Day 13.5 "Facts and Truth's of Detox"

[justneedtotalk]

Hello everyone!  I am happy to say I am 13.5 days sober!  It seems like it has been a couple of months already but the memory of using seems to be fading away!  I am still feeling the effects of my cold which blows but underneath the cold symptoms I can feel my body repairing itself.  

I wanted to take a few minutes to talk about facts or truth's.  I went back and read some of my old posts from months and years ago and also have been reading a lot of other posts.  I find myself adopting a cold attitude towards pill use.....Let me explain, I read through a bunch of my previous posts and it seemed like I was trying to wish or hope myself into feeling better.....The truth of detox is simple.....You ARE going to feel crummy for a few weeks.....You are going to crave......You are going to be tempted to use again......We are addicted.....We HAVE to work on our disease for the rest of our lives.....We have to stick together to make this happen!  No matter what you say or do if you want to completely stop using narcotic pain relievers then you have to take it seriously and put in as much effort in staying sober as we all did staying high.  I think the faster you except the fact that you WILL feel crummy for a while and you can NEVER use pain relievers again!  The faster you accept that you HAVE to face detox the faster you can start putting healthy stuff into your body to help your brain repair faster.  This has been a crazy ride so far......A lot of what keeps me going is the thought that we all are going through one of the worst experience that a person can go through and if we/me are successful then we can truly chaulk this up to a life victory.....Not everyone can do this but the ones that have powered through and are still sober are the true heroes.....I relapsed all of those times because I was weak and did not want to face life sober or face the pain of withdrawal.  Once you get past the first couple of weeks you then have to face REAL life!  I actually had a small panic attack yesterday when I though about a few parking tickets I had neglected to pay and when high did not think they were worthy of attention......Small situations like this is stressful and usually I would just pop a few pills and forget about it!  All of these triggers are dangerous but this is where this site and aftercare really pays off.....I do not think the hard part of detox is the actual withdrawal......it is staying sober after you start feeling better.  We all long for that euphoric feeling or that comfortable fog that the pills offered and when living sober you do not get that instant high feeling.....You have to create those natural high moments yourself.....A lot of people complain about energy....I think that once you get sober you still need to exercise and eat right.....Many people do not get what they think is a decent energy level back because they did not put in the extra effort to get the rest of their body healthy along the way.  The pills allowed me to live outside the reality of real life so adjusting back to normal is more than getting past the detox symptoms in my mind.....Well, I apologize if this was a little deep or windy but I just wanted to post a little about the reality of detox and living sober from my short experience so far.....I think I am going to take another half day off and nurse my cold.....I really hate the fact that I am sick, I have been sick for two weeks (detox) and do not deserve this feeling because I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.....At least I am sober and going strong!  Tomorrow will be two week.......FANTASTIC!!!!!

[wasskyhigh]

ahhhh a true hiphop fan. RA THE RUGGED MAN thats ******* fire. and as for infinite eminem, yes i love his grimey ****.. Rza is doing big things for me as well... everytime i get ancy... i pop on a track and bug out to it.  u know all to well...  good call on the sublime .

[JephWyte]

Yo by the way man. Music is *Gold for my dome* I know what you mean. I can be depressed at work, throw the headphones on, and then I'm in my own world writting lyrics and gettin ready to record. I've been heavy into spittin my own rhymes lately and it's something I really wanna persue once I'm totally clean. Love the old Eminem (ever heard his 1st album Infinite?) Tonedeff, Atmosphere, Snowgoons, Mos Def, RA the Rugged Man, M-Dot, old school and underground are the sh*t. But for feel good music, I love incubus and sublime :p

[JephWyte]

Justneedtotalk: I understand 100% what you're saying about kickin the subs asap or it'll just get worse over time. However, I've read that performing a long gradual detox will help bypass the bulk of the intense wd symptoms and send you into the PAWS sooner (PAWS are still hell and will last for months no matter what you do).

I went to GNC and picked up a lot of stuff from the Thomas recipe and also a few other things. I told the dude working behind the counter my exact situation and asked if he had any advice, after explaining many of the withdrawl symptoms he made a few suggestions. Btw, one of my biggest obstacles in getting through wd's is the depression and anxiety, when my body is tired I can force myself to skateboard/play basketball/ and just MOVE. However, when I'm depressed, I'm a complete lazy mess. I picked up some St. John Wort and heard this works well for mood. And also grabbed L-Tyrosene and vitamin B12 to help with energy. Does anyone else have any suggestions for anxiety and depression?

wasskyhigh: Im 22 at the moment man, but yeah I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. As far as the herb goes, I haven't blaised up any weed in over a year. I was a 24hr a day stoner for years then just decided I hated the paranoia from smokin weed. Although I don't blaise, I'm still fairly pro marijuana and I do believe it can be very helpful/beneficial.. just not for me :) But congrats on coming off the methadone and subs, this **** just gets discouraging and can make you feel like you failed before you even starte trying. But I don't allow myself to dwell on those thoughts, I just identify them as they come and focus on things that keep me positive (like thinking about what I want to accomplish in my future) I know I have the ability to be successful and I need to get clean before I can show this world what I have to offer. Thank you all for listening. And again, any input on anything to help with my anxiety/depression would be appreciated.
    Stay stong everybody!! God bless you all,
                 -Jeff

