Ok now I am sure that this post will get a lot of responses simply stating how stupid I am but I need some information.
I am 18 and I have no clue how but about three weeks ago I got the opportunity to snort cocaine. I did so and was introduced to the dealer. Over the past three weeks I befriended this kid and I have probably spent over $450 dollars on cocaine since. My consumption rate was/is about a gram a day or a little more.
For the first four days I had no problems and felt great. After that when I would use, the high was very short-lived and lasted around 10 minutes followed by an intense craving for more of the drug.
It was nearing the end of week 1 on Saturday night where I was continuing to use cocaine. I keep snorting more through the entire night to keep my high going and to avoid the horrible comedown. I took my last line around 6 A.M. About and hour or two later my heart began to beat hard and I felt a small pain/pressure in the heart area. This was followed by a pain in my left arm which soon began to feel numb. The back of my neck, my toes, and my right calf muscle also became numb. I knew there were heart attack risks and I became very frightened and had my cell phone clutched in my hand in case I had to dial 911. Well fortuneatley my heartbeat returned to normal in about two and a half hours and the other strange symptoms left. I honestly think I was close to a heart attack/cardiac arrest. Opinions?? Through that whole night I probably snorted between 1 and 2 grams of cocaine.
Nevertheless I used cocaine later that day! I continued this daily use for another week.
Let me assert really quick that no one that knows be would ever suspect me of drug use. I am an honor roll student and a pleasure to be around in general. I am about six feet tall and underweight weighing about 145 lbs. I took my shirt off the other day and looked at myself in the mirror and almost threw up. Since beginning to use cocaine, y ribs and exposed(more than they were before) along with the bony area between my pecks. Also I have been blowing blood every time I blow my nose.
Through this ordeal I have continued to tell myself: "I'll quit" or "Just one more day" etc....
People at my work have become suspicious. I have had very little sleep over the past couple weeks and I look very terrible. I normally have a fairly good complexion but through last night (my last night of using cocaine) I broke out with red zits all over my face. I have lost my sense of smell and can only smell something if I stick my nose in it.
Ok, first of all thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this far as I have no one else to go to for medical advice.
To wrap it up: last night I purchased another gram of cocaine. I snorted about 7/8 of the bag between 7pm and 2:30 am. It was at that time that my heart began to race to a point where I was uncomfortabel with so I cut myself off for the rest of the night. I have been awake since. Around five a.m. this morning I got of the couch downstairs to go lay in my bed upstairs. As soon as I got off the couch I got chills over my entire body. I was freezing cold. I walked up to my room and put long pants and a hooded sweatshirt on. I then went in my bathroom and began checking my nose (which had been runny all night). It was then that I discovered a small slit in the skin on the side of the septum in my right nostril. To be quite honest I about **** my pants. I had about 1/8 gram of cocaine left under my bed and upon discovering this slit in my nose I grabbed the cd case with the cocaine and dumped it straight in the toilet. there was still a considerable amount left mind you, but discoving a slit in my nose was just a little too much. Will this slit heal?
This has been a horrible ordeal for me bouncing between happiness and depression for the past two weeks. Right now I feel pretty shitty. I will probably lay down to sleep in the next hour or so and I will sleep until around 3pm or so. My body is exhausted and I look horrible. My face is covered in red acne that was not there yesterday and I have dark bags unber my eyes. I just look horrible. I mean it when I say I am done with cocaine it is such a horrible drug and through this experience I can see how so many people lose there lives (figuratively and literally) over this drug. I never saw myself speing five hunred dollars on something so pointless. I basically bought the damage I have to done to my body.
AFter reading this story I have a few questions. Thank you so much to anyone who is reading this.
1. What should I do in the next few weeks to recover my health? Or will it just come back to me over time?
2. Will I get my sense of smell back?; Will the slit in my nose heal? It is not a complete hole and the cartilidge is not exposed. This is in my right nostril.
3. Have I permanently damaged my heart? Anything else?
4. My teeth also hurt badly. My gums are red. Why is this?
5. When I pull my bottom eyelid down (like a doctor would) the inside of my eyelid instead of being red, is white! Why is this and what does it mean?
Thank you so much for your help. Please post any other advice you may have for me.
Please spare me the comments saying how stupid I am because I am a smart person I and I know what I have done is anything but smart.
