Craving Ugggggggggg

[gizzy32]

I think the best thing I can do right now is post and say that I am having a rare day of cravings and they are sooooooo bad. I don't get many of these now, but am having panic attacks and just vomitted, this reminds me of my first month clean today wtf? I guess I need to take my own advice and get busy,reach out for support, so that is what I am doing! The thoughts about using are so intense and I hate myself for that right now, but I know I am an addict and that is normal from time to time. I guess I am just venting and hoping this goes away soon. Any support and listening to me whine would be helpful, lol. Congrats to everyone here, reading this post really does help.

[dianthusgirl]

Look at all the support you have!  I can see how this forum can help!  You are in my prayers!

[gizzy32]

Good to see you back on here buddy and hope your getting through this. If you want to pm me, I would be more than happy to help and talk about your friend. If i don't get back to you tonight I will soon ok. All cravings suck man, but I believe coke cravings are a lil different. One of the smartest and most experienced members here has told me in confidence his counsellor has said cocaine/crack/herion/meth are by far the worst cravings and toughest to kick, but i don't want to get in trouble for saying that on here, lol.  I did oxy's for a short time too and I craved those bad also. Any drug is a battle and everyone fighting addiction is couragious and strong. Pm me and let me know how you are too. TY

[dominosarah]

I am going to try the "face" thing later!!!!!!!!!!!  LMAO

I am glad you are feeling better.....Remember what addict3 tells us......GUARD UP!!!  I am always around my friend.........mp

[gizzy32]

I am ok guys, it is passing FINALLY. Went for a drive, and ate and feeling much better. I think I am sane again, lol. Ty to everyone from the bottom of my heart. These weak times suck, but it's good to know we are all in this together and we always have the choice to do the right thing. This site really does help me stay clean. Stay strong everyone and when your feeling weak, just whine, it helps:)

[twolve]

You are clearly one of the veterans and leaders of this forum so I am really proud of you for coming here first and admitting how you are feeling in a moment of weakness. Everyone experiences them from time to time. Was your vomit just from the Panic attack or was it something else? I have always been curious about how cocaine cravings/wds/etc differ from opiates, One of my friends has been battling issues with cocaine so if you could share a little of your experience with me then maybe I could reach out to him and understand better. If you dont want to do it in the forum then you can message me. Hang in there buddy, you have been such a tremendous help to me and everyone else here, which is why you see all of us jump at the chance to help you in your time of need.

[notgoingdown]

dont give in. keep on keeping on.

[NorcoQueenoftheUniverse]

Gizzy.. my HONEY BEAR!  YOU are TO STRONG to let this MOMENT get to you!!

We LOVE you TOOO much...

BIG HUGS and PRAYERS your way!

[enufisenuf]

In response to your cravings not fitting the "15 minute and done" mode...only growing stronger...that is what happened to me...went within a few days of 6 months clean and all of a sudden something took over my brain and it lasted for days until I ultimately fell off the wagon.  Used again for 4 months, but managed to stop again, now for 40 days. Up until that craving episode, I had no problems at all, so it is definitely a concern for me now. It does get more difficult to stop each and every time...or at least I forgot just how hard the 2nd, 3rd, and fourth weeks can be mentally...so I will try hard to remember that as not sure how many more times I can get though it.  When that difficult time comes again, I will reach out here for help as you have done Gizzy today.  A lot of people understand what you are dealing with and have expressed their thoughts to you. You know all the cliches...short term solution to long term problem...etc, etc...but they are true.  You have done it and will continue to stay strong.

[beatingthis]

OK time for my 2 cents worth, ya know I love ya and I KNOW you are stronger then any craving! How is work? Golf?
Do you really want to be in that rut again? I saw your pumped up arms and chest, keep working on them and I will keep working on keep my boobs from hitting the floor!

Luv ya Giz,

Terry

[mego579]

i read ur first post and im at 1 month clean now only, and like everydays been cravings BUT 2 days ago, i tried to construct a hairspray huff jsut to try to get high, the cravings for me are so intense i dont give a damn waht i'd have! ( im almost terrified of the oxy im clean from now cuz im scared of the sickness i've been in ) but i also just kinda FLIP OUT,
hyperventalating, screaming, breaking things, crying, suicidial- up and down like crazy

its weird feeling like when i was 15 and would huff or drink or snort anything for a high

last night late i saw an ' intervention' show about 2 brothers. they'd been using oxycontin ( like i was till a month ago) and then eventually had to move to black tar heroin, they'd been smoking it together for 2 years it said and they spent $600 a day on their habit, they filmed them smoking it on foil( BAD IDEA times x100) and would just pass out basically then wake up in a haze and smoke more.
only once right before i had to kick this oxy i tried to smoke one out of desperation because i only had like 2 left and thought mabye it would work better if i smoked one. i think i got high but thankfully i crumpled that foil up and trashed it right away.
  
