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Day 3 Oxy withdrawal
First time I have ever posted anything. I am on my 3rd day of oxy withdrawal. This is pure hell. Everyone knows the symptoms. I started using morphine in 2000 after an accident crushed my 4th vertibrae, I was on a pump. I learned how to manipulate the pump and after 7 weeks of 1000mg a week, I went ct. Worst days of my life. You think I would have learned from that. I am 53 years old, sober from alcohol 11 years. I started using percocet 10mg a day 1 year ago. I increased the amount and then went to oxy's. first 40mg a day to where I am now...100mg day. I have to pay street price. I decided to quit wednesday, it's friday morning. I just got a call letting me know they were available if I wanted some...I told him to never call me again. The crash isn't worth the high. I figure I am almost over the worst of this, maybe another 2 days max. I did get a visit from an old friend this morning, my first woody in 6 months...very interesting. There is no way I could have posted this the last couple days, I must be getting closer to the end...Unbelievable hell. I know I am doing the right thing, oh man it sure is tough, especially knowing a phone call will end all this...
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2 weeks today. I feel great.

We all have issues we are dealing with in life. I have mine you have yours. I guess what being clean means to me is... One less issue to deal with.

Wouldn't it be nice if all you had to do to drop an issue was to stop, be sick for a week or so, and it's gone.

That is how I am looking at this, keep it simple. Just stop. Amazing how much better life is.

God grant me the serenity...

Just Stop. ct
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A quick story...

10356, you wrote to me on Dec.11. I was on day 3. It meant a lot then, however this morning I get it.

I just got off the phone with my oldest daughter, she is 32. We were chatting about this and that. We have always talked. During our morning conversation, my daughter say's to me "Dad, you seem rejuvenated" she said, I don't know what it is, but you seem different.

She used the word rejuvenated...I guess that is what you mean by "seeing in color"

Wow I am rejuvenated cool...

Rejuvinated: To return to original
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1198664 tn?1368651412
Great to see you are doing so well man! I am better little by little every day. I am not rejuuvinated yet exactly but maybe recesitated :)

Let's keep rolling man you are still one day ahead of me!
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406584 tn?1399591666
That is so great ct that you heard her... while we are deep in our addiction that conversation would not have had a impact It would of just been shuffled off to the recess of our minds.. I have been reading your post and I'm glad you stuck around You have a amazing good attitude and this will take you far !! Life clean has it own set of difficulties but for myself I would rather feel them then to feel nothing at all but my own misery and guilt.. Proud and Happy for you !! Your family must be feeling a great deal of relief for you sound like a wonderful man and I'm sure they were missing their poppa for a time.. Congrats on 2 weeks !! Whoo Hooo !! lesa
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Thanks I appreciate all the kind words and incredible support. ct
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1134902 tn?1296069744
I have a friend hooked on oxys, I've seen them take her down, lose custody of her child and lose the trust of her family... She's only 29.  She buys them off the street and spends $380 a day.  She sleeps with the old man that sells them to her when she has no money.  When she tries to quit the pills, she starts drinking heavy... Congrats on the motivation to straighten out... Don't be afraid to take advantage of any help offered.  People will not think of you as a weak addict but rather a strong committed person!!! All the best!!!
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Really sorry to hear about your friend.  What she has to do to afford a 380.00/day habit is going to kill her, if the oxy's don't first.

Life doesn't have to be that hard. All you have to do is stop. Yeah, it su cks for the first week, but man what a feeling once you turn the corner. I guess she hasn't had enough yet.

I am on day 18. I wanted to have 20 days in by Christmas. I went bowling with my family last night...bowling?? I had a blast. Laughed naturally.

Life doesn't have to be that hard.
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I could not have given myself or family a better Christmas present, Merry Christmas ct. 19 days clean. What a rush, just saying that, 19 days clean, I get chills...good chills.

I have been reading posts, some good some not so good...Anyone on the fence, wanting to jump off and get your life back. I can not tell you how good you will feel. I have not felt like this in a long time. I feel light, happy, myself again.

You have to want to be clean.

No more counting pills, no more denial, no more laxatives, The $$ I will save, All the BS...gone, because I had enough and stopped. 19 day, looking back it went pretty fast, I remember the first 4-5 very well...

I am taking my life back on my terms...you can do it too.

I say this not just for you, but it helps me to hear it as well.

Tomorrow I open my Christmas gift to me...20 days.

Merry Christmas everyone.

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This is great. I always wondered how you feel once off.  
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406584 tn?1399591666
I agree what a Wonderful gift to Yourself and Family Have a Very Merry Christmas 20 days and going strong !! warm hugs lesa
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Thanks Lesa.

