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Ok so 2 complete weeks post cold turkey heroin and pills withdrawl (withdrawal) update.
Fist of all this was a BRUTAL task especially the first week and really especially the first 4-5 days. Just horrific.
But after day 14, lingering symptoms:
Tiredness - I can't stay up past 11:00 no matter how hard I try my body just shuts down. And throughout the day there is exhaustion spells. But it's less and less each day.
Sleep - using sleep aids on and off and I can sleep through most of the night now but it's usually broken sleep.
Still sneezing but maybe not as much
Still have stomach issues just not as bad as the first week. But they are stil there no doubt.
Body temp is still a little out of wack but no where near the burning on fire skin I had the first week.
Still irritable. A little less each day but still there.
Still some cobwebs upstairs but that has cleared way up.
Ok the improvements:
Since day 13 the strength is coming back in my legs and body. I can now walk a decent distance without wanting to fall over after taking 5 steps.
No more maddening racing thoughts.
No more body burning
I can smell into the future, the smell of food makes me insane hungry now.
Music is great again
Sex is great again
I laugh CONSTANTLY. I am always cracking myself up...even if I am the only one laughing :/
My COLOR is insane! I looked like I have laid out in the sun for like a week! Before I was just like this grey/ghostly color. I am normally tan tinged just becUse of my natural color but that was all gone I was pale as death. Not anymore :)
My appetite: this could be placed in the good AND bad category. I AM RAVENOUS...ALL THE TIME!
Here is what happens when I get hungry:
I get hungry and I know I am about to go eat, the closer I know the food is getting my body and brain just flips out! I'm telling you it is EXACTLY like after I had gone a good loooong time without and heroin and I started feening. I feel that exact same out of control need to HAVE IT! (withoutt the sweats and cramps and most physical stuff of course) but the CRAVING and out of control need to have it are the same of not STRONGER now. I shake when I eat then I dig in and cannot stop until I cannot move! I know this has been counter productive because I loose all energy after this for like hours until its digested. And then I'm in the bathroom 4-5 times a day. But I really can't control this right now. I'm going to have to next week cause I'm back to work tomorrow and I cannot be crashing like this at work. Not sure how I am going to manage this but I'm going to have to start trying something I guess. It's just so overwhelming. I guess my brain is still SCREAMING for pleasure and right now it wants FOOD! And it is NOT communicating with my body to tell it it's full. Maybe that has to do with the fact that I ate very little the past 4-5 years. Almost never overrate while using and never had an apetite. This part of my brain is rebounding in a huge way.
Other than that the other benefits are my family really notices a huge difference in me like I am human again. They love it.
I get to keep ALL the money I earn, I am no longer giving it all to dealers making them rich. Now I'm giving it to restaurants and supermarkets lol.
No longer have to be constantly thinking about where my next fix is and when gonna run out and where am I gonna get money for it and how far I have to drive for it and feeling terrible about the thousands just flying out of my pocket and all the loans i had to get. All of that is gone. Now I just have to dig myself out of this debt mess. But at least I'm not creating more of a mess and adding to it. I'm no longer putting myself at risk or my family. I no longer feel terrible when handing over 5-6 hundred dollars every week, looking for stuff to sell and FEARING WITHDRAWL (withdrawal). I don't have to feat fear WD anymore because its DONE (well the worse of it anyway)
I can get back on with life now with new eyes. Hopefully i will continue to look at things like i see them now. I am doing some aftercare and will be doing more. Now I am seeing a therapist and will be doing meetings soon. I also starting to excercise again just walking now but plan on lifting and running again within a few weeks. I'm going to have to if I keep eating like this anyway :)
Anyway that's about it. I feel human again. I feel like a real person than maybe got hit by a bus a few weeks ago and am just getting my strength back now. It's been a foook of a ride and one I will never be taking again if I can help it. Which I can, so I WON'T!
WOT is supposed to post her progress also she is my kicking buddy and fellow zombie. Hopefully she shows up :)
And thanks for everyone who helped me through the worse of it. It truly was horrible and all the support helped. But even though it was bad I'm telling everyone it can be done. No suboxone. No inpatient. Just rode that betch out in my own home in my bedroom mostly the first few days but its done and I'm on the other side now. It can be done. :)
My friend Motown!! It's so great to see that gratitude list of yours! It by far outweighs the first part of your post. So easy to tell that You are truly grateful for your new drug free life. You'll find the first part of your list getting shorter and shorter and the 2nd part getting longer each new day. Isn't it amazing? Every day we try to do at least one positive action for our recovery. That list of yours is a classic example of a positive action. Congratulations on your clean time! -Robert (Motown #2)
Congrats on getting back to normal life ! This is so wicked to hear! I have tried going cold turkey from h with no success many times! u should feel very strong for your success !!! I'm glad to hear u sound very positive , and it will keep getting better for u, instead of blowing money u will now be able to get that electronic drum set or new rims for your car , over time everything will come together!! I'm sure u have been through a day of work without your daily fix before , stay positive do your best at work and it will help finish off the lingering effects u still have!! truly glad to hear your back , back2me , u have lived up to your name!!!
great job buddy. Keep it up. I did the at home thing but the next time I just went to inpatient because it is so much easier and once your in,there really isn't much else to worry about. Plus I had no and I mean,not just people living with me who I did not want to tell or whatever but truly no support money,other person,food,gas, drink or anything the one time,truly all alone. I did not want to go through that again and that was exactly what I was facing so I called and drove to treatment with my remaining few ounces of fuel.