[wasskyhigh]

whats good homie? i am 24 yrs old and was on the tang (methadone) for the past 5 yrs. I hopped on methadone for all the wrong reasons at only 19. They started testing for marijuana, which for me is a daily ritual. This however, was the biggest blessing in disguise for me. It was a reason for me to leave. Life was going good and stable, same ol same ol. You know that feeling after awile on the clinic. To try to make a long story short... My last dose at the tang shop was march 8, 2011. I started on a suboxen detox i got from some quack in the city. He initially wanted me on a high dose, but thank god i knew better from some old heads i knew. I started out on 2 am, 2pm. This held me up fine, working and everything, besides the anxiety of when your off everything (I KNOW). I then started cutting them down peice by peice till i was at .5 , .25 crumbles. The addict in me would have kept taking these little orange crumbles till the day i died. I am on day 4 of absolutley nothing, besides medicinal grade marijuana. the first two days are just as bad as any other opiate withdrawal, not gonna lie. As drug addicted men, this is the price we pay! I felt everything you already know about withdrawal homie, so no need to tell you the syptoms. Let me also tell you guys... In the matter of this whole getting it together time in my life, i also had to tell my girl of 6 years to beat the street as she was lying about perscription pills to me.  FAMILY, FRIENDS and YOUR OWN WILL POWER + good bud... speaking for my self only. Marijuana is closely associated with bringing ease to pain. The cannoboids slow the process of "Hurting" down. Alot may look on my post and be like psshhh shut up. But what i am telling you is no lie, and i refuse to lie about somthing that is hellping me that could possibly help someone else. Again I am no body to listen to, just take what i told you and put your own twist, it doesnt have to be marijuana. Another big thing is i dont eat red meat and 99% of the time i eat organically. So yo jeph... you can do this my dude. I think it said your 25, well im 24, same ****** boat, i know i am makin it back to shore, what about you?
-one more thing GOOD MUSIC is a must need... i am a true hip hop head but latley ive been bumping some neil young an ****... that feel good music

thanks for reading.

[justneedtotalk]

The latest detox is off of a significant Hydro habit but I recently (6 mo ago) detoxed off of Methadone.  I personally think if you are tapering off of Suboxone you should continue or end the taper as soon as possible.....The longer you are on Methadone and Suboxone the harder and LONGER your detox will be!  Trust me, you do not want to linger around either for very long.....Dr.'s love to get people on maintenance drugs but cold turkey or rapid detox is the only way.....It is going to be tough man but just heed my warning.....The longer you are are on Suboxone the longer your inevitable withdrawals will be....I am here for you if you have any questions or concerns.....Good luck man!  God bless!

[JephWyte]

Congrats on accomplishing the better part of two weeks! :) I'm slooowly tapering off subs and am only on the better part of two days. Slight chills but as long as I don't let myself get super anxiety or depressed I do alright (the depressions inevitable with me, it's a matter of how long I allow myself to dwell on it). I am curious though, what exactly are you dt'ing off of? Is is a SAO or are you coming off a maintenence drug? I get terrified of the long effects of wd's from subs and methadone, but if your post is this optimistic after only 13.5 days, than you are truly an inspiration for me to push one more day. And if not, you still deserve all the credit in the world.
  Thank you and God bless
         -Jeff

[justneedtotalk]

Well.....My big source just called and said that he still had the 100 hydro's and to come get them.....I told that MF that I was done but I really layed into him about calling me...I doubt he will call me again after the conversation that we just had.....I will admit I thought about it for a half a second but I quickly turned back to my "Happy Place", plus there is no way that a few days of highness is worth having to go through this again.....I WILL NOT USE!!!!  It just goes to show you that you need to keep your guard up at all times.....Every time I am challenged by temptation I always go directly to my "Happy Place" in my mind so I do not even allow temptation to fester.....Well, I just wanted to vent really quickly and say F those pills.....and F my associate for calling me!  

[GMcp]

that was inspiring and you are doing so good, be proud of yourself :D  

[worried878]

Congrats!
U r doing great...but please keep one eye on your back at all times....if u feel weak, and hopefully u never will, be sure to get support
keep moving forward!

[justneedtotalk]

Thanks again!  I live in Washington State on the east side of the mountains and it is actually suppose to be sunny and 70 so maybe sitting out in the sun will help with a little natural Vitamin D.  Have a great day......

[Greatgreebo]

You too, brother. Hang in there and whine all you want. Head colds blow and I am the first one to whine like a little baby when I have one......get your honey to baby you and just embrace being sick....this too shall pass
you take care and thanks for thinking of me. I'd bring ya' some chicken noodle soup if I lived closer!

you hang in there too
Greebs

[justneedtotalk]

Thanks.....I just think that because I am sick my sensitivity levels are a little low.  I read a lot of posts and even though I am going through the same thing I get a little frustrated because I see people trying to negotiate with this disease.....It is VERY SIMPLE....DO NOT USE!!!!  Everything else can be dealt with......You are doing Great too!  I am very proud of you and look forward to talking with you!  I really hope we can stick this out together and in 6 months look back at our posts and laugh.  

I am glad that the post actually made sence and PLEASE.....Do not give up....I need people like you to go through this with me and I NEVER LEAVE A MAN BEHIND.....I hope you have a great day today and hang in there!

[Greatgreebo]

You are a rock man!!! Keep going forward! We can do this. It's hard-but doable. I really like your post.....You are so right about everything. Don't apologize for getting 'deep'... it's exactly what I needed to hear right now. Your  post will help me make it through today....
Don't worry about being sick....this too shall pass

Stay strong and keep posting.
Greebs