I had a wonderful Christmas. Received great news, my wife is American, I am Canadian. We have been apart for 14 months. She was cleared to come back to Canada!

I was told several times that I look good. One person told me I look 10 years younger, that would put me at 43! I said I feel 10 years younger and laughed.

During Christmas dinner an infant started to choke on food. I jumped up grabbed the child, turned her over slapped her back and she coughed the piece of food out.
I like to think I would have done that anyway, but in reality, I reacted much faster than I would have under the fog. It was all over in seconds and we went on with our meal.

My family looked so proud, I did all I could not to burst the buttons off my shirt, not for the reaction...but the way my family looked at me. Dad,Poppa& husband is back.

I did see the guy who I bought pills from. He looked like he crap. he congratulated me on my will power. I just said "thanks" and walked on...

ct
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The feeling is fantastic.
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Day 24...

I don't get it. Why do I feel like I am always being tested. Everyone is gone for New Years, flew out yesterday to be with their Mother in California.  Sitting here listening to Dave Matthews & Neil Young...Alone and forsaken.

There has been an envelope on my desk for months. It has a web page written on it. I picked it up to throw away, felt something in it. What do I find...yup, 1 pill. 40mg oxy.

I am sitting here looking at it.

Why am I always being tested? The right thing to do of course is to get up and throw it down the toilet. Then my brain says, you could keep it, you never know when you may need it for pain...yeah right.

I decided to come to mh and write about this. I am still looking at it. Can you believe this bs...I will be alone for New Years, feeling kind of down...I can't go to the States because of immigration paperwork, another story.

This *****. I haven't really thought about using in 24 days. Trying to stay positive...then when my guard is down I find this.

Still looking at it.

ok, lets think this through...I won't dare pick it up, never know what my hands might do...can't trust my hands right now. Actually my palms are sweating. And I feel a little shaky. I wonder if it's the shock of finding it, never in a million years did I expect this...or is it because I am scared of what I am thinking.

I have to think this through...

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go flush it right now and then it's over, no more thinking about it.  That one pill won't make you feel better and will just bring regret.  I am sorry that you have to be alone on New Year's but look at what you have accomplished.  You are going into 2011 pill free and I have a feeling that this upcoming year will be your best one yet.  Stay positive and be thankful.  love and hugs! lyn
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PS>  You know what might help, go read posts of the people that are going through what you just went through right now.  You don't ever want to go back and have to do that again.  hang in there!  Remember, it takes time for your brain to heal and your emotions to get under control again.
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I just flushed it. It's gone...problem solved.

Wow, that was scary. Ok, then...thanks for the reminder, and so quick too. You are so right...I just needed to think it through.

Not looking at it anymore.

Finding that pill wasn't very fair. I shake my head sometimes and wonder..how did that happen. Then I start thinking, ok...there may be more surprises hidden about. Be ready to handle it. I passed my first test.

Bugger eh...
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271792 tn?1334983257
How about this for a reason to stay clean, you wrote this 4 days ago:

"I had a wonderful Christmas. Received great news, my wife is American, I am Canadian. We have been apart for 14 months. She was cleared to come back to Canada!

I was told several times that I look good. One person told me I look 10 years younger, that would put me at 43! I said I feel 10 years younger and laughed.

During Christmas dinner an infant started to choke on food. I jumped up grabbed the child, turned her over slapped her back and she coughed the piece of food out.
I like to think I would have done that anyway, but in reality, I reacted much faster than I would have under the fog. It was all over in seconds and we went on with our meal.

My family looked so proud, I did all I could not to burst the buttons off my shirt, not for the reaction...but the way my family looked at me. Dad,Poppa& husband is back."
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Yeah, exactly. I was weak there for a moment. Sure glad I came here as fast as I did.

I had a moment, caught me by surprise. I handled it. I feel ok. Of course part of me romanced the high...I am good again. Flushed it down.

Just when you think you have it together...you get knocked down a notch.

I am ok, thanks for having my back.
ct.
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crazy thoughts..so many crazy thoughts went through my head in minutes. Like, clean for 24 days, a 40 would kick my ***. Or cut it in 2, 20 would do fine...I can handle it, I just quit, I can stop after a 40...

We can be our own worst enemy. I just read my post on day 3...a little reminder of how far I have come.

