Day 14 of Taper

[all_alone1]

So I tried posting yesturday but for some reason couldn't. Anyway I have dropped to 1/8 every 4-5 hours and it seems to be okay. I am going to start spacing them out longer until I am off. Wish me luck.

[gnarly_1]

HEY GIRL how you holding up?? how you feeling today?? your taper has been going well sorry about the run around getting the tea but it will bew worth it anyway post back when you get a chance took a cat nap when I got home from work and in up for the day will be in and out of the computer room
I will look for you post........Gnarly

[beth7819]

tapering off off what might i ask

[dominosarah]

Just wanted to throw in my support too!  You can do this!!      sara

[Innerstrength67]

Hey angel, your doing great. Hang in there. You are really taking care of yourself...
Big hugzzz!

[all_alone1]

I just finished taking a hot....hot epsom bath. I think that combined with the long walk today really relaxed me because I feel a good. tired....abble to sleep well tired. Hmmmmm.

[all_alone1]

Thank you mellie4. He is the same I have tried leaving him a havd full of times since I founf out he cheated. He always manipulates me to take him back. I too got rid of my house and rented an apartment (his name is not on the lease) he was very angry about that he wanted to rent a house but I would not. I knew the time would come and hopefully this time it is for good. I know I have to be strong......this time I am not even going to answer his text because he always makes me feel so damn guilty and then the **** starts all over again. I will keep you posted how it goes. I should be able to be pill free in the next days.

[mellie4]

I think you're doing great.  Keep posting and get your support where you can.  (I'm actually going to try to pick up the tea and see if it works well for me.  I've been taking Valerian Root instead of Ativan and it works pretty well.)

I'm sorry about the abuse you have to deal with.  I was in an abusive marriage for a very long time.  It took a long time before I really left him.  He had terrible addictions and when he would drink and take pills or cocaine it would get worse.  But he would always manipulate me in some way to let him come back.  When I finally had enough, five years ago, I sold my house (because I knew if I stayed there he would keep bothering me.)  We put an addition on my dad's house and I moved in there with my kids.  It's worked pretty well for everyone, as my dad is 83 and really can't be alone.

My ex still bothers me from time to time, but nothing like when he lived with me.  I can tell you that your stress level will go down so much when you are not living with someone who is constantly abusing you verbally and emotionally.  And there's always the fear that someone who is abusing you verbally will take it to he next level.  You and your kids will have so much more peace if you can get out of this situation.  It's not easy, I know.

I'm going to be really interested to see how it goes for you when you stop.  I've done a long taper off a whole bunch of things.  All is prescribed and I take it as prescribed but I just want to be off everything.  I'm at a small dose now and holding there due to some other issues, but I'll start tapering again soon.  I've gone in and out of withdrawal through my taper and it can be frustrating.  (Not an option for me to CT though.)  I hope when you stop you won't find you have any more withdrawal; I can imagine you would at that low a dose.  I think you'd only experience what you're experiencing now.

[all_alone1]

Well I just got back from my walk and of corse when I got to the rite aid they said they were out but would order me some. I'm just going to order the tea online it will take a couple of days but it will be at my front door.

[all_alone1]

Yeah my dad is asian so I drink a lot of green tea oolong and dragon well. But the kind I drink are only found in specialty stores or internet because they are not in bags they are the actual tea leaves. I just draink my last when I started detoxing.

[gnarly_1]

cool im glad you found it YOGI  makes like 20 different teas the one your after is the '''KAVA stress releaving tea pick some up it actually tast prity good with sweetner in it my wife is diabedic so we use sweet n low the smell will overwelm your scenes I have drank a lot of herbal teas but none that work as well as this stuff im bipolar so anxiety and stress come with the territory
if it wasent for things like this tea I would go nuts....I refuse to take benzos
been there done that got the t/shirt they quit working and there hard to get off    

[all_alone1]

I think insted of driving I am going to take a walk with the kids. It is only a few blocks from my apt.

[all_alone1]

They didn't have it at my walmar but the do have it at rite aid and walgreens

[all_alone1]

Okay I will google it right now

[littlebit667]

Good idea, gnarly.  Stress might cause your muscles to tense up and maybe the tea would help with that as well.  

[gnarly_1]

might be worth a trip over ther now b/4 things get tuff with your detox ....I would call first they just started caring it at our walmart like 2 mabe 3 weeks ago if you seep 2 bags for 10min its as good as a xanex for releaving stress
and right now stress is only making your symptoms worst and as you get lower it gets harder im just trying to make this ez on you you can google it and probably find it around town otherwise

[all_alone1]

Thanks to both innerstrenght67 and gnarly. Your support never ceases to amaze me. Netx time I am at walmart I will look for that tea.

[gnarly_1]

HI  hey check up at your local walmart in the tea dept for YOGI kava stress releaving tea this is by far the best relaxation tea I have ever had I use to get it at a spectity store but notice it on the shelf at walmart the other day
this stuff is worth having on the shelf especially with whatt your going threw
im so sorry you have to deal with an a/hole on top of detoxing I was lucky to have a verty suppotive wife that would even pray over me it helped any way I will chat with you later or maby now I will be up a wile good luck and God bless...im praying Gods will be done in your life.......Gnarly

[Innerstrength67]

Girl, you are doing great. Before you know it, you will pill free and clean. Your doing it!!!!
Do you realize how much strength it takes to taper. Most addicts can't do it. If you can do that, well skies the limit.
I'm proud of you!!!

[all_alone1]

Thanks gnarly. The withdraws haven't been too bad, yet. I've been sneezing alot., hot in the day and feel cold at night. My back and arm muscles feel a little tigh but not too bad. I get  slight anxiety attacks here and there they go away as quickly as they come.

[gnarly_1]

HEY GIRL seams like you got a solid plan and your one of the ones that can taper successfully keep droping the dose and spreading out the time
prity soon you will be ready to jump ....hows the withdrawals been>????
annyway just poped in for a minute thought I might ketch you I will be on between 12 and 2 mountain time if you want to talk good luck and God bless......Gnarly

[all_alone1]

Thank you littlebit667 you mean a lot to me, everyone in here does. I know my husband was the reason for me using pain killers. It numbed the hurt as well as the pain. I could fuction again like I used to before he destroyed the life, not perfect by any means, I had before he cheated but it was 100x better than the life he gave me after. I know leaving him is also best for me just difficult because I still care him. But he is still ruining me day by day and I can't allow that anymore I won't.

[littlebit667]

You are doing great.  Glad the facial bumps are going away.  We all have a reason for why these damn pills keep us hooked.  Maybe with your hubby gone, part of the reason why the pills were so attractive, will leave with him.  I said part, cause I know there is no easy answer why we become addicted.  I am starting to get a handle on why I let it happen and am trying to figure out ways to keep it from happening again.  Keep up the great work, you struggled hard to get here and it shows by your posts...that you are making it happen.

[all_alone1]

Oh by the way my face is clearing up:-). I don't know if it was the extra vitamins which I stopped for now, detoxing, or fighting with my hubby who has now been gone going on day 2. I am not sure how long he will stay away. It usually isn't long. I am crossing my fingers he won't come back. I know it souds cruel to some who are just reading my posts for the first time, but he is verry emotionally abusive and it is destroying me. Or was anyway I feel great right now.

[all_alone1]

Thanks I hope it won't be long.