Aa
Day 31
Well I know this has been a hard couple days for so many - myself included but I am finally on day 31. I was thinking about not celebrating it but I know when I read others were clean for this long it gave me hope.
Physically I am doing well. Emotionally a roller coaster as so many of you know. One of the greatest things I have learned through all this is to ask for help (mj taught me that). If I did not ask for help yesterday I am not sure where I would be.
Somedays I literrally feel like my legs have been chopped off - I feel completely helpless. Then I talk it out and it gets better. Then I become strong again to support others.
I just want to say thank you to so many of you.
Tim you were with me on my first really bad night. By the end of the night I was actually laughing. I am not sure how you made that happen but you did. You never left me until I was ok. I cannot tell you what that means to me - you have always stood by me. And I will always be here for you.
Mar sweetie you know you are my guardian angel. You words and the love you show for people is so apparent. You are my special friend and you mean so much to me.
Lisa, oh you sweet thing. We have been through a lot together. We have so much in common and you are a great constant on the board. You are deeply missed when you are not around. I feel so bad for what you have gone through these last few days. Just know I have always looked up to you - you have inspired time and again.
Hope - What can I say. You are a very loving and caring woman. To go what you have been through and having your dad being sick -you are so brave. Hope you will get there. I know you have the desire. You are a special lady.
Todd my sweet Todd. Always making me laugh. I love the bond we have and the times we have shared. You have made this process so much easier on me. I miss you when you are not around. Luv you Toddy.
tzt you are just an awesome woman. So strong and intelligent. You always post at just the right time. Thank you.
Ionote you are a sweetheart and I appreciate everything you do. I love your jokes - you make me laugh! There is no better medicine then laughter.
Ok I am shutting up for now...sorry for the long post and I am not trying to leave anyone out. IF I have I am sorry. It will come to me - my brain is not what it used to be but getting better everyday.
I love you guys with all my heart.
shelb
Physically I am doing well. Emotionally a roller coaster as so many of you know. One of the greatest things I have learned through all this is to ask for help (mj taught me that). If I did not ask for help yesterday I am not sure where I would be.
Somedays I literrally feel like my legs have been chopped off - I feel completely helpless. Then I talk it out and it gets better. Then I become strong again to support others.
I just want to say thank you to so many of you.
Tim you were with me on my first really bad night. By the end of the night I was actually laughing. I am not sure how you made that happen but you did. You never left me until I was ok. I cannot tell you what that means to me - you have always stood by me. And I will always be here for you.
Mar sweetie you know you are my guardian angel. You words and the love you show for people is so apparent. You are my special friend and you mean so much to me.
Lisa, oh you sweet thing. We have been through a lot together. We have so much in common and you are a great constant on the board. You are deeply missed when you are not around. I feel so bad for what you have gone through these last few days. Just know I have always looked up to you - you have inspired time and again.
Hope - What can I say. You are a very loving and caring woman. To go what you have been through and having your dad being sick -you are so brave. Hope you will get there. I know you have the desire. You are a special lady.
Todd my sweet Todd. Always making me laugh. I love the bond we have and the times we have shared. You have made this process so much easier on me. I miss you when you are not around. Luv you Toddy.
tzt you are just an awesome woman. So strong and intelligent. You always post at just the right time. Thank you.
Ionote you are a sweetheart and I appreciate everything you do. I love your jokes - you make me laugh! There is no better medicine then laughter.
Ok I am shutting up for now...sorry for the long post and I am not trying to leave anyone out. IF I have I am sorry. It will come to me - my brain is not what it used to be but getting better everyday.
I love you guys with all my heart.
shelb
Promise me you are going to do something NICE for yourself today - something a lil extravagant - something! - because you deserve it.
I hope you will take a few moments today to take in what you have done.
Shelb - it's amazing. I hope you feel proud... because ya should...
xoxox
:)
moi!
I hope you will take a few moments today to take in what you have done.
Shelb - it's amazing. I hope you feel proud... because ya should...
xoxox
:)
moi!
I think you are right. Maybe a nice massage by a hunky man! Then again maybe not! lol Just a joke!
luv you hun,
me
luv you hun,
me
Ok I expected more praise then this!
