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Day 1 Without Oxycodone
Hello Group,
I am here to join the rank and file of those who've kicked the Oxycodone demon. For me, oxys have gone from being my best friend to the worst enemy I've ever had the misfortune to cross paths with. I've spent the past few days reading everything archived on this site and am armed with the knowledge you've all shared. It's only day 1 and so far I feel a little less well than OK, but I know that things are going to get ugly as time progresses. I am living by the mantra, "Expect the best but prepare for the worst." I have my arsenal of vitamins and amino acids, healthy meals prepared in the refrigerator and freezer, and I am praying that I have the diligence, fortitude and will power to see this through to a positive conclusion. I started my day by telling my husband that I think I am coming down with something......
A little about me. In 2007, I suffered a debilitating accident while playing in a ball tournament. The injuries were significant enough to have caused doubts in the mind of the surgeons as to how the accident happened. After 5 extensive surgeries, a few minor procedures, years of physio and abject dedication to rehabilitation, I was able to walk unaided by 2010. Oxycodone saw me through those painful years, and to give credit where credit is due, I don't think I'd have recovered without them. I wouldn't have been able to endure the painful healing and rehabilitation process. However, I also very much appreciated the other "benefits" of oxy. I was virtually stress free for the first time in my life and everything seemed perfect and right with the world. As everyone who has ever called oxy their friend or happy pill knows, the party doesn't last. As I needed them less and less for pain, I craved them more and more to maintain that bubble of happy. So now I am in the present, 2013. I've managed to keep my addiction hidden from my husband and doctor. Though my doctor will still prescribe the pills for me, questioning each time why I need them, his prescriptions aren't enough. I've resorted to stealing entire 100 pills per bottle quantities from my husband who has suffered a terrible back injury from a logging accident. Unbeknownst to him, each time he gets a new prescription, I replace his pills with aspirin of a similar size and appearance. He has yet to notice that those pills don't have the markings of oxy on them. His only comment is that he can't see why anyone thinks oxys are great because they don't do much for him. How devious and conniving I've stooped to being. .
I have a fantastic job starting on November 18th. I should have thought about getting oxy-free before now. It's the job I've been working towards for years and I'm scared that on the oxy's I won't have the powers of concentration and attention to detail that I will certainly need to succeed in the position.
So here I am.... day 1 without Oxycodone. I could just go ahead and give up now, go have a pill and give up almost before i started, or I can see this through. My husband thinks I am coming down with something.... my cover story... the hours and days ahead will tell the tale of how far down I am going to come. It's unfortunate that I've put myself in a place where I have to come clean without really coming clean. I am hoping that I can just weather this storm and no one but I will be the wiser.
At this moment I am feeling less that OK, tired, restless and really angry with myself.
All the best to all of you!
I am here to join the rank and file of those who've kicked the Oxycodone demon. For me, oxys have gone from being my best friend to the worst enemy I've ever had the misfortune to cross paths with. I've spent the past few days reading everything archived on this site and am armed with the knowledge you've all shared. It's only day 1 and so far I feel a little less well than OK, but I know that things are going to get ugly as time progresses. I am living by the mantra, "Expect the best but prepare for the worst." I have my arsenal of vitamins and amino acids, healthy meals prepared in the refrigerator and freezer, and I am praying that I have the diligence, fortitude and will power to see this through to a positive conclusion. I started my day by telling my husband that I think I am coming down with something......
