Creek

[gipsee]

Creek... if you are out.. and forced to go C/T then it would be a good time to start.

Lord only knows about the street pharmacy...I have a very dear friend who visits often.   I truly and honestly would have to go through her to get to the street.  I wouldn't know what to do.   Plus... they are expensive here 7.5 Vics are $4 bucks a piece and 10's are $7.   I would much rather spend my money... shoot.. 10 pills for $70 bucks.   The thought of that makes me tremble... that's a pair of shoes .. LOL

Not that I'm cheap... I just love spending money... But lordy I am paying $10 bucks a script.  $70 for 10 pills would break my heart.  I guess we all have our priorities.   You should see my shoe closet... I do run a close 2nd to Emelda...clothes too... I love clothes.. while cleaning the past weekend I found clothes with tags that I've never even worn... I'm such a ***** when it comes to stuff like that.. it def., takes priority over buying drugs on the street for me.  I should be thankful I guess.

However, w/all that being said...and avoiding my lame attempt at humor... I know deep in my heart...unless you are truly ready and have had enough...no time is a good time.  Taper ... C/T...nothing will work until you have had enough.   I truly can't sugar coat this.. there is nothing pleasant about stopping.   Thankfully I'm still in I HATE THOSE PILLS mode.   I have too much life to let them steal away any more of my
life... Know what I mean?

You are hear giving and receiving help perhaps you are on your way to having enough

XoXo
Gip

[creek]

100. a day easy some days.  It is very scary. I can't believe all the truths I am facing.  YOU ARE RIGHT i need to get off my butt NOW.  Have a peaceful rest.  I have thouroughly scared the **** out of myself now.  GOod.

[creek]

Holy ****, how do you function.  I know this is the pot calling the kettle black but can you really take that much medication and live???  I thought the first time I heard someone take 20 vic a day I would fall off my chair. Until I did it.  Now I listen to you explain your situation and I say But by the grace of God go I, because I could be in your shoes if I had the access.

My friends on the forum are encouraging and supportive. You are in the right place for support.  I was encouraged to close my eyes and think of how I could heal.  What was MY way.  Well everyone here will be quite honest with you.  YOU HAVE TO BE READY AND ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THAT DECISION.  
That is where I am at steve.  I want so bad for other people to be proud of me, however, it is all about being proud of yourself.  Honor and cherish your brain, heart, soul.  I am working towards that with BABY steps beleive me, but I will make it happen,  AND THAT IS THE FIRST TIME I HAVE EVER SAID I WILL TRY.  
You inspire me by sharing your story Keep in touch.

[orangefyre]

;-) SEE...

[nefesh]

I dunno, it just happens sometimes - mebbe it's not really me!

[nefesh]

if you close your eyes and imagine successfully quitting... did it happen cold turkey or with a taper??  which way according to your personality and the root of your soul do you think has a better chance of success??  also; get what you consider to be a really deep, wise, or spiritual book that you can relate to, and try reading it for ten minutes before you hit the tube... Nefesh

[creek]

You are a woman after my own heart!  Can you beleive I pay 100. for 10 and YES I LOVE TO SHOP TOO>  How terrible the bottle is worth more to me than all the fun I could have spending the money in other ways.  

You know, now that the honesty is flowing over the last week of ccommunicating with you, I feel the money is a huge issue.  Maybe if I cannot honor my physical and mental self, honoring my checkbook could be incentive to quit.  I have been only HANGING ON as far as money.  I have ruined my credit and I could definetly have given that money to many people in my life that need it desperately.  Nope, I am so selfish sometimes, so addicted that I let bills go...I NEVER BELIEVED I WOULD BE SAYING THAT.  One thing I do not do is count, not pills, not money, I do not ever face on paper, in  black and white, what this is costing me (liver and budget).

Thanks for your continued perspective. I really like talking to you and you are a great support to all of us.

[creek]

I meant to address that last comment centerspike.  I hope you recieved my message.  

But steve, how are you doing?  You are one of the first people to acknowledge me on the forum and I haven't talked to you lately, Hope YOU are doing great.  Your words of encouragement mean a lot.

[gipsee]

You honestly pay $10 a PILL for a Vicodin?  You gotta be kidding me.... does it have a gold little ball in the middle of it.

Holy Crow... talk about...but there for the Grace of God Go I.... I can't even imagine...it would cost me $60 - 80 a DAY....

I have a brand new script here...100 in the mfg bottle with the lable w/my name overtop of it... how  much money would that be?
Honestly... it's more than my mortgage payment. LOLOL   I shouldn't say that... my house thankfully is paid for.. my Taxes here are $795 a month though... and I choke on that each month... I hate these taxes, I have to pay them quarterly.   But Center seems to get them for almost nothing.   Lordy...
We pay $6.00 a pack here for cigs... I drive to another state and buy them for $2.50....I won't even buy a car w/o paying cash for at least 75% of it.. LOL ... but don't put a pair of shoes or a handbag in front of me that I LOVE... I'd be embarassed to tell you some of the prices for those.

Honey... see if you can't get your butt in gear and get out now before it's too late.  I'd like to paint this bouncy cheerleader kinda picture for you and say... hey it's wonderful but I'm not there yet.  Hopefully it will only get better.  I am thinking more clearly... energy level sucks.. but hey...when I was doing my energy pills... I had the energy and did nothing.

Make it any way you can
Gip

[centerspike]

hi
i have been on hydrocodone 10/500 for 8 1/2 years also soma and oxycotin 20 mg
i am supposed to take 8 hydros a day and 4 somas and 2 oxys at night
but i take 30 or so hydros a day-10-15 somas a day-and between 8-12 oxys a day--i can get an unlimited suppy of the hydros and somas--oxys only get what dr will give
over past year i have ran out for 4 days here 6days there
longest was out was 7 days
can you tell me day by day what withdrawls you went through-i know every one is different-but give me an idea- and day by day your enegy level-eating habbits etc...
like i said i can get all i want for almost nothing, that is not the point-point is i have 2 kids now 15 and 14-i have missed them growing up and i dont want to kill my liver
and big problem i face when out is i dont feel like doing anything, like take trash out etc....
example::::::::::
lets say we have a leaky facet in kitchen needs the washer changed--15 cent part-20-30 min of work--but this is my problem, without any pain meds (narcotic) i dont feel like doing it, then i say as soon as i get my script in i will do it, and once i get more pills, all i want to do is sit and watch t.v., i dont feel like fixing faucet
but when i am out of pills = in my mind i think once i get pills i will do it=but once i have them=i just relax
like i said i can get pills-from dr's or friends, but there has been them rare times when no one had and i had to suffer for a few days
---but i am planning on quiting--any advice
please help
steve