Oh I am feisty today...just disregard this! lol
luv,
shel
Oh I am feisty today...just disregard this! lol
luv,
shel
Hey there sweet one!!! In my Native tribal language you would be called "Akomachi" which means sweet one (-:
In NA you would be presented with your first key chain or token and everyone would clap for you and expect a speech about how you did it............and at the beginning of the meetings they ask for everyone who is a newcomer (30 days or less) to introduce themselves and you would no longer need to intro yourself as a newcomer! So to me....................................30 days is a HUGE deal, not that 1 day or 1 hour isn't important but 30 days is just a special milestone to me. I swear, I remember that 30 day keychain token seeming like it took longer to get than the yearly cakes I got afterwards!!!!
So I am personally clapping for you............wait................
Did you hear that?? lol!!!
Okay, oldtimer, tell us how you did it?????
You are so awesome and are truly a miracle!!!!
Loves ya lots!
tzt
In NA you would be presented with your first key chain or token and everyone would clap for you and expect a speech about how you did it............and at the beginning of the meetings they ask for everyone who is a newcomer (30 days or less) to introduce themselves and you would no longer need to intro yourself as a newcomer! So to me....................................30 days is a HUGE deal, not that 1 day or 1 hour isn't important but 30 days is just a special milestone to me. I swear, I remember that 30 day keychain token seeming like it took longer to get than the yearly cakes I got afterwards!!!!
So I am personally clapping for you............wait................
Did you hear that?? lol!!!
Okay, oldtimer, tell us how you did it?????
You are so awesome and are truly a miracle!!!!
Loves ya lots!
tzt
Thank you sweetie! I love that name by the way - maybe I should change my screen name. :)
I already gave a speech at the beginning of the thread and I doubt the anyone wants to hear me ramble! lol
How did I do it? Well I was determined to begin with. I was so sick and tired of feeling like ****. And being moody, self centered pain in the butt! The most important thing though was you guys. No doubt in my mind. Talking about how you are feeling and what you are going through emotionally, physically - it is so important. I have felt weak a couple times - well more then a couple. It was so hard to not just pick up a pill and take it. When I would get that way I would stop myself and remember the pain of withdrawal, the pain I have caused my family and how I was destroying my life. The time factor was important to me - made me see things more clearly then just the immediate rush of taking the drug.
Thank you again for all your support and kind words sweetie! I really appreciate it!
luv,
shel
I already gave a speech at the beginning of the thread and I doubt the anyone wants to hear me ramble! lol
How did I do it? Well I was determined to begin with. I was so sick and tired of feeling like ****. And being moody, self centered pain in the butt! The most important thing though was you guys. No doubt in my mind. Talking about how you are feeling and what you are going through emotionally, physically - it is so important. I have felt weak a couple times - well more then a couple. It was so hard to not just pick up a pill and take it. When I would get that way I would stop myself and remember the pain of withdrawal, the pain I have caused my family and how I was destroying my life. The time factor was important to me - made me see things more clearly then just the immediate rush of taking the drug.
Thank you again for all your support and kind words sweetie! I really appreciate it!
luv,
shel
hey there my friend Congratulations on the 31days//// I wish I had a coin to give you on here.. :o)///// I have 18 days and counting..lol... I am so happy for you.. I know you went through alot to get off of them. I am just very proud of you.. keep up the good work..
Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words and congratualtions to you! 31 days will be here before you know it!
luv,
shel
luv,
shel
I am taking a day at a time and sometimes a minute at a time.. I am so scare shel. I also am confused.. but I am doing it. whats so hard is that one of my dealers is right next door.. but I have to desire.. I asked them to not call me anymore and please respect my wishes.. I am so happy for you. and thank you for your kind words also., it means alot to me..:o)
I know you are scared hun - I am too everyday! Somedays are easier then others. We just have to keep working away at it. Life is wonderful sober though - I am tellin' ya! I completely forgot what it was like - 10 years is a long time to be drugged.
I am sorry I did not respond sooner. The posts get pushed down too quickly!
luv,
shel
I am sorry I did not respond sooner. The posts get pushed down too quickly!
luv,
shel
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