I can honestly say that I don't really know to much myself about cocaine...We all have our drug of choice. My expertise is in Oxy's...However, there will be many people that will reply to your post. Make sure you continue to check it. There aren't that many people on-line right now, but the ones that are will certainly help you. I wish I could be of more assistance. I do know that if you discontinue your usage you everything that has changed will restore itself. That goes without saying...But I am, again, not the person to answer your questions..Keep loggin on and keep posting anything you want to know. Someone on here will answer you and help you. Good luck and dont keep beating yourself up. We all make mistakes...its the courage to fix those mistakes that matter...
Ok i have seen this many times. i myself have never speed, cocaine or anything like it because it was my thing. im going to tell you something what i have seen(never done this i can only 3rd person ok)
you are at the quitting point..thats awesome. you see what it has done to you and dont like it. if you kept or keep doing it you very well could suffer severe problems. im pulling for you here..ok so never feel like your alone.
when i was 19 i dated a guy, he was on cocaine and i never realized it..i just thought he was fun and had alot of energy until his moods became violent and he became paranoid. i then found out what the problem was..that drug was not doing enough( like you he always needed more and yes blew a hole in his nose) so then he began to use herion. that was it for me i was done..back then i was just a socail drinker and never did drugs. im 31 now.
the day after i broke up with him he binged on some cocaine. he cussed me all day and even tried to hit me with a stool. later that night a friend had a party and i went , i had drink so much i didnt want to drive so i stayed there...this was also his best freind..he drove by saw my car and got mad. so the next morning he got high..herion and done that all day. he was only 19 years old and on a rage was driving to do whatever cuss me or something and wrecked 3 houses down. he died. at 19 yrs old. point being..your body is messed up now but can heal..your face is messed up but will heal. your nose has a hole but it will heal..if you dont stop ..you will eventually die ..in some way or another. i never talk about this guy..but for you..i thought a reality jolt may help you have the will power to totally stop using. not trying to scare you ..but show you..there is no happiness at the end of an 8 ball only more problems.
please..post here..ask for help..take the advice each person will give you and
you will kick this and be back to the person you were before. if not a better perosn..nothing comes from a drug habit..but everything comes from being clean. i hope this inspires you and lets you know..your not alone and ppl do care.
i have done cocaine once but thankfully hadnt had my own personal stash to the point where i would do it as much as i wanted to.. thank god.. but i would have.. but from my experience, the slit in your nose will heal yes.. the mucus membrane was burnt out from snorting all the cocaine.. the thing is, you never know how pure the cocaine is.. if you did get another bag , say from another dealer or even the same dealer, you dont even know if it will have the same ingredients.. so its russian roulette every time you snort some.. i imagine that your gums are all red from the irritation of the cocaine.. did you do the "numbies" by rubbing the coke on your gums? that will irriate them quit easily.. the thing is, your body WILL return to normal.. you put it in a sort of panic mode, or even gave a shock to it if you will.. you will be surprised what our bodies can put up with.. but remember that cocaine is one of the most dangerous drugs out there becuase you dont know what it's cut with.. how are you feeling today?? please check back in and give an update on how you feel!
from the sound of your post, you do plan on NOT doing anymore, correct???
one of the first things you should do is irrigate your sinus. take warm water in your hands and suck it up your nostrils. this will rinse out any remaining coke you have stuck up there. it may make you a little sick, but its not good to leave any residue up there.
as far as your heart goes, if it gets worse, you should see a doctor. you may find that once you stop your heart rate will return back to normal. and you should start gaining the weight you lost once you stop using.
