children under 1 year of age. Illness begins most frequently with fever, runny nose, cough, and sometimes wheezing. During their first RSV infection, between 25% and 40% of infants and young children have signs or symptoms of bronchiolitis or pneumonia, and 0.5% to 2% require hospitalization. Most children recover from illness in 8 to 15 days. The majority of children hospitalized for RSV infection are under 6 months of age. RSV also causes repeated infections throughout life, usually associated with moderate-to-severe cold-like symptoms; however, severe lower respiratory tract disease may occur at any age, especially among the elderly or among those with compromised cardiac, pulmonary, or immune systems.
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Avatar universal
What is RSV?
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Avatar universal
Sweetie im sorry but are you crazy???I know this is hard for you but you need to lay down the law.Tell him he has to get out when he does this.Your health,or the health of that unborn baby isnt worth risking.What if,heaven forbid,somthing did happen to that baby?Could you forgive yourself?Ofcourse not.The one thing that I hope you get from this post is that now you are the voice for this helpless child that has no say.You need to be a mama bear and protect he or she with everything!!!
I know its really hard on you.Im so,so sorry!If he is not serious about quiting then you need to think about the future of this relationship.
What if he does not quit.
Kids learn what they see.They learn by example.If you have a boy you dont want him to think that its ok to smoke crack.If you have a girl you dont want her to think she needs to marry a man like your hubby.
Im sorry if this did sound harsh,but you are carrying a life.You are the only person that is going to stand up for your baby.
I know that your husband will most likely make a great father when he is off of drugs.Untill then he is not himself.You have to stick to your guns on this one sweetie.

Congrats on the baby!!!
Best of luck to you
Jenn
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I cant answer  about the physical effects of smoking while your pregnent but the physcological effect of being raised by active addicts is well known. He claims hes going to stop at the end of the year,,does he understand that the child is here now. Recovery should start today not at the end of the year.Quiting crack may be the most important preperation you 2 can make in anticipation of your newborn. Would you accept that he"ll get a job or quit commiting adultry (not saying he does) AFTER the baby is born.Maybe you should fill your house with litature on addiction,ways of recovery and a 12 step meeting schedule,,,congrats on your baby and good luck with your husband
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your comments.  I truly appreciate them.  I honestly beleive it will affect the baby somehow.  I need to convince him of that.  And just the fact that he NEEDS convincing infuriates me!  I'm going to tell my OB/GYN about his smoking at my next visit.  I'm scared and it seems there's no reasoning with him on this matter.  It's as if i'm dealing with a 2 yr old child.  One night I left and stayed with a friend.  The following day stayed home from work, met up with friends and didn't come home until 6:30 in the morning.  It's always "tit for tat" with him.  ARGHHHH!  Thanks for listening.  I have so much pent up inside.  I'll never be able to live with myself if something is wrong with my child and I can honestly say  I'll NEVER forgive him.  
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Avatar universal
My husband also smoked crack around me while i was pregnant with my first child. I dont know if it directly hurt him but my son was hospitalized twice before he was six months old with rsv. And he has sever allergies and asthma. Also he is a very sesitive chid. He get upset easily. Doesnt like loud noises. It took about a year after my first son was born for my husband to quit the crack. He would have acasonal slip ups along the way. I finally told him quit or get out. ME and my children deserved more than that. But unfortunatly he went from one extreme to the other. It went from quiting crack to eating 20-30 loratbs a day. I guess you just have to either find the strenght to hand in there and help him if he wants to quit. Or find the strength to leave him. If this helps it was easier for him to quit crack than it was opiates. But most and formost take care of your baby.
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