I need a meeting.
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HI just wanted to say congrats on 24 days clean and passing a very hard test I cant even be around the bottle let alone handle the pills and I got 438 days clean you did great
my wife has a torn rotor cuff the doctor has been giving her percs 60 at a time
just the though of them being in the house drives me nuts she keeps them in a safe place well out of my reach but a trigger is a trigger you will learn what sets you off as you move along with this and yes get to a meeting and air this out.......Gnarly
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Day 25...
Good morning, Thanks people for your support yesterday. Thinking back, it doesn't seem like a big deal today. Flush it and move on. I am in a much better mood this morning. I think if I found it today, probably wouldn't have been an issue?

Your right F_H_L, I would feel regret, I feel guilty just thinking of what I was thinking...however short it was.

Anyway, new day new me...New Year. New chapter...
ct
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I am getting my clean days all mixed up...am I on day 30 or 31...it doesn't matter I guess, the important thing is I am clean. ct
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617347 tn?1331296681
Hey, Congrats on this your first month !!!! :) well done !
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1283286 tn?1312915566
I think it adds up to day 29 :)  Thats cool!
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Thanks, my last pill was Tuesday, Dec 7th @ 7:PM. I remember that like yesterday. My thought was save the pill for the morning, or be done with this life right now...I had to attend my grandson's school Christmas concert Wed. morning at 9AM. I remember sitting there looking at all the parents and grandparents thinking, no one has a clue, here I am getting ready to go through detox, full blown cold turkey...here we go, the calm before the storm...time to break the chains...I was already starting to feel extremely tired, my nose was starting to run. I told my family I thought I was coming down with the flu...

So it's 30 days today!! I can't tell you how glad I am that I don't have to hide my life, today, what you see, is who I am.

Yeah, that is cool. Thanks again. This site made all the difference, good people that really care. I just googled oxy withdrawal on my 3rd day, and clicked on it, next thing you know I posted...the rest is history...I feel pretty good, and proud of myself.

I never want to go back to that life, ever...the monkey is off my back.

I wish everyone going through the early stages of withdrawal the strength and determination to hang in, the reward is worth it.