Wow thanks for the fast responses. I appreciate the emotional support but I only really experience depression when I am coming off the the drug. Right now I am very sleep deprived but I feel a hundred times better than I did a few hours ago. This is the point of the cycle where I would pass out, wake up and feel great. I'd say to myself "I feel good now no cocaine" But then, I would end up with my dealer friend and would say "**** it" and the night would be fun and awesome. it is when I finally come home and have to stop myself when I start to feel bad. In all the times I have been----OMG THIS IS SO WEIRD MY ******* DEALER FREIND JUST CALLED ME AND WAS LIKE "hey is it cool if me and racheal (his gf) come over and I couldnt say no but I know he will bring coke with him. He asked me if I had any left and I remembered dumping the stuff in the toilet. omg i dont know what to do the cycle is going to repeat itself already AS i am typing this. this is so weird
Classic instant cocaine addiction. It's a bad monkey and will get worse if you continue... course you've already seen that. Your body will be fine. If you end up doing it again, you are going to have to get into a program to save you life. The definition of insanity, (12 Step program's), is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Go with the conclusions of your recent research, (the stupid part) and stay far away from that dealer and any "friends" that are into that... there are plenty of people that will have you as a pleasure to be around that don't destroy their lives with drugs. You were definitely on a quick collision with death in a fast way if not a slow destruction of a normal life. Maybe go to a cocaine anonymous meeting and ask them if you should continue the research? They have done it, and have hard impiracle data on why you should run from it like your life depends on it.... BECAUSE IT DOES.
DO NOT DO COCAINE!......i remember once i did a whole 8 ball with a buddy in one night and had to go to the hospital that's the only thing it ever did for me was make me go to the freakin hospital. Now why do a drug that makes you wonder if you need to go to the hospital everytime you do it right? lol jeez man the coc is a very pleasurable drug for 15 minutes but after that your wondering "should i go to the hospital"? for the rest of the night so my suggestion to you would be to leave it alone . I may be addicted to pain meds and have a hard time quitting them but even when i'm detoxing off them i don't think i need to go to the hospital.....lol......take care man and don't do cocaine.
Hang in there Robert. I will have to tell you to stop that **** as soon as possible. I know first hand the devastating physical and mental damage that
drug can do to one's life. Coke and Alcohol has destroyed my future. I went to
rehab,forced from my employer about 5 years ago. I got clean,but after only 2
months off the drugs,I was diagnosed with Avascular Necrosis. It destroyed
my both hips.At only 30 years of age at that time,being in excellent physical
shape and having a well paying mechanic job,it all went down the gutter.I had to have 2 total hip replacements and well now am dealing with yet another
opiate addiction from the pains of the replacements,Methadone and Oxy.Let
me tell you that the 10 year Coke habit cost me much more than a few hundred thousand dollars,it cost me my health,self asteme,and worst of all
my future, a mechanic.I have sinus and nose issues for life also.I did coke and
drank alcohol almost every night for ten years straight.I still kept a well paying
job though,but after calling in sick from being strung out and or hung over so
many times,my boss knew something was going on and well,if he didn't force
me to go to rehab or I'd lose my job,I'd have to say that I probably would not be
here today,trying to help people like yourself.I was unable to kick the Coke habit alone,I was far too gone,so please get professional help ASAP. The longer one is in denial and continues to use,the worse it gets.Never be ashamed to ask for help.By the way Robert,your nose will heal,so long as it
doesn't come in contact with any more nose candy. Don't get me wrong,I'm not
trying to scare you or anyone else for that matter,but I wish someone scared
me straight before the drug took me under.Just trying to help.
My husband is addicted to CRACK cocaine...I am an exaddict (19yrs.) I've been there for my husband however lately I've been wondering what if he is a binge addict... he has the symtoms of one....for sure.... well that is my problem and I will deal with it.... for you take it one day at a time.... seriously.... I dont/didnt do AA or NA to kick the habit... just know that some of the stuff that they believe in is the real deal !! take care of yourself and you will be around to take care of your loved ones !!!
i was watching t.v. when i heard this term binge addict, my ex husband whom i still love very much i think a binge addict. i brought him down here to the south from the city to try and help him. now i watched him when he got here.he went almost a year do nothing because he did not know anyone but when he started meeting people he went off and he was like a wild man so it is not like he has to have it everyday just like i read when something sets him off he is gone i just need more information on how to undrstand and deal with this because i am truly niave when it comes to these matters. sincerly moni
When I was your age cocaine was my drug of choice, in fact it was my favorite. I often went on binges such as yours. The only thing I can say is that your body will heal if you stop NOW. You are young and your body will surely recover if you choose to stop damaging it. Please also consider the mental repurcussions of your actions. I now have Adult ADD amongst a slew of other conditions all likely caused by my heavy cocaine and ecstacy use as a growing young adult. Later on I became addicted to vicodins which of course hasn't helped but I am trying hard.