A little about me. In 2007, I suffered a debilitating accident while playing in a ball tournament. The injuries were significant enough to have caused doubts in the mind of the surgeons as to how the accident happened. After 5 extensive surgeries, a few minor procedures, years of physio and abject dedication to rehabilitation, I was able to walk unaided by 2010. Oxycodone saw me through those painful years, and to give credit where credit is due, I don't think I'd have recovered without them. I wouldn't have been able to endure the painful healing and rehabilitation process. However, I also very much appreciated the other "benefits" of oxy. I was virtually stress free for the first time in my life and everything seemed perfect and right with the world. As everyone who has ever called oxy their friend or happy pill knows, the party doesn't last. As I needed them less and less for pain, I craved them more and more to maintain that bubble of happy. So now I am in the present, 2013. I've managed to keep my addiction hidden from my husband and doctor. Though my doctor will still prescribe the pills for me, questioning each time why I need them, his prescriptions aren't enough. I've resorted to stealing entire 100 pills per bottle quantities from my husband who has suffered a terrible back injury from a logging accident. Unbeknownst to him, each time he gets a new prescription, I replace his pills with aspirin of a similar size and appearance. He has yet to notice that those pills don't have the markings of oxy on them. His only comment is that he can't see why anyone thinks oxys are great because they don't do much for him. How devious and conniving I've stooped to being. .
I have a fantastic job starting on November 18th. I should have thought about getting oxy-free before now. It's the job I've been working towards for years and I'm scared that on the oxy's I won't have the powers of concentration and attention to detail that I will certainly need to succeed in the position.
So here I am.... day 1 without Oxycodone. I could just go ahead and give up now, go have a pill and give up almost before i started, or I can see this through. My husband thinks I am coming down with something.... my cover story... the hours and days ahead will tell the tale of how far down I am going to come. It's unfortunate that I've put myself in a place where I have to come clean without really coming clean. I am hoping that I can just weather this storm and no one but I will be the wiser.
At this moment I am feeling less that OK, tired, restless and really angry with myself.
All the best to all of you!
Very good advice given above. I got off oxy 4 months ago. Be prepared to not feel ok for awhile. I did ct, could not taper.
Physical discomfort lasts about a week. Then lethargy and being unmotivated follows. Normal sleep and energy takes several months, but when it returns, you will say, "Wow it is so worth it to finally be free, full of energy, and sleeping again!!"
Everybody is a little different with the timeline, and I truly mean to encourage you, not discourage. Some folks get into this process for a month or two and give up and return to pills because they dont feel Great.
Think about how many months (years) we have been dosing ourselves with oxy or other opiates. It is not reasonable to expect a complete reversal in several weeks. Just be patient. That clean wonderful life is there at the end of the rainbow for all of us if we truly want it and do everything possible to get there...one day at a time...baby steps if needed.
When you are feeling low, just focus on the goal, stay strong, keep coming back to the Forum here-very loving, experienced people here. They are a lifesaver for me.
Physical discomfort lasts about a week. Then lethargy and being unmotivated follows. Normal sleep and energy takes several months, but when it returns, you will say, "Wow it is so worth it to finally be free, full of energy, and sleeping again!!"
Everybody is a little different with the timeline, and I truly mean to encourage you, not discourage. Some folks get into this process for a month or two and give up and return to pills because they dont feel Great.
Think about how many months (years) we have been dosing ourselves with oxy or other opiates. It is not reasonable to expect a complete reversal in several weeks. Just be patient. That clean wonderful life is there at the end of the rainbow for all of us if we truly want it and do everything possible to get there...one day at a time...baby steps if needed.
When you are feeling low, just focus on the goal, stay strong, keep coming back to the Forum here-very loving, experienced people here. They are a lifesaver for me.
Just tough it out. Tramadol is not a good alternative. It is worse than regular opiates. Trust me, I thought the same and struggled with trams for 2 years... I was told it was a good option for me with my history of opiate addiction. This is not going to be easy and you will be uncomfortable. There is no way out of this... only through and using trams will only delay your healing and possibly make it worse. You will need the support of your husband if you truly want to be successful. You can't keep this a secret ...for your success and his safety.
Welcome! I'm proud of you going up against this demon. It's hard but so worth it. Honestly it gets worse before it gets better, hang on and know this is the biggest gift you can give yourself.... a clean life!!! Take vitamins, drink LOTS of water. U mite want to get some Imodium for when you have tummy trouble. Warm baths can help too with pain and RLS. Keep posting and you will get ideas for help with symptoms and most importantly you will get support. I hope when you feel comfortable, you are able to tell your husband. I know that can be difficult, but you are going to need the support he can give you. I will pray that the conversation goes well and you get what you need.
