Well Day 3 is almost done and moving onto day 4. It's a funny thing this is the 6th time this year I've done this and I get almost no physical withdrawals other than lack of sleep n some anxiety. It is almost like my brain has decided to make the physical part easy so that I can convince myself to use.
As I look back over the last year. Each n every time I have stopped, I've made small changes. At first it was diet n exercise, then it was cutting off contacts, then quitting my pain management (I used to save my scripts just in case I ever needed it and I always found a way to need it), then I got a therapist and this time it's been NA.
I wonder now why did I not just do all that in the beginning? Because I was gonna do it my way. Control. I can control myself. I'm not like people in NA. My addiction started as a legit pain issue, I was functioning. That stuff was all for junkies. No one even could notice my dirty little secret. Boy was I wrong!!!!!!!!!
As I sit here today I can say my name is Justin and I am an addict. I've been sober 3 days. I will not use today no matter how tempted I may become
Congratulations Justin. Hindsight is always 20/20 and we can't be too hard on ourselves. The point is that you keep taking steps forward to better your life which takes an enormous amount of courage and strength. Good for you-keep at it and you will be amazed at how your life will transform....Best wishes...LuLu
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