I stopped by cutting contact with the dealer and people I used with. You can't be around it or the substance, you have to be strong and not give in. Once the initial period passes you will find it easier to get over but you must also seek counseling or you'll find yourself replacing the coke with something else as I did. You can do anything you put your mind to and it's obvious you know this needs to change - you're an intelligent person with an entire future ahead of you, do what your mind tells you to and quit the drug.
Ive done plenty of cocaine in my day. In my personal opinion you will be fine. The heart/getting numb thing was probably a product of the paranoia caused by cocaine, I doubt youve done much if any damage. The slit in your nose will heal in a few days, it could be a result of the coke itself or from you picking at your nose after it gets all boogered up from doing coke. Seeing blood in your snot is not uncommon with coke use, and the more your product is 'cut' the more common this (along with most of the other bad effects) is. Your teeth hurting is most likely the result of excessive, prolonged clenching of your jaw/teeth from the stimulant effects of the cocaine (especially when doing it in binges like you have been). Not sure about your eyes, but I dont think its anything to worry about.
Although I will point out, deciding to binge for 2 weeks on a NEW drug after initial use does indicate there could be a future addiction with said drug. But coke is not physically addicting so much like opiates are, so you wont really have much if any withdrawals upon stopping. If your already on this site after 2 weeks of drug use then you probably shouldnt be using recreational drugs at all.
Just my personal opinion after a few years of doing coke and a few months of doing crack.
I did cocaine for about a year, maybe a little more, and there were countless nights that I would force myself to try and fall asleep around 5 or 6am, clutching my heart and lying in bed completely depressed and coming off the cocaine. God, looking back on that year still gives me horrible anxious and depressed feelings. It just gets worse and worse and the high gets shorter and shorter. It wasn't until this year, my first year in college, that I actually had to go to the hospital for it. I had the same experience as you. My heart beat was racing, entire body numb including my whole head, tingly arms and legs, and my legs and arms wouldn't stop twitching. I couldn't really stand or speak, but from the outside I almost looked normal (at least that is what my friends said.) ANyways, this went on for about 5 hrs, and I swore I would never do coke again.Two weekends later I did it again and my heart hurt so bad. For the next few weeks my heart would randomly start hurting, like sharp pains, or pressures. I even had a panic attack a few months back. After a couple weeks without using it, the heart pain went away, thank god because I thought it was terrifying. Point is, you may feel a little pain and you'll probably be sick a lot. But like others said it is not physically addicting, and i'd urge you to get out before you get in too deep. Sry I couldn't really answer most of your questions, but I can relate on that scary almost heart attack type feeling. Definitly scared the **** out of me.
whats up buddy? i know you're going through hell right now... but its going to be okay. Try to eat nutritious foods, exercise, and keep yourself moving and away from people and situations that may cause you to relapse. Its important that you keep a positive atitude about the entire situation because your emotions are going to play a major role in how you deal with the hell your body is going to put you through. You may feel like you have a drip going or your face goes numb or your heart races and suddenly flashbacks of a cocaine night will be conjered up even against your will... but its just your body craving the drug. Cocaine is poison to your system and only ***** you up. Your smart... so look up the biochemistry of cocaine and what it does to your brain and CNS (central nervous system). You need dopamine for your brain to function properly. Your tank is on low so you need to give your body a break here. You don't want to end up on the streets because you couldn't say no to something that people everyday have to say no to. It's all literally in your head. If you can think, MIND over MATTER... you'll be fine.
Oh by the way... something that really helped me was doing a sauna treatment where i ran on a treadmill for 15 minutes and then sat in a sauna everyday for 2 weeks to sweat it all out. i sat in there for 40 minutes and worked myself up to 3 hours a day. It helps with the recovery... big time. You'll go back to how you felt like before you ever used.... but its going to be tough.