ct

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66 days and the monkey is still off my back. Sure I think obout using, I romance it for awhile, then I get a reality check. I come back here and read my journey. Pill free for 66 days...pretty awesome. ct
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137 days, I am at a point where I can't remember what it was I craved. All is good.
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1283286 tn?1312915566
Thats great, I'm not far behind you..:)
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406584 tn?1399591666
137 days that is wonderful ct !! Look how far you have come !! :)) Congrats ! It is always good to see you checking in :) warm hugs lesa
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5592133 tn?1383883103
iam hitting the wall on day 3.5 at 5 ok in the morning. your story and the people who really want you to win .i am sure they want me to win too.first 3 days were kind of easy  then it just hit like a sledgehammer . after feeling back to myself.iam taking minute by minute hour by hour day by day.no sleep today i must get up soon and try to live my life opiate free.how the heck can i stay up days on end with no bad effects
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5592133 tn?1383883103
5 days and feeling much better.no desire to take another one of those poision pills the doctors call cash flow.my pain i was beening treated for still hurts i realize it will always hurt.keep the pills rite by my bed i aint afraid of them i dont want them
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406584 tn?1399591666
Hi Butch I had just seen this and wanted to Welcome you to the forum also to let you know that yes the same peps that supported CT. are here to support you :) Congrats on day 5 ! That is Wonderful !! You are just about over the worst of the physical.. I'm just going to be upfront with you, the pills sitting next to your bed will call and sit on your mind, although you may think you are showing how strong you are to yourself, Our addiction is always stronger.. I sure hope you flush those pills so you do not have to go thru this again. The pain you feel could be rebound pain It seems the pain we have intensify's for awhile while our brain is trying to get us to take more opiates as it likes them !! So this will ease the longer you are clean.. Anyway I look forward to reading of your progress and sure hope you flush those pills !! Congrats on taking your life back ! lesa
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5592133 tn?1383883103
thank you so much for caring didnt matter if anybody was listening as long as i could write it down to remember if there was a next time.i have had about three next times .they were all caused by surgery.  5 days ok but 2 years come on i didnt need it that long.i also have fibro oxy dont get rid of that pain.i have replaced it with yoga.not the manly thing to do but it really helps you can mix it with arobics or what ever .you need to move.yea i am a big shot with leaving the pills there.but i always have been that means i am getting back to normal.i understand your concern.thanks for the love coming from your heart trying to help a stranger.
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406584 tn?1399591666
Your very Welcome Butch.. Getting back to normal this is what we want.. I sure hope you do not need anymore surgery's and that this will be the last time.. I agree about the yoga I have arthritis and as long as I keep moving I do better.. Hope you get some rest tonight and that tomorrow is even better..
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5592133 tn?1383883103
sleeping seems to be the big problem havent don much in the last week.but today i drove my car for the first time in months.didnt feel like i should put someone else at risk because of my problems.thanks again for caring an know that you are helping someone very much
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406584 tn?1399591666
Sleep is the last to return for most of us.. can you believe some sleep thru detox ? This has always amazed me.. you could try some valerian root with melatonin this is Natural and can be bought at any drug store our walmart. a warm bath with a heating pad will help some.. it took me 8 days to sleep when I went thru my wd with lil 15 min cat naps but when I did sleep I slept for hours :) It took a few months to regulate. we appreciate sleep like no other ! I love to take long drives so I was pleased you are driving again It helps so much to get out of the house it helps us to get out of our own heads ! The time you were on them was long so it will take a lil longer then your 2 previous times but you will get back to feeling well..as said you are very welcome Butch. Active addiction robs us of caring I think one of my most treasured emotions I got back was the ability to care..
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5592133 tn?1383883103
thanks again i havent sleep more then 20 minutes any day so far.one time when i got off i was up 5 days straight .i got off to get  surgery and it was great with post op the stuff they gave me worked but i was then back on oxy.a year later i needed more surgery didnt get off and every thing they gave me did nothing.the only thing i had was my yoga breathing.my doc decided to give me fentalyn patch.said you cant abuse it and you will keeep your pain relieve constant.i put that patch on and withing 6 hours i felt like i  couldnt breath and ripped it off .if i would have fallen a sleep  i would have been dead.i knew i couldnt trust the doctors anymore so i did it myself.two days down to 20 mg from 30 a day then cold turkey.i
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5592133 tn?1383883103
its seven o clock after not sleeping i am going to work with my son how do we keep function without sleep?was in extreme pain last nite i knew one pill would let me sleep.i kept thinking how do i live with this pain .wasnt even thinking about taken a pill i truly know the pills will never be my ans . i rather die of lack of sleep.   then take a pill.people out there when your doc gives you pills to long it is just because its easy for them and they dont want to treat your problem.these  pills are for short term or they are making you comfortable as you die.
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5592133 tn?1383883103
it is now 11 oclock.didnt help my son with some work.got a little sleep between 7 and 11the only thing i liked about those pills when i got up 45 minutes latter  i felt ready to go,now getting moving after sleep is very hard and could take hours . as time goes on maybe it will get better .DONT TAKE THESE PILLS FOR MORE THEN SEVEN DAYS.with my health  issues i realize i will have pain .PAIN PILLS DONT GET RID OF PAIN. sorry for the preaching just want to help one person .just like a couple of people have helped me.opiates are for surgery recovery and dying.if you are doing one of those things take them pills if not go smoke some pot maybe that will work for you if not at least its easy to stop.
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406584 tn?1399591666
You will sleep Butch I sure hope and pray that it is tonight... I do not know how we function but I do know that you will eventually sleep.. The pain will ease up a lil the longer you go You really are doing very well.. Thank goodness you were aware enough to know the patch was too strong !! damn, so glad you took it off and got clean. You sound strong and determined and a lil angry. this is good this will get you past this part of the detox..I will look forward to your update..
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5592133 tn?1383883103