Hi and Welcome to our little community. I really like the way you write and come across. I just wanted to tell you that we have a Emily Post here. It has tons of people who have been very Addicted to the Trams and it is a very synthetic med just like the Methadone (I used) and also Subs..They are the type of drugs that do not like to let go. Tramadol is a u-opioid receptor agonist. It is also a serotonin releaser and a reuptake inhibitor of nor-epinephrine. Therefore it is like coming off of 2 meds which is no fun..Believe me I did 3 meds c/t about a little over a year ago..So if I were you, I would just leave the drugs alone. It takes time for all the Chems and etc,etc, to Balance back from the removal of these Substances. Just have patience and know that Time will be the Greatest Healer in Detox. Keep drinking lots of water and make sure you try to get some Electrolyte and Protein powder. Just keep taking your vit/mins too. We must replenish this all back in the Body after we have used. So just keep stepping forward and do not look back..If you feel achy after you take your Epsom salt bath, get under a Electric Blanket for pain..It works wonders.
Bless
Bless
Congrats on day 1!! I hope you're not trading one addiction with another with taking tramadol. Plz be careful. Post your symptoms on here we will help ease the discomfort with suggestions. Days 4-6 were hard on me, so I hope you will be ok at your new job.
Oh yea, try not to take any caffeine, it causes major anxiety n no sleep
Buy some melatonin for sleep, and get some Epsom salts for the baths
Oh yea, try not to take any caffeine, it causes major anxiety n no sleep
Buy some melatonin for sleep, and get some Epsom salts for the baths
So Day 1 is drawing to a conclusion I don't like. I chickened out on coming clean to my husband and chalked up my lethargy to coming down with something. Also, though I have not touched any of the OXY stash, I have just popped half a Tramadol pill which is probably not the best of ideas. A friend of mine who successfully beat a bigger addiction to Oxy than I gave me a handful of Tramadol, just in case. She claims that they helped her during the worst moments of withdrawal and she's never touched either the Tramadol prescription she had or Oxy again. She claims that she took half a Tramadol every few hours until day 4 and then didn't need them anymore. I've also read that Tramadol can also be very addictive.
I am almost 24 hours (feels like years) without OC and am not liking the feeling. I am determined to stop because I don't need them for physical pain any longer and I've been lying to myself. I want to be free from a life lived between pills.
Anyone have any thoughts about how harmful or beneficial Tramadol might be?
I am almost 24 hours (feels like years) without OC and am not liking the feeling. I am determined to stop because I don't need them for physical pain any longer and I've been lying to myself. I want to be free from a life lived between pills.
Anyone have any thoughts about how harmful or beneficial Tramadol might be?
That's all I did the first few days. I lived in my tub. I couldn't even read a book, I could listen to tv or movie, but couldn't focus or concentrate. I could not tell you what I watched going through it.
Glad you are going to tell your husband. Maybe he doesn't even need the Oxys, it seems he's been doing fine without them. I can only imagine how hard it will be for you if he has them. If he does need them maybe he can keep them at work; if you know they are there, you will drive yourself crazy. I know I would be crazy and I'd tear apart the whole house trying to find them.
I hope your talk with him goes well, sendings prayers and hugs.
Glad you are going to tell your husband. Maybe he doesn't even need the Oxys, it seems he's been doing fine without them. I can only imagine how hard it will be for you if he has them. If he does need them maybe he can keep them at work; if you know they are there, you will drive yourself crazy. I know I would be crazy and I'd tear apart the whole house trying to find them.
I hope your talk with him goes well, sendings prayers and hugs.