As far as your body recovering..... that all depends. Go see a doctor and have them check you out. Too many variables in this equation to be considered for there to be an easy answer to your questions. One thing is certain though..... your body regenerates for the most part and returns to a healthy state if you DISCONTINUE use. Good luck buddy... and hope you get through this. See it as an opportunity to face your demons and see what you're really made of. Who's going to win this one? You..... or a white powder poison synthesized in the jungles of Bolivia/Colombia where they mix GASOLINE and SALT and COCA LEAFS and then is later cut up with rat poison and whatever they can get their hands on to cut it up with. The point is.... are you going to be the bigger man.... or is it going to get the best of you? Time to man up bro.... take it like a man... and move on.
your dealer 'friend' is not your friend at all- you are his paycheck and he got you hooked fast and wants to keep you going.... and as long as he can call you to chat then he will. him and his gf will stop by do a line and then you will HAVE to buy more, its only right since he just hooked you up, can't leave him hanging....
well you know its not a smart idea to go back into the cycle, and in the long run it could kill you.
get a new phone number don't give it to the dealer or any friends of the dealer and move forward. go to your doctor if you can't do wds Im sure there is something they can give you to help, but you have to want to be done, you have to need it.
and from what a very close friend of mine said (since I did pain pills its not the same drug..) but she told me that you always chace that first high thats why you spend more and more on it and get all strung out. you have bad low low highs, but maybe just maybe you will get high like the first time.... you don't and you never will. to the drug dealer you are his paycheck, remember that, he is not your friend.
This is very close to what is happening to me so I guess ill tell my story as well.
well two weeks ago I was at a party and everyone was outta beer. lol. so a couple people started talking about getting some coke. these being actually really close friends of mine and my need to not let the night end early, coupled with my want to see what it was like I joined in. I got my share for the night and after reading this website I realized I was close to Od that night.
anyway long story short I got some more the next day.10gs. reason why I got so much was because: for one it was payday. and for two I wanted that feeling again to last forever.
over the past two weeks I've been taking my time with it. and decided to bring some with me to the bar one night.
me being dd I couldnt drink and I knew itwouldnt affect my driving like anything else ever would. it was 830 and we all planed on leaving after 3am so I figured I was good. to do some. so a 2g baggy to my self was gone before 930. Not tellin everyone whati was doing becuase this was a differnt group of friends andthey would rather drink anyway.
feeling the Od feeling which I now know about and later everything waring off I was feeling every tired by 3am. I stop and get a four pack of red bull for the 125km drive home ( which was stupid in the first place) I start pounding em back to keep my eyes open.
drive home fine sober as hell red bull was workin. get to the house and got crazy pain everywhere. I start throwing up because of somethin that feels like the stmoache flu which we all it isn't. closest hospital is about 30 km away. I couldn't stop throwing up and decided to keep on drinking water to flush the **** out. well now its a couple hours after and I'm afraid to fall alseep right now because I might not wake up.
so down the drain went over 900 worth of coke. wow what a waste. After seeing dollars going down the drain I never wanna touch that **** again. Plus the smell of red bull vomit is almost making me gag.
