Day 23.............

[wannabefreeagain]

I dont really have a question, guess I just felt like typing something (smiles).  Still have no desire to use...the physical pains are better, but I still have no energy or drive, & my normal zeal for life is still not there, but, Im pushing on.  Im not in mood for even complaing right now,  what good does that do anyhow huh (smiles).  Im pushing hard doing the work to recover, I even made it back to the track yesterday. meeting this evening, and involved with my church recovery group.  I will say tho.....this time around, is different, and I believe that my life issues & circumstances that are going on around me, is playing a part in my mood for life & joy as well.  Im normally a bubbly personality, I pray that I can recover that part of me.  Well, Im still fighting for my energy back, still taking hot epsom baths.....my faith in god is solid, I know he will restore me in his time.  Until then I will continue to stand, push, & pray.  Have a blessed day all.

[merrymaria]

Congrats on your clean time...your name says it all...I wanted so much to be free again.  I just celebrated 8 years off opiates and freedom is so wonderful.  It took about 4 months for me to feel well or normal.  The energy thing is horrible...everything is blah but as our brains heal things turn around for the best...we just have to get through some dark times.   Keep on going and yes God is solid.  Blessings to you .

[gnarly_1]

hey Girl.....well at  least the phyical part has let up for you....the ''energy crash'' is very real with opiets and debilitating in itself just know with time it will leave you....get up to walmart and pick up a can of ''whey protein shake mix''  it is 18 bucks for a 2 pound can....just one scoop to a glass of milk...the chocolate flavor is good  drink 2 or 3 a day...it has raw protein for energy and a boat load of amino acids to heal the brain....exorcise as much as you can fast walking is good do a hard cardio if your up to it....im happy to here your going to give the meetings a shot....one addict helping another is without parallel and it will give  you structure in your life...being pluged into your church group is also good...I couldn't have got clean from the methadone if it wasent for the shead blood of Jesus  for me he just wanted me to pull close to him and to this day it was one of the most intamit times I had spiritually never under estimate the power of Jesus prayer is a powerful and will help once you shine his light on sin it looses it hold on you  I will continue to pray for you your wining this thing one day at a time so hang in there better days are ahead...as always keep posting for support
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Gnarly<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

[Jenr32star]

Also...congrats on 23 days clean!!

[wannabefreeagain]

thankyou jenr32star

[dominosarah]

I know it seems endless right now but it isnt.  Have you thought about maybe getting on an AD med?

[wannabefreeagain]

was put on cymbalta...so I been taking 30mg a day only for about 5-6 days.  Nothing seems to work.  Im just venting  I guess, either way...Im stuck....it has to get better eventually..rite ???   (smiles).    I most def will not be going backwards.  And yes..it does seem endless.....& thankyou dominosarah.   This has got to end.

[Jenr32star]

How long did physical symptoms last?  What was your dose?  Cold turkey or a taper?  I'm curious cause I'm on day 11!witjout methadone from a successful taper from 35-0.  Taper lasted 9 months and I was on it for 8.5 years.  The last 4.5 years my dose was 35.

[wannabefreeagain]

Hi jenr32star.....Well, ...Im coming off of percocets,  I cant tell you how many times I actually tryed to quit, so many times in the last 7-8 yrs, with the longest being 1 yr clean.  The rest of my attempts were like...1 week....1 month....2 weeks...etc.  Yes I cold turkey,... I cannot taper, I dont do well with that.  Far as physical withdrawal...Im not in as much pain as the first week or week & half....but I am much better with physical pain, just still tired, and have no energy.  Im still going thru symptoms, the mental, & emotional being the worst at this point. I wish you strength & healing...I never did methadone, but from what I have read on this site...its a monster to come off of....Boy I tell you these pills sure do rob you of your life, even your core soul. Im not living right now, just existing, but Im trying to stay hopeful for recovery of my soul & spirit soon.  You know, we stop using, and you think okay....its over..NOPE...you must go thru hell to get to the other side....if only I knew a date and time that this allll would subside & be over, and I would return to normal...it would be soo much easier to deal with.  Wishful thinking huh (smiles)......well it does not work like that unfortunately.

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 23 fantabulous days!!!!  It is nice to see you focusing on you now even amid the turmoil.  Do whatever it takes to stay clean, your life depends on it~

[wannabefreeagain]

I know my life depends on staying clean....I have no desire to use, thank god....I just sooooo wish I wasnt walking around with this question mark of when will I get my joy back, my zeal for life again, or even a hopeful mood, for that matter.  Sitting and continuing to exist in this dead, dull, emotionless mood is horrible. It just makes me wonder will I ever be restored.  I pray to god, that it changes soon.

[wannabefreeagain]

I know my life depends on staying clean....I have no desire to use, thank god....I just sooooo wish I wasnt walking around with this question mark of when will I get my joy back, my zeal for life again, or even a hopeful mood, for that matter.  Sitting and continuing to exist in this dead, dull, emotionless mood is horrible. It just makes me wonder will I ever be restored.  I pray to god, that it changes soon.