Well to add to all the happy news in the forum today, I thought I should share mine. We need to mark this date as very special.
I posted on Saturday about how hurt I was by someone. Really, gut wrenching hurt. I was sobbing and out of control and I kept reaching for pills that weren't there. I was really afraid I would make a phone call. The number that I can't get out of me head. I am ridiculous with phone numbers. I can remember them forever. I used to be like that when I worked at the bank with account numbers.
Well, today I decided that I had let it eat away at me long enough and I made the phone call. Yup, I was going to get some answers. I started out talking about other things and then I cut to the chase and said. I want you to be really honest and you can tell me how you feel about me and especially if I hurt you over the last 5 years.
Turns out I have been carrying a lot of needless guilt and of course I did hear a few things about how worried he had been about me staying in bed all day and that I had been a victim long enough. I did explain how the pills had numbed me from feeling and didn't allow me to grieve properly. I know anyone who isn't an addict can't understand addiction but I also know he was right.
The Christmas thing was a total misunderstanding (because I really think men are dumb sometimes) and I will now be spending Christmas with my son.
I am so happy and was sure he hated me. It was so nice to be honest and to talk and to tell him that he HAD to be honest with me and tell me how he felt. He did, he really did and it wasn't that bad.
Thanks again for all your support and especially the support on Saturday.
Wow Pat that makes me so Incredibly happy for you . I am so proud of you You Picked up Phone and called . I am also glad you will be with your son on Christmas.
You sound great! Big(((HUGS))) to you My friend :)
I can NOT begin to tell you how happy this makes me! YAY! I needed this news tonight! I am so proud of you for taking a couple of days, collecting your thoughts and then making that call! I just knew it wasnt going to be as bad as you thought. The fact that you will have your son by your side this Christmas is the best news I could have gotten today!! Thank you for making my night buttercup!! :)
Pat this is so great to hear!! i know how much you love and missed your son!! now Christmas will be great for you both!! and all the days from now on!! so proud of you!! what a great accomplishment for you!! you are so strong!! you make me want to be a stronger person just knowing you!! xoxoxo
Congrats pat on day 17!!!
I also think that, when addicts think things are not the way they think they should be.
Most of the time is because we are living in a addiction mind. (I think you know what I'm trying to say) we analyze everything way over the top.
I'm so happy your life is coming together for you.
I have read all of the posts made by most of the lady's here.
And i have to say, you pat (and the other's) i can see the difference in you. Your mind is so much clearer, the way you express yourself now. WOW what a difference from a week ago. I'm so happy for you pat.
We have to mend a lot of bridges. And you my dear, you are on track to a very healthy life. Clean and Clear. I can see it.
Great job Pat.
You ladies have way to much fun on here. You do know chocolate, popcorn and nerds, together is a whole other addiction. Ha ha ha. just saying.
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