Well that's my story of my hopefully short lived wild ride.
not bad buddy but i'm coming out of a 30 hour terror where i did 3 8 balls. still got a bit left but its mostly all inside me. This is my last hoorah and now its good bye to this **** place. gonna jjack the rest into my vein and see what happens next.
Oh GAWD its been a fun ride but its gotta end somehow.
Go out witha bang not a whimper!1
MY NAMES CALi, iVE iM 19 iVE BEEN SNORTiNq C0KE SiNCE i WAS 15, THE GUY i USE TO BABYSiT FOR iNTRODUCED iT TO ME ONE NiqHT WHEN i WAS LEAViNq His HOUSE, HiS WiFE WAS THERE TOO. i THOUGHT THE PILE OF POWDER WAS CRUSHED UP PERKS AT FIRST CUZ I KNEW HE DID THEM AND I SNORTED PILLS BACK THEN TOO SO IM LIKE "CAN I HAVE SOME" AND THEIR LiKE "THiS is COCAiNE NOT PERKS" AND i DIDNT EVEN THINK TWICE I SNORTED A LiNE AND FELL iN LOVE. THEY SENT ME HOME (ACROSS THE STREET) WiTH MAYBE A 20 WORTH OF COKE AND I KiLLED iT AND FELL RiqHT ASLEEP, i USE TO BE ABLE TO SLEEP ON COKE i CANT NOW. THE REASON i DIDNT HESITATE TO SNORT THAT LINE THAT NIGHT IS BECAUSE IN 4TH GRADE I FOUND OUT MY MOM WAS SNORTING COKE, ITT WAS OUR SECRET MY BROTHER DIDNT KNOW. SHE LET US DO WHATEVER AND PRETTY MUCH NEGLECTED US SJE DIDNT CARE WHAT WE DID AS LONG AS WE WERE OUT OF HER HAIR WHILE SHE WAS HIGH, SHE ALWAYS HAD NOSE BLEEDS, i WITNESSED HER HALLUCINATE TWICE, BUT HSE KEPT GOING BACK. SO EARLY ON I WAS LIKE "WELL WHATS SO GOOD ABOUT THIS DRUG THATS MAKIN MY MOM WANT IT SOO BAD AND MAKIN HER LITERALLY TELL US TO GO PLAY OUTSIDE INSTEAD OF NOT LETTING US GO OUT BEING WE WERE IN 4TH AND 2ND GRADE.i WANNA TRY IT ONE DAY" SHE USE TO BRING ME WITH HER TO CAMDEN,NJ TO HER DEALER FERNANDO, HATE HIM! SO ANYWAYSZ THATS H0W iT STARTED, I REMEMBER LAYING IN BED THAT FIRST NIGHT SMILING AND JUST LIKE FANTASIZING ABOUT COKE, I COULDNT WAIT TO BABYSIT AGAIN TO GO GET SOME MORE COKE, I WAS ALWAYS SLEEPING WITH THIS GUY I WAS BABYSITTING FOR HE WAS LIKE 35-40 I WAS 15 IN THE BEGINNIG I WOULD GET WIRED AND FEEL GOOD, ID BE TALKATIVE EVERYTHING WAS GREAT, BUT I STARTED SNORTING MORE AND MORE, MAKING THE DUDE I BABYSAT FOR(DAVE) GO GET MORE AND MORE COKE, THEN I WULD JUST CALL HIM AND ASK HIM TO LEAVE ME SOME COKE ON THIS FRONT STEP UNDER THE MATT SO I CULD JUST COME GET IT AN DLEAVEAND GO OUT AND DO WHATEVER I WAS DOING AT THE TIME. THEN I STARTED GETTING DEPRESSED AS **** WHEN I WOULD CRASH, I HATED IT. I CULDNT SLEEP CULDNT EAT. I STILL HADNT LOST WEIGHT THOUGH.I WAS ALSO DOING XANIES TOO, EVENTUALLY WHEN I WAS LIKE 16 I WENT FROM 135 LBS TO 99LBS INA MATTER OF LIKE A WEEK AND A HALF N0 LIE, I LOOKED ****** HIDEOUS, A DISGRACE. I ALWAYS SED ID NEVER SMOKE CRACK, I DID THAT TO0 ONE NIGHT BECAUSE THATS ALL THAT WAS AROUND, IT MADE ME DO **** I WULD HAVE NEVER DONE BEFORE. I WAS BADDD ON XANIES TOO THERES LIKE 2 YEARS OF MY LIFE THATS A COMPLETE BLUR, IVE BEEN TO 3 INPATIENT REHABS AND 2 OUTPATIENTS, IM CURRENTLY WAITING FOR A BED TO OPEN AT A REHAB RIGHT NOW BECAUSE A CUPLE DAYS AGO I WENT ON A XANAX BINGE, I O'D NOVEMBER 9TH 2011 ON XANIES AND I STILL DO THEM, I GOT ARRESTED A CUPLE DAYS AGO AND DONT EVEN REMEBER IT, ALL I REMEMBER IS GETTING CUFFED, THEY SAY XANAX AND COKE IS THE WORST POSSIBLE MIX B/C THEY DO THE COMPLETE OPPOSITES OF EACHOTHER COKE SPEEDS U UP XANAX MAKES A ZOMBIE LIKE DOPE...WHICH IVE DONE TOO AND METH ...ALL **** "I WOULD NEVER DO" PST OKAY! I WAS DOING OOKAY FOR LIKE A LITTLE OVER A YEAR MAYBE AND THEN I MET MY CURRENT BF, I WAS A STRIPPER AND ESCORT, THATS HOW I MET HIM ACTUALLY HE CALLED ME UP FOR AN "APPOINTMENT" I HADNT MET HIM YET, HE JERKED ME OFF LIKE 3 TIMES ONE TIME HE SAID "YEA IM SORRY ABOUT THAT, I WAS IN A.C ALL NIGHT, ITS BEENA LONG NIGHT" I KNEW OFF THE RIP HE WAS A COOCSTER(COKEHEAD) SO I SAID "YEA I KNOW ALL