Well Day 3 is almost done and moving onto day 4. It's a funny thing this is the 6th time this year I've done this and I get almost no physical withdrawals other than lack of sleep n some anxiety. It is almost like my brain has decided to make the physical part easy so that I can convince myself to use.
As I look back over the last year. Each n every time I have stopped, I've made small changes. At first it was diet n exercise, then it was cutting off contacts, then quitting my pain management (I used to save my scripts just in case I ever needed it and I always found a way to need it), then I got a therapist and this time it's been NA.
I wonder now why did I not just do all that in the beginning? Because I was gonna do it my way. Control. I can control myself. I'm not like people in NA. My addiction started as a legit pain issue, I was functioning. That stuff was all for junkies. No one even could notice my dirty little secret. Boy was I wrong!!!!!!!!!
As I sit here today I can say my name is Justin and I am an addict. I've been sober 3 days. I will not use today no matter how tempted I may become