Day 10

[desertgirl]

Hello everyone, I hope all are having a decent day! I am very proud of myself to have made it this far. I have been forcing myself to get up everyday and get out of the house. Today I am completely burnt. I am soooo tired of having the bone chillin sweats. I have lost 15 pounds already. When will it end???? I just want to get back to work!

[ohsnap]

I have followed your story for quite a while, and I just wanted to say congratulations!  Yours was one of the "crazier" stories I had encountered, and I once again, I wanted to give you kudos, because you have been so strong!  I hope it continues for you...

[Whenwillitend]

10 days - thats a long period of time to heal. I imagine you should get better any day now.

How are you otherwise (besides the sweats)? Also - are you having energy/motivation problems, is that's what you mean by dragging yourself out of bed?

In any case, I hope you feel better real soon hon - you deserve it for working so hard for it! :)

[desertgirl]

lol, thanks for following my "story" did not mean for it to get so crazy, was just never strong enough to go thru the w/d's that is why I kept taking more and more pills. Yes I have energy, just a little sore when I wake up, but it goes away after a lil while. I am feeling great besides the cold sweats. My mind has never been so clear.

[Whenwillitend]

((was just never strong enough to go thru the w/d's that is why I kept taking more and more pills))

ding ding ding -- That's my biggest problem -- well, I've made it through the physical and mental depression parts many times - it's the cravings that seem to always start around day 12 or so that keeps clawing me back into the depths of hydro-hell.

[desertgirl]

are you still on the pills or going thru the w/ds?

[Whenwillitend]

Day 4 (again) CT. However I burned every bridge I had - no surprise one's either.

Sadlly - I went to a wedding about a week and a half ago - one guy was talking about he had percs he was gonna give to anyone that wanted - I wanted to say "me, me, me" - but then someone else said "Hey, why don't you give them to Whenwillitend, pain meds are his drug of choice".

I was very upset - 1, I didn't need that announced - 2, I didn't need the 'help'. Anyway, everyone was looking over at me and I stated that I was done taking pills, that I came too close to killing myself accidently (not really true) a couple times and I was done for good.

I figured by mentioning I almost killed myself, that would be enough to scare ANYONE away from wanting to give me anything.

I'm kind of proud I was able to come up with a good one like that on the spot. heh

[desertgirl]

yeah that is pretty good, good for you, i was done with the high from the pills a long time ago, I am on day 10 so I am curious as to how I will feel on day 12, hope it's not a hard day. Your doing well, just take it one day at a time, you have been thru this before. I have never made it this far before, lol.

[Whenwillitend]

*nods* I recall you from a few months back -- you kind of disappeared for awhile, and I had wondered where you went. Then I got enough pills to last 2 months (300, then 360 the next), and I disappeared from the boards too.

For me, it was because I was too embarassed to admit to everyone here I was taking again. Considering, people only know me by a screen name, that's a bit silly.

Anyway being back means I'm trying to recover again -- this board is great - and I'm sure you'll be feeling much better in just 2 days -- I can't wait just to be at 10 myself. :)

Keep on going - you're doing fantastic!

[desertgirl]

Thank you, and you are too, I hope that you made it past day 12 this time, like your screen name but, this time it will end : )