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Crack

My husband uses crack. He also drinks frequently and smokes marijuana (daily). He has been using crack for about two years. He has admitted he has a problem. But he soesn't stop using. He's gone for a month and then went back. We seperated over his addiction(s) and he seemed to be getting better after getting much worse. So we are back together now since Spetember and he was using about once a month. Now it's every time he has the money to do it.

He says he wants to quit and that he has no controlover himself. I thought that admitting you have a problemis the first step to recovery? He doesn't do anything to help himself stop. His latest idea as to how he is going to quit is he's not going to work. So if he has no money then he has no access to the drug. Can this approach work, if he is sincere in his desire to stop? Or is it a way of manipulating me so he can continue but also keep his family?

And once they stop, like for years, I understand they may still get the cravings for it. So does it ever end? Can someone really get off of it forever?
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495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
You need to take care of you and your son right now.  That is not a safe environment for either one of you to be in.  Have you contacted your local Alanon?  They will be able to help you also.

If you could, go to the top of the page and there is a green box that says Post a Question, hit that and copy and paste your post you made.  That way others will see it and will respond as this is an old thread......sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
My husband and I have been married a little over three years.  We have a little boy.  Up till 2 months ago, we have had a fairly decent marriage.  Other than my husband’s occasion temper getting out of control, we have gotten along.  My husband was a crack user years ago and had been clean for almost two years when I married him.  I knew NOTHING about drugs, so I assumed if he was clean that it was for good.  Not the case!!  My husband started smoking crack two months ago.  Our lives have literally fallen apart.  He won’t get help.  He, like other addicts, SAYS he wants help, but when it’s time for an appt with rehab or a counselor, he won’t go.  I have been patient.  For the safety of our son, I can’t stay with my husband while he is an addict.  He is now smoking the mess in our home and I am SO afraid of our two year old finding a crack rock.  I am so lost at this point, as to where to go from here.
Helpful - 0
498385 tn?1362449404
j34
I know the core of the disease of addiction is self centeredness! it wasnt untill i lost all and given up hope that i seriously searched out help. you have to help yourself first. Put boundries down and stick to them, I can say one thing since I am an addict is we will suck you dry and spit you out and still blame you for our bad behaviours!!.
I suggest al anon or nar anon whatever you hav access to , you are the one who needs to change the situation, he will never get better for you , your kids, or his job. the way to happiness is doing something yourself, leading by example and looking I mean REALLY looking at how his self, centered, selfish,scary behaviour s affecting you at your family , is it really what you want ,it isnt easy but in one of those programs I suggested you will find ppl who will guide you support you and care for you , that is what we do in 12 step programs I wish you all the best j34
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Learned of my husbands crack use just after he found out my father was dying. he has been in and out of NA using crack 1 day and back for the past 2 yrs.  He also was sexaully abused by his oldest brother as a kid.  His gay friend who got him into crack had him running around getting it for him and had been having affair with him.  I confronted husband about the use of crack may now be used for sexual confusing and acting out sexually with the friend so he needs to come out of denial and stop blaming crack.  He is seeking help since his NA sponsor was not equipped to deal with it. he was alone in this. but there is no hope to believe him as he may not be gay or bi. he wants the marriage to last.
Helpful - 0
352798 tn?1399298154
This is an old post, start a new one. Those people aren't here any more.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
i read your comment as to rather he is smoking or sniffing.  To answer the question, he is smoking.  Trust me I have been there.  The staying out the excuses the attitude.  It makes U feel like you are walking on egg shells.  Losing the jobs, or in my case he quit good jobs.  Then he makes it seem like everything is your fault.  you try to do everything to please him.  His friends you are never going to meet cause he is afaid that they will tell you what is really going on. When looks sad and says nothing is wrong, he is feening for the drug.  He get mad when you ask if he uses crack cause he doesnt want you to think of him as less than a man. My husband cooks and cleans like it nobodys business.  Yes, he cheats.  The excuse I got is that this girl is his "Buddy".  Next thing I know I get a 14 page letter she sent when she was locked up. He had a Cadillac, that got repoed and he rode around with these prostitutes and lied and said he never been with any of them.  LIES, LIES LIES.  Everything you described I can relate to.  Craack is no joke.  They will do any and everything to get it. Pray real hard.  Pray hard. May God bless.
Helpful - 0
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495284 tn?1333894042
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