OK.. thanks for that... at least I know that it is at least possible to work while going through this. I will just have to use the "I am new and confused" card for a bit maybe??? Anyways, it's still a few days away and I am more worried about today and tomorrow. I have a good book and a couple of movies to entertain myself with... but so far I'm not motivated to do anything other than sit in the tub and lay in bed. Still feeling OK and waiting for the shoe to drop. Husband just called and wants to know if I'd like to go on a bit of a road trip before I start my new job.... bwaaahhhaaa... NO. I will definitely have to fill him in when he gets home tonight.
Awesome Mook! I am so proud of you. Yes we as are very selfish indeed...but WE don't have to be anymore. This will be tough for sure but you can and will do this. Keep posting, be patient with the process, and just remember all the reasons why you are doing this.
I told my doctor to cut me off this time and it was the only thing that got me through the really weak moments. I would suggest doing this for sure.
I could not do this on my own, I tried a gazillion times and always ended up failing. So I knew I had to do things differently this time.
My favorite sayings recently are:
"Nothing changes if nothing changes"
and
"Your mind is like a bad neighborhood... you don't want to go in there alone." in other words be honest and keep sharing... we are as sick as our secrets.
Gobbles
I told my doctor to cut me off this time and it was the only thing that got me through the really weak moments. I would suggest doing this for sure.
I could not do this on my own, I tried a gazillion times and always ended up failing. So I knew I had to do things differently this time.
My favorite sayings recently are:
"Nothing changes if nothing changes"
and
"Your mind is like a bad neighborhood... you don't want to go in there alone." in other words be honest and keep sharing... we are as sick as our secrets.
Gobbles
I could never taper either; that's why I went CT. Everybody is different with how their bodies process the WD, but I took the first 2 days off of work and was able to work after that- just barely, but I did it. In some ways I wish I had taken more time off, but I also think it was good to force me to keep moving and keep my mind occupied. My head is a dangerous place to be. We are all here with you; we know the stuggle. So glad you are here and want to take your life back. I'm so mad that I let pills control and consume me for so long; they robbed me of precious time with my daughter. I was totally isolating and never wanted to do anything but take pills.
As Goblin mentioned on his post I have to come clean and honest.... I see that now. Thanks for your input... it seems to be the most common thread.
I have been taking about 60 mgs per day of oxycodone..... that's 3 10 mgs of my own plus 3 10 mgs of my husbands. The thing is, they barely do anything for me anymore other than to keep me from falling apart completely.
Yes, I realize after reading all of the information posted by others that I have left the quitting a little late before starting a new job... but I was trapped in the I will quit tomorrow line of thinking for at least a week. I will just have to take my lumps and soldier on through. I've tried doing the taper thing and to be honest, I always wind up taking more than I did before the taper. After reading what others have gone through, I think cold turkey is best for me.
Thanks so much for your words of advice.
I have been taking about 60 mgs per day of oxycodone..... that's 3 10 mgs of my own plus 3 10 mgs of my husbands. The thing is, they barely do anything for me anymore other than to keep me from falling apart completely.
Yes, I realize after reading all of the information posted by others that I have left the quitting a little late before starting a new job... but I was trapped in the I will quit tomorrow line of thinking for at least a week. I will just have to take my lumps and soldier on through. I've tried doing the taper thing and to be honest, I always wind up taking more than I did before the taper. After reading what others have gone through, I think cold turkey is best for me.
Thanks so much for your words of advice.
You have a point, Goblin, as does everyone else. I had not considered that my dishonesty could potentially create an overdose situation for my husband. Selfish, selfish, selfish. I appreciate that invaluable point. Tonight, I will tell him. It is going to be unbearably embarrassing and humbling. He's always viewed me as the strong and smart one who has her sh** together. Guess I had him fooled..... and myself.
As the day progresses, I've taken the cocktail of vitamins and amino acids as suggested by the "Thomas Recipe". I do not have Xanax or any of the Benzo type things mentioned by others. So far, I just wish I could sleep for the next 4 or 5 days and wake up finding it's behind me.