thank you 10356.i guess i am angry not at life not at my pain just at these crooked docs who are making a fortune and causing pain when they say they are curing it.and to the govt that allows tons of poison to be put into our society and yet put people in jail for smoking a joint that helps many people cope with there problem.today was a bad day maybe the rain maybe the rest of withdrawal but not getting out of bed all day is not what i do.i am not depressed .i am angry and glad i got this far .thanks for your help when you are down and out not many people want to help but when things are good everybody wants a piece of you.
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406584 tn?1399591666
You were on the oxy awhile that is some hard hitting drugs.. it is going to take a lil while to feel better That anger will fuel you to get over this part of the detox. No I have heard form many that have been given medication with no warning from the Dr. how difficult it is to get off, It is in the paper work that it is addictive but I think it is a conversation the Dr. should be having with us and if they know how to get us on it they should know how to get us off it ! But they usually do not so here we are. This is day 7 going on 8 so you will be noticing a easing of the symptoms soon, then your appetite will come back ! energy will take a lil longer but it does return. sometimes we have to force ourselves to move but it is worth it. I forced myself to walk everyday I think that helped more then anything.. Anyway I sure hope you are sleeping and will look forward to reading how you are doing..
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5592133 tn?1383883103
5:45 in the morning no sleep but not really feeling discomfort.what really makes me mad when  i went from three percocet to  4 when i was in breakaway  pain  because of a needed knee operation i went to my doc  who was giving me the pills without a visit just a phone call.i went to see him and told him i was short pills that month because of extra pain.he freaked out and said i dont give four to anybody you have to go to pain doc in our practice.first thing he did was take a drug test for 600 dollars.not to see if i was taken any other drugs drugs to make sure i was taken the percs.he didnt trust me .i said if you dont trust me go to hell i dont trust you.then i called for all my medical records.i noticed for the last 6 years on my annnual physical he said the he did a didital exam for prostate he said the size and condition of my prostate only problem he didnt do it.i know this guy for 15 years and he risked my life to save time but he got paid for something he didnt do.today should be better sleep or no sleep
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5592133 tn?1383883103
i cant wait to have a  desire for  food .since sept i went from 190 to 165.told that to doc .the genuis wants to run a complete cancer screening.never even considered the percs.this must be put in perspective.10 years ago while doing an mri for a urinary tract infection they found something in my psoas muscle the thigh muscle.they told me it was a sarcoma and i had to have it out now or i would die .one inch slice no big deal best cancer hospital in manhatten .6 in slice later pulled out my sciatic nerve pain there for the rest of my lifeand guess what it was a cycst it would have dissapated in my leg by itself.they told me i was lucky.it didnt feel that way still dont.thats not malpractice the law ***** too.between the lawyers and doctors .if i never met one i would have had a  much better life..sorry for ranting please everyone be carefull of both  doc and lawyers
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1235186 tn?1339127464
Hi butch I have been following your posts. Maybe you should start your own thread on the main page, post a question.
Yes you should move around as much as possible, stretching ,swimming.
It is important to eat, try to eat small amounts of light foods every couple hours, soups, yogurts, drink ensure or boost, crackers, you need your strength.
Many times the pain gets worse on the opiates. It is called hyperalgesia, opiate induced pain. Have you tried alternative pain management?
Acupuncture, chiropractor, massage, physical therapy, massage, hydrotherapy.
You can try these things to help relax you for sleep also,Alteril, sleep by nature made,  valerian root, sleepy time tea.
Keep moving forward. You are doing great.
Debbie
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5592133 tn?1383883103
strange thing about hot tubs i use to go in  mine just about every day when i started the oxyi i counld not go in any more made me feel faint.i started going back in again nothing better then going in a hot tub.getting close to beating this thing.the good part for me i never liked the feeling of these pills i took because i thought they were medicine.some people like them it must be much harder on them.i was more like depend i do not know   the difference they are both bad.i ended up here for some reason and you and 10356 have been very caring and i really appreciate
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406584 tn?1399591666
Good afternoon Butch. Hopefully tonight you will sleep. You have every right to be angry with your Dr. Loosing trust is never easy and to be left with needless pain and lied about... Yes you have every right to be angry.. I do hope you find another Dr. and that you are able to form a relationship as you know with everything going on you may need one in the future.. What Atthebeach is suggesting is starting your own question to the community by going to the top of the page hitting the post the question button and telling of your journey there. That way more peps reading the forum would see it as you are posting on a old thread.. more visibility more support :) others also follow and your story will help them just as CT helped you. We have many kind members :)) Yes your appetite will be returning very soon and for many it is with a vengeance !! The hot tub must make you feel much better for a lil. It really sounds like they were over medicating you Butch.. I'm so Glad you ripped that patch off and found us !! Debbie gave you some great advice on nutrition till you feel like eating a good amount. You may not have been lucky that time but you were this time You woke up to what the opiates were doing to you.. I'm really glad you are not a addict as that comes with it's own after the detox, You are not the first pain patient to find us I wish more would as we are good at helping to get off the stuff. Looking forward to your update Butch. lesa
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i am detoxing for the 5th time I've been on them for 4 years and now and then have quit cold turkey once for a month once for 25 days once for two weeks and once 9 days and i can tell you the dtox gets easy even enjoyable knowing you will have energy and control again but let me tell you once the self gratification of going through it wears off the boredom will get to you and the routine don't ever underestimate the mental addiction it is more powerful than you think this time I'm gonna keep reminding myself that like any drug once you get used to it it looses its kick and starts to destroy you you really have to think long term and give your self long term goals and keep busy to battle the boredom this is the hardest part good luck everyone i wish you the best
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229538 tn?1300381367
Hi and welcome ! You are posting from a very old thread ! Copy and paste this to a new question and you will get better results as far as answers . Jimmy
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Dec. 7th 2010, I was on day 3 of one of the worst days of my life. Today, I am 4 years, 5 months and 21 days clean. Life is good, you just have to want it. For those who are still struggling, hurting or fighting to stay clean. Be strong, you can do it.
July 17 2015 I will be 15 years alcohol free as well.
CTBlues
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