i'm sure u know as well as i things can get outa control pretty darn fast,
so the cravings, best to use that music and mabye the 5 breathing techniques...
im a weirdo and watch and make horror stuff for natural endorphine release, but if music helps use it!
cuz things can spin out of control fast, so just remember that. and stay on the right path!!!!
im at a month, i heard another poster say 129 days and they flipped still?
o man,
i jsut want to be able to get outa this damn house and back to life and work... A MONTH - and i was becoming successfull and all my hard work was coming to fruition, now im so scared i wont ever be able to start again
agh
a month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know its worth it though, this endurance will not have been for nothing!

[dominosarah]

That song speaks volumes.........

[mama23babies]

Great song gizzy. I just listened to it about 5 times and even the kids love it. Maybe it can be some kind of therapy for them too.lol

[SophieShine]

Gizz hang in there, You are wayyyyy stronger that the beast!!! Remember what you told me a few days back when I was cravings??? Well that goes for you too!!! Crank the music all the way up, Nickelback or a good Alice in Chains Keep busy dammit! lol
xoxoxo. sophie.

[tooklastdose]

great video   thanks for sharing

[122 Tactical Fighter Group]

You already know most of the drill my friend - - its a real drag when a strong shot blindsides you after so long!  But you realize them for what they are - cravings - you know that breathing exercises are usually the best non-RX way to address the panic attacks - -  And you should know that you have a lot of people here that are your friends and that also hold you in high esteem...............  You are making the proper moves - keep making them -

[dominosarah]

"I'll mend myself before it gets me"

[kris123]

Just keep on here; every one cares for you.  You are a great person.

[narla]

I don't know you as well as everyone but I have read many of your posts,I know you can get through these cravings with all our help and prayers-I'll be trying to send good vibes all day

Take Care and we're all with you in heart and spirit

[dominosarah]

Go out in the garage and get all the winter gear to the front.  It is snowing here!!  I know your cravings are usually pretty intense so keep busy and keep talking.  You are in control of you......dont lose sight of that.

You let yourself cry all you want.....and you arent a baby.  Stop saying that.  I am going to listen to the song now......I will be back...........mp

[tooklastdose]

Your are doing great Grizzy,  You help so many others, I'm glad you reached out!!

[gizzy32]

I must be in a crazy mood cause you guys just made me cry, LOL. Thanks mamababies, kris my buddy and lee, ty also.

MP, you know me too well, haha. I had just put seether on before I saw you type it, scary! That is one song that really helps me.

I hate sounding like a baby, but it feels good to know people can relate and help each otehr thru this. Lee, honestly dude, today the cravings are not only lasting 15 minutes, they have only grown, but ill be ok. Thanks bud:)

Here is one of my fav songs that i listen to when craving, this is for you MP too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NO2nqcN3EGg

[dominosarah]

Okay gizzy here goes...........You are in control of you now, not your addiction.  Your brain is playing some nasty games with you.  You are what is important here and your sobriety is number 1.  Figure out what your trigger is here.  Get some music blaring....I know you like Seether, Rise Above This......I am glad you got on here and are talking with us.  Remember how GTMI would tell us to eat dark chocolate?  Has to be 70% chocolate i think!!  Keep talking my friend or else you are gettin a fly over and it wont be pretty!!!!!            mp

[leeisgettingclean]

Hey buddy, hope you are hangin in. Yeah those days blow man but you know that the cravins only last about 15 mins...you just cant obsess on it, like you said, you just gotta keep busy..keep movin..read...go out to eat..go run 5 miles you be so tired when you get home you be to drained to keep thinkin about usin...YOu are an inspiration to all of us, so you just keep moving forward. Keep posting so we can be here for you. Good luck, Lee

[kris123]

awww, i hate to hear you are having a bad day.  I to this day crave at times.  I get that sick feeling and my heart starts to race when I think about it but nope, it isn't worth it and you know that.  The thoughts will go away, just keep thinking about how bad bad bad it is.  Think about how crapy you feel when you use to do it, that shity feeling inside.  I wish I could give you a hug cause I know how it is to crave coke, Oh i know first hand