ABOUT THOSE NIGHTS" LETTING HIM KNOW I WAS TOO CUZ I ALL OF A SUDDEN WANTED TO DO COKE AGAIN, SO FINALLY WE MET THE FIRST NIGHT WE DID A LITTLE OVER AN 8BALL AND ****** ALLL NIGHT LONq, THis WAS XACTLY ONE YEAR AGO, EVERY SINGLE DAY SINCE THAT TIME IVE BEEN SNORTHING COKE MORE AND MORE, MY BF USE TO SAY "I GOTTA STOP DOING COKE IM BLOWING SKIN OUT OF MY NOSE" IM THINKEN YEA OK ITS JUST A "COKE BOOGIE" ULL BE OKAY, CUZ HE EXAGGERATES EVRYTHING ANYWAY, THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS IVE BEEN BLOWING ****** FAMILIES OUT OF MY NOSE, AND JUST NOW LIKE LITERALLY 10 MINUTES AGO I BLEW OUT A HUGEEEE PIECE OF SKIN AND IM SITTING HERE WITH A ****** TISSUE IN MY NOSE BLOOD IS JUST POURING OUT, I KNOW I NEED TO STOP LIKE THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL, WILL I STOP? HOPEFULLY BUT I THINK THE FIRST STEP WULD DEF BE LETTING GO OF VINNY BC EVEN IF HES NOT DOING COKE AROUND ME HES A TRIGGER FOR ME BC WERE BASICALLY JUST IN A DRUG RELATIONSHIP, IF HE DOESNT HAVE COKE I DONT WANNA BE BOTHERED WITH HIS ***, HES OUT ME THROUGH ALOT OF ******** TOO, HE GETS NUTSSS ON COKE, IM JUST NUITS PERIOD SO THAT DOESNT WORK, I BUSTED HIS NOSE LIKE 3 TIMES AND LIKE 2 WEEKS AGO GAVE HIMA BLACK EYE LIKE BLOODY NOSE LIKE THIS ISNT NORMAL AND I KNOW THAT. I JUJST CALLED THE REHAB AND THEY STILL DONT HAVE AN AVAILABLE FEMALE BED SO IM JUST WAITING TO GET INTO REHAB, THIS WILL BE THE FIRST TIME IM GOING WILLINGLY, ALL THE OTHER TIMES I WAS UNDER 18 AND ON PROBATIONA AND IN THE SYSTEM AND HAD NO CHOICE, SO WELL SEE HOW THIS GOES, IF THEY EVER EVEN ****** HAVE AN AVAILABLE BED IVE BEEN UP FOR LIKE ****** 40 HOURS MAYBE HAD 5-6 HOURS OF "SLEEP" IN BETWEEN, I HAVE TO TAKE TRAZEDONE OR A BUNCH OF ADVIL OR TYLENOL PM'S TO SLEEP NOW. I KNOW A LADY WHO LITERALLY HAS HALF A NOSE BECAUSE THE COKE DESTROTED AND ATE AWAY AT HER NOSE, SHE LOOKS LIKE A ****** MONSTER I DOTN WANNA END UP LIKE THAT AND I DONT WANT YOU TO END UP LIKE THAT EVEN THO IDK YOU FROM A CAN OF PAINT, NO ONE SHULD GO THRU THIS THOUGH THATS ALL I KNOW. U SHULD RELLI STOP WHILE U CAN BUT U KNOW THAT UR THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN MAKE U STOP
oh yea i use to have a huge *** sore in my nose as well it would hurt if iblew my nose, i got a cuple scabs in there now but this one wen i was like 16 was ****** huse it looked like i had a boogie in my nose ALL the time, i wuld try to cut it with a nail file and it wuld just keep growing like a second nose and now when i do coke just like you i dont feel **** i just keep snorting away
Dude, you will be fine,
Its great you have reached this point after just one run and a few hundred dollars (I myself have blown literally a few hundred THOUSAND dollars over the last 10 years). Take what you have learnt with this experience and realise that if you continue, the negative effects will be compounded many many times over. If you stop now you will enjoy a long happy life filled with achievements, and if you don't chances are you will have a bad time....Good luck and say NO to drugs in future
That crap is the devil. I did it and lived it. Hooked instantly & would of done ANYTHING for it. Sad sad. I ended up in read after five months. Did rehab again two months later. That was 14 years ago! I moved to Cali & lived in a sober home for a year. At that point I was able to live my life. You can do it and recover fully. Pray a whole bunch & find a new group of friends. All these years later I am now kicking it off Percs for paint management. I decided that I can't take two pills a day for the rest of my life. On day 6 here but the physical pain plus the detox pain hurts really bad. I hope that I don't pick up the phone & call the Doc for a script. Praying daily that I can do this. Stick on this forum for help & answers. We are all to precious to dance with that Devil!
