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Day 17 - Better news
Well to add to all the happy news in the forum today, I thought I should share mine. We need to mark this date as very special.
I posted on Saturday about how hurt I was by someone. Really, gut wrenching hurt. I was sobbing and out of control and I kept reaching for pills that weren't there. I was really afraid I would make a phone call. The number that I can't get out of me head. I am ridiculous with phone numbers. I can remember them forever. I used to be like that when I worked at the bank with account numbers.
Well, today I decided that I had let it eat away at me long enough and I made the phone call. Yup, I was going to get some answers. I started out talking about other things and then I cut to the chase and said. I want you to be really honest and you can tell me how you feel about me and especially if I hurt you over the last 5 years.
Turns out I have been carrying a lot of needless guilt and of course I did hear a few things about how worried he had been about me staying in bed all day and that I had been a victim long enough. I did explain how the pills had numbed me from feeling and didn't allow me to grieve properly. I know anyone who isn't an addict can't understand addiction but I also know he was right.
The Christmas thing was a total misunderstanding (because I really think men are dumb sometimes) and I will now be spending Christmas with my son.
I am so happy and was sure he hated me. It was so nice to be honest and to talk and to tell him that he HAD to be honest with me and tell me how he felt. He did, he really did and it wasn't that bad.
Thanks again for all your support and especially the support on Saturday.
I posted on Saturday about how hurt I was by someone. Really, gut wrenching hurt. I was sobbing and out of control and I kept reaching for pills that weren't there. I was really afraid I would make a phone call. The number that I can't get out of me head. I am ridiculous with phone numbers. I can remember them forever. I used to be like that when I worked at the bank with account numbers.
Well, today I decided that I had let it eat away at me long enough and I made the phone call. Yup, I was going to get some answers. I started out talking about other things and then I cut to the chase and said. I want you to be really honest and you can tell me how you feel about me and especially if I hurt you over the last 5 years.
Turns out I have been carrying a lot of needless guilt and of course I did hear a few things about how worried he had been about me staying in bed all day and that I had been a victim long enough. I did explain how the pills had numbed me from feeling and didn't allow me to grieve properly. I know anyone who isn't an addict can't understand addiction but I also know he was right.
The Christmas thing was a total misunderstanding (because I really think men are dumb sometimes) and I will now be spending Christmas with my son.
I am so happy and was sure he hated me. It was so nice to be honest and to talk and to tell him that he HAD to be honest with me and tell me how he felt. He did, he really did and it wasn't that bad.
Thanks again for all your support and especially the support on Saturday.
Pat, I'm so happy you got all that worked out and didn't use! That's amazing and a real milestone for you! Way to go! I'm proud of you! : )
lmao, where do the nerds come in?? We are bats, batty, jellybeans and buttercups but there are no nerds here.
lol
lol
Congrats pat on day 17!!!
I also think that, when addicts think things are not the way they think they should be.
Most of the time is because we are living in a addiction mind. (I think you know what I'm trying to say) we analyze everything way over the top.
I'm so happy your life is coming together for you.
I have read all of the posts made by most of the lady's here.
And i have to say, you pat (and the other's) i can see the difference in you. Your mind is so much clearer, the way you express yourself now. WOW what a difference from a week ago. I'm so happy for you pat.
We have to mend a lot of bridges. And you my dear, you are on track to a very healthy life. Clean and Clear. I can see it.
Great job Pat.
You ladies have way to much fun on here. You do know chocolate, popcorn and nerds, together is a whole other addiction. Ha ha ha. just saying.
I also think that, when addicts think things are not the way they think they should be.
Most of the time is because we are living in a addiction mind. (I think you know what I'm trying to say) we analyze everything way over the top.
I'm so happy your life is coming together for you.
I have read all of the posts made by most of the lady's here.
And i have to say, you pat (and the other's) i can see the difference in you. Your mind is so much clearer, the way you express yourself now. WOW what a difference from a week ago. I'm so happy for you pat.
We have to mend a lot of bridges. And you my dear, you are on track to a very healthy life. Clean and Clear. I can see it.
Great job Pat.
You ladies have way to much fun on here. You do know chocolate, popcorn and nerds, together is a whole other addiction. Ha ha ha. just saying.
It feels even better that he was honest with me. I was prepared for the worst and he still loves me lol. I knew he did!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
It feels good to be honest with our kids doesnt it. Great job Pat!!!
It's amazing how these posts can turn, isn't it? Now we are talking about dentists?
Pat, I think my answer was best, don't you? Ha ha ha ha
Pat, I think my answer was best, don't you? Ha ha ha ha
OMG speaking of the dentist I just ate a whole bag of nerds UGGGG! My teeth hurt and my tongue is raw
hahaha OMG I would LOVE to hear this!! I HATE the dentist and I have an irrational fear of them so I would be happy to solidify my reasoning of hating them!! lol
One day I will have to tell you ladies about my dentist horror story right when I got sober-It was like I was in an episode of Dexter!
I just balled my eyes out reading this!! Im so happy for you! You have come so far Pat! ((hugs))~Bkitty
Pat this is so great to hear!! i know how much you love and missed your son!! now Christmas will be great for you both!! and all the days from now on!! so proud of you!! what a great accomplishment for you!! you are so strong!! you make me want to be a stronger person just knowing you!! xoxoxo
Wonderful news, Pat! Reminds me of the line from a movie: "Yes, Virginia (Pat), there is a Santa Claus! I hope you will enjoy a happy and clean Christmas with your son!
That being said, all the sweetness in this post is giving me a cavity! Ha ha! Trying to be funny, oh maybe that wasn't too funny? LOL, sorry!
Take care, stay strong, and enjoy the wonderful holidays!
That being said, all the sweetness in this post is giving me a cavity! Ha ha! Trying to be funny, oh maybe that wasn't too funny? LOL, sorry!
Take care, stay strong, and enjoy the wonderful holidays!
And with that, I'm now going to log off. Fighting a cold (g-d I hope this isn't the flu).. so now I'm going to crash. See you tomorrow sweetie. Thank you for the smile tonight. I needed it too.
Pat, this really makes me smile. You're taking the steps you need to, not only to get clean, but to find your way back to where you belong. This is HUGE for your recovery. You make me proud.
So happy you made that phone call :) This made me smile and I am proud of you! You're a strong and amazing woman and you give me strength everyday!! Congrats on day 17! Xoxox Big hugs!
After reading this over, I should explain that the first phone call I was going to make was to my dealer. I know it's confusing.
I can NOT begin to tell you how happy this makes me! YAY! I needed this news tonight! I am so proud of you for taking a couple of days, collecting your thoughts and then making that call! I just knew it wasnt going to be as bad as you thought. The fact that you will have your son by your side this Christmas is the best news I could have gotten today!! Thank you for making my night buttercup!! :)
Love ya my friend and congrats on Day 17!!
Love ya my friend and congrats on Day 17!!
Wow Pat that makes me so Incredibly happy for you . I am so proud of you You Picked up Phone and called . I am also glad you will be with your son on Christmas.
You sound great! Big(((HUGS))) to you My friend :)
You sound great! Big(((HUGS))) to you My friend :)
This is wonderful news Pat! I am so glad you decided to make that call! Best wishes and continued success with your sobriety!
Sincerely,
Keri
Sincerely,
Keri
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