Day 33 and you'd think I'd be happy...

[HelpinUtah]

being off the Lortab and I'm not.  I'm still suffering with the pancreatitis.  The specialist is still trying to figure out how to get into my abdominal cavity considering my gastric bypass.  I'm just depressed and feel like such a failure in all areas of my life right now.  I could really use and escape right now and Lortab is sounding very good.  I'm worried because I'm starting to use the Xanax more than usual as well.  I just hope I can control that and not become addicted.  But, I've needed something to keep me calm this weekend.  I feel hopeless!!!!  

[HelpinUtah]

I have asked my HR for the paperwork.  So far, she has not sent it to me.  My boss won't be happy, but if I have chronic pancreatitis, then I will need to take time off once in awhile. So, I want to use FMLA so that I can at least do that without fear of being fired.  In some way I just want to quit, but I can't given the economy right now.  I'm so blessed to have a job!  

I hope the specialist calls me back soon.  His nurse called me and said he is reviewing my gastric bypass reports right now.  He just received them late Friday afternoon from my surgeon out in PA.  So, I'm hoping he can figure out a way to get in there and look!

Thank you for being there for me!  I'm feeling abandoned right now by others in my life.  It's probably my own fault, but it's how I feel!  

Thanks!!!

[dominosarah]

I had to take off one month of work when i had pancreatitis.  It was awful.  Had to apply for FMLA thru my employer.  Is that an option where you work?  Am glad worried posted as she always knows what to say!!!!!!  Hope you feel better.         sara

[HelpinUtah]

You're right.  I quit the pills because I was tired of living in a fog.  So, you think the depression is still strong from being off the Lortab and the illness is adding to it?

[HelpinUtah]

I think one of the problems is that I have to come to work feeling like this.  I had taken so much time off the past few months for similar pains in my abdomen but never knew that it was this before and so when I took two days off in the beginning of my withdrawals I was told if I missed another day of work I'd either be fired or written up with one more chance.  I'm just needed to rest.  I'm just frustrated.

I know what you're saying.  I will try to stay strong!  I appreciate your advice!

[worried878]

sounds like u have alot on ur plate....lortab does not help but hurts pancreatitis...but i know how u feel..sometimes we forget the reasons we quit when we feel low...a month is still in the depression phase and u need to give it more time...what r u doing to get ur endorphins going to help with the depression?  and a xanax addiction is no fun i would imagine altho i have not been there...heard enuf here to know i dont want to go there...coping strategies that dont involve medication are something we have to get under control..to re-learn..pills are how we have always managed to feel better..and that is not realistic thinking..and we know this....what were the reasons u quit the pills a month ago?

[dominosarah]

Dont add those pills on to what you have going.  I know how pancreatitis feels and it is no fun.  The docs will figure something out.  You are not a failure, you are 33 days clean and that is something to be proud of.  Is there someone you can have hold the zanax?  I hope you get some good news from the specialist soon and can get this resolved.  Keep posting but dont take any Lortabs.  The escape is not worth it.   Stay strong       sara