First of all, I just wanted to applaud you for having taken the time to truly put yourself out there and what were obviously extremely trying times.
It has now roughly been 6 years and you're now older and wiser, how did your story unfold?
I'm hoping that you learned from your experience and that today you are drug free.
I was "Googling" how to recover from a cocaine binge myself when I found your story.
I just recently went on a 24 how marathon deprived of food and sleep and today feel just as you felt a few years back... minus feeling the heart attack symptoms.
The sad thing for me is that i'm not a young man encountering this for the first time and have been struggling off and on with cocaine addiction for over 20 years now. It's a tough road and it's a disease that requires treatment, I had forgotten I was an addict because I would only use 1/2 to a g a week when I went out and drank with the boys, it had been very controlled for a few years.
Due to a change in stress levels and feelings of great remorse and guilt, I went on a rampage and couldn't tell you how much I bought or how much I spent doing this devil all night and day non stop.
It has brought me to a place I hadn't been in years and now need to take drastic measures, your post was helpful in the sense that I didn't feel "alone" so thank you for that.
Now begins another attempt at sobriety and taking on this disease with all I have, I have so much to lose and too many people to hurt.
I'd love to know how you are doing these days and I truly hope that you have overcome the battle you faced.
I don't know for sure that this is what it is, but the red of your eyes being white is one of the main symptoms of being anemic. Being out on the drugs and not eating and taking care of your self could of caused you to become anemic. Take some iron pills or check with your doctor, i am extreme anemic and have to have iron enhanced blood through an iv every couple months, it gets so bad my body shuts down and causes me to have seizures. Just thought I'd throw that idea out there
Robert2667: As said above, classic cocaine addiction.
I've had several runs in my life on various this and that--- the big one for me was a couple of months hooked on crack cocaine which ruined my life --- burnt all my cash, sold everything of value, borrowed through the teeth from everyone and everything --- ended up with far less than nothing.
The best advice I have to offer anyone reading this is GET AWAY FROM IT- Wherever or whomever you are getting it from, disassociate and turn the complete other way. When it is 'only a quick phone call away' it is very easy to just do one more baggie; "oh, just this weekend" you tell yourself --- but that never ends.
Myself, I love my alcohol, live on coffee, and love the computer games. I turn to those less taxing habits and settle in for several days focusing on them ---- chill out with old more familiar habits.
It will take about a week for the immediate symptoms (bloody, then constant runny nose, the facial breakouts, the sweats, the _need_ to just call your dealer "just one more time"). When it comes to your heart, for a quick run like you had a week or two your heart should recover just fine, nasal cavities get pretty much back to normal. Dress the nasal wound wit a good cleaning and a little polysporin and it'll be fine. The old adage of drinking water water water doesn't hurt at all either --- flush your system out. For the face just treat it like any other breakout --- wash thoroughly several times a day, apply some acne medication if you have some.
I myself just went on a two week tear, about $1000 into it. I had two weekends off, and some vacation time to burn in between so I went for it. Of course now I'm hooked as well :( As I said though, for me lots of light beer, World of Warcraft account and freshly stocked supplies for the coffee pot to live out Friday, Saturday and Sunday, back to work on Monday and repeat -- I'll be back to normal.
Of course I've received several txt's from my dealer; just flat out ignoring them. I'll run another tear someday down the road but for this year I'm done. I know the damage that is done; financially, physically, socially --- time to draw the line and clean up.
I know this is a super old thread but I liked the frankness and honestness of the posts so I thought I'd add my own.
Since this thread is more than 6 years old and the original participants are no longer taking part, we'll close it now. If you'd like to ask a question or start a new thread, please click the "Post a Question" button near the top of this page. Thanks!
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