As the day progresses, I've taken the cocktail of vitamins and amino acids as suggested by the "Thomas Recipe". I do not have Xanax or any of the Benzo type things mentioned by others. So far, I just wish I could sleep for the next 4 or 5 days and wake up finding it's behind me.
Welcome, You are taking a great step that requires so much strength just to admit you have a problem. Congrats and you should be proud of yourself. That being said. Your husband may be at danger. If you continue through this process and no longer steal his pills he is at danger of overdosing. Say he was taking 2-3 of his pills (that were actually aspirin), and now he begins actually taking the oxy... he'd be in trouble. If he was driving, working, etc... I would strongly recommend getting honest with him.
Honesty with my loved ones was the best, most rewarding thing I did to begin my recovery. I was shocked that my family was so supportive.
Congrats on day one. Keep posting and taking care of yourself one minute at a time.
Honesty with my loved ones was the best, most rewarding thing I did to begin my recovery. I was shocked that my family was so supportive.
Congrats on day one. Keep posting and taking care of yourself one minute at a time.
Welcome and congrats on the new job and desire to get clean.
Sonrissa gave you some great advice and I agree with her completely. You have to be honest and cut your sources. I quit opiates in March and didn't close the door with my dr., and I didn't make it more than a couple of weeks before I was back on. You have to shut the door so you no longer have options.
Keep posting and sharing any symptoms and people will give you great advice. This forum is awesome; everyone is so supportive, kind, and caring. You have come to the right place.
Good luck on your journey towards freedom!!
Sonrissa gave you some great advice and I agree with her completely. You have to be honest and cut your sources. I quit opiates in March and didn't close the door with my dr., and I didn't make it more than a couple of weeks before I was back on. You have to shut the door so you no longer have options.
Keep posting and sharing any symptoms and people will give you great advice. This forum is awesome; everyone is so supportive, kind, and caring. You have come to the right place.
Good luck on your journey towards freedom!!
Hi Mook, and welcome to the forum. You will find lots of advice and support here. First, a question. How much Oxycodone have you been taking per day? That information will help determine how severe and long the withdrawal symptoms will be. I'm concerned because you say your new job will start on the 18th, and that will put you on about day 4 or 5 in withdrawals. I also used to take Oxycodone, and I found that for me, the worst days were 3 through 5.
The best advice I can give you is to be honest with your doctor, and your husband. It is going to be extremely difficult to go through this process with your husbands pills in the house. When things get bad, I can pretty much guarantee that you will run not walk to his pills. Perhaps, since you are starting this new job, you might want to consider a taper off of the pills. That is why it is critical to talk to your doctor and be totally honest about your addiction. He should be able to understand and help you with a taper plan. Also, you will really need the support of your husband and others. If you are really committed to quitting, being honest is key. You must cut your sources for pills, or as I said that when times get difficult, it will be way to easy to get access to pills. I speak from experience. You should also check out some meetings for support such as NA or AA. That will really help keep you on track.
I wish you all the best. Know that you can get through this and be free. It will take hard work, but so worth it in the end. Others will weigh in with additional advice and support. Please keep posting with any questions. Take care!
The best advice I can give you is to be honest with your doctor, and your husband. It is going to be extremely difficult to go through this process with your husbands pills in the house. When things get bad, I can pretty much guarantee that you will run not walk to his pills. Perhaps, since you are starting this new job, you might want to consider a taper off of the pills. That is why it is critical to talk to your doctor and be totally honest about your addiction. He should be able to understand and help you with a taper plan. Also, you will really need the support of your husband and others. If you are really committed to quitting, being honest is key. You must cut your sources for pills, or as I said that when times get difficult, it will be way to easy to get access to pills. I speak from experience. You should also check out some meetings for support such as NA or AA. That will really help keep you on track.
I wish you all the best. Know that you can get through this and be free. It will take hard work, but so worth it in the end. Others will weigh in with additional advice and support. Please keep posting with any questions. Take care!
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