Don't ever go back and watch out for those "friends" and if you work with junkies like I do the only thing you can do is avoid them too. You have done an awesome job and I am glad you made it. :)
That's a really good thing! I've found the last time I was clean for 7 years and this start I've made , setting goals to achieve are a great way to stay clear of the addiction ways off life!! last time a saved up for 2 years bought myself an almost brand new gsxr750 and had some of the best years of my life!! I'm now saving to get my bike back I sold for drugs! I really hope u practice up and find a band to play in! as a musician myself I know , a good drummer has many options! Keep up the healthy choices your making!!!
Congrats on your clean time!! You have fought hard for this and the rewards are finally paying off. As for the eating thing, i remember that and all the bathroom trips afterwards. This will go away! Our body went thru hell and back so it takes time for our innerds to get back to working the way it should. Always keep your guard up!
Ok, I'm here!! Zombie crew all accounted for. I am definitely a zombie today....because of the nature if what I'm coming off of, I definitely still have bouts of burning skin. And couldn't sleep last night.
HOWEVER....I do feel better. I find myself laughing too. Laughing, crying.....it's great to FEEL.
I'm tired and irritable too, but I just keep pushing through. I'm focusing a LOT on my kids....and I keep thinking....I made it this far, and it's totally worth it.
I'm proud of everyone here, and happy to be part if this online community....and, "the hardest part is over...."
One thing I find interesting is that I am NOT hungry yet. I have to force myself to eat EVERY time. What I have become "addicted" to in lieu is walking. I would walk all day every day if I could. Weird....
Most addicts are malnourished, I think eating until exhausted is good at first. Hope you are eating foods rich in vit/min/amino acids. Healing takes a lot of nutrition and the fake energy of opiates often replaces good food in active addition. Congrats on two weeks, you are doing it, what an inspiration. Stay focused and experience the miracles of life.
Congrats! I am so proud of you and you have so much to be to be proud of. I understand the feeling almost normal :). My energy is low, coming slowing..sleep too. I developed an ulcer from the Aleve I took during w/ds. So I am in some pain, but when it is healed I will be ready to go!!! I am trying to eat, no appetite yet...I am sure your eating will slow down as your body heals. I am rooting for you!!!
You have been lot of help on here brother, I also sold a crotch rocket because of my drug use :(((((
Now that it's nice out I really want another one!
But I have to tell you man the little I know about your story I have to say as far as my addiction goes your story is seriously my WORSE nightmare! Clean for 7 years then relapsing. I guess relapsing at ANY time frame is my worse nightmare but man having all of those years under your belt and then snapping, the thought of that is doing really crazy things with my brain. Questions like does ANYONE EVER BEAT THIS SHET!? I mean really beat it? Do we all have another relapse coming? Are we at the mercy of this? I really cannot imagine having to do this again. I really think I will not make it through another active drug use and withdrawl (withdrawal). I just don't have it in me. This HAS to be it for me. I may not look like it but I'm no spring chicken, ( you all don't know that but I look about 10 years younger than I am) but I'm old enough to know that my body really cannot take much more of these withdrawls. And my brain certainly cannot. I guess I would like to know how some of you long timers got bit after being clean for a long time. What happened? Is there anyway to prevent this really? I guess I need to know that there are people with 10-20 years who have NEVER EVER went back. Because that seriously has got to be me or it will be the end of me.
I felt kinda the same way after going through addiction starting at 15 and not getting life back till 22 !! I lost alot of years , collage , had to give up so many friends !! but starting a new life at 22 I was very happy had lots of biker buddies play , regular group of golf buddies I played with everyday!! I work a midshift a kept very busy with everything!! my down fall was when I feel in love with my wife! She is alot younger and hadn't been through addiction really! She suffers from a mental illness borderline personally disorder! So part of that she can't handle being alone so slowly I lost my golf mornings long adradaline rush bike rides and everything else keeping me busy! My life changed to taking care of her! When we had 2 kids it's got worse, she would hide my keys so I couldn't go to work and could never handle watching my 2 boys alone! This was the major downfall struggling with money since a had lost many jobs from this , I used all my old connections started growing weed selling h , even though for awhile I kept clean and money wasn't a problem , it was to much the high life I new to much and me and my wife started dabbling with oxyies which of Corce grew to h till I was back IV every morning to have energy to watch my boys and keep my illegal business going, my story is a sad one , cops finally got a warrant and arrested both me and my wife ! I lost custody of my kids for 6 month and cleaned up to get them back! So did my wife but she always will have the mental illness ! Being separated I have both boys and have watch them mostly though all these detoxing days except a week my parents took them for me! I very proud I have made it this far!! I think u have more or less a straight edge wife! My situation was not the normal, but I think the key to never going through a second round like I did is seeing the supports break down and looking for help before it does!!
Yes you're probably malnourished. Try two things: Fruit smoothies like Bolthouse Farm or Odwalla that have lots of micronutrients added. I drank an entire quart of Bolthouse Farms Green Goddess in one sitting early in withdrawals. I'm still drinking it daily. Two: and I can't stress this enough...PROTEIN SHAKES...either Ensure-type stuff or from the supplement aisle at Walmart. If you have food stamps, some of the ones from the supplement aisle are covered. Six Star brand is. If possible, buy acidophilis milk for the probiotics to mix in your shakes but only drink that if a bathroom is an option within the hour. You may or may not experience temporary issues as your intestines get lined with good bugs again. Your body needs a lot of nutritional support to just get back to baseline health.
Thanks for sharing all that 777 that really will be a big help to me down the road!
And I make WAY too much for foodstamps. Not bragging I have been on them before and even though I make a lot I will still be BROKE for at least a year digging out of the debt I caused.
But thanks a lot for all the info. I am feeding my body for sure!
And WOT ill have a separate work update later tonight. Hope you are doing well. You are awesome!
HEY Dude congrats on your clean time your doing great you have fought long and hard over the years you sound good now keep up the good work work the aftercare in and work it your going to make it this time.......Gnarly
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